"CRUCIFY TO YOURSELVES AFRESH THE SON OF MAN ..."
It was the thirteenth Sunday after Trinity, and for what reason I don't
remember--certainly, the house-party at Goodford were hardly zealots in
the matter of church-going--that Sunday evening quite a party had been
got up to go to the office at Ritching. The fact, I believe, was that
the fame of Dr Burton's oratory had spread through the house, and
dowager and lordling, finding the Sabbath evening empty, yielded to the
pique of curiosity and to Mrs Edward's organising genius.
Baron Kolár, too, had everywhere dropped the opinion that Dr Burton was
a nice fellow, that he was not so bad, that he was the only living man
with whom grandiose speech was a natural function, like sleep.
Langler alone had declined to take part in the bout. Under any
circumstances, I fancy, he would have shrunk from that kind of religious
picnic; but he had now the special reason that he meant to go "at seven"
that evening to the rendezvous at Hallam Castle given him in the
unsigned letter.
To me this seemed very foolish, for I argued that no one could know the
whereabouts of Robinson except those to whom he owed his disappearance,
and during two days I had been praying Langler to ignore the letter. He
answered that he had made up his mind to go. But at least he would let
me go with him, I urged. He answered that he would rather be alone. What
arms, I asked, would he take with him? He said that he was not
accustomed to carry weapons about, and would take his stick.
"But you speak," I had said, "just as though you were not conscious of
any danger in the undertaking."
"Well, I am conscious of danger," he answered, "but I believe that in
proportion to the danger may be the amount of information to be
gathered."
He had said that he would walk to Hallam Castle (three miles), and then,
after his interview with the letter-writer, walk from Hallam to Ritching
church (two miles), in order to get back to Goodford with the
house-party in a carriage.
A little before six on the Sunday evening I was leaning with Miss Emily
over a bridge in the north park when he came to us on his way to the
rendezvous, spoke a few words, said he was going farther, and made me a
signal with the eyes to be mum. Twice he waved back at us as he went
forward; once and again I saw him stop to bend over a hedge-flower. He
was rather pale. I had long understood that his heart was not strong,
as small exertions would sometimes put him out of breath.
Miss Emily, for her part, had consented to be one of the party of
excursionists, so after half-an-hour at the bridge she and I climbed the
rising ground to the house to go to the church.
She said, I remember, that the escapade was a bore to her, so that up to
that moment she certainly meant to go.
There in front of the porch when we reached it stood a crowd of
vehicles, saddle-horses, drivers, grooms, in the midst of costumes and
chatter. Two of the carriages had already started, bearing away cries of
laughter at the crowded discomfort within them. I saw the pink brow of
Mr Edwards under the neck of a rearing horse; large Mrs Edwards was in a
flush of earnestness; Baron Kolár was seated on a cube of marble
bestowing his teeth upon the scene.
Miss Emily was not yet ready to start, so ran into the house, telling me
that she would be back in three minutes.
It had been ordained by Mrs Edwards that she should drive with Baron
Kolár. I was with another party. In a few minutes only two of the
vehicles were left; in one of them sat the baron, waiting for Miss
Emily. I was in the other with four ladies; the baron's was a cabriolet,
mine a car; both waited for the coming of Miss Emily.
Someone in my car said: "she is a long time."
The baron's eyes wandered; he drew his hand backward over his scrap of
hair, looking restless; he pipped nothings. Presently he called out:
"where is she, then?"
I was unwilling to drive away without her, so I called back to him: "if
you will take my place, I will take yours, and wait for her."
There was the objection of space to this proposition; but, without
answering, the baron at once got himself down from his cabriolet, and,
with ponderous cares, managed to wedge himself into my place in the car,
which drove off, while I stood by the cabriolet, waiting for Miss Emily.
She did not come. I waited ten minutes, fifteen. Then I went into the
house, full of trouble.
I quickly found a housemaid, and sent her to hunt, but, running back
after some minutes, she said that Miss Langler was not in her room.
Before long I had a number of men and women searching the house for her;
but she could not be found, and my heart sank at the thought that both
of them, brother and sister, were where I did not know.
One of the girls said that half-an-hour before, when Miss Langler was
coming down the great stair to join the party, she had handed to Miss
Langler a note which one of the villagers of Mins had given her. She had
gone away while Miss Langler was reading the note, and did not know what
Miss Langler had done afterwards.
As for me, my mind was a void filled only with fear. The house was
empty, I had no one to consult, no notion how to act. At last I leapt
into the cabriolet, lashed the horse, and went along the road that leads
to Hallam Castle: at least I knew where one of the two was to be sought.
It is a ruin in the older Norman mood in the midst of Goodford Manor
demesne. On getting to it I made fast the horse, and ran up a dell to
the "north-west corner" of the rendezvous: Langler was not there, but it
was still light enough for me to see some footprints in moss on a mass
of broken ground not far from the castle-wall: whether his footprints or
not I couldn't tell.
I began to call out, but there was no answer, and the footprints passing
from the moss, I lost them among stones.
Night was darkening when I went to the other (east) end of the ruin, and
entered by a wicket into one of the courtyards. When I had stumbled a
little way up a stair I was all in darkness. I called aloud Langler's
name again and again; but there was no answer.
I would go no farther, the steps were so broken, the darkness so crowded
with foes and fears; I had no light; so at last I ran back down. He
might after all, I thought, have left the ruin and gone to the church,
as arranged. That was the first thing now to find out, so I ran back to
my trap, and cantered off towards Ritching.
