barrel that arternoon th' old man was beginnin' ter think a teetotal
revival had struck th' _Here at Last_. But though cayenne pepper drives
a chap ter water pretty often while th' effect lasts, it don't have no
permanent result, as th' old man found out. Course it was a mistake o'
mine; but ain't we all liable to go a bit astray?
"I'm jest givin' yeh these few examples t' show yeh that things wasn't
altogether O.K. 'tween me an' the crew. They was always swearin' at me,
an' callin' of me names, an' heavin' things at me head, because I'd done
or hadn't done suthin' or other. An angel from heaven wouldn't have
pleased 'em; an' as I never held much stock in the angelic trust yeh kin
easily understand we was most times very much at sixes an' sevens.
"One evenin' I was sittin' in th' fo'c's'le patiently listenin' ter th'
horrible language in which they reproached me because one o' 'em had
managed t' break a front tooth in biting a bit o' th' salt pork they'd
had for dinner, which was certainly no fault o' mine, when one of 'em,
an English chap he was, an' the worst grumbler of all, suddenly cries:
"'Jeerusalem, wouldn't I give somethin' fer a drop of beer just now.
Strike me pink if I ain't a'most forgotten what the taste o' it's like.'
"'Me, too,' said Harry Towers, the carpenter. 'A schooner o' lager an'
ale! Sakes! Wouldn't it jest sizzle down a day like this?'
"'My aunt! I'd give a month's pay f'r a quart,' the surly Britisher says
fiercely.
"'A quart, why don't yeh ask for a barrel while yeh're about it; then
I'd help yeh drink it,' I says.
"'Yer, yer blighted, perishin' idiot,' he shouts--it was him that'd
broken his tooth. 'What, waste good beer on yer that's fit fer nothin'
but cuttin' up into shark bait!'
"'That ain't th' way t' talk to a man as is always ready an' willin' t'
help yeh,' I says reproachfully.
"The chap glares at me like a tiger with the colic. His language was
awful. 'Lord 'elp us,' he finishes up with, 'why, yer've done nuthin'
but try ter pizen us ever since we come aboard. Ain't I right, mates?'
"'Righto,' they choruses; an' I begin t' think they'd soon be gittin' up
to mischief.
"'P'raps I might help yeh t' git some beer if yer was more respectful,'
I says hurriedly.
"'Beer!' they all yells, an' looks up at me all to onct as if I was a
dime museum freak.
"'Yes, beer,' I says quietly.
"'An' where'd you be gittin' it from?' asks one.
"'Never yeh mind that,' I answers. 'I've a dozen or two bottles of
English stout I brought aboard, an' since yeh're so anxious to taste a
drop o' beer, I don't mind lettin' yeh have some--at a price, o'
course.'
"'What's the figure?' Towers inquires suspiciously. He was a Michigan
man.
"'A dollar th' bottle.'
"'What!' shouts th' man as was ready t' give a month's pay fer a quart.
'A dollar th' bottle! Why, yer miserable old skinflint!'
"'A dollar th' bottle. That's the terms, take 'em or leave 'em,' says I,
very firmly.
"They talked a lot, and they swore a lot more, but finally seem' as I
wasn't t' be moved, and that they couldn't get the beer except at my
price, the hull ten of 'em agreed to have a bottle apiece.
"'Money down,' I stipulates; an' after a lot o' trouble they collects
seven dollars between 'em, an' tells me it's all they've got, an' if I
didn't bring up th' ten bottles mighty quick they'd knock me on th' head
an' drop me overboard.
"'Mind,' I said, as I goes off to th' galley, money in my hand; 'don't
yeh let th' officers see yeh drinkin' it or they'll think yeh've been
broachin' cargo, an' that's little short o' mutiny.'
"'Bring up that beer,' growls the Britisher, almost foamin' at th'
mouth.
"When I came back with th' ten bottles o' stout in a basket they all
looked so pleased an' happy it did my heart good ter look at 'em.
