weathercock was yours?' 'Yes, I do,' said the youngster, 'because I
believe it was mine.' 'Then,' replied B., 'you lie!' Before G. could
speak, W. said to B., 'If you say that the shot was _yours_, it is you
that lie!' Instantly B. got up and rushed at W., who remained calmly
seated. He warded off the blow aimed at his head by B., and said, 'That
will do, B.; I understand you, and I will not disappoint you.' At
gun-fire the next morning these two men stood opposite to each other at
twelve paces. At the first exchange of shots W.'s cap was shot through,
and the buckle of B.'s waist-belt was cut away, but neither party
sustained any personal injury. The second shots were both misses,
neither party being touched. The third exchange of fire were both hits,
but still only coats and buttons suffered. Both men were desirous to
have another exchange of fire, but their seconds refused to allow the
matter to proceed; they added, that unless their principals chose to go
into the jungle by themselves, they would not permit another shot to be
fired.
The two men still remained on the ground dissatisfied, nor did they
move until Colonel D. made his appearance. He had been made cognizant of
what had been done, and all he said as he rode on to the ground was
this: 'Gentlemen, any attempt to carry this further places both of you
in arrest. Both of you know me; good-morning. Adjutant, you will see my
orders strictly carried out, and tell Captain B. that he has my orders
to proceed on his road within an hour.'
Young G., who was a plucky young fellow, though, as W. knew, wholly
unacquainted with the use of the pistol, had been almost in a state of
frenzy throughout the business. He swore he would follow B. and have him
out wherever he could find him, till W. got him to calm down, and
Colonel D. explained to him that he must place him in arrest and report
him to the General commanding the division, if he did not give him his
word of honour not to stir further in the matter. At first the young lad
refused to pledge himself as required, but his refusal was as respectful
as it was manly. His words were: 'How can I do that, sir? I have been
called a liar publicly; surely no one who has the honour to bear her
Majesty's commission can put up with that! and besides, the life of a
valued and respected friend has, from his chivalrous generosity, been
placed in danger to shield me, which, though I am deeply grateful for
it, makes me blush, and places me in rather a humiliating position. It's
no use for you, Godfrey, to shake your head and deny it. I know
perfectly well why you anticipated me.'
He had in the few days he had been with W. learned to regard him as an
elder brother, and, by his own request, to address him as the others
did. W. and the Colonel looked at one another as young Gascoigne spoke,
and when he had finished the Colonel said: 'The words you have spoken
and the sentiments they convey do you credit, Mr. G., but you mistake
if you suppose that either I or your friend Godfrey wish you to put up
tamely with the gross insult that has been offered to you. I will obtain
for you from Captain B. a proper apology, and at the same time I will
take care that it is publicly known that I only obtained your promise to
proceed no further in this matter on this assurance.' 'Well, sir, as you
take so kind an interest in my good name, and will undertake to let it
be known that there was the strongest wish on my part to right myself in
the way that is usual amongst gentlemen, I will give you my word to do
nothing more, especially as I see that Godfrey wishes me to do so.'
'That's a sensible lad,' said the Colonel: and Godfrey added, 'Yes, I do
wish it; and you may rest assured that I should not do so were I not
sure that your good name is perfectly safe in Colonel D.'s hands, who
has acted on this occasion as he always acts.' 'Godfrey! Godfrey!' said
Colonel D., 'I shall have to arrest your body, to arrest your tongue!'
'Well, that is hard,' returned W., laughing. 'This is the second time in
one morning that I have been threatened with arrest by you.' 'All your
own fault,' returned the Colonel, smiling. 'I must do my duty and obey
the orders of the service, though other people choose to set a bad
example and do otherwise.' 'There,' said W., 'you see, G., what military
service is: you are liable to get it on both sides of the face before
you can turn round.' 'Well,' said G., 'if this is getting it on both
sides of the face, I trust that my commandant will be like Colonel D.;
but that's too much good luck to expect.' Colonel D. again laughed, and
said, 'You've got too much talk, young man,' though he was evidently
pleased with the compliment. 'You've been in Ireland, I fancy.' 'No, I
haven't, Colonel,' replied young G.; 'but I should like very much to go
there, for a time at least.' 'I don't think,' said Colonel D., turning
to W., 'that your young friend has any great need to go there to learn
one of the accomplishments said to be in fashion there.'
