[Illustration: LADY HESTER STANHOPE IN HER SALOON
London, Henry Colburn, 1845]
MEMOIRS
OF THE
LADY HESTER STANHOPE,
AS RELATED BY HERSELF
IN CONVERSATIONS WITH HER
PHYSICIAN;
COMPRISING
HER OPINIONS AND ANECDOTES OF
SOME OF THE MOST REMARKABLE PERSONS
OF HER TIME.
All such writings and discourses as touch no man will mend no
man.――TYERS’S _Rhapsody on Pope_.
Second Edition.
IN THREE VOLUMES.
VOL. II.
LONDON:
HENRY COLBURN, PUBLISHER,
GREAT MARLBOROUGH STREET.
1846.
FREDERICK SHOBERL, JUNIOR,
PRINTER TO HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS PRINCE ALBERT,
51, RUPERT STREET, HAYMARKET, LONDON.
CONTENTS
OF
THE SECOND VOLUME.
CHAPTER I.
Lady Hester Stanhope’s descent――The Author’s first introduction to
her――Her reasons for quitting England――Anecdotes of her childhood
and womanhood――Her motives for going to live with Mr. Pitt――Mr.
Pitt’s opinion of Tom Paine――Lady Hester noticed by George
III.――Anecdote of Sir A. H.――Of Lord G.――Of Lord A.――Impertinent
questioners――Anecdote of the Marquis * * *――Mr. Pitt’s confidence in
Lady Hester’s discretion――and in her devotion to him――His opinion of
her cleverness, and of her military and diplomatic abilities――Her
tirade against doctors――Her reflections on prudery――Anecdote of
General Moore――Of the Duc de Blacas, &c. 1
CHAPTER II.
Sir Nathaniel Wraxall’s Memoirs――The three duchesses――Anecdote of
Mr. Rice――How Prime Ministers are employed on first taking
office――The Grenville make――P―――― of W―――― at Stowe――Mr. Pitt and
Mr. Sheridan―― Duke of H―――― ――Mr. Pitt’s disinterestedness
exemplified――His life wasted in the service of his country――Mr.
Rose――Mr. Long――Mr.―――― ――Grounds at Walmer laid out by Lady
Hester――Mr. Pitt’s deportment in retirement――His physiognomy――How he
got into debt――Lord Carrington; why made a peer――Extent of Mr.
Dundas’s influence over Mr. Pitt――Mr. Pitt averse to ceremony――Mr.
Pitt and his sister Harriet――His dislike to the Bourbons――Lady
Hester’s activity at Walmer――Lord Chatham’s indolence――Mr. Pitt’s
opinion of Sir Arthur Wellesley 45
CHAPTER III.
Duchess of Gontaut――Duc de Berry――Anecdotes of Lord H.――Sir Gore
Ouseley――Prince of Wales――The other princes――The Queen’s
severity――Men and women of George the Third’s time――The Herveys――
Lady Liverpool’s high breeding――Lady Hester’s declining health 76
CHAPTER IV.
Conscription in Syria――Inviolability of consular houses――Panic
and flight of the people of Sayda――Protection afforded by Lady
Hester――Story of a boy――Mustafa the barber――Cruelty to mothers
of Conscripts――Conscription in the villages――Lady Hester’s
dream――Inhabitants of Sayda mulcted――Lady Hester’s opinion
of negresses――Severity necessary in Turkey――Case of Monsieur
Danna――Captain Y.――Mustafa Pasha’s cruelty 101
CHAPTER V.
Rainy season――Lady Hester’s despondency――Her Turkish costume――
Turkish servants――Terror inspired by Lady Hester in her servants――
Visit of Messieurs Poujolat and Boutés――Lady Hester’s inability to
entertain strangers――Her dejected spirits and bad health 127
CHAPTER VI.
The Delphic priestess――Abdallah Pasha’s ingratitude――His
cowardice―― Lady Hester’s spies――Her emaciation――History of
General Loustaunau 154
CHAPTER VII.
Lady Hester like the first Lord Chatham――Her recollections of
Chevening――Her definition of insults――Her deliberate affronts――Her
warlike propensities――Earl C―――― Marquis of Abercorn――Logmagi――
Osman Chaôosh――Letter from Colonel Campbell――George the Third’s
flattering compliment to Lady Hester――Her Majesty Queen Victoria――
Lord M.――Prophecy of a _welly_――Lady Hester’s poignant affliction――
Her intractability――Her noble and disinterested benevolence 181
CHAPTER VIII.
Lady Hester’s system of astrology――Sympathies and antipathies――
People’s _nijems_ or stars――Mesmerism explained――Lord Suffolk――
Lady Hester’s own star――Letter to the Queen――Letter to Mr. Speaker
Abercrombie――Messieurs Beck and Moore――Letter to Colonel
Campbell――The Ides of March――Lady Hester’s reflections on the
Queen’s conduct to her――Letter to Sir Edward Sugden――What peers
are――Junius’s Letters――Spies employed by the first Lord Chatham――
Mr. Pitt’s opinion of the Duke of Wellington――Lady Hester’s letter
to his Grace, &c. 223
CHAPTER IX.
Lady Hester in an alcove in her garden――Lucky days observed by
her――Consuls’ rights――Mischief caused by Sir F. B.’s neglect in
answering Lady Hester’s Letters――Rashes common in Syria――Visit of
an unknown Englishman――Story of Hanah Messâad――Lady Hester’s love
of truth――Report of her death――Michael Tutungi――Visit from the
Chevalier Guys――His reception at Dayr el Mkhallas――Punishment of
the shepherd, Câasem――Holyday of the Korbàn Byràm――Fatôom’s
_accouchement_――Lady Hester’s aversion to consular interference――
Evenings at Jôon――Old Pierre――Saady 276
CHAPTER X.
Visit of Mr. Vesey Forster and Mr. Knox――Lady S. N.’s pension and
Mr. H.――Lady Hester undeservedly censured by English travellers――
Mr. Anson and Mr. Strangways――Mr. B. and Mr. C.――Captain
Pechell――Captain Yorke――Colonel Howard Vyse――Lord B. 314
MEMOIRS
OF
LADY HESTER STANHOPE.
CHAPTER I.
Lady Hester Stanhope’s descent――The Author’s first introduction to
her――Her reasons for quitting England――Anecdotes of her childhood and
womanhood――Her motives for going to live with Mr. Pitt――Mr. Pitt’s
opinion of Tom Paine――Lady Hester noticed by George III.――Anecdote of
Sir A. H.――Of Lord G.――Of Lord A.――Impertinent questioners――Anecdote
of the Marquis * * *――Mr. Pitt’s confidence in Lady Hester’s
discretion――and in her devotion to him――His opinion of her cleverness,
and of her military and diplomatic abilities――Her tirade against
doctors――Her reflections on prudery――Anecdote of General Moore――Of the
Duc de Blacas, &c.