"'Hand it over,' they shouts impatiently.
"'I'm afraid it's gone a bit flat,' I said, as I handed th' bottles
round. 'But I've tried to pull it round.'
"Flat or not, they weren't goin' to kick; an' they was jest 'bout to
unscrew the stoppers when the second mate suddenly shoves his head down
the hatchway an' yells out:
"'On deck, yer lazy, skulking, highly colored lubbers. Tumble up at
once, an' git a lively move on, or I'll be down an' smarten ye up!'
"McClosky, the second mate, was not a fellow who stood any nonsense, an'
th' men weren't long before they was out o' th' fo'c's'le, grumblin'
an' swearin' as only men who've lost their watch below can. They just
stayed long enough t' shove th' unopened bottles o' stout well out o'
sight underneath th' mattresses o' their bunks an' then they was up on
deck working like niggers. A squall had struck the _Here at Last_;
mighty inconvenient, these squalls in the Caribbean Sea are, an' th'
_Here at Last_ wasn't best calc'lated t' weather 'em. For two mortal
hours everyone was hard at it, takin' in sail, doublin' ropes, an'
makin' all ready for what promised t' be a dirty night. All thoughts o'
beer was driven out o' their heads. An' when everythin' was ship-shape
an' they came below again, soakin' wet an' dog-tired, they just climbed
into their berths without stoppin' to think of th' precious bottles o'
stout.
"'Bout two o'clock in th' mornin', I was woke up by what sounded like a
pistol shot in th' fo'c's'le, an' before I c'd rub th' sleep out er my
eyes, there was another, an' another an' another, an' I saw four sailors
tumble outer their bunks an' fall on th' floor shriekin' as if they'd
been attacked by th' most awful pain. Everyone else in th' fo'c's'le
sits up, wide awake, an' starin' at th' sufferin' wretches on th' floor.
"'Wot th' 'ell's up?' asks th' Britisher; but no one knew, an' th' nex'
second there was another explosion, an' he suddenly gave a scream that
lifted th' hair on my scalp, an' leaps outer his bunk as if he'd been
suddenly prodded in a tender spot wi' a red hot poker.
"'My Gawd!' he screeches; 'th' bunk's exploded an' I'm bleedin' ter
death;' an' he starts yellin' like a catamount, runnin' up an' down th'
gangway, an' tramplin' upon th' four shriekin', cursin', prayin' sailors
who'd been attacked fust.
"'It's an infernal machine, an' it's blowed a hole in me back,' the
Britisher yelled; an' we who was lookin' on c'd certainly hear suthin'
drippin' from th' bunk he'd just got out of.
"'Owch! I'm blowed t' bits. I'm bein' murdered. I'm dyin', Lord help
me,' Harry Towers, the carpenter, wails; an' there was another terrific
bang, an' outer his bunk Harry shot, landin', on th' chest o' one o' th'
moanin' squirmin' sailors. Th' poor fellow, findin' himself thus
flattened out, an' not knowin' what it was had fallen on him, gives a
gaspin' sort er yell, an' drives Towers in th' back wi' his fist.
"Th' row goin' on was suthin' terrible; a' 'sylum full o' ravin'
lunatics on th' rampage couldn't have made more noise; an' them that
hadn't been hurt was beginnin' t' feel as bad as them that was, when
someone scrambles down th' companionway.
"It was McClosky, th' second mate, whose watch on deck it was. He'd
heard th' row--an' no wonder--an' thinkin', I dessay, that murder or
mutiny was goin' on, came forward to investigate. He was a red-headed,
hot-tempered Irishman, an' c'd handle a crew in rare style.
"'What th' dickens----' he commences, when one o' th' men on th' floor,
seein' th' gun in his hand, an' not recognizin' him, shouted, 'They're
comin' t' finish us,' an' grabs th' mate round th' legs wi' th' grip of
a boa constrictor.