So the three adjourned in high good humour with all the world to the
parade ground, where a coursing match was to come off between two famous
dogs. I will spare the reader a description of the beautiful form of
these two canine heroes; it is enough to say that they were marvellously
fine greyhounds, and that they killed in the most approved fashion, in
spite of all the efforts and doubles of the poor hares. I must further
confess that I was much more interested for these harmless creatures
than I was for the dogs, though I dare say their performance was
matchless in its way; so, at least, it was on all hands pronounced to
be. I sank many degrees in the estimation of my regimental friends, I
believe, for expressing unreservedly this opinion. The young lads could
not understand how any man, even a doctor, could feel no interest in the
performance of two such magnificent dogs as Juno and Jupiter. I admitted
the merits and beauties of their canine friends--indeed, no one could
admire them more than I did. Still, I could not enter into their
feelings, nor share in their delight at seeing the hares writhing in
agony in the fangs of Jupiter or Juno.
'You don't like fishing, you say, and we see you don't like coursing.
What do you like?' 'To hunt the fox, or the jackal, or the wolf, I
should think glorious sport.' 'Then,' said M., 'why don't you go out
with us in the morning? Whenever we can get a chance we go after
jackals. Foxes are rare, and wolves never let us get within rifle
distance.' 'Besides,' said S., 'we can't afford to knock our horses off
their legs, which we should do if we tried to run down those brutes so
as to get within shot.' 'You know,' returned I, 'that in the morning I
am not my own master. I have my hospital to attend, my patients to
visit and prescribe for, to enter all cases in the journal and
casebook, as well as to see that all other hospital books are kept up to
date. Perhaps my superintending surgeon might not be altogether pleased
if he heard (and these things do travel in an extraordinary way) that I
postponed my visit to the hospital till after I had had my run with the
dogs; and perhaps the Colonel might not altogether approve of my setting
at naught the standing orders of the service, and before his face too.'
'You are quite right,' said W., 'you may rest assured that the Colonel
would not approve of any such thing; indeed, he could not.' 'What's
that, W., that the Colonel wouldn't and couldn't do?' said Colonel D.,
who, as he came up, had overheard the last part of W.'s remarks. These
were explained to him, and what led to them. His comment was, 'Boys will
be boys. The Doctor has acted perfectly right; he could not ride with us
in the morning, as the standing orders lay it down precisely that he
shall visit his hospital at certain hours, and these would, if we found
anything, be just the hours when we should be at the best of the chase;
and if he wished ever so much to join us I should not allow him to do
so, and W. is quite correct in what he said.' This settled the question,
and took away any distant hope I might indulge that the Colonel might
now and then take no notice of any infraction of the standing orders as
to the time of visiting the hospital. I departed, sorrowing that fate
had destined me to be medical instead of military purely.
The subject of sport was, with my young friends especially, a
never-ending one, constantly renewed, and still beginning. On my return
from Bangalore, to which place I was called under circumstances so
peculiar that I think the recital will repay perusal, although they
necessitate a digression, and have nothing to do with sport, which is at
present my legitimate theme, the possibility of my joining in the
sporting was again introduced.
On account of the marriage of her brother's wife's sister, Miss S., my
wife had gone to Bangalore and was to return to the F. Rocks in a few
days. I was, in fact, anxiously looking for a letter to say on what day
I might expect her. Instead of this, I received from her brother a
communication stating that it was his and the Garrison-surgeon's opinion
that if I wanted to see her again alive, I must start with the least
possible delay for Bangalore. With tears in my eyes, and this letter in
my hand, I went at once to Colonel D., who in the kindest way took on
himself the responsibility of giving me permission to go. At the time,
very luckily, there were no sick of any importance--some slight cases of
fever, and some chronic cases there were in hospital which the dresser
could treat. No officers sick, no children--I mean European
children--sick or well, in the cantonment, and no lady, except Mrs. G.,
who had but lately been married, and was in perfect health. But the F.