It probably will be known to most readers that Lady Hester Stanhope
was the daughter of Charles Earl of Stanhope by Hester, his first
wife, sister to Mr. William Pitt, and daughter of the first Earl of
Chatham. He had issue by this first wife three daughters――Hester,
Griselda, and Lucy. The earl married a second wife, by whom he had
three sons: the present earl; Charles, killed at Corunna; and James,
who died at Caen Wood, the villa of his father-in-law, the Earl of
Mansfield.
I became acquainted with Lady Hester Stanhope by accident. The chance
that introduced me to her was as follows:――I was going to Oxford to
take my degree; and, having missed the coach at the inn, I was obliged
to hurry after it on foot, for the want of a hackney-coach, as far as
Oxford-road turnpike, where I overtook it, and mounted the box in a
violent perspiration. The day was bitterly cold, and, before night, I
found myself attacked with a very severe catarrh. The merriment of a
college life left me little time to pay attention to it; and, after
about fifteen days, I returned with a troublesome cough, to London,
where I took to my bed.
Mr. H. Cline, jun., (the son of the celebrated surgeon) being my
friend, and hearing of my indisposition, came to inquire after my
health very frequently. One day, sitting by my bedside, he asked me if
I should like to go abroad. I told him it had been the earliest wish
of my life. He said, Lady Hester Stanhope (the niece of Mr. Pitt) had
applied to his father for a doctor, and that, if I liked, he would
propose me, giving me to understand from his father that, although the
salary would be small, I should, if my services proved agreeable to
Lady Hester, be ultimately provided for. I thanked him, and said, that
to travel with such a distinguished woman would please me exceedingly.
The following day he intimated that his father had already spoken
about me, and that her ladyship would see me. In about four days I was
introduced to her, and she closed with me immediately, inviting me to
dine with her that evening. Afterwards, I saw her several times, and
subsequently joined her at Portsmouth, whence, after waiting a
fortnight, we sailed in the Jason, the Hon. Captain King, for
Gibraltar.
The reasons which Lady Hester assigned for leaving England were
grounded chiefly on the narrowness of her income. Mr. Pitt’s written
request, on his deathbed, that she might have £1500 a year, had been
complied with only in part, owing to the ill offices of certain
persons at that time in the privy-council, and she received clear,
after deductions for the property-tax were made, no more that
£1200. At first, after Mr. Pitt’s death, she established herself
in Montague Square, with her two brothers, and she there continued
to see much company. “But,” she would say, “a poor gentlewoman,
doctor, is the worst thing in the world. Not being able to keep
a carriage, how was I to go out? If I used a hackney-coach, some
spiteful person would be sure to mention it:――‘Who do you think I saw
yesterday in a hackney-coach? I wonder where she could be driving
alone down those narrow streets?’ If I walked with a footman behind
me, there are so many women of the town now who flaunt about with a
smart footman, that I ran the hazard of being taken for one of them;
and, if I went alone, either there would be some good-natured friend
who would hint that Lady Hester did not walk out alone for nothing; or
else I should be met in the street by some gentleman of my
acquaintance, who would say, ‘God bless me, Lady Hester! where are you
going alone?――do let me accompany you:’ and then it would be said,
‘Did you see Lady Hester crossing Hanover Square with such a one? he
looked monstrous foolish: I wonder where they had been.’ So that, from
one thing to another, I was obliged to stop at home entirely: and this
it was that hurt my health so much, until Lord Temple, at last,
remarked it. For he said to me one day, ‘How comes it that a person
like you, who used to be always on horseback, never rides
out?’――‘Because I have no horse.’――‘Oh! if that is all, you shall have
one to-morrow.’――‘Thank you, my lord; but, if I have a horse, I must
have two; and, if I have two, I must have a groom; and, as I do not
choose to borrow, if you please, we will say no more about it.’――‘Oh!
but I will send my horses, and come and ride out with you every day.’
However, I told him no: for how could a man who goes to the House
every day, and attends committees in a morning, be able to be riding
every day with me? And I know what it is to lend and borrow horses and
carriages. When I used to desire my carriage to go and fetch any
friend, my coachman was sure to say, ‘My lady, the horses want
shoeing;’ or the footman would come in with a long face, ‘My lady,
John would like to go and see his sister to-day, if you please:’ there
was always some excuse. All this considered, I made up my mind to
remain at home.”
For some time did Lady Hester remain in Montague Square: but her
brother and General Moore, having fallen at the battle of Corunna, I
believe she grew entirely disgusted with London; and, breaking up her
little establishment, she went down into Wales, and resided in a small
cottage at Builth, somewhere near Brecon, in a room not more than a
dozen feet square. Here she amused herself in curing the poor, in her
dairy, and in other rustic occupations: until, not finding herself so
far removed from her English acquaintances but that they were always
coming across her and breaking-in upon her solitude, she resolved on
going abroad, up the Mediterranean.
Arrived at Gibraltar, she was lodged at the governor’s, in the
convent, where she remained some time; and then embarked for Malta in
the Cerberus, Captain Whitby, who afterwards distinguished himself in
Captain Hoste’s victory up the Adriatic. At Malta, she lived, at
first, in the house of Mr. Fernandez: afterwards, General Oakes
offered Lady Hester the palace of St. Antonio, where we resided during
the remainder of her stay.
We departed for Zante in the month of June or July, 1810. From
Zante, we passed over to Patras, where she bade adieu to English
customs for the rest of our pilgrimage. Traversing Greece, we visited
Constantinople, and, from Constantinople, sailed for Egypt. At Rhodes
we were shipwrecked, and I there lost my journals, among which were
many curious anecdotes that would have thrown much light on her
ladyship’s life. I shall relate what I have since gathered, without
observing any order, but always, as far as I could recollect, using her
very expressions; and, in many instances, there will be found whole
conversations, where her manner would be recognized by those who were
acquainted with it. I shall sometimes preface them with observations of
my own.
Speaking of her sisters, Lady Hester would say: “My sister Lucy was
prettier than I was, and Griselda more clever; but I had, from
childhood, a cheerfulness and sense of feeling that always made me a
favourite with my father. She exemplified this by an anecdote of the
second Lady Stanhope, her stepmother, referring to the time when her
father, in one of his republican fits, put down his carriages and
horses.
“Poor Lady Stanhope,” she said, “was quite unhappy about it; but,
when the whole family was looking glum and sulky, I thought of a
way to set all right again. I got myself a pair of stilts, and out
I stumped down a dirty lane, where my father, who was always spying
about through his glass, could see me. So, when I came home, he said
to me, ‘Why, little girl, what have you been about? Where was it I
saw you going upon a pair of――the devil knows what?――eh, girl?’――‘Oh!
papa, I thought, as you had laid down your horses, I would take a walk
through the mud on stilts; for you know, papa, I don’t mind mud or
anything――’tis poor Lady Stanhope who feels these things; for she has
always been accustomed to her carriage, and her health is not very
good.’――‘What’s that you say, little girl?’ said my father, turning
his eyes away from me; and, after a pause, ‘Well, little girl, what
would you say if I bought a carriage again for Lady Stanhope?’――‘Why,
papa, I would say it was very kind of you.’――‘Well, well,’ he
observed, ‘we will see; but, damn it! no armorial bearings.’ So,
some time afterwards, down came a new carriage and new horses
from London; and thus, by a little innocent frolic, I made all parties
happy again?”[1]
Lady Hester continued. “Lucy’s disposition was sweet, and her temper
excellent: she was like a Madonna. Griselda was otherwise, and always
for making her authority felt. But I, even when I was only a girl,
obtained and exercised, I can’t tell how, a sort of command over them.
