[Transcriber's Notes:
This book is best read in a monospaced font such as Courier. This
version uses underscores '_' to show _italics_ and '^' to indicate
superscripts.
The long lines in the three crosses poem and Richelieu's letter were
unavoidable so have been reproduced at the end of the book in alternate
forms to make them more readable on handheld devices.]
THE QUEER, THE QUAINT
AND
THE QUIZZICAL
A CABINET FOR THE CURIOUS
"The company is mixed."—_Byron_
BY
FRANK H. STAUFFER
PHILADELPHIA:
DAVID McKAY, PUBLISHER,
610 SOUTH WASHINGTON SQUARE.
Copyright, 1882, by
F. H. STAUFFER
Oddities and wonders.
Intiquities and blunders.
Omens dire, mystic fire,
Strange customs, cranks and freaks,
With philosophy in streaks.
INTRODUCTION.
Custom doth often reason overrule,
And only serves for reason to the fool.—_Rochester._
A moon dial, with Napier's bones,
And sev'ral constellation stones.—_Butler._
He shows, on holidays, a sacred pin,
That touch'd the ruff that touch'd Queen Bess's chin.
—_Wolcot's Peter Pindar._
Stretching away on the one hand into the deep gloom of barbaric
ignorance, and on the other hand into the full radiance of Christian
intelligence, and, grounding itself strongly in the instinctive
recognition by all men of the intimate relations between the seen and
the unseen, the empire of SUPERSTITION possesses all ages of human
history and all stages of human progress.—_Nimno._
Matrons who toss the cup, and see
The grounds of _fate_ in _grounds_ of _tea_.—_Churchill._
I have known the shooting of a star to spoil a night's rest; I have seen
a man in love grow pale upon the plucking of a merry-thought. There is
nothing so inconsiderable which may not appear dreadful to an
imagination that is filled with omens and prognostics.—_Addison._
_Books with Unpronounceable Names._
In the seventeenth century there was a book published entitled:
"Crononhotonthologos, the most tragical tragedy that ever was tragedized
by any company of tragedians." The first two lines of this effusion
read—
"Aldeborontiphoscophosnio!
Where left you Chrononhotonthologos?"
We might name another singular title of a work published in 1661 by
Robert Lovell, entitled: "Panzoologicomineralogia; a complete history of
animals and minerals, contain'g the summs of all authors, Galenical and
Chymicall, with the anatomie of man, &c."—_Salad for the Solitary._
_Most Curious Book in the World._
The most singular bibliographic curiosity is that which belonged to the
family of the Prince de Ligne, and is now in France. It is neither
written nor printed. All of the letters of the text are cut out of each
folio upon the finest vellum; and, being interlaced with blue paper, it
is read as easily as the best print. The labor and patience bestowed
upon it must have been excessive, especially when the precision and
minuteness of the letters are considered. The general execution is
admirable in every respect, and the vellum is of the most delicate and
costly kind. Rodolphus II., of Germany, offered for it, in 1640, eleven
thousand ducats, which was probably equal to sixty thousand at this day.
The most remarkable circumstance connected with this literary treasure
is that it bears the royal arms of England, but it cannot be shown that
it was ever in that country. The book is entitled: _Liber Passionis
Domini Nostri Jesu Christi cum Characteribus Nulla Materia Compositis_.
_A Long Lost Book Recovered._
The book called "The Ascension of Isaiah the Prophet" had been known to
exist in former ages, but had disappeared after the fifth century.
During the present century Dr. Richard Laurence, the professor of Hebrew
at Oxford, and afterwards Archbishop of Cassel, accidentally met with an
Æthiopic MS. at the shop of a bookseller in Drury Lane, which proved to
be this apocryphal book. There was something remarkable in the
discovery, in a small bookseller's shop, of a book which had been lost
to the learned for more than a thousand years.
_The Bug Bible._
Among the literary curiosities in the Southampton library, England, is
an old Bible known as the "Bug Bible," printed by John Daye, 1551, with
a prologue by Tyndall. It derives its name from the peculiar rendering
of the fifth verse in the 91st Psalm, which reads thus: "So that thou
shalt not need to be afraid for any bugs by night."
_Illuminated Manuscript Bible._
Guido de Jars devoted half a century to the production of a manuscript
copy of the Bible, with illuminated letters. He began it in his fortieth
year, and did not finish it until his ninetieth (1294). It is of
exceeding beauty.
_The Mazarine Bible._
This is so called from its having been found in the Cardinal's library.