Rocks was a single station, and if any accident occurred, or sudden
sickness broke out, no medical officer was to be had nearer than
Bangalore. For at this time there was no Durbar surgeon at Mysore,
fifteen miles off, and the dwelling-place of the Rajah. These
circumstances being considered, to let me leave the cantonment was
really taking on himself a serious responsibility which the General
himself declined to incur. Bangalore was 87 miles from the F. Rocks, and
the question was how to get there in the shortest time. Here was seen
the brotherly feeling cherished in this regiment. I had no sooner made
known my difficulty than almost every man of those present offered me
his horses. I had two of my own, which I sent on, so that the one was to
halt twenty miles from the station, the second forty; of the borrowed
horses, one was to go with me the first twenty miles. With this help I
started a little before gun-fire, and reached Bangalore about 4 p.m.,
and found that there was no need for anxiety; my wife had suffered from
a severe hysterical attack, and was well enough to ride out that very
evening. I was too much delighted at the condition in which I found her
to find fault with a mistake which had in the end given me so much
pleasure. The next morning I waited on the General, and the dialogue
that took place was so peculiar that I shall endeavour to present it to
my readers in its integrity, so far as my memory will allow me.
'Good-morning, General. I trust you will be kind enough to excuse the
absence of the proper costume, as I had no time to put in any change of
dress, I came off in such a hurry, General.' 'And where have you come
from, sir?' 'From the F. Rocks, General G.' 'From the F. Rocks? Who gave
you leave?' 'Colonel D., my commandant, General.' 'He gave you leave,
did he? He has no power to do so.' 'I am here, General, to explain the
circumstances.' 'Oh, you are here to explain the circumstances,'
observed the General. 'Well, you'll be clever if you can explain how
Colonel D. is authorized to take upon himself my duties. Let me hear,
sir; but are you not the Assistant-Surgeon in medical charge of the
regiment?' (The old gentleman had by this time recalled my features.)
'Yes, General.' 'How, then, did you presume to quit your charge without
any provision having been made for the carrying on of the duties
devolving on you?' 'Have the goodness to read that letter, General G.'
'It seems rather a long one; can't you give me the contents?'
'Certainly, General. It states, on the authority of the Garrison-Surgeon
and Dr. L., that if I want to see my wife alive again I must lose not an
hour in proceeding here. I showed this letter to Colonel D, and he very
kindly allowed me to proceed hither. I rode in yesterday in twelve
hours, but happily there was no occasion for me to have done so, as my
wife is quite well; the attack was hysterical only, though it looked so
serious. And now, having reported myself, and the unusual reasons for my
being here, I beg that you will be kind enough to give me one day's
leave to post back my horses.' 'The best thing I can do for you is not
to know that you are here.' Then turning his chair round, he said, 'I
don't see you; I don't know that you are here.' 'But, General, pray give
me one day's leave, or I shall not be able to post my horses so as to
divide the distances on the road.' 'I don't hear you, nor know that you
are here; if I knew who you were, and that you had left your charge
without any proper leave, it would be my duty to place you under arrest;
but as I don't know who you are, or where you come from, or indeed
anything about you, you see I can't do it.' 'But, General, I----' 'Don't
say anything; I might find out who you are, and might be compelled to
act on that knowledge. Now, I haven't seen you, and know not who you
are, or where you come from, or anything else.' 'Once more let me
entreat of you, General G.----' 'How many times must I repeat that I
neither see, nor hear, nor know, that anyone is here? If I did, it could
only be unpleasant for us both. I not only don't see or hear, but I am
determined not to see or hear, or to know anything about you; so whoever
you may be, return at once to the place from whence you came, and let me
have no communication on the subject, of which, indeed, I am wholly
ignorant and uninformed.' 'Permit me to wish you good-morning, General?'
'No, I can't permit anything to a stranger, and one I know nothing
about. But as a courtesy one might offer to a stranger, I wish you
good-morning.'
