"Do you happen to notice a old duck that comes to the stalls at
Loueyville just after the derby?" asked Blister.
"Was his name Sanford, and did he wish to pat the mare?" I asked in
turn.
"That's him," said Blister. "Ole man Sanford. It ain't likely you
ever heard of him, but everybody on the track knows him, if they ever
hit the Loueyville meetin'. They never charge him nothin' to get into
the gates. He ain't a owner no more, but way back there before I'm
alive he wins the Kentucky Derby with Sweet Alice, 'n' from what I
hears she was a grand mare. Ole man Sanford breeds Sweet Alice
hisself. In them days he's got a big place not far from Loueyville.
They tell me his folks get the land original from the govament, when
it's nothin' but timber. I hears once, but it don't hardly sound
reasonable, that they hands over a half a million acres to the first
ole man Sanford, who was a grandaddy of this ole man Sanford. If
that's so, Uncle Sam was more of a sport in them days than since.
"I don't know how they pry it all loose from him, but one mawnin' ole
man Sanford wakes up clean as a whistle. They've copped the whole
works--he ain't got nothin'. So he goes to keepin' books fur a whisky
house in Loueyville, 'n' he holds the job down steady fur twenty years.
The only time he quits pen-pushin' is when they race at Churchill
Downs. From the first minute the meetin' opens till get-away day comes
he's bright eyes at the rat hole. He don't add up no figgers fur
nobody then. He just putters around the track. He's doped out as
sort-a harmless by the bunch.
"After the Très Jolie mare wins the derby fur me, ole man Sanford makes
my stalls his hang-out. I ain't kickin', all he wants to do is to look
at the mare 'n' chew the rag about her. That satisfies him completely.
"'Of all the hosses, suh, who have been a glory to our state,' he says,
'but one otheh had as game a heart as this superb creature. I refer to
Sweet Alice, suh--a race mayah of such quality that the world marveled.
Not in a boastful manner, suh, but with propah humility, let me say
that I had the honor to breed and raise Sweet Alice, and that she bore
my colors when she won the tenth renewal of our great classic.'
"He tells this to everybody that comes past the stalls, 'n' it ain't
long till he begins to bring people around to look the mare over. From
that he gets to watchin' how the swipes take care of her. Pretty soon
he begins to call 'em if things ain't done to suit him.
"'Boy,' he'll say, 'that bandage is tighter than I like to see it.
Always allow the tendon a little play--do not impaieh the suhculation.'
"The boys eat this stuff up--it tickles 'em. They treat him respectful
'n' do what he tells 'em.
"'Everything O. K. to-day, sir?' they'll say.
"Ole man Sanford don't tumble they're kiddin' him.
"'Ah have nothing to complain of,' he says.
"It ain't long till he's overseein' my whole string of hosses, just
like he owns 'em. Man, he sure does enjoy hisself! He won't trade
places with August Belmont.
"I'm gettin' Trampfast ready fur a nice little killin'. He's finished
away back in two starts, but he runs both races without a pill. This
hoss is a dope. He's been on it fur two seasons. He won't beat
nothin' without his hop. But when he gets just the right mixture under
his hide he figgers he can beat any kind of a hoss, 'n' he's about
right at that. He furgets all about his weak heart with the nutty
stuff in him. He thinks he's a ragin' lion. He can't wait to go out
there 'n' eat up them kittens that's goin' to start against him.
"One mawnin' my boy Pete takes the Trampfast hoss out fur a trial.
"'If he'll go six furlongs in about fourteen,' I says to Pete, 'he's
right. If he tries to loaf on you, shake him up; but if he's doin' his
work nice, let him suit hisself 'n' keep the bat off him. I want to
see what he'll do on his own.'
"'I think he'll perform to-day,' says Pete. 'He's felt real good to me
fur the last week.'
"Ole man Sanford's standin' there listenin'. When the work-out starts
he ketches the time with a big gold stop-clock that he fishes out of
his shiny ole vest. The clock's old, too--it winds with a key--but at
that she's a peach!
"'That's a fine clock,' I says to him. He don't take his eyes off the
hoss comin' round the bend.