It was the first book printed with metal types, and cost $2,500.
_A Book without Words._
A literary curiosity exists in England in the shape of "A Wordless
Book," so called because, after the title page, it contains not a single
word. It is a religious allegory devised by a religious enthusiast, and
the thought is in the symbolic color of its leaves, of which two are
black, two crimson, two pure white, two pure gold. The black symbolizes
the unregenerate heart of man; the crimson, the blessed redemption; the
white, the purity of the soul "washed in the blood of the Lamb;" the
gold, the radiant joy of eternal felicity.
_Wierix's Bible._
The edition of this Bible contains a plate by John Wierix, representing
the feast of Dives, with Lazarus at his door. In the rich man's
banqueting room there is a dwarf playing with a monkey, to contribute to
the merriment of the company, according to the custom among people of
rank in the sixteenth century.
_Gilt Beards._
There was a French Bible printed in Paris in 1538, by Anthony Bonnemere,
wherein is related "that the ashes of the golden calf which Moses caused
to be burnt, and mixed with the water that was drank by the Israelites,
stuck to the beards of such as had fallen down before it, by which they
appeared with gilt beards, as a peculiar mark to distinguish those who
had worshipped the calf." This idle story is actually interwoven with
the 32d chapter of Exodus.
_Printed in Gold Letters._
Bede speaks of a magnificent copy of the Gospels in letters of the
purest gold, upon leaves of purple parchment.
_Magnificent Latin Bible._
Amongst the rare and costly relics in the library of the Vatican, is the
magnificent Latin Bible of the Duke of Urbino. It consists of two large
folios, embellished by numerous figures and landscapes, in the ancient
arabesque.
_Interesting Manuscript Bibles._
In the British Museum there are two copies of the Scriptures which are
peculiarly calculated to interest the pious visitors, from the
circumstances under which they were transcribed. The elder manuscript
contains "The Old and New Testaments, in short hand, in 1686," which
were copied, during many a wakeful night, by a zealous Protestant, in
the reign of James II., who feared that the attempts of that monarch to
re-establish Popery would terminate in the suppression of the sacred
Scriptures.
The other manuscript contains the book of Psalms and the New Testament,
in 15 volumes, folio, written in characters an inch long, with white
ink, on black paper manufactured for the purpose. This perfectly unique
copy was written in 1745, at the cost of a Mr. Harries, a London
tradesman. His sight having failed with age so as to prevent his reading
the Scriptures, though printed in the largest type, he incurred the
expense of this transcription that he might enjoy those sources of
comfort which "are more to be desired than gold, yea, than much fine
gold."
The British Museum paid $3750 for the manuscript Bible made by Alcuin,
in the eighth century, for the Emperor Charlemagne, whose instructor and
friend he was.
_The Vinegar Bible._
This Bible derives its title from an edition which contained an error in
the heading to the twentieth chapter of St. Luke, in which "Parable of
the Vineyard" is printed "Parable of the Vinegar." The edition was
issued in the year 1717, by the University of Oxford, at their Clarendon
Press.
_Queen Elizabeth's "Oone Gospell Booke."_
This book is a precious object to the virtuoso. It was the work of Queen
Catherine Parr, and was enclosed in solid gold. It hung by a gold chain
at her side, and was the frequent companion of the "Virgin Queen." In
her own handwriting, at the beginning of the volume, the following
quaint lines appear—
"I walke many times into the pleasaunt fieldes of the Holie Scriptures,
where I plucke up the goodliesome herbes of sentences by pruning; eate
them by readinge; chawe them by musing; and laye them up at length in ye
state of memorie by gathering them together; that so, having tasted
their sweetness, I may the lesse perceave the bitterness of this
miserable life."
This was penned by the Queen, probably while she was in captivity at
Woodstock, as the spirit it breathed affords a singular contrast to the
towering haughtiness of her ordinary deportment.
_Eliot's Indian Bible._
At the age of 42, John Eliot, pastor of a church at Roxbury, Mass.,
began the study of the Natick Indian dialect, with a view of translating
the Bible into that language. He completed the translation in 1658,
after a labor of eight years, and the book was issued in 1663. Upwards
of one thousand copies were printed, of which twenty copies were
dedicated to King Charles. The latter copies are so rare that one of
them was sold in the U. S., in 1862, for $1000, and six years later for
$1150. Among the many points of interest which Eliot's Indian Bible
possesses, not the least is the fact that it is the language of a nation
no longer in existence, and is almost the only monument of the race;
another, that it is the first edition of the Bible published in this
country.
