WHEREIN IS CONTINUED THE ACCOUNT OF HOW SANCHO PANZA
CONDUCTED HIMSELF IN HIS GOVERNMENT
Having held court, Sancho was escorted to a magnificent palace, where
dinner had been laid in a large and gorgeous chamber. There were
numerous ceremonies that he had to pass through as he entered; but he
went through them all undisturbed and with phlegmatic dignity. He was
seated at the head of the table, his own guest of honor as it were,
for he found he was the only one present there, excepting a number of
pages who surrounded him. But then he discovered behind himself a
gentleman who turned out to be a physician, and who soon aroused
Sancho's ire. For every time a dish was passed to Sancho, it had first
to be passed upon by the physician; and this dignitary seemed to have
made up his mind that governors were not meant to live, for every dish
was sent back to the kitchen, and Sancho found that a governor's meal
consisted in starvation.
This finally enraged the new governor so that he ordered the doctor
out of his sight, threatening to break a chair over his head if he did
not disappear quickly enough; but just at that moment there arrived a
messenger with a letter for the Governor from the Duke, and Sancho
became so excited that he forgot about his physician's expulsion for
the moment. The majordomo read the letter, which was addressed to the
Governor of the Island of Barataria. In it the Duke warned Sancho that
attacks would be made upon the island some night in the near future by
enemies of the Duke, and also, the Duke said, he had learned that four
men had entered the town in disguise, and that they would make an
attempt upon the Governor's life. He therefore cautioned Sancho to eat
nothing that was offered to him.
At once Sancho decided that the worst conspirator against his life was
the physician, who wanted to kill him by the slow death of hunger. He
said he thought it best to have him thrust into a dungeon. And then he
asked for a piece of bread and four pounds of grapes, feeling sure
that no poison would be in them, announcing at the same time as his
maxim that if he were going to be able to combat enemies he would have
to be well fed.
He then turned to the messenger and bade him say to the Duke that his
wishes would be obeyed; at the same time he sent a request to the
Duchess that she should not forget to have the letter he had written
to his Teresa Panza delivered, together with the bundle, by a
messenger. Last but not least, he asked to be remembered to his
beloved master Don Quixote by a kiss of the hand.
CHAPTERS XLVIII-XLIX
OF WHAT HAPPENED TO SANCHO IN MAKING THE ROUND OF HIS ISLAND
At last the physician felt it to his advantage to consent to prescribe
a good supper for the Governor that evening. The day had been taken up
with all sorts of applicants, who, it seemed to Sancho, would always
arrive at the wrong time, either when he was about to eat or wanted to
sleep.
The supper hour, which Sancho had been longing for all that day
arrived at last, and he was delighted with the beef, salad, onions,
and calves' feet that were put before him. He told the doctor that for
the future he ought never to trouble himself about giving him dainty
dishes and choice food to eat, for it would only unhinge his stomach.
Then to the head-carver he said: "What you had best do is to serve me
with what they call _ollas podridas_--and the rottener they are the
better they smell!" The others he addressed proverbially thus: "But
let nobody play pranks on me, for either we are or we are not. Let us
live and eat in peace and good fellowship, for when God sends the
dawn, he sends it for all. I mean to govern this island without giving
up a right or taking a bribe. Let every one keep his eye open, and
look out for the arrow; for I can tell them 'the devil is in
Cantillana,' and if they drive me to it they shall see something that
will astonish them. Nay, make yourself honey and the flies will eat
you."
In reply to this the head-carver took it upon himself to speak for the
rest of the inhabitants on the island, assuring Sancho that every one
was greatly pleased with his mild government, and that he already
stood high in their affections.
This brought forth a declaration from Sancho that if the people were
not pleased with his government, they would be fools; and then he went
on to state that he intended to see to it himself that the island was
purged of everything unclean and of all idlers and vagabonds. The
latter he compared to the drones in a hive, that eat up the honey the
industrious bees make. Furthermore, he emphasized that he would
encourage and reward the virtuous, and protect the church and its
ministers.
The majordomo was genuinely filled with admiration for all the
excellent ideas and remarks of the new governor, particularly when he
considered that he was a man without either education or culture; and
he could not help admitting to himself that even a joke could
sometimes become a reality, and that those who had played a joke on
some one might live to find themselves the victims of the very same
joke.
That night the Governor as usual made his rounds, accompanied by the
majordomo and his whole staff, including the chronicler, who was to
record the deeds of Governor Don Sancho Panza; and before the night
was over he had given fresh proof of his wisdom, for he settled a
quarrel between two gamblers and decided to break up gambling on his
island. He kept a youth out of jail. And he restored a young girl, who
wanted to see the world as a boy, to her father.