"'He's running with freedom and well within himself,' he says. 'That
quatah was in twenty-foh flat! Yes, suh, this watch was presented to
me by membahs of the Breedah's Association to commemorate the victory
of Sweet Alice in the tenth renewal of our classic. You have heard me
speak of Sweet Alice?'
"'Yes, you told me about her, Mr. Sanford,' I says. 'That's sure some
clock.'
"'If he does not faltah in the stretch, suh,' says ole man Sanford, 'I
will presently show you the one minute and fohteen seconds you desiah
upon its face.'
"The ole man's a good judge of pace,--Trampfast comes home bang in the
fourteen notch.
"When Pete gets down at the stalls, ole man Sanford walks up to him.
"'Hyah is a dollah foh you, boy,' he says, 'n' hands Pete a buck.
'That was a well-rated trial.'
"Pete looks at the silver buck 'n' then at ole man Sanford 'n' then at
me.
"'What the hell--' he says.
"'You rough neck!' I says to Pete. Don't you know how to act when a
gentleman slips you somethin'?'
"'But look a-here,' says Pete. 'He ain't got--' I gives Pete a poke
in the slats. 'Much obliged, sir,' he says, 'n' puts the bone in his
pocket.
"'You are entirely welcome, mah boy,' says ole man Sanford, wavin' his
hand.
"'Say,' Pete says to me, 'I think this hoss'll cop without shot in the
arm. He's awful good!'
"'Not fur mine,' I says. 'He can run fur Sweeney when he ain't got no
hop in him. Just let some sassy hoss look him in the eye fur two jumps
'n' he'll holler, "Please, mister, don't!" Yea, bo',' I says, 'I know
this pup too well. When he's carryin' my kale he'll be shoutin'
hallelooyah with a big joy pill under his belt.'
"I furgets all about ole man Sanford bein' there. You don't talk about
hoppin' one with strangers listening but he's around so much I never
thinks. All of a sudden he's standin' in front of me lookin' like
there's somethin' hurtin' him.
"'What's the matter, Mr. Sanford?' I says.
"'I gathah from yoh convahsation,' says he, 'that it is yoh practise to
supplement the fine courage that God has given the thoroughbred with
vile stimulants. Am I correct in this supposition, suh?'
"'Why, yes--' I says, kind-a took back. 'When they need it I sure
gives it to 'em.'
"Ole man Sanford draws hisself up 'n' looks at me like I'm a toad.
"'Suh,' he says, 'the man who does that degrades himself and the
helpless creature that Providence has placed in his keeping! Not only
that, suh, but he insults the name of the thoroughbred and all it
stands for, still tendahly cherished by some of us. Ah have heard of
this abhorant practise that has come as a part of this mercenary age,
and, suh, Ah abominate both it and the man who would be guilty of such
an act!'
"'Why, look-a here, Mr. Sanford,' I says. 'They're all doin' it. If
you're goin' to train hosses you've got to get in the band wagon. If
_you_ can't give the owner a run fur his money he'll find somebody to
train 'em who can!'
"'Do you mean to tell me, suh, the wonderful courage displayed by that
mayah when the time came, was false?' says ole man Sanford, pointin' at
Très Jolie's stall. 'Ah saw strong men, the backbone of this state,
suh,' he says, 'watch that mayah come home with tears in their eyes.
Were their natures moved to the depths by an insulting counterfeit of
greatness?'
"'Why, sure not!' I says. 'But all hosses ain't like this mare.'
"'They are not, suh!' says ole man Sanford. 'Noh were they intended to
be! But few of us are ordained foh the heights. However,' he says,
puttin' his hand on my shoulder, 'Ah should not censure you too
strongly, young man. In fohcing yoh hawsses to simulate qualities they
do not possess, you are only a part of yoh times. This is the day of
imitation--I find it between the covahs of yoh books--I hear it in the
music yoh applaud--I see it riding by in motah-cars. Imitation--all
imitation!'
"I ain't hep to this line of chatter--it's by me. But I dopes it out
he's sore at automobiles,
"'What's wrong with 'em?' I says to him.
