the quick. I determinedly usurped a mother's privilege in regard to
the situation, and glancing back over my barren life I would that I
had been mother of just such a son. What a kingdom 'twould have been;
and, in the order of things, being forced to surrender him to
another's keeping, I could not have chosen a better or more suitable
than Dawn. Entering his principality to reign as queen, while his
manhood was yet an unsacked stronghold, she was of the character and
determination to steer him in the way of uprightness to the end.
Wistfulness upsprung as I reviewed my empty life, but rude reality
suddenly uprose and obliterated ideality. It put on the scroll a
picture of motherhood, and mother-love wantonly squandered, trodden in
the mire, and, instead of being recognised as a kingdom, treated only
as a weakness, and traded upon to enslave women. I turned with a sigh,
and we walked round a corner of the garden where, in one recent
instance, appallingly common, a poor frail woman had crept out in the
dead of night to pay alone the penalty of a crime incurred by two--one
foolish and weak, the other murderously selfishly a coward.
I addressed Ernest Breslaw regarding the painful effect this tragedy
had produced on the mind of Dawn, and how it had been further
overstrung by the later one, and concluded--
"Had I expressed my inward feelings in outward actions at Dawn's age,
and being armed with a dish of water, to have thrown it on the nearest
individual would have been a very mild ebullition; but I set my teeth
against outward expression and let it fester in my heart, while the
beauty of Dawn's disposition is that her feelings all come out. She
has disgraced herself by making outward demonstration of what many
inwardly feel; but understanding what I have put before you, you must
not hold the girl responsible for her action."
With masculine simplicity he was unable to comprehend the complexity
of feminine emotions engendered by the exigencies of the more
artificial and suppressed conditions of life as forced upon women.
"I understand about old Rooney; I feel as disgusted with him as any
one does, but _I_ am not going to emulate him. I'd jolly well cut my
throat first; and if I could lay my hand on the snake at the root of
the drowning case, I'd make one to roast him alive! What made Miss
Dawn confound me with that sort?"
"She doesn't for an instant do so. On the contrary, she would be the
first to repudiate such a suggestion."
"Good Lord! then why did she throw that stuff on me? It was only fit
for a criminal."
"Can you not grasp that she was irritated beyond endurance with the
unwholesomeness of the whole system of life in relation to women, and
that for the moment you appeared as one of the army of oppressors?"
"But that isn't fair! _I_ know enough of women--some women--to make
one shudder with repulsion; but there would be no sense or justice in
venting my disgust on you or the other good ones," he contended.
"Quite so; but our moral laws are such that some issues are more
repulsive to a woman than a man, and you must admit there are heavy
arguments could be brought in extenuation of Dawn's attitude of mind
when the water slipped out of her hand."
"There's no doubt women do have to swallow a lot," he said.
"You don't feel so angry on account of the impetuous Dawn's act now,
do you?"
"It doesn't look so bad in the teeth of your argument, and if she
would only say something to explain, I won't mind; but otherwise I'll
have sense to make myself scarce in this neighbourhood."
"I'm afraid her vanity will be too wounded for her to give in."
"I'll make it as easy for her as I can; but, good Lord! I can't go to
her and apologise because she threw dirty water on me."
"Well, I'll bid you good-night. I must run in to Dawn. I expect she is
sobbing her heart out by this, and biting her pretty curled lips to
relieve her feelings,--her lips that were meant for kisses, not cruel
usage."
"Good heavens! Do you really think she'll feel like that?" he asked in
astonishment.
"I'm certain."
"But I can't see why--she might have had reason had I been the
aggressor."
"If you had hurt her she would not feel half so bad. You would be a
hopeless booby if you could not understand that."
"Really, now, if I thought she would take it that way, it would make
all the difference in the world. But had she desired to despatch me,
half that energy of insult would do," he said, drawing up, while
hardness crept into his voice, but it softened again as he concluded--
"I wouldn't like her to be upset about it, though, if she didn't quite
mean it."
"Well, you can be sure that in regard to you she was very far from
meaning it, and that she will be dreadfully upset about it; so think
of what I've said, and come and see me in the morning."
Now that he had grown calm, he was shivering with the cold, so I bade
him run home.