They never came to me, when I was in my room, without sending first to
know whether I would see them.
“Mr. Pitt never liked Griselda; and, when he found she was jealous of
me, he disliked her still more. She stood no better in the opinion of
my father, who bore with Lucy――ah! just in this way――he would say to
her, to get rid of her, ‘Now papa is going to study, so you may go to
your room:’ then, when the door was shut, he would turn to me, ‘Now, we
must talk a little philosophy;’ and then, with his two legs stuck
upon the sides of the grate, he would begin――‘Well, well,’ he would
cry, after I had talked a little, ‘that is not bad reasoning, but the
basis is bad.’
“My father always checked any propensity to finery in dress. If any of
us happened to look better than usual in a particular hat or frock, he
was sure to have it put away the next day, and to have something coarse
substituted in its place.
“When I was young, I was always the first to promote my sister’s
enjoyments. Whether in dancing, or in riding on horseback, or at a
feast, or in anything that was to make them happy, I always had
something to do or propose that increased their pleasure. In like
manner, afterwards, in guiding them in politics, in giving them advice
for their conduct in private life, in forwarding them in the world, I
was a means of much good to them. It was always Hester, and Hester,
and Hester; in short, I appeared to be the favourite of them all; and
yet now, see how they treat me!
“I was always, as I am now, full of activity, from my infancy. At two
years old, I made a little hat. You know there was a kind of straw hat
with the crown taken out, and in its stead a piece of satin was put
in, all puffed up. Well! I made myself a hat like that; and it was
thought such a thing for a child of two years old to do, that my
grandpapa had a little paper box made for it, and had it ticketed
with the day of the month and my age.
“Just before the French revolution broke out, the ambassador from
Paris to the English Court was the Comte d’Adhémar. That nobleman had
some influence on my fate as far as regarded my wish to go abroad,
which, however, I was not able to gratify until many years afterwards.
I was but seven or eight years old when I saw him; and when he came
by invitation to pay a visit to my papa at Chevening, there was such
a fuss with the fine footmen with feathers in their hats, and the
count’s bows and French manners, and I know not what, that, a short
time afterwards, when I was sent to Hastings with the governess and
my sisters, nothing would satisfy me but I must go and see what sort
of a place France was. So I got into a boat one day unobserved, that
was floating close to the beach, let loose the rope myself, and off I
went. Yes, doctor, I literally pushed a boat off, and meant to go, as I
thought, to France. Did you ever hear of such a mad scheme?
“But I was tired of all those around me, who, to all my questions,
invariably answered, ‘My dear, that is not proper for you to
know,――or, you must not talk about such things until you get older;
and the like. So I held my tongue, but I made up for it, by treasuring
up everything I heard and saw. Isn’t it extraordinary that I should
have such a memory? I can recall every circumstance that ever occurred
to me during my life――everything worth retaining, that I wished to
remember. I could tell what people said, how they sat, the colour of
their hair, of their eyes, and all about them, at any time, for the
last forty years and more. At Hastings, for example, I can tell the
name of the two smugglers, Tate and Everett, who attended at the
bathing-machine, and the name of the apothecary, Dr. Satterly,
although I have never heard a word about those persons from that day
to this.
“How well I recollect what I was made to suffer when I was young! and
that’s the reason why I have sworn eternal warfare against Swiss and
French governesses. Nature forms us in a certain manner, both inwardly
and outwardly, and it is in vain to attempt to alter it. One governess
at Chevening had our backs pinched in by boards, that were drawn tight
with all the force the maid could use; and, as for me, they would have
squeezed me to the size of a puny miss――a thing impossible! My instep,
by nature so high, that a little kitten could walk under the sole of
my foot, they used to bend down in order to flatten it, although that
is one of the things that shows my high breeding.
“Nature, doctor, makes us one way, and man is always trying to fashion
us another. Why, there was Mahon, when he was eight or nine years old,
that never could be taught to understand how two and two make four.
If he was asked, he would say, four and four make three, or ten, or
something: he was shown with money, and with beans, and in every
possible way, but all to no purpose. The fact was, that that
particular faculty was not yet developed: but now, there is no better
calculator anywhere. The most difficult sums he will do on his
fingers; and he is besides a very great mathematician. There was a son
of Lord Darnley’s, a little boy, who was only big enough to lie under
the table, or play on the sofa, and yet he could make calculations
with I don’t know how many figures――things that they have to do in the
Treasury. Now, if that boy had gone on in the same way, he would by
this time have been Chancellor of the Exchequer. But I hear nothing of
him, and I don’t know what has become of him; so I suppose he has not
turned out anything extraordinary.
“But nature was entirely out of the question with us: we were left to
the governesses. Lady Stanhope got up at ten o’clock, went out, and
then returned to be dressed, if in London, by the hair-dresser; and
there were only two in London, both of them Frenchmen, who could dress
her. Then she went out to dinner, and from dinner to the Opera, and
from the Opera to parties, seldom returning until just before
daylight. Lord Stanhope was engaged in his philosophical pursuits: and
thus we children saw neither the one nor the other. Lucy used to say
that, if she had met her step-mother in the streets, she should not
have known her. Why, my father once followed to our own door in London
a woman who happened to drop her glove, which he picked up. It was our
governess; but, as he had never seen her in the house, he did not know
her in the street.
“He slept with twelve blankets on his bed, with no nightcap, and his
window open: how you would have laughed had you seen him! He used to
get out of bed, and put on a thin dressing-gown, with a pair of silk
breeches that he had worn overnight, with slippers, and no stockings:
and then he would sit in a part of the room which had no carpet, and
take his tea with a bit of brown bread.
“He married two wives; the first a Pitt, the second a Grenville; so
that I am in two ways related to the Grenvilles.”
Lady Hester continued: “As I grew up, Lady Stanhope used to chuck me
under the chin, and cry, ‘Why the kurl (girl) is like a soap ball; one
can’t pinch her cheek:’ and I really used to think there was something
very strange about me. Soon after Horne Tooke took notice of me, and
pronounced flatteringly on my talents. And when Mr. Pitt followed, and
kindly said, ‘Why I believe there is nothing to find fault with,
either in her looks or her understanding,’ I began to know myself. Mr.
Elliott, (who married Miss Pitt) used to say to me, dear man! in his
_bontonné_ manner, ‘You must not be surprised, my love, if you make a
great noise in the world.’
“Sir Sydney Smith said of me, after he had known me fifteen years, and
when my looks were much changed by illness, ‘When I see you now, I
recall to my recollection what you were when you first _came out_. You
entered the room in your pale shirt, exciting our admiration by your
magnificent and majestic figure. The roses and lilies were blended in
your face, and the ineffable smiles of your countenance diffused
happiness around you.’
