I
She hurried downstairs to meet Lionel the next evening, flushed and
resolute.
“Let’s walk!” she said.
“It’s raining----”
“I don’t care. I want to talk to you. I must!”
He didn’t approve of walking in the rain; he thought it imprudent and
eccentric, so that he was somewhat stiff; but she took no notice of
that. She thrust her hand through his arm and squeezed it a little.
“Lionel!” she whispered, “Shall we get married?”
“My dearest girl!” he cried. “You know there’s nothing on God’s earth I
want so much. But----”
“No! Listen! We can!”
And she told him Miss Eppendorfer’s plan. He refused violently; it
wasn’t fair to Frankie; he would be a cad, a beast.
“You’ll be much more of a beast if you won’t. We can be happy. I’ll save
up, and after you find a job, you can save too, so that we can soon have
a home of our own. And until then, of course, we’ll keep it a secret.
But, oh, Lionel, I do so want us to be safely married, so that no one
can separate us. So that if you were to be sick, I could look after
you.”
He comprehended perfectly and sympathised with that curious and touching
idea of all lovers; that if only they can be married, no ill can touch
them; they are safe.
“I can’t!” he said. “Absolutely I can’t. Don’t you see, old girl, I want
to give you _something_--I don’t want to _take_ everything from you. I
want----”
“Don’t let pride stand in the way!” she entreated. “Lionel, only suppose
one of us were to die! Dear, darling old boy, let’s be brave. Let’s just
go ahead, and if things are hard, why, we’ll go through with them
together.”
“I ought not,” he said miserably. “It’s not fair to you.”
He felt obliged to bring forward all the objections which obviously
presented themselves, but he did so without spirit. For the preposterous
idea appealed to him irresistibly. He said, “Wait,” but he didn’t mean
it. He abhorred waiting at all times, and above all, waiting for
Frankie. She kindled him, thrilled him with her serious madness.
“We can’t waste our best years,” said Frankie. “Really, Lionel, it’s not
a silly plan. I’m not rash, you know it. I _know_ this will be the best
plan for us both.”
She was determined to hold him tightly, to defend him from his own
weakness, to fortify him. For this, any sacrifice of pride, of worldly
advantage, was justified. She had to marry Lionel to save him, even if
in saving him everything else was lost.
“I’m not convinced,” he insisted, “but, old girl, I haven’t got the
strength to refuse. I’d have to be more than mortal to refuse to marry
my beautiful girl.”
“Stop being so wretched!” she ordered. “We’re going to be happy. We’re
going to help each other.”
He caught her in his arms.
“Darling!” he cried, “I’ll--I’d do _anything_ to make you happy. I’ll
try. I’m not good enough, but I’ll try. I--absolutely worship you,
Frankie!”
And added, more quietly:
“And when you’re my wife, I’ll amount to something.”