"'Ah don't feel qualified to answer yoh question, suh,' he says. 'Ah
believe the blind pursuit and worship of riches is almost entirely
responsible. It has bred a shallowness and superficiality in and
towahds the finah things of life. But the historian will answer yoh
question at a later day. He can bring a calmness to the task which is
impossible to one surrounded and bewildered by it all.'
"I ain't any wiser'n I was, but I don't say nothin'. The old man acts
like he's studyin' about somethin'.
"'Who owns the hawss that just trialed three-quahtahs in fohteen?' he
says, after while.
"'Jim Sigsbee up at Cynthiana,' I says.
"'Is Mr. Sigsbee awaheh of the--method you pursue with regahd to
falsely stimulating his hawss?' says ole man Sanford.
"'Well, I guess yes!' I says. 'Jim won't bet a dollar on him unless
he's got the hop in him.'
"'Ah shall write to him,' says ole man Sanford, 'n' beats it down the
track toward the gates.
"I don't see him fur over a week. I figger he's sore at me fur dopin'
hosses. It's a funny thing but, I'm a son-of-a-gun if I don't miss the
ole duck. From the way they talk I see the boys kind-a miss him, too.
"'I wonder where ole Pierpont's at?' I hears Chick say to Skinny.
'Gone East to see one of his hosses prepped fur the Brooklyn, I guess.'
"'Naw,' says Skinny; 'you got that wrong. He's goin' to send a stable
to Urope, 'n' Todd Sloan's tryin' to get a contrac' from him as
exercise-boy. Ole Pierpont's watchin' Todd work out a few so he kin
size up his style.'
"I've wrote Jim Sigsbee Trampfast's ready, but I don't enter the hoss
'cause I know Jim wants to come over 'n' bet a piece of money on him.
I don't hear from Jim, 'n' I wonder why.
"One day I'm settin' in front of the stalls 'n' here comes ole man
Sanford down the line.
"'Why, hello, Mr. Sanford!' I says. 'We sort-a figgered you'd quit us.
Things ain't gone right since you left. The boys need you to keep 'em
on their toes.'
"'Ah have not deserted you intentionally, suh,' he says. 'Since Ah saw
you last an old friend of mine has passed to his rewahd. The Hono'able
James Tullfohd Fawcett is no moh, suh--a gallant gentleman has left us.'
"'That's too bad,' I says. 'Did he leave a family?'
"'He did not, suh,' says ole man Sanford. 'Ah fell heir to his entiah
estate, only excepting the silvah mug presented to his beloved mothah
at his birth by Andrew Jackson himself, suh. This he bequeathed to the
public, and it will soon be displayed at the rooms of the Historical
Society named in his last will and testament.'
"'Did you get much out of it?" I says.
"'He had already endowed me with a friendship beyond price, suh,' he
says. 'His estate was not a large one as such things go--some twelve
hundred dollahs, I believe.'
"'That's better'n breakin' a leg,' I says.
"'You will, perhaps, be interested to learn,' he says, 'that Ah have
pu'chased the hawss Trampfast with a po'tion of the money. Hyah is a
lettah foh you from Mr. Sigsbee relative to the mattah.' He hands me a
letter, but I can't hardly read it--his buyin' this hop-head gets my
goat.
"'What you goin' to do with him?' I says. 'Race him?'
"'That is ma intention, suh,' he says. 'Ah expect to keep him in yoh
hands. But, of co'se, suh, the hawss will race on his merits and
without any sawt of stimulant.'
"I ain't stuck on the proposition. The Trampfast hoss can't beat a
cook stove without the hop. I hate to see the ole man burn up his
dough on a dead one.
"'Now, Mr. Sanford,' I says, 'times has changed since you raced. If
you'll let me handle this hoss to suit myself I think I can make a
piece of money fur you. The game ain't like it was once, 'n' if you
try to pull the stuff that got by thirty years ago, they'll trim you
right down to the suspenders. They ain't nothin' crooked about
slippin' the hop into a hoss that needs it.'
"'As neahly as I can follow yoh fohm of speech,' says ole man Sanford,
'you intend to convey the impression that the practise of stimulating a
hawss has become entirely propah. Am I correct, suh?'
"'That's it,' I says. ''N' you can gamble I'm right.'
"'Is the practise allowed under present day racing rules?' says ole man
Sanford, 'n' I think I've got him goin'.
