Her Own People

The Taunton School had closed for the summer holidays. Constance

Foster and Miss Channing went down the long, elm-shaded street

together, as they generally did, because they happened to board on the

same block downtown.

Constance was the youngest teacher on the staff, and had charge of the

Primary Department. She had taught in Taunton school a year, and at

its close she was as much of a stranger in the little corps of

teachers as she had been at the beginning. The others thought her

stiff and unapproachable; she was unpopular in a negative way with all

except Miss Channing, who made it a profession to like everybody, the

more so if other people disliked them. Miss Channing was the oldest

teacher on the staff, and taught the fifth grade. She was short and

stout and jolly; nothing, not even the iciest reserve, ever daunted

Miss Channing.

"Isn't it good to think of two whole blessed months of freedom?" she

said jubilantly. "Two months to dream, to be lazy, to go where one

pleases, no exercises to correct, no reports to make, no pupils to

keep in order. To be sure, I love them every one, but I'll love them

all the more for a bit of a rest from them. Isn't it good?"

A little satirical smile crossed Constance Foster's dark, discontented

face, looking just then all the more discontented in contrast to Miss

Channing's rosy, beaming countenance.

"It's very good, if you have anywhere to go, or anybody who cares

where you go," she said bitterly. "For my own part, I'm sorry school

is closed. I'd rather go on teaching all summer."

"Heresy!" said Miss Channing. "Rank heresy! What are your vacation

plans?"

"I haven't any," said Constance wearily. "I've put off thinking about

vacation as long as I possibly could. You'll call that heresy, too,

Miss Channing."

"It's worse than heresy," said Miss Channing briskly. "It's a crying

necessity for blue pills, that's what it is. Your whole mental and

moral and physical and spiritual system must be out of kilter, my

child. No vacation plans! You _must_ have vacation plans. You must be

going _somewhere_."

"Oh, I suppose I'll hunt up a boarding place somewhere in the country,

and go there and mope until September."

"Have you no friends, Constance?"

"No--no, I haven't anybody in the world. That is why I hate vacation,

that is why I've hated to hear you and the others discussing your

vacation plans. You all have somebody to go to. It has just filled me

up with hatred of my life."

Miss Channing swallowed her honest horror at such a state of feeling.

"Constance, tell me about yourself. I've often wanted to ask you, but

I was always a little afraid to. You seem so reserved and--and, as if

you didn't want to be asked about yourself."

"I know it. I know I'm stiff and hateful, and that nobody likes me,

and that it is all my own fault. No, never mind trying to smooth it

over, Miss Channing. It's the truth, and it hurts me, but I can't help

it. I'm getting more bitter and pessimistic and unwholesome every day

of my life. Sometimes it seems as if I hated all the world because I'm

so lonely in it. I'm nobody. My mother died when I was born--and

Father--oh, I don't know. One can't say anything against one's father,

Miss Channing. But I had a hard childhood--or rather, I didn't have

any childhood at all. We were always moving about. We didn't seem to

have any friends at all. My mother might have had relatives

somewhere, but I never heard of any. I don't even know where her home

was. Father never would talk of her. He died two years ago, and since

then I've been absolutely alone."

"Oh, you poor girl," said Miss Channing softly.

"I want friends," went on Constance, seeming to take a pleasure in

open confession now that her tongue was loosed. "I've always just

longed for somebody belonging to me to love. I don't love anybody,

Miss Channing, and when a girl is in that state, she is all wrong. She

gets hard and bitter and resentful--I have, anyway. I struggled

against it at first, but it has been too much for me. It poisons

everything. There is nobody to care anything about me, whether I live

or die."

"Oh, yes, there is One," said Miss Channing gently. "God cares,

Constance."

Constance gave a disagreeable little laugh.

"That sounds like Miss Williams--she is so religious. God doesn't mean

anything to me, Miss Channing. I've just the same resentful feeling

toward him that I have for all the world, if he exists at all. There,

I've shocked you in good earnest now. You should have left me alone,

Miss Channing."

"God means nothing to you because you've never had him translated to

you through human love, Constance," said Miss Channing seriously. "No,

you haven't shocked me--at least, not in the way you mean. I'm only

terribly sorry."