"Th' mate, sure it was mutiny, lets off his gun permiscuous. A clip on
the jaw made th' sailor let go, an' th' mate, seein' Towers groanin' on
th' floor quite close, kicks him hard an' asks what's th' matter.
"'We're blown up, sir,' Towers whimpers.
"'Blown up, ye fool, what d' ye mean? Who's blowin' ye up?' demands
McClosky.
"'Dunno, sir,' Harry stammered; an' just then there was two more
explosions, an' a couple more o' the seamen bundled headlong out er
their berths, utterin' doleful shrieks that'd make yer heart stand
still.
"Th' mate was kickin', swearin', and shoutin' like a demon, th' men all
th' while keepin' up their row as if they was bein' paid a dollar a
minute to yell. Then th' skipper put in an appearance. His face was
white as chalk, but his hands, in each o' which was a big Colt, were
steady as rocks, an' he come down th' ladder like a man who reckons he's
in for a good fight.
"'What's all this mean, Mr. McClosky?' he asks, pausin' when he sees
there's no fightin' goin' on.
"Whatever th' mate said was drowned by th' row th' sailors was makin',
though he bellowed like a frisky bull. Th' old man didn't seem a bit
frightened; droppin' one o' th' Colts inter his pocket, he roars,
'Silence'; and steps over to th' berth where Joe Harper, th' bo'sun, was
sittin' upright, stiff as a poker, an' his eyes fairly startin' out er
his head wi' terror.
"'Now, then, Harper,' he says, an' judgin' by his face th' skipper was
'bout as mad as a bear with a sore head. 'What th' blazes does it mean?
Have yeh all gone mad?'
"But th' bo'sun, he was too scared to do more than gape at th' skipper
like a codfish three days out er water, an th' old man gits a bit
madder.
"'Answer, yeh damn rascal,' he shouted; an' he grabs Harper by th'
shoulder an' shakes him until his teeth fairly rattled. But th' bo'sun
couldn't say a word.
"'If this ain't enough t' drive a man crazy,' th' skipper yells;
'McClosky, have yeh lost yer senses like all these condemned rascals
here? What's th' meanin' o' it?'
"'Don't know, sir; I heard 'em ravin' an' screamin' like lunatics, but I
can't get a word out of 'em. Think they must all have become mad,' an'
th' mate kicked Towers again t' relieve his feelin's.
"He'd just finished speakin' when suthin' busted underneath th' bo'sun.
Harper screams, th' skipper gives a jump an' lets go of his arm, an'
Harper falls out er his berth as if he'd been suddenly shot dead, only
he was makin' a row like a man suddenly attacked wi' D.T.'s. And at that
all th' other miserable wretches on th' floor starts worse than ever.
"Th' skipper pulls himself together, an' goin' t' th' bo'sun's bunk,
leans over an' examines it. He poked about f'r a bit, put his fingers
into a stream of suthin' that was fallin' from th' bunk to th' floor,
an' then by th' light o' th' swingin' oil lamp, I see his face turn a
blazin' crimson. I see him take suthin' outer th' bed, an' then he
swings round an' faces th' men.
"'Yeh low down, thievin', chicken-hearted, blank, blank scoundrels,' he
yells, an' his voice was that loud an' so full o' passion th' sailors
were scared into quietness. 'Yeh miserable sneakin' apologies for men!
So this is what's th' matter, is it? By gum! If I don't have every
mother's son of ye clapped into jail soon as we reach Kingstown, call me
a crimson Dutchman. Blown up, are ye? I wish t' th' Lord some of ye had
been. Sailors, yeh calls yeh-selves! Why, by gosh! yeh haven't enough
spirit t' rob a mouse. What's that yeh say, Towers? Infernal machines,
eh? Dyin'! If yeh don't all get a move on ye in double quick time, some
of yeh will be. Git out o' my sight, ye blubberin' babies; I'm sick an'
ashamed of ye.'