I rode home meditating on the mysteries of red-tape, but without being
able to fathom them. Why should it be more orthodox to pretend to be
ignorant of that which was perfectly well known, than it would be to
admit the knowledge, and to say, 'Well, I am glad to learn that there
is now no reason for anxiety; get back as fast as possible, and I will
take no notice of the irregularity'? The need for enacting a palpable
farce sorely puzzled me, and I went back to my brother-in-law's house to
report the ill-success of my application. Then it was settled that I
should lie _perdu_ for the day, during which time I could post back the
horses, and could start at gun-fire, or a little earlier, on my return
to the F. Rocks. It was hard to leave my young wife, whom I idolized,
after being with her only one day; but I had taken the shilling, and
therefore it was a case of 'no compulsion, only you must.' So, after
many kisses and moist eyes, I started just as the gun fired, and I rode
into the mess compound at the F. Rocks just as the second bugle was
sounding. There was a shout of welcome, and eager inquiries from all
present after the state of my wife's health. Everyone heartily
congratulated me on the letter being merely a false alarm. Then the
dinner came, and I did great honour to it, being not a little hungry
after my return ride, on which I received many compliments; the riding
nearly 180 miles in two days with but one between was regarded as
something of an equestrian achievement, and my pluck was commended
accordingly.
This led to a renewal of the invitation, on the part of the younger men,
to join them in their cheetah and tiger expeditions, which at first,
being no ball shot, I was not anxious to do. No one likes to exhibit his
want of skill in any exercise or pastime, and therefore I declined. My
young friends, either out of playful malice, or out of an unacknowledged
unwritten belief that medical men, not being combatant officers, are not
equal to them in courage, overwhelmed me with banter and chaff (as the
phrase now is) of all kinds. I cannot remember a tithe of it, but it was
in the main something of this kind: 'Don't say any more, Bob; the Doctor
is a clever fellow; he knows as well how to take care of himself as to
whip off a fellow's leg, don't you, Doctor?' and before I could reply to
this jibe B. said, 'Don't forget, all of you, what an important
personage the Doctor is. If he was chawed up, what should we do? But if
half a dozen of us poor devils came to grief that way it wouldn't much
signify. We are paid for being shot, or for being ready to be disposed
of; we are, in the customary phrase, "only food for powder and shot,"
and you see that's not the case with the Doctor.' Turning from one to
the other as they discharged their little shafts, I was silly enough to
get very angry, and my indignation broke out thus: 'Confound you, what
has led you to make this dead set at me? If you fancy that I value my
life one bit more than any one of you, you make a very great mistake,
and you will compel me to give one of you an unpleasant proof of it if
I'm to be subject to more of this kind of conversation.'
No one said anything, but the Colonel wore a broad grin on his face, and
W. laughed immoderately. I was now in a towering passion. I got up,
saying, 'I haven't often been your guest at mess, gentlemen, and I can't
say I think my welcome on this occasion such as to induce me to intrude
on your hospitality again.' W. started up and caught hold of my arm,
saying, 'Surely you are not so silly as to take offence at a little
harmless chaff? not one of us would intentionally say or do anything to
hurt or annoy you. I really thought there was more manly stability in
you than to fly off in this way.' 'And, pray,' said I, 'what have I said
or done to give cause for your fit of laughter?' 'It was your getting so
angry that amused me, but as you have taken it so much amiss, I am
really sorry for it,' at the same time, with an open frank smile,
offering his hand. Who could resist W.? I heartily shook his hand, and
said, 'W., you make me ashamed of having shown such want of temper, but
these young good-for-nothing scamps here, with their jibes one after
the other, threw me off my balance for the moment.'
J., one of the three men who had been chief jokers, then said, 'But,
Doctor, you ought to have known that if we had really suspected that
there was anything of the white feather connected with your not joining
us in our expeditions, we shouldn't have thought you worth poking fun
at, and should never have cared whether you went out with us or not.'
