SPIRITUAL CONDITION OF NIG.
"What are our joys but dreams? and what our hopes
But goodly shadows in the summer cloud?"
H. K. W.
JAMES did not improve as was hoped. Month after month passed away, and
brought no prospect of returning health. He could not walk far from the
house for want of strength; but he loved to sit with Aunt Abby in her
quiet room, talking of unseen glories, and heart-experiences, while
planning for the spiritual benefit of those around them. In these
confidential interviews, Frado was never omitted. They would discuss the
prevalent opinion of the public, that people of color are really
inferior; incapable of cultivation and refinement. They would glance at
the qualities of Nig, which promised so much if rightly directed. "I
wish you would take her, James, when you are well, home with YOU," said
Aunt Abby, in one of these seasons.
"Just what I am longing to do, Aunt Abby. Susan is just of my mind, and
we intend to take her; I have been wishing to do so for years."
"She seems much affected by what she hears at the evening meetings, and
asks me many questions on serious things; seems to love to read the
Bible; I feel hopes of her."
"I hope she IS thoughtful; no one has a kinder heart, one capable of
loving more devotedly. But to think how prejudiced the world are towards
her people; that she must be reared in such ignorance as to drown all
the finer feelings. When I think of what she might be, of what she will
be, I feel like grasping time till opinions change, and thousands like
her rise into a noble freedom. I have seen Frado's grief, because she is
black, amount to agony. It makes me sick to recall these scenes. Mother
pretends to think she don't know enough to sorrow for anything; but if
she could see her as I have, when she supposed herself entirely alone,
except her little dog Fido, lamenting her loneliness and complexion, I
think, if she is not past feeling, she would retract. In the summer I
was walking near the barn, and as I stood I heard sobs. 'Oh! oh!' I
heard, 'why was I made? why can't I die? Oh, what have I to live for? No
one cares for me only to get my work. And I feel sick; who cares for
that? Work as long as I can stand, and then fall down and lay there till
I can get up. No mother, father, brother or sister to care for me, and
then it is, You lazy nigger, lazy nigger--all because I am black! Oh, if
I could die!'
"I stepped into the barn, where I could see her. She was crouched down
by the hay with her faithful friend Fido, and as she ceased speaking,
buried her face in her hands, and cried bitterly; then, patting Fido,
she kissed him, saying, 'You love me, Fido, don't you? but we must go
work in the field.' She started on her mission; I called her to me, and
told her she need not go, the hay was doing well.
"She has such confidence in me that she will do just as I tell her; so
we found a seat under a shady tree, and there I took the opportunity to
combat the notions she seemed to entertain respecting the loneliness of
her condition and want of sympathizing friends. I assured her that
mother's views were by no means general; that in our part of the country
there were thousands upon thousands who favored the elevation of her
race, disapproving of oppression in all its forms; that she was not
unpitied, friendless, and utterly despised; that she might hope for
better things in the future. Having spoken these words of comfort, I
rose with the resolution that if I recovered my health I would take her
home with me, whether mother was willing or not."
"I don't know what your mother would do without her; still, I wish she
was away."
Susan now came for her long absent husband, and they returned home to
their room.
The month of November was one of great anxiety on James's account. He
was rapidly wasting away.
A celebrated physician was called, and performed a surgical operation,
as a last means. Should this fail, there was no hope. Of course he was
confined wholly to his room, mostly to his bed. With all his bodily
suffering, all his anxiety for his family, whom he might not live to
protect, he did not forget Frado. He shielded her from many beatings,
and every day imparted religious instructions. No one, but his wife,
could move him so easily as Frado; so that in addition to her daily toil
she was often deprived of her rest at night.
Yet she insisted on being called; she wished to show her love for one
who had been such a friend to her. Her anxiety and grief increased as
the probabilities of his recovery became doubtful.
Mrs. Bellmont found her weeping on his account, shut her up, and whipped
her with the raw-hide, adding an injunction never to be seen snivelling
again because she had a little work to do. She was very careful never to
shed tears on his account, in her presence, afterwards.