At Ritching I flung my reins to the railing before the church, and ran
inward, the middle portal framing a glimmer of light before me. I heard
the rise, long triumph, and fall of a royal voice: Dr Burton preaching;
and, running up the three steps before the church, I peeped in.
There was no pulpit, no rood-screen; Dr Burton was before the sacrarium;
and with his hands behind his back, he was striding sharply a little way
to and fro, with swinging shoulders at the turn, like a man moved to
wrath.
That evening he had read of the sending out of the Twelve; of the power
vouchsafed them over unclean spirits; of the charge that they must take
naught for their journey, save a staff only--no scrip, no bread, no
money in their purse; and the contrast between the spirit of Christ and
the spirit of Christendom may have fired the doctor. He had taken for
his text: "crucify to yourselves afresh the son of man, and put him to
an open shame"; and at the moment when I entered he was launching a war
of language against the modern world and the modern Church.
The party from Goodford formed much the larger part of the congregation,
down the nave running a desert of pews, and I think I am right in saying
that not more than fifty persons were present, all herded towards the
front, looking lost in the largeness of the church. So low had the gas
been turned that, though I went peering quite half way up the nave, I
could not say whether Langler was or was not there.
At that moment Dr Burton had lashed himself into a really painful pitch
of heat. He was tacking to and fro in short runs, rather like lions at
the moment when they spy their keeper coming with meat, and loudly he
cried out in his brogue: "ye crucify him afresh! Oh, the poor, bleeding
hands--so nailed. Oh, the poor, bleeding side--so pierced. Oh, the
ravished lamb, oh, the violated dove, oh, the crushed Christ! Have ye,
then, no pity? no entrails of compassion? ye dry eyes? ye hard hearts?
ye tearless teats? Have ye become men of _wood_? worm-eaten? loth as
death? chill as the silver ye gloat on? sallow as the gold ye clutch?
May God put fire into you, if it were half hell-fire, ye Monophysites,
ye modern men of pure Polar snow! Oh, look--oh, see: that lip--so
sucked: Is there no lust about you that you don't bind it with wild
community to your mouth? Those eyeballs ooze a whey of blood: is there
no heart in all the Sahara of your vulgar gullets to weep and groan and
weep?... Yes, it was pitiful: he was kind, and he was killed, he was
good, and he was galled, he was meek, and he was mangled. And will you
crucify him _afresh_? In the name of Holy Church, I call the Eternal God
this night----"
But at this point Dr Burton stopped with a gasp, gaping upward all in
wonderment; and from his mouth, from mine, from the mouths of us all in
the church, there burst a sound.
Yonder in mid-air--under the roof of the central aisle--hung the
crucified himself.
That sight will never tend to fade or be blurred in the memory of those
who beheld it; if there be memory in Eternity, then always still in
Eternity that sight, I think, will be with me.
It was not an optical error--that was the first certainty at which the
brain, on waking a little from its deadness, arrived; it was not some
magic illusion: a real man crucified on a real cross stood there
revealed. From three points of the thorn-dented forehead I, with my eye
of flesh, saw a trickle creep, and pause, and creep.
I found myself on my knees on the tiles, with my hands clasped. I forgot
Langler--I forgot my love, his sister--and all things else. From the
bowed knot of men and women in front of me came groan on groan.
_At last!_ The heavens had spoken....
Yet it was faintly seen, and though I raised my head, and forced my eyes
to search the divine horror, the light was most dim, and the revelation
seemed rather the spectre of a thing than the thing itself. Only, each
detail was perfect, and it was the crudeness of these details which
proved its reality to the mind with proof a hundred times sure. The
haggard crucifixions of Dürer and Spagnoletto--all the _macabre_ dreams
of a painter, graver, sculptor, heaped into one massacre of flesh and of
grinning bone--would seem like a child's fancy in comparison with that
fact. Still in my dreams I see the sideward hang of that under-lip, and
that hollow between ribs and hips drawn out into shocking length, and
the irregular drip from the hands, the left of which had been ripped to
the finger-roots, and the crown of sorrow, and the dead drop of that
tragic brow, it cannot be told....
Perhaps I alone examined details; the rest knelt bowed down; only Dr
Burton, with his neck stretched back, stared as if in vision straight
upward upon heaven. In myself I felt a kind of rapture, and also of
peace; and the words which I murmured to myself were these: "at last."
All at once, without ascent, descent, or movement, the image vanished.
But still for a longish time no stir nor sound, save some hushed sob,
was to be heard echoing through the building.
At last! after the dumb centuries, a sign from the skies, a flag from
God; and I thought to myself: "long have been those years in which so
many generations of men have wept in the face of the sphinx, craving but
one sure word from the callous vault for a morsel of manna to their
hunger, and now the old silence is over"; and I remember hugging myself,
thinking: "it was true, then! it was not a fancy of man's infancy! it
was all quite true."
Through the church the sobs of duchess and ploughman, of server and
acolyte, began to sound in growing volume; I saw Dr Burton lift himself
and escape into the sacristy; the others mingled the sounds of their
awe, till the echoes became one murmur in the vault. As for me, the
burden of my thought was this: "at last...."
But, looking up, I was conscious of a row of teeth, and of Baron Kolár,
who, with a raised head, was smiling his benediction upon the scene, and
his look was as when he snuffled sleepily of a thing, "well, it is not
so bad." I do not know if anyone else noticed him; but, as for me,
filled though I was with my other feelings, for a moment I was most
offended.