'Pray say no more; I am convinced that I was hasty, and in the wrong to
get so angry!' 'Now,' said the Colonel, 'after what the Doctor has
admitted, let's say no more on the subject.' 'One word more, if you
please, Colonel; I wish to prove to all my friends here that they did
not judge me wrongly. The very next time you go after cheetah or tiger,
I will go with you' (a shout of approval). 'Well said, Doctor!' 'I will
lend you a rifle,' said W. 'Or I, or I,' said M. and S. 'And I, if I had
one to lend,' said B., 'but as I haven't, all I can offer is a pith-hat
with a brim as large as an umbrella, and if that doesn't of itself
frighten the tiger, he must be a peculiarly unapprehensive beast; and
I'll venture a trifle that the Doctor does more execution with the hat
than he would with the gun, although he is such a peppery gentleman.'
'The pepper is all out of me now, B., and you may say whatever you like;
and I would accept your redoubtable pith-hat, had I not one of my own.
Besides that, I couldn't think of depriving you of such a powerful
weapon, so if you mount your hat and have your rifle in your hand, you
will be doubly armed, and will no doubt do double execution.' 'By Jove!'
said B., 'the pepper isn't all out of you yet.' 'But you will take my
rifle?' said W.; 'if you bring the double-sights in a line with the
object, you can't miss him.' 'Best thanks, W., but as I am altogether
unpractised, I shall go out without a gun or weapon of any kind, not
even my friend B.'s pith-hat.' 'On my word, Doctor,' said the Colonel,
'that's the wisest resolution you could come to; it will be better for
you to become a little familiar with the rifle before you go after
tigers or cheetahs.' 'Besides,' said B., 'who knows but the Doctor might
take a sly pot at one of us, and wing the unlucky individual for the
sake of a little surgical practice; he's had none since he's been with
us.' 'Well, B., that blow might have been effective if it had not been
somewhat below the belt; at all events, it was not so bad as your shot
at the pariah dog that you missed this morning, and that M. rolled over
immediately after.' There was a general laugh at B.'s expense. 'And,
pray, how did you know that?' said B. 'I only saw it, that's all!' 'Why,
you rode past three or four minutes before we fired; you must have had
eyes behind to see that.' 'Oh, B., if that's the style (stile), I shall
leave you to get over it as you can; the present attempt is rather lame,
and I wish you a steadier hand when you come to make close acquaintance
with the striped or spotted coats, unless you've got M. behind you to
wipe your eye.' Another laugh at poor B. 'Come, B., whip and spur,' said
W.; 'don't let the Doctor walk over the ground.' 'Oh,' replied B., 'no
one can fight against a fellow who has got eyes behind.'
Poor B.! that was his last speech and dying confession. Amidst the
general laughing and chaffing going on, the Colonel said to B.:
'Better take more shots with the rifle, and fewer shots out of the
flask, Mr. B., and then you won't miss your mark as it seems you did
this morning.' B. said nothing, but walked off somewhat crestfallen. One
after the other left, till at last only W. and myself were left with the
Colonel. He then said: 'I'm truly sorry for B.; he's a frank,
open-hearted young fellow, but I fear he's going too fast by a great
deal; he was until recently a capital shot. It was just the same with
poor Tom Manners, whom I knew intimately in Bengal. The first indication
we got of his breaking up was his missing his aim; he had been the crack
shot of us all, but sangaree (we used to drink sangaree in those days)
and brandy was too much for him; he died of delirium tremens, a raving
lunatic, after having tried to kill himself and two other persons. Now,
I have stayed behind the others to say that I think it would be well
done of both of you if you would take an opportunity of talking
seriously with this unhappy lad. You, W., have great influence, and you
can speak as a senior and an old friend: and you, Doctor, can speak as a
professional man, and the medical officer of the regiment; choose your
opportunity well, and the young fellow will then see that you mean
kindly. Good-night to you both.' W.: 'Before you go, Colonel, I think it
right to tell you, that I have more than once spoken seriously to B.,
but I regret to say hitherto without effect. I will, however, do so
again.' 'And I, Colonel, will certainly do my best; but if W.'s advice
has been of none effect, I fear mine will avail little. Once the
pernicious habit has got hold of a man, it is such a besotting and
besetting vice, that nothing seems able to cure it except placing the
man under restraint for two or more years, and rigidly keeping all
alcoholic stimulants away from him.' 'Well, try your best. Good-night
again.' 'Good-night, Colonel.'