"A more sick an' unhappy lookin' drove I never saw when th' men got on
their legs again an' found out they weren't hurt a little bit; an'
discovered what it was had caused th' explosions. They wouldn't look at
each other; an' they daren't speak or else there'd have been fightin'.
"I went about in fear of my life for days, but they did nothin'; though
if they'd known that I--quite innocent o' mischief, yeh understand--had
put a dozen grains or so of rice inter every bottle o' stout--amazin'
stuff rice for causin' fermentation in hot climates--they wouldn't have
stopped short at mere profanity. My life wouldn't have been worth a
moment's purchase."
X
THE ADOPTED SON
A Tale of Peasant Life
From the French of GUY de MAUPASSANT
THE two cottages stood side by side at the foot of a hill near a little
seaside resort. The two peasants labored hard on the unproductive soil
to rear their little ones, of which each family had four.
In front of the adjoining doors the whole troop of urchins sprang and
tumbled about from morning till night. The two eldest were six years
old, and the two youngest were about fifteen months; the marriages, and
afterward the births, having taken place nearly simultaneously in both
families.
The two mothers could hardly distinguish their own offspring among the
lot, and as for the fathers, they were altogether at sea. The eight
names danced in their heads; they were always getting them mixed up; and
when they wished to call one child, the men often called three names
before getting the right one.
The first of the two dwellings, coming from the direction of the
sea-bath, Belleport, was occupied by the Tuvaches, who had three girls
and one boy; the other house sheltered the Vallins, who had one girl and
three boys.
They all subsisted with difficulty on soup, potatoes, and the open air.
At seven o'clock in the morning, then at noon, then at six o'clock in
the evening, the housewives got their nestlings together to give them
their food, as the goose-herds collect their charges. The children were
seated, according to age, before the wooden table, varnished by fifty
years of use; the mouths of the youngest hardly reaching the level of
the table. Before them was placed a deep dish filled with bread, soaked
in the water in which the potatoes had been boiled, half a cabbage, and
three onions; and the whole line ate until their hunger was appeased.
The mother herself fed the smallest.
A little meat, boiled in a soup, on Sunday, was a feast for all; and the
father on this day sat longer over the repast, repeating: "I should like
this every day."
One afternoon, in the month of August, a light carriage stopped suddenly
in front of the cottages, and a young woman, who was driving the horses,
said to the gentleman sitting at her side:
"Oh, look, Henri, at all those children! How pretty they are, tumbling
about in the dust, like that!"
The man did not answer, being accustomed to these outbursts of
admiration, which were a pain and almost a reproach to him. The young
woman continued:
"I must hug them! Oh, how I should like to have one of them--that one
there--the little bit of a one!"
Springing down from the carriage, she ran toward the children, took one
of the two youngest--that of the Tuvaches, and lifting it up in her
arms, she kissed him passionately on his dirty cheeks, on his frowzy
hair daubed with earth, and on his little hands, which he swung
vigorously, to get rid of the caresses which displeased him.
Then she got up into the carriage again, and drove off at a lively trot.
But she returned the following week, and seating herself on the ground,
took the youngster in her arms, stuffed him with cakes, gave bon-bons to
all the others, and played with them like a young girl, while the
husband waited patiently in the frail carriage.
She returned again; made the acquaintance of the parents, and reappeared
every day with her pockets full of dainties and of pennies.
Her name was Madame Henri d'Hubieres.
One morning, on arriving, her husband alighted with her, and without
stopping with the children, who now knew her well, she entered the
peasants' cottage.
They were busy splitting wood to cook the soup. They straightened up,
much surprised, offered chairs, and waited expectantly.
Then the woman, in a broken, trembling voice, began:
"My good people, I have come to see you, because I should like--I should
like to take--your little boy with me----"
The country people, too stupefied to think, did not answer.
She recovered her breath, and continued: "We are alone, my husband and
I. We should keep it--Are you willing?"
The peasant woman began to understand. She asked:
"You want to take Charlot from us? Oh, no, indeed!"