On returning to the house I found Andrew the solitary watcher of his
charge, who, covered by an old cloak, was snoring on the kitchen sofa.
"Dear me, where are they all?"
"In bed; and look at his nibbs there. I reckon I took a wrinkle from
Dawn as how to manage him. Soon as every one's back was turned he
began actin' the goat again an' makin' for home, an' I thought here
goes, I don't care a hang if all the others roused on me like blazes,
so long as grandma don't,--she's the only one makes me sit up,--so I
flung water on him, not warm water but real cold. It took seven years'
growth out of him, an' then I gave him a drink of hot coffee, an'
undressed him, an' he was jolly glad to lay down there."
"Why, you'll give the man a cold!"
"No jolly fear. I took his clothes off. I've got 'em dryin' here. I
couldn't find any of my gear, an' wasn't game to ask Uncle Jake, so I
clapped him into a night-dress of grandma's. Look! he's got his hand
out. I reckon the frill looks all so gay, don't you? I bet grandma
will rouse, but I'll have a little peace with him now an' chance the
ducks," said the resourceful warder, whose charge really looked so
absurd that I was provoked to laughter.
"How did you manage him? Was he tractable?"
"He soon dropped that there was no good in bein' nothing else. He
spluttered something about me disgracin' him, because something on his
crest said he was brave or something; but I told him I didn't care a
hang if he had a crest the size of a cockatoo or was as bald as Uncle
Jake, that I was full of him actin' the goat, an' that finished him."
"Enough too," I laughed, as I bade the Australian lad, with the very
Australian estimate of the unimportance of some things sacred to
English minds, the Australian parting salute--
"So long!"
TWENTY.
"ALAS! HOW EASILY THINGS GO WRONG!"
On ascending to my room I did not, as expected, find Dawn sobbing, but
she had her face so determinedly turned away that I refrained from
remark. I was none the worse for the diverting incidents of the
evening, because the excitement of them had come from without instead
of within. The rush of the trains soon became a far-away sound, and
the light that flashed from their engine-doors as they climbed the
first zig of the mountain, and which could be seen from my bed, had
been shut from my sight by the fogs of approaching sleep, when I was
aroused by heart-broken sobbing from the bed by the opposite wall.
After a while I got out of bed, bent on an attempt to comfort.
"Dawn, what is it?"
"I'm sorry I waked you, I thought you were sound asleep," she said,
pulling in with a violent effort but speedily breaking into renewed
sobs.
"I was thinking of poor little Mrs Rooney-Molyneux, and how my mother
died," said the girl, rolling over and burying her lovely head in her
tear-drenched pillow. "I can't help thinking about the sadness and
cruelty of life to women."
I felt certain that a matter less deep and lying farther from the core
of being was perturbing her more, but as she chose to ignore it, I did
likewise.
"Well, we must not dwell too sadly on that for which we are not
responsible, and women are privileged in being able to repay the cost
of their being."
"Yes, I always remember that, and often shudder to think I might have
been a man, with their greater possibilities of cowardliness and
selfish cruelty, as illustrated by old Rooney and Miss Flipp's
destroyer."
Not a word concerning her action to Ernest. Thought of it stung too
much for mention, so there was nothing to do but comfort her till she
fell asleep and await from Ernest the next turn of events bearing on
the situation.
The next turn of events in the Clay household bore down upon us next
morning after breakfast when grandma came home, having left the
first-born of Rooney-Molyneux comfortably asleep in the swaddling
clothes which had contained Dawn at the date when she had been "a
little winjin' thing," with whom everything had disagreed, and which
garments were lent to the new-born babe until grandma could provide
him with others. The hale old dame was not too fatigued to be in a
state of lively ire, and opened fire upon her circle with--
"I met old Hollis on the way home, an' do you believe, he says to me,
'Well, Mrs Clay, so I believe you've took to rabbit ketchin' in your
old days.' It was like his cheek, the same as w'en he said the monkeys
would be havin' a vote next. _Rabbit ketchin'_ indeed! No wonder women
has got sense at last to make the birth-rate decline, when you see
cases like that, and even the people that go to help them out of the
fix--an' that out of kindness, not for no reward nor pleasure--is
demeaned to their face an' called _rabbit ketchers_, if you please! I
reckon all women ought to be compelled to be _rabbit ketchers_ for a
time, an' it would be such a eye-opener to them that if there wasn't
some alterations made in the tone of the whole business they would all
strike so there'd be no need of _rabbit ketchin'_, as some call it, to
make things more disagreeabler; and that's what has been goin' on
lately in a underhand way, but _some people_," concluded the
intelligent old lady with her customary choler, coming to a full stop
ere recapitulating the misdoings of these unmentionable members of
society.