“The Duke of Cumberland used to say to me――‘You and Amelia (Princess
Amelia) are two of the most spanking wenches I ever saw; but, if
(alluding to my ill-health) you go on in this way, I do not know what
the devil you will make of it.’”
When mentioning this, her ladyship added: “Doctor, at twenty, my
complexion was like alabaster; and, at five paces’ distance, the
sharpest eye could not discover my pearl necklace from my skin: my
lips were of such a beautiful carnation, that, without vanity, I can
assure you very few women had the like. A dark blue shade under the
eyes, and the blue veins that were observable through the transparent
skin, heightened the brilliancy of my features. Nor were the roses
wanting in my cheeks; and to all this was added a permanency in my
looks that fatigue of no sort could impair.”
I am now writing when disappointments and sickness have undermined her
health, and when she has reached her 54th year. Her complexion had now
assumed a yellow tint, but her hands were still exceedingly fair, and
she had the very common though pardonable fault of often contriving to
show them. There were moments when her countenance had still something
very beautiful about it. Her mouth manifested an extraordinary degree
of sweetness, and her eyes much mildness.
She never would have her likeness taken, when in the bloom of her
beauty, and it is not probable it can be ever done now. There is a
sort of resemblance between her and Mr. Pitt, (if I may judge from his
portraits.) She has told me also, that she was like the late Duchess
of Cumberland. Her head, seen in front, presented a perfect oval, of
which the eyes would cover a line drawn through the centre. Her
eyebrows were arched and fine, I mean slender; her eyes blue,
approaching to gray; her nose, somewhat large, and the distance from
the mouth to the chin rather too long. Her cheeks had a remarkably
fine contour, as they rounded off towards the neck; so that Mr.
Brummell, as has been related, once said to her in a party, “For God’s
sake, do take off those earrings, and let us see what is beneath
them.” Her figure was tall (I think not far from six feet), rather
largely proportioned, and was once very plump, as I have heard her
say. Her mien was majestic; her address eminently graceful; in her
conversation, when she pleased, she was enchanting; when she meant it,
dignified; at all times, eloquent. She was excellent at mimickry, and
upon all ranks of life. She had more wit and repartee, perhaps, than
falls to the lot of most women. Her knowledge of human nature was most
profound, and she could turn that knowledge to account to its utmost
extent, and in the minutest trifles. She was courageous, morally and
physically so; undaunted, and proud as Lucifer.
She never read in any book more than a few pages, and there were few
works that she praised when she looked them over. History she
despised, considering it all a farce: because, she said, she had seen
so many histories of her time, which she found to be lies from
beginning to end, that she could not believe in one. She had a great
facility of expression, and, on some occasions, introduced old
proverbs with wonderful appositeness. Conversation never flagged in
her company. But to return to Lady Hester’s own account of herself.
“I can recollect, when I was ten or twelve years old, going to
Hastings’s trial. My garter, somehow, came off, and was picked up by
Lord Grey, then a young man. At this hour, as if it were before me in
a picture, I can see his handsome but very pale face, his broad
forehead; his corbeau coat, with cut-steel buttons; his white satin
waistcoat and breeches, and the buckles in his shoes. He saw from whom
the garter fell, but, observing my confusion, did not wish to increase
it, and with infinite delicacy gave the garter to the person who sat
there to serve tea and coffee.
“The first person I ever danced with was Sir Gilbert Heathcote.
“When I was young, I was never what you call handsome, but brilliant.
My teeth were brilliant, my complexion brilliant, my language――ah!
there it was――something striking and original, that caught everybody’s
attention. I remember, when I was living with Mr. Pitt, that, one
morning after a party, he said to me, ‘Really, Hester, Lord Hertford’
(the father of the late lord, and a man of high pretensions for his
courtly manners) ‘paid you so many compliments about your looks last
night, that you might well be proud of them.’――‘Not at all,’ answered
I: ‘he is deceived, if he thinks I am handsome, for I know I am not.
If you were to take every feature in my face, and put them, one by
one, on the table, there is not a single one would bear examination.
The only thing is that, put together and lighted up, they look well
enough. It is homogeneous ugliness, and nothing more.’
“Mr. Pitt used to say to me, ‘Hester, what sort of a being are you? We
shall see, some day, wings spring out of your shoulders; for there are
moments when you hardly seem to walk the earth.’ There was a man who
had known me well for fifteen years, and he told me, one day, that he
had tried a long time to make me out, but he did not know whether I
was a devil or an angel. There have been men who have been intimate
with me, and to whom, in point of passion, I was no more than that
milk-jug” (pointing to one on the table); “and there have been others
who would go through fire for me. But all this depends on the star of
a person.
“Mr. Pitt declared that it was impossible for him to say whether I was
most happy in the vortex of pleasure, in absolute solitude, or in the
midst of politics; for he had seen me in all three; and, with all his
penetration, he did not know where I seemed most at home. Bouverie
used to say to me, when I lived at Chevening, ‘I know you like this
kind of life; it seems to suit you.’ And so it did: but why did I quit
home? Because of my brothers and sisters, and for my father’s sake. I
foresaw that my sisters would be reduced to poverty if I did not
assist them; and, though people said to me, ‘Let their husbands get on
by themselves; they are capable of making their own way,’ I saw they
could not, and I set about providing for them. As for my father, he
thought that, in joining those democrats, he always kept aloof from
treason. But he did not know how many desperate characters there were,
who, like C――――, for example, only waited for a revolution, and were
always plotting mischief. I thought, therefore, it was better to be
where I should have Mr. Pitt by my side to help me, should he get into
great difficulty. Why, they almost took Joyce out of bed in my
father’s house; and when my father went to town, there were those who
watched him; and the mob attacked his house, so that he was obliged to
make his escape by the leads, and slip out the back way. Joyce was
getting up in the morning, and was just blowing his nose, as people do
the moment before they come down to breakfast, when a single knock
came to the door, and in bolted two officers with a warrant, and took
him off without even my father’s knowledge. Then, were not Lord
Thanet, Ferguson, and some more of them thrown into gaol? and I said,
‘If my father has not a prop somewhere, he will share the same fate;’
and this was one of the reasons why I went to live with Mr. Pitt. Mr.
Pitt used to say that Tom Paine was quite in the right; but then he
would add, ‘What am I to do? If the country is overrun with all these
men, full of vice and folly, I cannot exterminate them. It would be
very well, to be sure, if everybody had sense enough to act as they
ought; but, as things are, if I were to encourage Tom Paine’s
opinions, we should have a bloody revolution; and, after all, matters
would return pretty much as they were.’ But I always asked, ‘What do
these men want? They will destroy what we have got, without giving us
anything else in its place. Let them give us something good before
they rob us of what we have. As for systems of equality, everybody is
not a Tom Paine. Tom Paine was a clever man, and not one of your
hugger-mugger people, who have one day one set of ideas, and another
set the next, and never know what they mean.’
“I am an aristocrat, and I make a boast of it. We shall see what will
come of people’s conundrums about equality. I hate a pack of dirty
Jacobins, that only want to get people out of a good place to get into
it themselves. Horne Tooke always liked me, with all my aristocratical
principles, because he said he knew what I meant.