_Silver Book._
In the library of Upsal, in Sweden, there is preserved a translation of
the four Gospels, printed with metal type upon violet-colored vellum.
The letters are silver, and hence it has received the name of _Codex
Argenteus_. The initial letters are in gold. It is supposed that the
whole was printed in the same manner as book-binders letter the titles
of books on the back. It was a very near approach to the art of
printing, but it is not known how old it is.
_Huge Copy of the Koran._
D'Israeli mentions a huge copy of the Koran—probably without a
parallel, as to its _size_, in the annals of _letters_. The characters
are described as three inches long; the book itself is a foot in
thickness, and its other dimensions five feet by three.
_A Lost Book._
Celsus wrote a book against the Magi, which was not preserved. He was an
Epicurian philosopher, and lived in the second century. Much regret has
been expressed over the loss of the work. He is mentioned with respect
by Lucian, who derived from him the account which he gives of Alexander
the imposter. Even Origen treated him with consideration.
_Book of Riddles._
The Book of Riddles, alluded to by Shakespeare in the Merry Wives of
Windsor (Act 1st, scene 1st), is mentioned by Laneham, 1575, and in the
English Courtier, 1586. The earliest edition now preserved is dated
1629. It is entitled "The Booke of Merry Riddles, together with proper
Questions and with Proverbs to make pleasant pastime; no less usefull
and behovefull for any young man or child, to know if he be quick-witted
or no."
_Unique Library._
A singular library existed in 1535, at Warsenstein, near Cassel. The
books composing it, or rather the substitutes for them, were made of
wood, and every one of them is a specimen of a different tree. The back
is formed of its bark, and the sides are constructed of polished pieces
of the same stock. When put together, the whole forms a box, and inside
of it are stored the fruit, seed and leaves, together with the moss
which grows on its trunk and the insects which feed upon the tree. Every
volume corresponds in size, and the collection altogether has an
excellent effect.
_The New England Primer._
After the horn-book, the children of the incipient United States were
furnished with primers, among the most noted of which was "The New
England Primer for the more easy attaining the reading of English, to
which is added the Assembly of Divines and Mr. Cotton's Catechisms."
This primer had in it the alphabet, syllables of two letters, and many a
pious distich, such as—
Young Timothy
Learn'd sin to fly.
Whales in the sea
God's voice obey.
In Adam's fall
We sinned all.
Vashti for pride
Was set aside.
These puritanic verses were accompanied with illustrations fully as bad
as the rhymes, which were occasionally stretched to a triplet, as—
Young Obadias,
David, Josias,
All were pious.
_The Bedford Missal._
One of the most celebrated books in the annals of bibliography is the
richly illuminated Missal executed by John, Duke of Bedford, Regent of
France under Henry VI., and presented by him to the king in 1430. This
rare volume is eleven inches long, seven and a half inches wide, and two
and a half inches thick. It contains fifty-nine large miniatures, which
nearly occupy the whole page, and above a thousand small ones, in
circles of about an inch and a half in diameter, displayed in brilliant
borders of golden foliage, with variegated flowers, etc. At the bottom
of every page are two lines in blue and gold letters, which explain the
subject of each miniature. This relic, after passing through various
hands, descended to the Duchess of Portland, whose valuable collection
was sold by auction in 1786. Among its many attractions was the Bedford
Missal. A knowledge of the sale coming to the ears of George III., he
sent for his bookseller, and expressed his intention to become the
purchaser. The bookseller ventured to submit to his Majesty the probable
high price it would bring. "How high?" asked the king. "Probably two
hundred guineas," replied the bookseller. "Two hundred guineas for a
missal!" exclaimed the Queen, who was present, and lifted her hands in
astonishment. "Well, well, I'll have it still," said his majesty; "but
since the Queen thinks two hundred guineas so enormous a price for a
missal, I'll go no higher." The bidding for the royal library actually
stopped at that point, and a celebrated collector, Mr. Edwards, became
the purchaser by adding three pounds more. The same missal was
afterwards sold at Mr. Edwards' sale, in 1815, and purchased by the Duke
of Marlborough for the enormous sum of £637 15_s._ sterling.
_Lord Kingsborough's Mexico._
The most costly undertaking of a literary character ever undertaken by a
single individual is the magnificent work on "Mexico," by Lord
Kingsborough. This stupendous work is said to have been produced at an
enormous cost to the author. It is comprised in seven immense folio
volumes, embellished by about one thousand colored illustrations. He
spent more than $300,000 in its production, his enthusiasm carrying him
so far that he ultimately died in debt.