"Oh, never mind me," said Constance, freezing up into her reserve

again as if she regretted her confidences. "I'll get along all right.

This is one of my off days, when everything looks black."

Miss Channing walked on in silence. She must help Constance, but

Constance was not easily helped. When school reopened, she might be

able to do something worthwhile for the girl, but just now the only

thing to do was to put her in the way of a pleasant vacation.

"You spoke of boarding," she said, when Constance paused at the door

of her boarding-house. "Have you any particular place in view? No?

Well, I know a place which I am sure you would like. I was there two

summers ago. It is a country place about a hundred miles from here.

Pine Valley is its name. It's restful and homey, and the people are so

nice. If you like, I'll give you the address of the family I boarded

with."

"Thank you," said Constance indifferently. "I might as well go there

as anywhere else."

"Yes, but listen to me, dear. Don't take your morbidness with you.

Open your heart to the summer, and let its sunshine in, and when you

come back in the fall, come prepared to let us all be your friends.

We'd like to be, and while friendship doesn't take the place of the

love of one's own people, still it is a good and beautiful thing.

Besides, there are other unhappy people in the world--try to help them

when you meet them, and you'll forget about yourself. Good-by for now,

and I hope you'll have a pleasant vacation in spite of yourself."

Constance went to Pine Valley, but she took her evil spirit with her.

Not even the beauty of the valley, with its great balmy pines, and the

cheerful friendliness of its people could exorcise it.

Nevertheless, she liked the place and found a wholesome pleasure in

the long tramps she took along the piney roads.

"I saw such a pretty spot in my ramble this afternoon," she told her

landlady one evening. "It is about three miles from here at the end of

the valley. Such a picturesque, low-eaved little house, all covered

over with honeysuckle. It was set between a big orchard and an

old-fashioned flower garden with great pines at the back."

"Heartsease Farm," said Mrs. Hewitt promptly. "Bless you, there's only

one place around here of that description. Mr. and Mrs. Bruce, Uncle

Charles and Aunt Flora, as we all call them, live there. They are the

dearest old couple alive. You ought to go and see them, they'd be

delighted. Aunt Flora just loves company. They're real lonesome by

times."

"Haven't they any children?" asked Constance indifferently. Her

interest was in the place, not in the people.

"No. They had a niece once, though. They brought her up and they just

worshipped her. She ran away with a worthless fellow--I forget his

name, if I ever knew it. He was handsome and smooth-tongued, but he

was a scamp. She died soon after and it just broke their hearts. They

don't even know where she was buried, and they never heard anything

more about her husband. I've heard that Aunt Flora's hair turned

snow-white in a month. I'll take you up to see her some day when I

find time."

Mrs. Hewitt did not find time, but thereafter Constance ordered her

rambles that she might frequently pass Heartsease Farm. The quaint old

spot had a strange attraction for her. She found herself learning to

love it, and so unused was this unfortunate girl to loving anything

that she laughed at herself for her foolishness.

One evening a fortnight later Constance, with her arms full of ferns

and wood-lilies, came out of the pine woods above Heartsease Farm just

as heavy raindrops began to fall. She had prolonged her ramble

unseasonably, and it was now nearly night, and very certainly a rainy

night at that. She was three miles from home and without even an extra

wrap.

She hurried down the lane, but by the time she reached the main road,

the few drops had become a downpour. She must seek shelter somewhere,

and Heartsease Farm was the nearest. She pushed open the gate and ran

up the slope of the yard between the hedges of sweetbriar. She was

spared the trouble of knocking, for as she came to a breathless halt

on the big red sandstone doorstep, the door was flung open, and the

white-haired, happy-faced little woman standing on the threshold had

seized her hand and drawn her in bodily before she could speak a word.

"I saw you coming from upstairs," said Aunt Flora gleefully, "and I

just ran down as fast as I could. Dear, dear, you are a little wet.

But we'll soon dry you. Come right in--I've a bit of a fire in the

grate, for the evening is chilly. They laughed at me for loving a fire

so, but there's nothing like its snap and sparkle. You're rained in

for the night, and I'm as glad as I can be. I know who you are--you

are Miss Foster. I'm Aunt Flora, and this is Uncle Charles."