“No, doctor, Bouverie was right: I liked the country. At the back of
the inn, on Sevenoaks common, stood a house, which, for a residence
for myself, I should prefer to any one I have ever yet seen. It was a
perfectly elegant, light, and commodious building, with an oval
drawing-room, and two boudoirs in the corners, with a window to each
on the conservatory. When I visited there, it was inhabited by three
old maids, one of whom was my friend. What good ale and nice luncheons
I have had there many a time! What good cheese, what excellent apples
and pears, and what rounds of boiled beef?”
The next day these personal recollections were renewed.
“I remember, when Colonel Shadwell commanded the district, that, one
day, in a pelting shower of rain, he was riding up Madamscourt Hill,
as I was crossing at the bottom, going home towards Chevening with my
handsome groom, Tom, a boy who was the natural son of a baronet. I saw
Colonel Shadwell’s groom’s horse about a couple of hundred yards from
me, and, struck with its beauty, I turned up the hill, resolving to
pass them, and get a look at it. I accordingly quickened my pace, and,
in going by, gave a good look at the horse, then at the groom, then at
the master, who was on a sorry nag. The colonel eyed me as I passed;
and I, taking advantage of a low part in the hedge, put my horse to
it, leaped over, and disappeared in an instant. The colonel found out
who I was, and afterwards made such a fuss at the mess about my
equestrian powers, that nothing could be like it. I was the toast
there every day.
“Nobody ever saw much of me until Lord Romney’s review. I was obliged
to play a trick on my father to get there. I pretended, the day
before, that I wanted to pay a visit to the Miss Crumps” (or some such
name), “and then went from their house to Lord Romney’s. Though all
the gentry of Kent were there, my father never knew, or was supposed
not to have known, that I had been there. The king took great notice
of me. I dined with him――that is, what was called dining with him, but
at an adjoining table. Lord and Lady Romney served the king and queen,
and gentlemen waited on us: Upton changed my plate, and he did it very
well. Doctor, dining with royalty, as Lord Melbourne does now, was not
so common formerly; I never dined with the king but twice――once at
Lord Romney’s at an adjoining table, and once afterwards at his own
table: oh! what wry faces there were among some of the courtiers! Mr.
Pitt was very much pleased at the reception I met with: the king took
great notice of me, and, I believe, always after liked me personally.
Whenever I was talking to the dukes, he was sure to come towards us.
‘Where is she?’ he would cry; ‘where is she? I hear them laugh, and
where they are laughing I must go too:’ then, as he came nearer, he
would observe, ‘if you have anything to finish, I won’t come yet――I’ll
come in a quarter of an hour.’ When he was going away from Lord
Romney’s, he wanted to put me bodkin between himself and the queen;
and when the queen had got into the carriage, he said to her, ‘My
dear, Lady Hester is going to ride bodkin with us; I am going to take
her away from Democracy Hall:’ but the old queen observed, in rather a
prim manner, that I ‘had not got my maid with me, and that it would be
inconvenient for me to go at such a short notice:’ so I remained.
“It was at that review that I was talking to some officers, and
something led to my saying, ‘I can’t bear men who are governed by
their wives, as Sir A. H*** is; a woman of sense, even if she did
govern her husband, would not let it be seen: it is odious, in my
opinion:’ and I went on in this strain, whilst poor Sir A. himself,
whom I did not know, but had only heard spoken of, was standing by all
the time. I saw a dreadful consternation in the bystanders, but I went
on. At last some one――taking commiseration on him, I suppose――said,
‘Lady Hester, will you allow me to introduce Sir A. H*** to you, who
is desirous of making your acquaintance.’ Sir A. very politely thanked
me for the advice I had given him; and I answered something about the
regard my brother had for him, and there the matter ended.
“When first I went to live with Mr. Pitt, one day he and I were taking
a walk in the park, when we were met by Lord Guildford, having Lady
―――― and Lady ――――, two old demireps, under his arm. Mr. Pitt and I
passed them, and Mr. Pitt pulled off his hat: Lord G. turned his head
away, without acknowledging his bow. The fact was, he thought Mr. Pitt
was escorting some mistress he had got. ‘Well,’ said I, ‘there goes
Falstaff with the merry wives of Windsor.’ ‘Yes,’ rejoined Mr. Pitt,
‘and I think, whatever he may take you to be, he need not be so prim,
with those two painted and patched ladies under his arm.’
“The same thing happened with Lord A.; and, when Mr. Pitt soon after
came into office, Lord A. called on Mr. Pitt, who, being busy, sent
him to me. Lord A. began with a vast variety of compliments about
ancient attachments, and his recollection, when a boy, of having
played with me: so I cut him short by telling him his memory then must
have sadly failed him the other day, when he passed me and Mr. Pitt in
his curricle with Lady ――――. After many, ‘Really, I supposed,’ and
‘Upon my honours,――Sense of propriety on account of Lady ――――, and not
knowing who I was’――I laughed heartily at him, and he went away. When
he was gone, Mr. Pitt came to me, and said, ‘I don’t often ask
questions about your visitors, but I should really like to know what
excuse Lord A. could offer for his primosity[2] to us, when he was
riding with such a Jezebel as Lady ――――.’
“Yet it might have been very natural for Mr. Pitt to do so.[3] How
many people used to come and ask me impertinent questions, in order to
get out his state secrets: but I very soon set them down. ‘What, you
are come to give me a lesson of impertinence,’ I used to say, laughing
in their faces. One day, one of them, of rather a first-rate class,
began with――‘Now, my dear Lady Hester, you know our long friendship,
and the esteem I have for you――now do just tell me, who is to go out
ambassador to Russia?’ So I was resolved to try him; and, with a very
serious air, I said, ‘Why, if I had to choose, there are only three
persons whom I think fit for the situation――Mr. Tom Grenville, Lord
Malmesbury,’ and I forget who was the third: ‘but you know,’ I added,
‘Lord Malmesbury’s health will not allow him to go to so cold a
climate, and Mr., the other, is something and something, so that he is
out of the question.’ Next morning, doctor, there appeared in ‘The
Oracle,’ a paper, observe, that Mr. Pitt never read――‘We understand
that Lord M. and Mr. T. G. are selected as the two persons best
qualified for the embassy to Russia: but, owing to his lordship’s ill
health, the choice will most likely fall on Mr. T. G.’
“I was highly amused the following days, to hear the congratulations
that were paid to Mr. Grenville: but, when the real choice came to be
known, which was neither one nor the other, oh! how black the
inquisitive friend of mine looked; and what reproaches he made me for
having, as he called it, deceived him! But I did not deceive him: I
only told him what was true, that, if I had the choice, I should
choose such and such persons.
“There are, necessarily, hundreds of reasons for ministers’ actions,
that people in general know nothing about. When the Marquis ―――― was
sent to India it was on condition that he did not take ―――― ―――― with
him: for Mr. Pitt said, ‘It is all very well if he chooses to go
alone, but he shan’t take ―――― ―――― with him; for――who knows?――she may
be, all the time, carrying on intrigues with the French government,
and that would not suit my purpose.’