_Imperishable Prison Literature._
Bœthius composed his excellent "Consolations of Philosophy" in prison.
Grotius wrote his "Commentary" while in prison. Cervantes, it is said,
wrote that masterpiece of Spanish romance, "Don Quixote," on board one
of the galleys, in Barbara. Sir Walter Raleigh compiled his "History of
the World" in his prison-chamber in the Tower. Bunyan composed his
immortal allegory in Bedford jail. Luther gave the Bible to Germany,
having translated it in Wartburg castle.
_Puffing their own Books._
Authors of the olden time used to puff their own works by affixing
"taking titles" to them; such as "A right merrie and wittie interlude,
verie pleasant to reade, &c.;" "A marvellous wittie treatise, &c.;" "A
Delectable, Pithie and Righte Profitable Worke, &c."
_Sibylline Books._
The Sibylline prophecies were of early Trojan descent, and the most
celebrated of the Sibyls, or priestesses, plays an important part in the
tales of Æneas. Her prophecies were supposed to be heard in dark caverns
and apertures in rocks. They are thought by Varro to have been written
upon palm leaves in Greek hexameters. They were largely circulated in
the time of Crœsus, and the promises which they made of future empire
to Æneas escaping from the flames of Troy into Italy, were remarkably
realized by Rome. Of the nine books offered for sale by a Sibyl to
Tarquinius Superbus, six were burnt, after which he purchased the
remaining three for the price originally demanded for the nine. They
were kept in a stone chest under ground in the temple of Jupiter
Capitolinus, in the custody of certain officers, who only consulted the
books at the special command of the Senate. Some Sibylline books appear
to have been consulted until the tenth century.
_Prophetic Almanacs._
The fame of the celebrated astrologer, Nostradamus, who prophesied
minutely the death of Henry II. of France, the execution of Charles I.
of England, the great fire of London, the Restoration, &c., gave such an
impulse to predictions that, in 1579, Henry III. of France prohibited
the insertion of any political prophecies in almanacs, a prohibition
which was renewed by Louis XIII., in 1628. In the reign of Charles IX. a
royal edict required every almanac to be stamped with the approval of
the diocesan bishop. Prophetic almanacs still circulate to an incredible
extent in the rural districts of France, and among the uneducated. The
most popular of all these is the "Almanac Liègeois," a venerable remnant
of superstition, first issued in 1636. It is a most convenient almanac
for those who are unable to read, for by certain symbols attached to
certain dates the most unlettered persons can follow its instructions. A
rude representation of a phial announces the proper phase of the moon
under which a draught of medicine should be taken; a pair of scissors
points out the proper period for cutting hair; a lancet, for letting
blood, &c.
_Diaries._
Marcus Antonius' celebrated work, entitled "Of the Things which Concern
Himself," would be a good definition of the use and purpose of a diary.
Shaftesbury calls a diary "A Fault-book," intended for self-correction;
and a Colonel Hardwood, in the reign of Charles I., kept a diary which,
in the spirit of the times, he entitled "Slips, Infirmities and
Passages of Providence." One old writer quaintly observes that "the
ancients used to take their stomach-pill of self-examination every
night. Some used little books or tablets, tied at their girdles, in
which they kept a memorial of what they did, against their
night-reckoning." We know that Titus, the delight of mankind, as he has
been called, kept a diary of all his actions, and when at night he found
that he had performed nothing memorable, he would exclaim: "Friends, we
have lost a day." Edward VI. kept a diary, while that left by James II.,
so full of facts and reflections, furnished excellent material for
history. Richard Baxter, author of one hundred and forty-five distinct
works, left a diary extending from 1615 to 1648, which, when published,
formed a folio of seven hundred closely-printed pages. Valuable diaries
were also left by Whitelock and Henry Earl of Clarendon.
_Literary Ingenuity._
Odo tenet mulum, madidam mappam tenet anna.
The above line is said, in an old book, to have "cost the inventor much
foolish labor, for it is perfect verse, and every word is the very same
both backward and forward."
_Supposed to be a Genuine Island._
When the Utopia of Sir Thomas More was first published, it occasioned
quite a complimentary blunder. This political romance represents a
perfect but visionary republic, in an island supposed to have been newly
discovered in America. As this was the age of discovery (says Granger),
the learned Budæus, and others, took it for a genuine history, and
considered it as highly expedient that missionaries should be sent
thither, in order to convert so wise a nation to Christianity.