"Rabbit ketching," as midwifery is contemptuously termed in the
vernacular, does require a status, and those who have need of it merit
some consideration. Civilisation, stretching up to recognise that
every child is a portion of State wealth, may presently make some
movement to recognise maternity as a business or office needing time
and strength, not as a mere passing detail thrown in among mountains
of other slavery.
During the whole forenoon I busied myself with the construction of
garments for the new arrival in this vale of woe, and at the same time
was on the alert for the commanded appearance of Ernest Breslaw.
Instead of himself he sent as messenger a well-spoken lad, who
presented Mr Ernest's compliments, and hoped that I was not feeling
any ill effects from my unusual exertion during the previous evening.
I sent a request, per return, that he should call upon me during the
afternoon, but he did not regard it. The next being Dawn's day for
Sydney, I waited for this event to hatch some progress in the case,
but upon her return she had no favours to share with me or merry tale
to tell of being taken to afternoon tea by Ernest.
Eweword figured in this account, and so prominently as to suggest that
her talk of the fun she had had with him was a little forced, so on
the following morning I took it upon myself to call upon the backward
knight in his own castle. Unmooring one of the boats, I rowed with
great caution obliquely across the stream till, reaching the desired
pier, I tethered my craft and ascended among an orange-grove laden
with its golden fruit, and between the rattling canes of the vineyard
dismantled by winter, till I reached the house where at present my
young friend sojourned, and I was thankful that bleached as well as
unfaded locks having their own peculiar privileges, I was able to make
this call with propriety.
The young gentleman was in, and without delay appeared to the
beautiful lady's self-directed and appointed ambassadress.
"I suppose I may pay you a visit," I said with a smile as he seated me
in the drawing-room which we had to ourselves. "As you didn't seem to
care whether I were dead or alive I have come over to practically
illustrate that I'm still above ground. Why did you not come to see
me?"
Ernest reddened and fidgeted, and said haltingly--
"You know if you had been ill I would have been the first to go to
you, but I knew you were quite well, and I've been so busy," he
finished lamely.
"Now, you know that I know that you have been idle--quite unendurably
idle," I retorted, a remark he received in embarrassed silence, which
endured till I broke it with--
"Well, I suppose you are waiting for me to divulge the real object of
my pilgrimage, and that is to know why you haven't kept your agreement
about making that little mistake as easy as you could for Miss Dawn.
She's fretting herself pale about it."
Ernest stood up, his colour flaming into his tanned cheeks till they
were as bright as his locks, while he made as though to speak once or
twice, but hesitated, and at length exclaimed--
"This is not fair--you must, you have no reason to bother--you," and
there he foundered. Ernest could neither lie, snub, nor evade. He was
totally devoid of all the attributes of a smart politician.
"Have you not sufficient faith in my regard for you to trust my motive
in thus apparently seeking to pry into your private life?" I asked.
"You know I think more of you than any one, and I'll tell you the
whole thing," he replied, taking a seat beside me.
"You have made a mistake in assuming that Miss Clay, or whatever her
real name might be (his indifference was well assumed), did not fully
mean her action, and I was a fool to believe you when I had more than
sufficient proof to the contrary. Yesterday morning I happened to go
to Sydney in the same train as she did, and as I happened--entirely by
chance and quite unexpectedly--to meet her on the platform, I lifted
my hat as usual to make it easy for her, and a nice fool I made of
myself. She didn't merely pretend not to see me, but hurried by me in
contempt and came back with that Eweword, who glared at me as though I
were a tramp who had attempted to molest her. I am sure you could not
expect me to go any farther than that, and I only did that because you
call her a friend of yours. Perhaps Eweword doesn't do things that
necessitate the throwing of dirty water on him. It was rather an
uncalled-for thing to do to any one. Perhaps the old dame doesn't
allow her boarders to have visitors, and that is the polite way they
have of informing one to the contrary."
