COCKLE. No, no!
TRIPTOLE. (_still going on_) Fourteen, fifteen--there!
COCKLE. Take up your cards again, do! You really seem to be in such a
state of confusion----
TRIPTOLE. (_trying to assume confidence_) No, not at all! (_wiping his
face with another handful of gloves, and letting them fall on stage,
then taking a large silver snuff box out of his pocket, and
mechanically opening and shutting it_)
COCKLE. (_aside_) That's uncommonly like my snuff box! (_aloud_) Let's
begin again. (_aside_) It's the very image of my snuff box! (_begins
playing_) Ten. (_throwing down his card--TRIPTOLEMUS throws down one_)
My dear sir, when you play a card, you ought to call the game.
TRIPTOLE. I beg your pardon. (_taking up his card and throwing it down
on table again_) Cribbage!
COCKLE. Nonsense, that's twenty! (_playing another card_) Twenty-five.
TRIPTOLE. (_playing another card_) Cribbage!
COCKLE. Pshaw! that makes thirty.
TRIPTOLE. (_playing another_) Cribbage!
COCKLE. Nonsense! (_looking at his cards_) Go.
TRIPTOLE. What, sir?
COCKLE. I can't come in, and therefore I say, go.
TRIPTOLE. Very well, sir; I wish you a very good evening. (_getting up
from table_)
COCKLE. (_suddenly_) Stop a bit, sir! (_takes up the snuff box, takes
a pinch, looks at it, puts it down, then suddenly to the CAPTAIN_)
Oblige me by taking my cards for a moment.
(_gets up, the CAPTAIN takes his place, leans with his elbows on the
table, shuffling the cards and looking intently at TRIPTOLEMUS, who
again takes the red worsted comforter out of his pocket, and nervously
wipes his face with it, then lets it fall on the stage among the
gloves--during this COCKLETOP has run to the card table where BUNNY is
playing, grasps him suddenly by the arm and drags him forward_)
BUNNY. What's the matter now?
COCKLE. Hush! Who is he--who is he?--that individual there? (_pointing
to TRIPTOLEMUS_)
BUNNY. Playing at cribbage?
COCKLE. Yes; you _may_ well called it _cribbage!_ he's cribbed my
paletot, my snuff box, my comforter, my sixteen pairs of gloves!
(_pointing to gloves on the floor_)
BUNNY. (_suddenly_) _And_ my wig!
COCKLE. Hush, no noise; everything must be done quietly. (_beckons the
GUESTS mysteriously, who advance, wondering, points to TRIPTOLEMUS,
then in a low tone_) Take care of your pockets! (_astonishment among
the GUESTS_)
CAPT. H. (_who has finished shuffling the cards, slamming the pack
violently on the table_) Now, sir!
(_TRIPTOLEMUS who has been nervously watching the whispering between
BUNNY and COCKLETOP gives a violent start, and his wig, which is very
much pulled over his eyes, falls forward on the table_)
CAPT. H. (_recognizing him, and in a voice of thunder_) Mrs.
Longshanks!
(_TRIPTOLEMUS jumps up from the table, flings the wig in the CAPTAIN'S
face and bolts, pursued by the CAPTAIN--cries of "Police! stop him!
&c., &c." from BUNNY and the GUESTS--TRIPTOLEMUS rushes towards C., is
met by LUKE, JONATHAN, and PHOEBE--turns, sees the window, tries to
get over the table to it, is caught and pulled back by the
CAPTAIN--TRIPTOLEMUS grasping the table cloth, it is pulled off and
the contents scattered about--general confusion, &c., &c._)
COCKLE. Triptolemus!
BUNNY. _That_ your nephew from Cambridge!--_that_ my daughter's
husband--never!
CARO. Never!
CAPT. H. Never!
PHOEBE. Never!
TRIPTOLE. Never! Uncle Cockletop, Bunny, male and female company, I've
found a wife for myself, and here she is. My own dear Phoebe! (_taking
her hand_) It was for her that I left Cambridge; it was to see _her_
that I went to Cranbourne-alley, when I was suddenly singled out for
destruction by that infuriated hippopotamus there! (_to CAPTAIN_)
CAPT. H. Because I thought you were giving chase to sister Arabella.
TRIPTOLE. Then that's why you gave me chase through Leicester Square,
up Compton Street?
CAPT. H. Not I!
COCKLE. No--that was me.
TRIPTOLE. Miss Bunny, I've a notion you won't break your heart about
me--ha, ha! take your hippopotamus; take care he don't shiver his
timbers! Bunny, your hand. Phoebe, yours! (_to audience_) May I
venture to ask for _yours?_
Curtain.
Printed by Thomas Scott, 1, Warwick Court, Holborn.