"'Why, sure not,' I says. 'But how long would a guy last if he never
broke a racin' rule?'
"'Out of yoh own mouth is yoh augument condemned, suh,' says ole man
Sanford. 'Even in this day and generation the rules fohbid it--and let
me say, suh, that should a trainah, a jockey, or any one connected with
a stable of mine, be guilty of wilfully violating a racing rule, Ah
would discharge him at once, suh!'
"'_You goin' to race on the level all the time_?' I says.
"'If by that expression you mean hono'ably and as a gentleman--yes,
suh!'
"'_Good night, nurse_!' I says. 'You'll go broke quick at that game!'
"'Allow me to remind you that that is ma own affaih, suh,' says ole man
Sanford, 'n' the argument's over. His ideas date back so far they're
mildewed, but I see I can't change 'em. He don't belong around a race
track no more'n your grandmother!
"'All right, Mr. Sanford!' I says. 'You're the doctor! We'll handle
him just like you say.'
"Peewee Simpson has come over to chew the rag with me, 'n' he hears
most of this talk.
"'Wait till I call the boys,' he says, when ole man Sanford goes in to
look at the hoss.
"'What fur?' I says.
"'Family prayers,' says Peewee.
"I throws a scraper at him, 'n' he goes on down the line singin',
_Onward, Christian Soldiers_.
"Ole man Sanford orders a set of silks. He's got to send away fur the
kind he wants 'n' he won't let me start his hoss till they come.
Nobody but big stables pays attention to colors, so I tries to talk him
out of the notion,--nothin' doin'!
"'Ma colors were known and respected in days gone by, suh,' he says.
'Ah owe it to the public who reposed confidence in the puhple and
white, to fly ma old flag when Ah once moh take the field. Yes, suh.'
"'Purple 'n' white!' I says. 'Them's the colors of the McVay stable!'
"'Ah was breeding stake hawsses, suh,' says ole man Sanford, 'when his
mothah's milk was not yet dry upon the lips of young McVay.'
"When the silks come, I picks out a real soft spot for Trampfast. It's
a six furlong ramble fur has-beens 'n' there's sure a bunch of kioodles
in it! Most of 'em ought to be on crutches. My hoss has showed me the
distance in fourteen, 'n' that's about where this gang'll stagger home.
With the hop in him the Trampfast hoss'll give me two seconds better.
He ought to be a swell bet. But the hop puts all the heart in him
there is--he ain't got one of his own. If he runs empty he'll lay down
sure. I can't hop him, so I won't bet on him with counterfeit money.
"The mawnin' of the race ole man Sanford's at the stalls bright 'n'
early. He's chipper as a canary. He watches Chick hand-rub the hoss
fur a while 'n' then he pulls out a roll 'n' eases Chick two bucks. I
pipes off the roll. The ole man sees me lookin' at it.
"'Ah intend to wageh moderately today,' he says. 'And Ah have brought
a small sum with me foh the puhpose.'
"'What you goin' to bet on?' I says.
"'Ma own hawss, of co'se, suh,' he says. 'It is ma custom to back only
ma own hawsses or those of ma friends.'
"I don't say nothin'. I'm wise by this time, he plays the game to suit
hisself, but it sure makes me sick. I hate as bad to see the ole man
lose his dough as if it's mine.
"I goes over 'n' sets down on the track fence.
"'When you train a hoss fur a guy you do like he says, don't you?' I
says to myself. 'You don't own this hoss, 'n' the owner don't want him
hopped. They ain't but one answer--don't hop him.'
"'But look-a here,' I says back to myself. 'If you sees a child in
wrong, you tells him to beat it, don't you? It ain't your child, is
it? Well, this ole man ain't nothin' but a child. If he was, he'd let
you hop the hoss, 'n' make a killin' fur him.' I argues with myself
this way, but they can't neither one of us figger it out to suit the
other.
"'I wish the damned ole fool had somebody else a-trainin' his dog!' I
thinks after I've set there a hour 'n' ain't no further along 'n I was
when I starts.
"When it's gettin' towards post time, ole man Sanford hikes fur the
stand.