Then M. d'Hubieres intervened:
"My wife has not explained clearly what she means. We wish to adopt him,
but he will come back to see you. If he turns out well, as there is
every reason to expect, he will be our heir. If we, perchance, should
have children, he will share equally with them; but if he should not
reward our care, we should give him, when he comes of age, a sum of
twenty thousand francs, which shall be deposited immediately in his
name, with a notary. As we have thought also of you, we should pay you,
until your death, a pension of one hundred francs a month. Have you
quite understood me?"
The woman had arisen, furious.
"You want me to sell you Charlot? Oh, no, that's not the sort of thing
to ask of a mother! Oh, no! That would be an abomination!"
The man, grave and deliberate, said nothing; but approved of what his
wife said by a continued nodding of his head.
Mme. d'Hubieres, in dismay, began to weep, and turning to her husband,
with a voice full of tears, the voice of a child used to having all its
wishes gratified, she stammered:
"They will not do it, Henri, they will not do it."
Then he made a last attempt: "But, my friends, think of the child's
future, of his happiness, of----"
The peasant woman, however, exasperated, cut him short:
"It's all considered! It's all understood! Get out of this, and don't
let me see you here again--the idea of wanting to take away a child like
that!"
Then Mme. d'Hubieres bethought herself that there were two children,
quite little, and she asked, through her tears, with the tenacity of a
wilful and spoiled woman:
"But is the other little one not yours?"
Father Tuvache answered: "No, it is our neighbors'. You can go to them,
if you wish." And he went back into his house whence resounded the
indignant voice of his wife.
The Vallins were at table, in the act of slowly eating slices of bread
which they parsimoniously spread with a little rancid butter on a plate
between the two.
M. d'Hubieres recommenced his propositions, but with more insinuations,
more oratorical precautions, more guile.
The two country people shook their heads, in sign of refusal, but when
they learned that they were to have a hundred francs a month, they
considered, consulting one another by glances, much disturbed. They kept
silent for a long time, tortured, hesitating. At last the woman asked:
"What do you think about it, man?" In a sententious tone he said: "I say
that it's not to be despised."
Then Mme. d'Hubieres, trembling with anguish, spoke of the future of
their child, of his happiness, and of the money which he could give them
later.
The peasant asked: "This pension of twelve hundred francs, will it be
promised before a notary?"
M. d'Hubieres responded: "Why, certainly, beginning with to-morrow."
The woman, who was thinking it over, continued:
"A hundred francs a month is not enough to deprive us of the child. That
child would be working in a few years; we must have a hundred and twenty
francs."
Stamping with impatience, Mme. d'Hubieres granted it at once, and as she
wished to carry off the child with her, she gave a hundred francs as a
present, while her husband drew up a writing. And the young woman,
radiant, carried off the howling brat, as one carries away a wished-for
knick-knack from a shop.
The Tuvaches, from their door, watched her departure; mute, severe,
perhaps regretting their refusal.
Nothing more was heard of little Jean Vallin. The parents went to the
notary every month to collect their hundred and twenty francs, and they
were angry with their neighbors, because Mother Tuvache grossly insulted
them, repeating without ceasing from door to door, that one must be
unnatural to sell one's child; that it was horrible, nasty, and many
other vile expressions. Sometimes she would take her Chariot in her arms
with ostentation, exclaiming, as if he understood:
"I didn't sell _you_, I didn't! I didn't sell _you_, my little one! I'm
not rich, but I don't sell my children!"
The Vallins lived at their ease, thanks to the pension. That was the
cause of the inappeasable fury of the Tuvaches, who had remained
miserably poor. Their eldest son went away into service; Charlot alone
remained to labor with his old father, to support the mother and two
younger sisters which he had.