“There might be some apparent levity in my manner, both as regarded
affairs of the cabinet and my own; but I always knew what I was doing.
When Mr. Pitt was reproached for allowing me such unreserved liberty
of action in state matters and in affairs where his friends advised
him to question me on the motives of my conduct, he always
answered――‘I let her do as she pleases; for, if she were resolved to
cheat the devil, she could do it.’ And so I could, doctor; and that is
the reason why thick-headed people, who could never dive into the
motives of what I did, have often misinterpreted my conduct, when it
has proceeded from the purest intentions. And, in the same way, when
some persons said to Lady Suffolk, ‘Look at Lady Hester, talking and
riding with Bouverie and the Prince’s friends; she must mind what she
is about’――Lady Suffolk remarked, ‘There is nothing to fear in that
quarter; she never will let any body do a bit more than she intends:
what she does is with _connoissance de cause_.’ And she was right;
nobody could ever accuse me of folly: even those actions which might
seem folly to a common observer, were wisdom. Everything with me,
through life, has been premeditatedly done.
“Mr. Pitt paid me the greatest compliment I ever received from any
living being. He was speaking of C******, and lamenting he was so
false, and so little to be trusted; and I said, ‘But perhaps he is
only so in appearance, and is sacrificing ostensibly his own opinions,
in order to support your reputation?’――‘I have lived,’ replied Mr.
Pitt, ‘twenty-five years in the midst of men of all sorts, and I never
yet found but one human being capable of such a sacrifice.’――‘Who can
that be?’ said I. ‘Is it the Duke of Richmond? is it such a one?’ and
I named two others, when he interrupted me――‘No,――it is _you_.’
“I was not insensible to praise from such a man; and when, before
Horne Tooke and some other clever people, he told me I was fit to sit
between Augustus and Mæcenas, I suppose I must believe it. And he did
not think so lightly of my lectures as you do: for one day he said to
me, ‘We are going to establish a new hospital, and you, Hester, are to
have the management of it: it is to be an hospital for the diseases of
the mind; for nobody knows so well as you how to cure them.’ I should
never have done if I were to repeat the many attestations of his good
opinion of me: but it was no merit of mine if I deserved it: I was
born so. There was a man one day at table with Mr. Pitt, an old friend
of his――Canning told me the story――who, speaking of me, observed that
he supposed I should soon marry, and, after some conversation on the
subject, concluded by saying, ‘I suppose she waits till she can get a
man as clever as herself.’ ‘Then,’ answered Mr. Pitt, ‘she will never
marry at all.’
“In like manner, in the troublesome times of his political career, Mr.
Pitt would say, ‘I have plenty of good diplomatists, but they are none
of them military men: and I have plenty of good officers, but not one
of them is worth sixpence in the cabinet. If you were a man, Hester, I
would send you on the Continent with 60,000 men, and give you _carte
blanche_; and I am sure that not one of my plans would fail, and not
one soldier would go with his shoes unblacked; meaning, that my
attention would embrace every duty that belongs to a general and a
corporal――and so it would, doctor.”
After musing a little while, Lady Hester Stanhope went on. “Did you
ever read the life of General Moore that I have seen advertised,
written by his brother? I wonder which brother it was. If it was the
surgeon, he was hard-headed, with great knowledge of men, but dry,
and with nothing pleasing about him. His wife was a charming woman,
brought up by some great person, and with very good manners.
“As for tutors, and doctors, and such people, if, now-a-days, mylords
and myladies walk arm-in-arm with them, they did not do so in my time.
I recollect an old dowager, to whom I used sometimes to be taken to
spend the morning. She was left with a large jointure, and a fine
house for the time being, and used to invite the boys and the girls of
my age, I mean the age I was then, with their tutors and governesses,
to come and see her. ‘How do you do, Dr. Mackenzie? Lord John, I see,
is all the better for his medicine: the duchess is happy in having
found a man of such excellent talents, which are almost too great to
be confined to the sphere of one family.’――‘Such is the nature of our
compact, my Lady, nor could I on any account violate the regulations
which so good a family has imposed upon me.’――‘It’s very cold, Dr.
Mackenzie: I think I increased my rheumatic pains at the Opera on
Saturday night.’――‘Did you ever try Dover’s Powders, my lady?’ He does
not, you see, tell her to use Dover’s Powders; he only says, did you
ever try them? ‘Lord John――Lord John, you must take care, and not eat
too much of that strawberry preserve.’
“‘How do you do, Mr. K.?――how do you do, Lord Henry? I hope the
marchioness is well? She looked divinely last night. Did you see her
when she was dressed, Mr. K.?’――‘You will pardon me, my lady,’ answers
the tutor, ‘I did indeed see her; but it would be presumptuous in me
to speak of such matters. I happened to take her a map,’ (mind,
doctor, he does not say a map of what) ‘and, certainly, I did cast my
eyes on her dress, which was, no doubt, in the best taste, as
everything the Marchioness does is.’ Observe, here is no mention of
her looks or person. Doctors and tutors never presumed formerly to
talk about the complexion, and skin, and beauty, of those in whose
families they lived or found practice. Why, haven’t I told you, over
and over again, how Dr. W―――― lost his practice from having said that
a patient of his, who died, was one of the most beautiful corpses he
had ever seen, and that he had stood contemplating her for a quarter
of an hour: she was a person of rank, and it ruined him. Even his son,
who was a doctor too, and had nothing to do with it, never could get
on afterwards.
“Then would come in some young lady with her governess, and then
another; and the old dowager would take us all off to some show, and
make the person who exhibited it stare again with the number of young
nobility she brought with her. From the exhibition, which was some
monster, or some giant, or some something, she would take us to eat
ices, and then we were all sent home, with the tutors and governesses
in a stew, lest we should be too late for a master, or for a God knows
what.
“I have known many apothecaries cleverer than doctors themselves.
There was Chilvers, and Hewson, and half-a-dozen names that I forget:
and there was an apothecary at Bath that Mr. Pitt thought more of than
of his physician. Why, I have seen Sir H―――― obliged to give way to an
apothecary in a very high family. ‘We will just call him in, and see
what he says:’ and the moment he had written his prescription and was
gone out of the house, the family would consult the apothecary, who
perhaps knew twice as much of the constitution of the patient. ‘You
know, my lord, it is not the liver that is affected, whatever Sir
H―――― pretends to think: it is the spleen; for, did not we try the
very same medicine that he has prescribed for above a week? and it did
your lordship no good. You may just as well, and better, throw his
draught away:’ and sure enough it was done. Sir Richard Jebb the same.
“Do you think,” continued she, “that the first physician in London is
on terms of intimacy with the mylords he prescribes for? he
prescribes, takes his guinea, and is off: or, if he is asked to sit
down a little, it is only to pick his brains about whether somebody is
likely to live or not: but I am not, and never was, so mean: I always
liked people should know their relative situations. Ah! Dr. Turton, or
some such man as that, would be perhaps asked now and then to dinner,
or to take a walk round the grounds. A doctor’s business is to examine
the _grandes affaires_, talk to the nurse, and see that his blister
has been well dressed, and not to talk politics, say such a woman is
handsome, and chatter about what does not concern him.”