Constance let herself be put into a cushiony chair and fussed over

with an unaccustomed sense of pleasure. The rain was coming down in

torrents, and she certainly was domiciled at Heartsease Farm for the

night. Somehow, she felt glad of it. Mrs. Hewitt was right in calling

Aunt Flora sweet, and Uncle Charles was a big, jolly, ruddy-faced old

man with a hearty manner. He shook Constance's hand until it ached,

threw more pine knots in the fire and told her he wished it would rain

every night if it rained down a nice little girl like her.

She found herself strangely attracted to the old couple. The name of

their farm was in perfect keeping with their atmosphere. Constance's

frozen soul expanded in it. She chatted merrily and girlishly, feeling

as if she had known them all her life.

When bedtime came, Aunt Flora took her upstairs to a little gable

room.

"My spare room is all in disorder just now, dearie, we have been

painting its floor. So I'm going to put you here in Jeannie's room.

Someway you remind me of her, and you are just about the age she was

when she left us. If it wasn't for that, I don't think I could put you

in her room, not even if every other floor in the house were being

painted. It is so sacred to me. I keep it just as she left it, not a

thing is changed. Good night dearie, and I hope you'll have pleasant

dreams."

When Constance found herself alone in the room, she looked about her

with curiosity. It was a very dainty, old-fashioned little room. The

floor was covered with braided mats; the two square, small-paned

windows were draped with snowy muslin. In one corner was a little

white bed with white curtains and daintily ruffled pillows, and in the

other a dressing table with a gilt-framed mirror and the various

knick-knacks of a girlish toilet. There was a little blue rocker and

an ottoman with a work-basket on it. In the work-basket was a bit of

unfinished, yellowed lace with a needle sticking in it. A small

bookcase under the sloping ceiling was filled with books.

Constance picked up one and opened it at the yellowing title-page. She

gave a little cry of surprise. The name written across the page in a

fine, dainty script was "Jean Constance Irving," her mother's name!

For a moment Constance stood motionless. Then she turned impulsively

and hurried downstairs again. Mr. and Mrs. Bruce were still in the

sitting room talking to each other in the firelight.

"Oh," cried Constance excitedly. "I must know, I must ask you. This is

my mother's name, Jean Constance Irving, can it be possible she was

your little Jeannie?"

* * * * *

A fortnight later Miss Channing received a letter from Constance.

"I am so happy," she wrote. "Oh, Miss Channing, I have found 'mine own

people,' and Heartsease Farm is to be my own, own dear home for

always.

"It was such a strange coincidence, no, Aunt Flora says it was

Providence, and I believe it was, too. I came here one rainy night,

and Aunty put me in my mother's room, think of it! My own dear

mother's room, and I found her name in a book. And now the mystery is

all cleared up, and we are so happy.

"Everything is dear and beautiful, and almost the dearest and most

beautiful thing is that I am getting acquainted with my mother, the

mother I never knew before. She no longer seems dead to me. I feel

that she lives and loves me, and I am learning to know her better

every day. I have her room and her books and all her little girlish

possessions. When I read her books, with their passages underlined by

her hand, I feel as if she were speaking to me. She was very good and

sweet, in spite of her one foolish, bitter mistake, and I want to be

as much like her as I can.

"I said that this was _almost_ the dearest and most beautiful thing.

The very dearest and most beautiful is this--God means something to me

now. He means so much! I remember that you said to me that he meant

nothing to me because I had no human love in my heart to translate the

divine. But I have now, and it has led me to Him.

"I am not going back to Taunton. I have sent in my resignation. I am

going to stay home with Aunty and Uncle. It is so sweet to say _home_

and know what it means.

"Aunty says you must come and spend all your next vacation with us.

You see, I have lots of vacation plans now, even for a year ahead.

After all, there is no need of the blue pills!

"I feel like a new creature, made over from the heart and soul out. I

look back with shame and contrition on the old Constance. I want you

to forget her and only remember your grateful friend, the _new_

Constance."

Lucy Maud Montgomery Short Stories, 1905 to 1906 · 第 13 / 37 题