The sky looked rather murky. I said nothing, having nothing ready to
say.
"Oh, by the way, I'm leaving here to-morrow for Adelaide, where I am
to play in some inter-colonial football matches against the New
Zealanders. Is there anything I could do for you over there?" he said,
as though having dismissed the other unworthy trifle from his mind.
"Going to run away because a girl, half accidentally and half out of
nervous irritation, threw a little water on you!"
There I had said what I really thought, and half expected the snub
which, according to the rules of tact, I deserved for my divergence
therefrom, but it did not come; he was a man of the field, and in this
type of encounter had not a chance against one of my perceptions.
He laughed forcedly. "That would be something to turn tail for,
wouldn't it?"
"But are you not doing so? If a beautiful girl did such a thing to me
it would only make me the more set to woo her to graciousness," I
said.
"Perhaps so, if she were some girl you specially considered, but in
the case of a passing stranger that I may never meet again, it would
not be worth wasting time, especially as her action was so uncalled
for and unwomanly."
"But you are sure to meet her again if you continue our friendship, as
I hope to have her with me, and that is why I'm taking the trouble to
thus interfere in what does not apparently concern either you or me
very much. _I_ don't consider Dawn as a passing stranger. I think her
especially honest and especially beautiful, and it worries me to think
she has thus erred. Her action was _unwomanly_, if you like, but
peculiarly feminine, with the unavoidable hysterical femininity
engendered in women by their subjected environment. Are you quite sure
you consider Dawn merely a passing stranger not worth consideration?"
I asked, looking him fair in the eyes; and the quick lowering of them
and the tightening of his mouth satisfied me that he could not
truthfully answer in the affirmative.
"It is a matter of what she considers me," he said.
"Oh, well," I said indifferently, now that I had gained my point, "it
doesn't matter to me, but I'll be sorry to lose your company, and I
thought you were taking an interest in Leslie's candidature, and we
could have enjoyed it together."
"So I do."
"Well, come back as soon as you get these matches played, and we'll
have some good times together again, and I'll keep the reprehensible
Dawn out of the way; and anyhow, remember she didn't throw _cold_
water on you, and that's something."
"Very well, I'll be back in about three weeks' time to see how Les.
gets on. Polling-day hasn't been fixed yet. I'd like to see it through
now I've started."
"Of course," said I, considering it a good move that he should
disappear for a short time, and after this he rowed me on the Noonoon
till Clay's dinner-bell sounded and I went up to eat.
That evening "Dora" Eweword came in to tea and remained afterwards.
He informed us that the red-headed chap who had been loafing around
Kelman's had gone to Europe.
"Has he? Did he tell you?" interestedly inquired Andrew.
"He mentioned that he would leave for South Australia by the express
this evening," I replied, but did not add that his going to Europe was
a little stretched.
Dawn was quiet. Her merry impudence did not enliven the company that
night, and after tea, when Eweword caught her alone for a few moments
as I was leaving the room, he said--
"So you cleared the red-headed mug out after all. Andrew says it was
alright. You won't listen to me, but you haven't chucked the wash-up
water on me yet, that's one thing." His complacence was very
pronounced. To his surprise Dawn made no reply, but biting her lip to
keep back her tears, walked out of the room, and in the dark of the
passage smote her dimpled palms together, exclaiming--
"Would to heaven I had thrown the water over this galoot instead of
_him_," and the thermometer of "Dora's" self-satisfaction fell
considerably when she did not appear again that evening.
That night, when the waning moon got far enough on her westward way to
surmount the old house on the knoll beside the Noonoon and cast its
shadow in the deep clear water, the silver beams strayed through a
little window facing the great ranges, and found the features of a
beautiful sleeper disfigured by weeping; but youth's rest was sound
despite the tear-stains, and the old moon smiled at such ephemeral
sorrow. The night wind coming down the gorges with the river sighed
along the valley as the moon remembered all the faces which, though
tearless under her nocturnal inspection, yet were pale from the inward
sobs, only giving outward evidence in bleaching locks and shadowy
eyes. Even within sound of the engines roaring down the spur, many of
the little night-wrapped houses, hard set upon the plain, had inmates
kept from sleep by deeper sorrows than Dawn had ever known.