Whilst Lady Hester was going on with her strictures on the poor
doctors, a favourite theme with her, I produced from the back of a
cupboard a miniature print of General Moore, which had been lying at
Abra, neglected for some years. She took it from my hand, and, looking
at it a little time, she observed that it was an excellent likeness of
what he was when he became a weather-beaten soldier: “Before that,”
said she, “those cheeks were filled out and ruddy, like Mr. Close’s at
Malta.”
After a pause, Lady Hester Stanhope continued: “Poor Charles! My
brother Charles one day was disputing with James about his handsome
Colonel, and James, on his side, was talking of somebody’s leg being
handsome, saying he was right, for it had been modelled, and nobody’s
could be equal to it; when Charles turned to me, and asked with great
earnestness if I did not think General Moore was the better made man
of the two, I answered, ‘He is certainly very handsome.’――‘Oh! but,’
said Charles, ‘Hester, if you were only to see him when he is bathing,
his body is as perfect as his face.’ I never even smiled, although
inwardly I could not help smiling at his naïveté.
“I consider it a mark of vulgarity and of the association of bad ideas
in people’s minds when they make a handle of such equivoques in an
ill-natured way, as you recollect Mr. T. did when he was at
Alexandria. People of good breeding do not even smile, when, perhaps,
low persons would suppose they might show a great deal of affected
primosity. Only imagine the Duc de Blacas to be announced;――what would
my old servant, poor William Wiggins, have done? He would never have
got out the word.” Here Lady Hester set up laughing most heartily, and
then she laughed, and laughed again. I think I never saw anything make
her relax from her composure so much.
“As for what people in England say or have said about me, I don’t care
that for them,” (snapping her fingers); “and whatever vulgar-minded
people say or think of me has no more effect than if they were to spit
at the sun. It only falls on their own nose, and all the harm they do
is to themselves. They may spit at a marble wall as they may at me,
but it will not hang. They are like the flies upon an artillery-horse’s
tail――there they ride, and ride, and buz about, and then there comes a
great explosion; bom! and off they fly. I hate affectation of all
kinds. I never could bear those ridiculous women who cannot step over
a straw without expecting the man who is walking with them to offer
his hand. I always said to the men, when they offered me their hand,
‘No, no; I have got legs of my own, don’t trouble yourselves.’ Nobody
pays so little attention to what are called punctilios as I do; but if
any one piques me on my rank, and what is due to me, that’s another
thing: I can then show them who I am.”
October 16.――These conversations filled up the mornings and evenings
until the 16th of October, when I went to Mar Elias for a day. Whilst
there, a peasant arrived with an ass-load of musk grapes and
_mukseysy_ grapes that Lady Hester had sent. An ass-load in those
happy countries is but a proof of the abundance that reigns there. A
bushel-basket of oranges or lemons, a bunch of fifty or sixty bananas,
ten or twelve melons at a time, were presents of frequent occurrence.
October 18.――I returned to Jôon, and employed myself busily in fitting
up the cottage intended for our dwelling. The nearer the time
approached for bringing my family close to her premises, the more
Lady Hester seemed to regret having consented to the arrangement.
Petty jealousies, inconsistent with a great mind, were always
tormenting her. Of this a remarkable and somewhat ludicrous instance
occurred during the latter part of the month of September. Most
persons are probably aware that Mahometans have a religious horror of
bells, and, in countries under their domination, have never allowed of
their introduction even into Christian churches. It is not uncommon,
by way of contempt, to designate Europe as the land of bells. This
pious abhorrence penetrates the arcana of private life; and, in a
Turkish house, no such thing as a bell for calling the servants is
ever to be seen. A clap of the hands, repeated three times, is the
usual summons; and, as the doors are seldom shut, the sound can be
easily heard throughout every part of the dwelling.
Lady Hester, however, retained her European habits in this one
particular; and perhaps there never existed a more vehement or
constant bell-ringer. The bells hung for her use were of great size;
so that the words _Gerass el Syt_, or my lady’s bell, echoing from one
mouth to another when she rang, made the most indolent start on their
legs; until, at last, as nobody but herself in the whole territory
possessed house-bells, the peasantry and menials imagined that the use
of them was some special privilege granted to her by the Sublime
Porte on account of her exalted rank, and she probably found it to her
advantage not to disturb this very convenient supposition.
On taking up our residence at Mar Elias, there were two bells put by
in a closet, which were replaced for the use of my family, with
bell-ropes to the saloon and dining-room, none of us ever suspecting
that they could, by any human ingenuity, be considered otherwise than
as most necessary appendages to a room: but we calculated without our
host. This assumption of the dignity of bells was held to be an act of
_læsa majestas_; and the report of our proceedings was carried from
one person to another, until, at last, it reached Lady Hester’s ears,
endorsed with much wonder on the part of her maids how a doctor’s wife
could presume to set herself on an equality with a _meleky_ (queen).
Lady Hester, however, saw the absurdity of affecting any claim to
distinction in such a matter, and, therefore, vexed and mortified
although it appears she was, she never said a word to me on the
subject. But, one morning in September, when we were all assembled at
breakfast, on pulling the bell-rope no sound responded, and, examining
into the cause, we discovered that the strings had been cut by a
knife, and the bells forcibly wrenched from their places. Much
conjecture was formed as to who could have done all this mischief.
The maids were questioned; the porter, the milkman, the errand-boy,
the man-servant, every body, in short, in and about the place, but
nobody knew anything of the matter. Understanding Arabic, I soon found
there was some mystery in the business; and answers, more and more
evasive, from the porter, the harder he was pressed, led to a
presumption, amounting almost to a certainty, that her ladyship’s
grand emissary, Osman Chaôosh, had arrived late at night, armed with
pincers, hammer, etcetera, and, before daylight, had carried off the
bells to Lady Hester’s residence. I concealed my conjecture from my
family, wishing to cause no fresh source of irritation; and, having
occasion to write that day to Lady Hester, I merely added, as a
postscript, “The two bells have been stolen during the night, and I
can find no certain clue to the thief. For, although I have discovered
that Osman el Chaôosh has been here secretly, I cannot think it likely
that any one of your servants would presume to do such a thing without
your orders; nor can I believe that your ladyship would instruct any
one to do that clandestinely which a message from yourself to me would
have effected so easily.”
When I saw Lady Hester a day or two afterwards, she never alluded to
the bells, nor did I; and nothing was ever mentioned about them for
two or three months, until, one day, she, being in a good humour,
said, “Doctor, it was I who ordered Osman to take away the bells. The
people in this country must never suppose there is any one connected
with my establishment who puts himself on an equality with me, no
matter in what. The Turks know of only one Pasha in a district; the
person next to him is a nobody in his presence, not daring even to sit
down or to speak, unless told to do so. If I had let those bells hang
much longer, the sound of my own would not have been attended to. As
it is, half of my servants have become disobedient from seeing how my
will is disputed by you and your family, who have always a hundred
reasons for not doing what I wish to be done; and, as I said in my
letter to Eugenia, I can’t submit to render an account of my actions;
for, if I was not called upon to do so by Mr. Pitt, I am sure I shan’t
by other people; so let us say no more about it.” Of course, I
complied with her whims; or rather, I should say, admitted the good
sense of her observations: for I knew very well that she never did
anything without a kind or substantial motive. So, after that, the
exclamation of _Gerass el Syt_ recovered its magical effect.