He had reached twenty-one years, when, one morning, a brilliant carriage
stopped before the two cottages. A young gentleman, with a gold watch
chain, got out, giving his hand to an aged, white-haired lady. The old
lady said to him: "It is there, my child, at the second house." And he
entered the house of the Vallins, as if he were at home.
The old mother was washing her aprons; the infirm father slumbered at
the chimney-corner. Both raised their heads, and the young man said:
"Good morning, papa; good morning, mamma!"
They both stood up, frightened. In a flutter, the peasant woman dropped
her soap into the water, and stammered:
"Is it you, my child? Is it you, my child?"
He took her in his arms and hugged her, repeating: "Good morning,
mamma," while the old man, all in a tremble, said, in his calm tone
which he never lost: "Here you are, back again, Jean," as if he had seen
him a month before.
When they had got to know one another again the parents wished to take
their boy out through the neighborhood, and show him. They took him to
the mayor, to the deputy, to the cure, and to the schoolmaster.
Charlot, standing on the threshold of his cottage, watched him pass.
In the evening, at supper, he said to the old people: "You must have
been stupid to let the Vallins's boy be taken."
The mother answered, obstinately: "I wouldn't sell _my_ child."
The father said nothing. The son continued:
"It is unfortunate to be sacrificed like that." Then Father Tuvache, in
an angry tone, said:
"Are you going to reproach us for having kept you?" And the young man
said, brutally:
"Yes, I reproach you for having been such simpletons. Parents like you
make the misfortune of their children. You deserve that I should leave
you."
The old woman wept over her plate. She moaned, as she swallowed the
spoonfuls of soup, half of which she spilled: "One may kill one's self
to bring up children."
Then the boy said, roughly: "I'd rather not have been born than be what
I am. When I saw the other my heart stood still. I said to myself: 'See
what I should have been now!'" He arose: "See here, I feel that I would
do better not to stay here, because I should bring it up against you
from morning till night, and I should make your life miserable. I shall
never forgive you that, you know!"
The two old people were silent, downcast, in tears.
He continued: "No, the thought of that would be too hard. I'd rather go
look for a living somewhere else."
He opened the door. A sound of voices entered. The Vallins were
celebrating the return of their child.
XI
PROVIDENCE AND MRS. URMY
The Story of an International Marriage
By ARMIGER BARCLAY and OLIVER SANDYS
LADY HARTLEY (_nee_ Miss Persis Van Ness) gave a little gasp. In her
excitement the paper rustled noisily to her knee.
"O-h! Have you seen this?" She shot the _Morning Post_ across the
breakfast table to Mrs. Rufus P. Urmy, with her finger marking a
paragraph.
Mrs. Urmy glanced at it. "I guess it ought to corral him right away,"
she said, with the merest suspicion of embarrassment. "You see, it's
Jeannette's last chance. Two seasons in England and never a catch, so
I----"
"_You_ did it?" Lady Hartley looked at her friend in round-eyed wonder.
"I--I had to do something," allowed Mrs. Urmy, with a dawning suspicion
that perhaps she had, after all, run afoul of British conventions, which
she found as difficult of comprehension as her regular morning study of
Debrett.
"But Jeannette!"
"That's so. Jeannette'll raise Cain." Mrs. Urmy got up from the table.
"It's this a-way, Persis. I reckon I fixed your little affair up with
Lord Hartley to home, and you've got to thank me for it. Now, I'm trying
to do the same for my girl. She can't, or she won't, play her own hand.
Every chance she's had she's let slide, and I allow she's got to marry a
title before I go back to the States. Some one's got to hustle when
Providence isn't attending to business, and as there's nobody else to do
it, I've taken on the contract." She pointed to the paragraph. "I own
up I don't see just how, but there wasn't much time, and it was the best
I could do."
Lady Hartley slowly reread the incriminating paragraph:
"A marriage has been arranged, and will shortly take place between the
Earl of Chilminster, of Sapworth Hall, Wilts, and Miss Jeannette L.
Urmy, of Boston, Massachusetts."