|Yes,” said the man with the big voice, “I've seen it coming for years.
Years.”
“Have you?” said the man with the timid voice. He had taken his seat
on the top of the bus beside the big voice and had spoken of the tube
strike that had suddenly paralysed the traffic of London.
“Yes, years,” said big voice, crowding as much modesty into the
admission as possible. “I'm a long-sighted man. I see things a long way
off. Suppose I'm a bit psychic. That's what I'm told. A bit psychic.”
“Ah,” said timid voice, doubtful, I thought, as to the meaning of the
word, but firm in admiring acceptance of whatever it meant.
“Yes, I saw it coming for years. Lloyd George--that's the man that
up to it before the war with his talk about the dukes and
property and things. I said then, 'You see if this don't make trouble.'
Why, his speeches got out to Russia and started them there. And now's
it's come back. I always said it would. I said we should pay for it.”
“Did you, though?” observed timid voice--not questioningly, but as an
assurance that he was listening attentively.
“Yes, the same with the war. I see it coming for years--years, I did.
And if they'd taken my advice it' ud have been over in no time. In the
first week I said: 'What we've got to do is to build 1000 aeroplanes and
train 10,000 pilots and make 2000 torpedo craft.' That's what I said.
But was it done?”
“Of course not,” said timid voice.
“I saw it all with my long sight. It's a way I have. I don't know why,
but there it is. I'm not much at the platform business--tub-thumping,
I call it--but for seeing things far off--well, I'm a bit psychic, you
know.”
“Ah,” said timid voice, mournfully, “it's a pity some of those talking
fellows are not psychic, too.” He'd got the word firmly now.
“Them psychic!” said big voice, with scorn. “We know what they are.
You see that Miss Asquith is marrying a Roumanian prince. Mark my word,
he'll turn out to be a German, that's what he'll turn out to be. It's
German money all round. Same with these strikes. There's German money
behind them.”
“Shouldn't wonder at all,” said timid voice.
“I know,” said big voice. “I've a way of seeing things. The same in the
Boer War. I saw that coming for years.”
“Did you, indeed?” said timid voice.
“Yes. I wrote it down, and showed it to some of my friends. There it
was in black and white. They said it was wonderful how it all turned
out--two years, I said, 250 millions of money, and 20,000 casualties.
That's what I said, and that's what it was. I said the Boers would win,
and I claim they did win, seeing old Campbell Bannerman gave them all
they asked for.”
“You were about right,” assented timid voice.
“And now look at Lloyd George. Why, Wilson is twisting him round his
finger--that's what he's doing. Just twisting him round his finger.
Wants a League of Nations, says Wilson, and then he starts building a
fleet as big as ours.”
“Never did like that man,” said timid voice.
“It's him that has let the Germans escape. That's what the armistice
means. They've escaped--and just when we'd got them down.”
“It's a shame,” said timid voice.
“This war ought to have gone on longer,” continued big voice. “My
opinion is that the world wanted thinning out. People are too crowded.
That's what they are--they're too crowded.”
“I agree there,” said timid voice. “We wanted thinning.”
“I consider we haven't been thinned out half enough yet. It ought to
have gone on, and it would have gone on but for Wilson. I should like to
know his little game. 'Keep your eye on Wilson,' says _John Bull_, and
that's what I say. Seems to me he's one of the artful sort. I saw a case
down at Portsmouth. Secretary of a building society--regular
chapel-goer, teetotaller, and all that. One day the building society
went smash, and Mr Chapel-goer had got off with the lot.”
“I don't like those goody-goody people,” said timid voice.
“No,” said big voice. “William Shakespeare hit it oh. Wonderful what
that man knew. 'All the world's a stage, and all the men and women
players,' he said. Strordinary how he knew things.”
“Wonderful,” said timid voice.
“There's never been a man since who knew half what William Shakespeare
knew--not one-half.”
“No doubt about it,” said timid voice.
“I consider that William Shakespeare was the most psychic man that ever
lived. I don't suppose there was ever such a long-sighted man before
_or_ since. He could see through anything. He'd have seen through Wilson
and he'd have seen this war didn't stop before the job was done. It's a
pity we haven't a William Shakespeare now. Lloyd George and Asquith
are not in it with him. They're simply duds beside William Shakespeare.
Couldn't hold a candle to him.”
“Seems to me,” said timid voice, “that there's nobody, as you might say,
worth anything to-day.”
“Nobody,” said big voice. “We've gone right off. There used to be men.
Old Dizzy, he was a man. So was Joseph Chamberlain. He was right about
Tariff Reform. I saw it years before he did. Free Trade I said was all
right years ago, when we were manufacturing for the world. But it's out
of date. I saw it was out of date long before Joseph Chamberlain. It's
the result of being long-sighted. I said to my father, 'If we stick to
Free Trade this country is done.' That's what I said, and it's true. We
_are_ done. Look at these strikes. We stick to things too long. I
believe in looking ahead. When I was in America before the war they
wouldn't believe I came from England. Wouldn't believe it. 'But the
English are so slow,' they said, 'and you--why you want to be getting on
in front of us.' That's my way. I look ahead and don't stand still.”
“It's the best way too,” said timid voice. “We want more of it. We're
too slow.”
And so on. When I came to the end of my journey I rose so that the
light of a lamp shone on the speakers as I passed. They were both
well-dressed, ordinary-looking men. If I had passed them in the street
I should have said they were intelligent men of the well-to-do business
class. I have set down their conversation, which I could not help
overhearing, and which was carried on by the big voice in a tone meant
for publication, as exactly as I can recall it. There was a good deal
more of it, all of the same character. You will laugh at it, or weep
over it, according to your humour.
[Illustration: 0055]