"'Skinny,' I says, 'amble over to the bettin' shed 'n' watch what the
ole man does. As soon as he's got his kale down, beat it back here on
the jump, 'n' tell me how much he gets on 'n' what the odds are.'
"In about ten minutes here comes Skinny at a forty shot.
"'He bets a hundred straight at fifteen-to-one! What do you know about
that?' he hollers.
"'That settles it!' I says. 'Chick, get them two bottles that's hid
under the rub-rags in the trunk! Now, ole Holler-enough,' I says to
the Tramp, 'you may be a imitation hoss, but we're goin' to make you
look so much like the real thing your own mother won't know you! . . .'
"When Trampfast starts fur the paddock, his eyes has begun to roll 'n'
he's walkin' proud.
"'He thinks he's the Zar of Rushy,' says Chick. 'He'll be seein' pink
elephants in a minute.'
"I don't find ole man Sanford till they're at the post. He's standin'
by the fence at the wire.
"The start's bein' held up by the Tramp. He's sure puttin' on a
show--the hop's got him as wild as a eagle. It's too far away fur the
ole man to see good, so I don't put him hep it's his hoss that's
cuttin' the didoes.
"Just then Chick comes up.
"'I hear you get a nice bet down on your hoss, Mr. Sanford,' he says.
'I sure hope he cops.'
"'Thank you, ma boy,' says ole man Sanford. 'I only placed a small
wageh, but at vehy liberal odds. Ah shall profit materially should he
win his race.'
"'If he gets away good he'll roll,' says Chick. 'There's no class to
that bunch, 'n' he's a bear with a shot in him. But he's a bad actor
when he's hopped--look at the fancy stuff he's pullin' now!'
"'You are mistaken, ma boy,' says ole man Sanford. 'This hawss has had
no stimulant _to-day_.'
"Like a nut I've furgot to tell the boys the ole man ain't on. I tries
to give Chick the high sign, but he's watchin' the hosses, 'n' before I
can get to him he belches up the glad news.
"'If _he_ ain't hopped one never was!' he says. 'We put a fierce shot
in him. Look at him act if you don--'
"I kick his shin off right there, but it's too late, ole man Sanford
gets pale as a rag.
"'How dare you--' he says, 'n' stops. 'But Ah shall prevent it!' he
says, 'n' starts fur the judge's stand. He ain't got a chance--just
then they get away, 'n' he turns back to me when he hears the crowd
holler, 'They're off!'
"'Young man,' he says, pointin' at me, 'n' he's shakin' like he's cold.
'What have Ah evah done to you to merit such treatment at yoh hands?'
"I see there's no use to lie to him, so I gives it to him straight.
"'Mr. Sanford,' I says, 'the hoss can't win without it, 'n' I don't
want to see you lose your money.'
"Ole man Sanford sort-a wilts. He seems to get smaller. I've never
noticed how old he is till now. He stands a-lookin' at me like he
never sees me before.
"The crowd begins to yell as the hosses hit the stretch. The Tramp is
out in front, 'n' he stays there all the way.
"The ole man never even looks towards the track.
"'He wins easy,' says Chick as they go under the wire, 'n' all you can
hear is 'Trampfast! Trampfast!' but ole man Sanford still keeps
a-starin' at me.
"'You want to cheer up, Mr. Sanford,' I says. 'You win a nice bet on
him.'
"He pulls the tickets out of his pocket 'n' looks at 'em. They call
fur sixteen hundred bucks.
"'As Ah have told you once befoh, young man,' he says, a-lookin' at the
tickets. 'Ah can not blame you greatly, because you are paht of yoh
times. This is the excuse Ah find foh you in thinking Ah would value
money moh than the spohtsmanship of a gentleman. Yoh times are bad,
young man!' he says. 'They have succeeded in staining the puhple and
white at the vehy end. Ah would neveh have raced afteh to-day. It was
a whim of an old man to see his colohs once moh among a field of
hawses. Ah knew Ah was not of this day. Ah should have known bettah
than to become a paht of it even foh a little time. Ah have learned ma
lesson,' he says, lookin' up at me. 'But you have made it vehy bittah.'
"He looks down at the tickets again fur a minute. . . Then he tears
'em across three ways 'n' drops 'em on the ground."