October 23.――I escorted my family to their new residence, which was
called the Tamarisk Pavilion, from a tamarisk-tree that grew from the
terrace. They were all delighted with it, and happiness seemed
restored to its inmates.
October 25.――The very day on which my family came up, Lady Hester took
to her bed from illness, and never quitted it until March in the
following year. She had now laboured under pulmonary catarrh for six
or seven years, which, subsiding in the summer months, returned every
winter, with increased violence, and at this time presented some very
formidable symptoms.
November 9.――About six o’clock, just as I had dined, a servant came to
say that her ladyship wished to see me. On going into her bed-room,
which, as usual, was but faintly lighted, I ran my head against a long
packthread, which crossed from the wall, where it was tied, to her
bed, and was held in her hand. “Take care, doctor,” said she; “these
stupid beasts can’t understand what I want: but you must help me. I
want to pull out a tooth. I have tied a string to it and to the wall:
and you, with a stick or something, must give it a good blow, so as to
jerk my tooth out.”
Knowing her disposition, I said, “Very well, and that I would do as
she wished. But, if you like,” added I, “to have it extracted
_secundem artem_, I fancy I can do it for you.”――“Oh! doctor, have you
nerve enough? and, besides, I don’t like those crooked instruments:
but, however, go and get them.” I had seen in the medicine-chest a
dentist’s instrument, and, returning with it, I performed the
operation; with the result of which she was so much pleased, that she
insisted upon having another tooth out. The relief was so
instantaneous, that the second tooth was no sooner gone than she
commenced talking as usual.
The cough with which Lady Hester had been so long indisposed
occasionally assumed symptoms of water in the chest. Sudden starts
from a lying posture, with a sense of suffocation, which, for a
moment, as she described it, was like the gripe of a hand across her
throat, made me very uneasy about her. Her strong propensity to
bleeding, to which she had resorted four or five times a year for the
last twenty years, had brought on a state of complete emaciation, and
what little blood was left in her body seemed to have no circulation
in the extremities, where her veins, on a deadly white skin, showed
themselves tumefied and knotty.
It was difficult to reason with her on medical subjects, especially in
her own case. She had peculiar systems, drawn from the doctrine of
people’s stars. She designated her own cough as an asthma, and had,
for some time, doctored herself much in her own way. Such is the balmy
state of the air in Syria, that, had she trusted to its efficacy
alone, and lived with habits of life like other people, nothing
serious was to be dreaded from her illness. But she never breathed the
external air, except what she got by opening the windows, and took no
exercise but for about ten minutes or a quarter of an hour daily,
when, on quitting her bed-room to go to the saloon, she made two or
three turns in the garden to see her flowers and shrubs, which seemed
to be the greatest enjoyment she had.
She prescribed almost entirely for herself, and only left me the
duties of an apothecary; or, if she adopted any of my suggestions, it
was never at the moment, but always some days afterwards, when it
seemed to her that she was acting, not on my advice, but on the
suggestions of her own judgment. She was accustomed to say, if any
doubts were expressed of the propriety of what she was going to do, “I
suppose I am grown a fool in my old age. When princes and statesmen
have relied on my judgment, I am not going to give it up at this time
of life.”
But it was not for herself alone that she thus obstinately prescribed;
she insisted also upon doing the same for everybody else, morally as
well as medically. One of the prominent features in her character was
the inclination she had to give advice to all persons indiscriminately
about their conduct, their interests, and their complaints: and, in
this latter respect, she prescribed for everybody. I was not exempt,
and I dreaded her knowing anything about the most trifling
indisposition that affected me. Greatly addicted to empiricism, she
would propose the most strange remedies; and, fond of the use of
medicine herself, she would be out of humour if others showed an
aversion to it. There was no surer way of securing her good graces
than to put one’s self under her management for some feigned
complaint, and then to attribute the cure to her skill. Hundreds of
knaves have got presents out of her in this way. For they had but to
say that, during their illness, they had lost an employment, or spent
their ready money, no matter what――they were sure to be remunerated
tenfold above their pretended losses. Let it however be said to her
honour, that, among the number she succoured in real sickness, many
owned with gratitude the good she had done: and no surer proof of this
can be given than the universal sorrow that pervaded half the
population of Sayda, when, in the course of this her illness, she was
reported to be past recovery.
It was in compliance with this foible of hers that, when I returned to
Dar Jôon, after being laid up with a bad leg, she would insist on my
wearing a laced cloth boot, which she ordered to be made, unknown to
me; on my washing the œdematous leg in wine with laurel leaves steeped
in it; and on sitting always, when with her, with my leg resting on a
cushion placed on a stool. Her tyranny in such matters was very
irksome; for it was clothed in terms of so much feeling and regard,
and of such commiseration for one’s overrated sufferings, that, to
escape the accusation of ingratitude and bad breeding, it was
impossible to avoid entire acquiescence in every one of her kind
commands.
She was ever complaining that she could get nothing to eat, nothing to
support a great frame like hers: yet she seldom remained one half
hour, from sunrise to sunset, or from sunset to sunrise (except during
sleep), without taking nourishment of some kind. I never knew any
human being who took food so frequently: but, from that very
frequency, it might be doubted whether she had a relish for anything.
And may not this, in some measure, account for her frequent
ill-humour? for nothing sours people’s temper more than an overloaded
stomach, and nothing promotes cheerfulness more than a light one.
FOOTNOTES:
[1] In accordance with his republican principles, Lord
Stanhope caused his armorial bearings to be defaced
from his plate, carriages, &c. Nothing was spared
but the iron gate before the entrance to the house.
Even the tapestry given to the great Lord Stanhope
by the king of Spain, with which one of the rooms
in Chevening was ornamented, he caused to be taken
down and put into a corner, calling it all damned
aristocratical. He likewise sold all the Spanish
plate, which Lady Hester said weighed (if I recollect
rightly) six hundred weight.
[2] A friend has suggested that _primosity_ is not in
Johnson’s Dictionary; it was however a word of
frequent recurrence in Lady Hester’s vocabulary; and
it scarcely, I think, need be said, that it means
prudery:
“What is prudery? ’Tis a beldam,
Seen with wit and beauty seldom.”
POPE.
[3] “In 1800, Mr. Pitt, for the third time, contemplated
renewing his attempts to make peace with France, and
he offered the mission again to Lord Malmesbury.
Lord Grenville wished to appoint his brother,
Mr. Thomas Grenville; and Lord Malmesbury, whose
deafness and infirmity had much increased, readily
consented.”――_Diaries and Correspondence of the Earl
of Malmesbury._