COCKLE. (_in a maudlin pathetic tone to CAROLINE_) He's very poorly
indeed, miss. (_TRIPTOLEMUS seems struck by the voice_)
CARO. (_with indifference_) Who, sir?
COCKLE. My nephew, Triptolemus.
TRIPTOLE. (_aside_) Uncle Cockletop! if he recognizes me, up goes the
donkey--I mean the monkey! (_pulling his wig more over his eyes_)
COCKLE. (_to HARDAPORT_) Very hard, ain't it, sir, after coming up all
the way from Cambridge on the wings of love.
TRIPTOLE. (_aside, in an agony_) There are circumstances under which a
nephew ought to be allowed to strangle his uncle.
COCKLE. I repeat, very hard; ain't it, sir?
CAPT. H. (_sharply_) Very indeed!
COCKLE. Bless you! (_making an ineffectual attempt to grasp the
CAPTAIN'S hand_) Bless you again!
BUNNY. (_to COCKLETOP_) Be quiet, do! Sit down and have a quiet game
of cards--that gentleman will play with you, I'm sure! (_meaning
TRIPTOLEMUS--pushes COCKLETOP into other chair of card table_)
COCKLE. (_shuffling the cards and addressing TRIPTOLEMUS, who pulls
his wig still more over his eyes_) What shall we play at, sir?
TRIPTOLE. (_bewildered_) Sir! (_finding a red worsted comforter in the
paletot wipes his face with it_)
COCKLE. What say you to picquet? I'm rather partial to casino!
TRIPTOLE. Well, I went to one _once;_ but I didn't much like it.
CAPT. H. Ha, ha, ha! (_laughing_) Not bad. (_TRIPTOLEMUS rises from
his chair, and makes him a low bow_)
COCKLE. (_to TRIPTOLEMUS_) Once more, sir, what shall it be?
TRIPTOLE. Don't you think "Beat my neighbour out of doors," rather a
pretty game?
COCKLE. No, no; perhaps you won't object to say cribbage?
TRIPTOLE. Certainly not, sir, if it will gratify you. Cribbage--I'll
say it again--cribbage!
CAPT. H. Ha, ha, ha! good again! (_TRIPTOLEMUS rises and makes another
bow to the CAPTAIN_)
COCKLE. Now, then, to see who deals. (_cuts the cards_) I wish you'd
cut, sir.
TRIPTOLE. (_aside_) I wish I could.
COCKLE. Perhaps you'll deal, sir. Ah, me! I only wish I was sitting
down to cribbage now with my poor dear Triptolemus!
CAPT. H. (_savagely_) So do I!
(_TRIPTOLEMUS during this has gone on dealing nearly all the cards in
the pack in one heap on the table_)
COCKLE. Holloa, that's wrong! I'll deal for you. (_to TRIPTOLEMUS, as
he deals the cards_) Do you know, sir, you are something like my poor
nephew.
(_the CAPTAIN looks intently in TRIPTOLEMUS'S face, who nervously
wipes his face with a handful of gloves, which he lets fall on the
stage, instead of returning them to the pocket of his paletot_)
COCKLE. (_aside_) He's got a paletot uncommonly like mine. (_throwing
out two cards for the crib--TRIPTOLEMUS, who watches him, does the
same--COCKLETOP then cuts the cards_) Now, sir, it's for you to turn
up.
TRIPTOLE. (_bothered_) Turn up! Suppose you turn up first, sir, and
let me see how you do it.