The first fortnight of Ernest's absence, believed by his doubting
young lady to be final, was a stirring time in Noonoon, and
particularly full at Clay's. Jam-making was the star item on the
latter's domestic bill. Baskets and baskets of golden oranges and
paler lemons and shaddocks were converted into jam and marmalade, and
ranged on the shelves of the already replete storehouse, in readiness
to tempt the summer palate of the week-end boarders which should
appear when the days stretched out again. We were occupied in this
business to such an extent that the sight of oranges became a
weariness, and Andrew averred that the very name of marmalade gave him
the pip.
At night we enjoyed the diversion of the meetings, and talk and gossip
of them made conversation for the days. The previously mentioned
political addresses were but mild fanfares by comparison with the
flamboyance of the gasconading now in progress, and in its reports of
these bursts of oratory the 'Noonoon Advertiser' gave further evidence
of its broad-minded liberality.
"Mrs Gas Ranter," it reported, "addressed a packed meeting in the
Citizens' Hall last night, and proved herself the best public speaker
who has been heard in Noonoon during the present campaign," &c. It
recognised worth, and gamely gave the palm to the deserving,
irrespective of party or sex,--did not so much as insert the narrow
quibble that she was the best for a woman.
Among other incidents, the lady canvassers called at Clay's and
received a piece of grandma's mind.
"Thanks; I don't want no one to tell me how to vote. I've rared two or
three families and gave a hand with more, and have intelligence the
same as others, and at my time of my life don't want no one to tell me
my business. I reckon I could tell a good many others how to vote."
The pity of it was that it was immaterial how any electors cast their
vote. Neither party had a sensible grip of affairs, and besides, love
of country in a patriotic way is not a trait engendered in
Australians. In politics, as in private life, all is selfishness. The
city people thought only of building a greater Sydney, the residents
of Noonoon and other little towns had mind for nothing but their own
small centre,--all seeing no farther than their noses, or that what
directly benefited their little want might not be good for the country
at large, and that legislature must, to be successful, better the
living conditions of the masses, not merely of one class or section.
Then city men, unacquainted with the practical working of the land,
could not possibly handle the land question effectively, and,
moreover, a man might understand how to manage the coastal district
and remain at sea regarding the great areas west of the watershed.
Another big mistake lay in over representation of the city and the
under representation of the man on the land. The producer should be
the first care, and while he is woefully disregarded and
ill-considered a country cannot thrive. The reason of this state of
affairs was the division of electorates on a population basis. This
meant that a city electorate covered a very small area, and that
practically all its wants were attended by the municipality, so that
the city member had leisure to ply the trade of merchant, doctor, or
barrister within a few minutes of the house of parliament; whereas the
country member, to become acquainted with the vast area he represented
and the requirements of its inhabitants and attend parliamentary
sittings, had no time left to be anything but a member of parliament,
precariously depending upon re-election for a livelihood.
Dawn threw herself into the contest with great enthusiasm, and also
industriously pursued her vocal studies, but for her was exceptionally
subdued and inclined to be cross on the smallest provocation. She had
become so engrossed in political meetings that "Dora" Eweword, who was
continually at Clay's since the retreat of Ernest, one day
remonstrated with her. She had made a political meeting the excuse for
declining to go rowing with him, whereupon he remarked--
"Oh, leave 'em to the old maids, Dawn. You'll grow into a scarecrow
that would frighten any man away if you hang on to politics much
more."
"Well, if it would frighten _some_ men away, I'd go in for them twice
as much," snapped the girl. "I suppose you admire the style of girls
who are going around now saying, after some straightforward women have
said what we all feel and got the vote, 'Oh, I don't care for the
vote. Let men rule; they are the stronger vessel. Politics don't
belong to women,' and so on. You'd think me a sweet little womanly
dear if I croaked like that; but you keep your brightest eye on that
sort of a squarker, and for all her noise about being content with her
rights, you'll see that she takes more than her share of the good of
the reforms that other women have worked for."