_King of India's Library._
Dabshelim, King of India, had so numerous a library, that a hundred
brachmans were scarcely sufficient to keep it in order, and it required
a thousand dromedaries to transport it from one place to another. As he
was not able to read all these books, he proposed to the brachmans to
make extracts from them of the best and most useful of their contents.
These learned personages went so heartily to work, that in less than
twenty years they had compiled of all these extracts a little
encyclopædia of twelve thousand volumes, which thirty camels could carry
with ease. They presented them to the king, but what was their amazement
to hear him say that it was impossible for him to read thirty
camel-loads of books. They therefore reduced their extracts to fifteen,
afterwards to ten, then to four, then to two dromedaries, and at last
there remained only enough to load a mule of ordinary size.
Unfortunately, Dabshelim, during this process of melting down his
library, grew old, and saw no probability of living long enough to
exhaust its quintessence to the last volume. "Illustrious Sultan," said
his vizier, "though I have but a very imperfect knowledge of your royal
library, yet I will undertake to deliver you a very brief and
satisfactory abstract of it. You shall read it through in one minute,
and yet you will find matter in it to reflect upon throughout the rest
of your life." Having said this, Pilpay took a palm leaf, and wrote upon
it with a golden style the four following paragraphs:
1. The greater part of the sciences comprise but one single
word—_Perhaps_, and the whole history of mankind contains no more than
three—they are _born_, _suffer_, _die_.
2. Love nothing but what is good, and do all that thou lovest to do;
think nothing but what is true, and speak not all that thou thinkest.
3. O kings! tame your passions, govern yourselves, and it will be only
child's play to govern the world.
4. O kings! O people! it can never be often enough repeated to you, what
the half-witted venture to doubt, that there is no happiness without
virtue, and no virtue without God.
_Palindromes._
One of the most remarkable palindromes is the following—
SATOR AREPO TENET OPERA ROTAS.
Its distinguishing peculiarity is that the first letter of each
successive word writes to spell the first word; the second letter of
each the second word, and so on throughout; and the same will be found
as precisely true upon reversal. But the neatest and prettiest that has
yet appeared comes from a highly cultivated lady who was attached to the
court of Queen Elizabeth. Having been banished from the court on
suspicion of too great familiarity with a nobleman in high favor, the
lady adopted this device—_a moon covered by a cloud_—and the following
palindrome for a motto—
ABLATA ATALBA. (Secluded but Pure.)
The merit of this kind of composition was never in any example so
heightened by appropriateness and delicacy of sentiment.
_Chronogram._
Such was the name given to a whimsical device of the later Romans,
resuscitated during the _renaissance_ period, by which a date is given
by selecting certain letters amongst those which form an inscription,
and printing them larger than the others. The principle will be
understood from the following chronogram made from the name of George
Villiers, the first Duke of Buckingham—
Georg IVs. DVX. bVCkIngaMIæ.
The date MDCXVVVIII (1628), is that of the year in which the Duke was
murdered by Felton, at Portsmouth.
_Instance of Remarkable Perseverance._
The Rev. Wm. Davy, a Devonshire curate, in the year 1795, begun a most
desperate undertaking, viz: that of himself printing twenty-six volumes
of sermons, which he actually did, working off page by page, for
fourteen copies, and continued the almost hopeless task for twelve
years, in the midst of poverty. Such wonderful perseverance almost
amounts to a ruling passion.
_Alliterative Whims._
Mrs. Crawford says she wrote one line in her song, "Kathleen
Mavourneen," for the express purpose of confounding the cockney warblers,
who sing it thus—
"The 'orn of the 'unter is 'eard on the 'ill."
Moore has laid the same trap in the _Woodpecker_—
"A 'eart that is 'umble might 'ope for it 'ere."
And the elephant confounds them the other way—
"A helephant heasily heats at his hease,
Hunder humbrageous humbrella trees."
_Alliterations carried to Absurd Excess._
In the early part of the seventeenth century the fashion of hunting
after alliterations was carried to an absurd excess. Even from the
pulpit the chosen people were addressed as "the _c_hickens of the
_c_hurch, the _s_parrows of the _s_pirit, and the _s_weet _s_wallows of
_s_alvation." "Ane New-Year Gift," or address, presented to Mary Queen
of Scots by the poet Alexander Scot, concludes with a stanza running
thus—
"Fresh, fulgent, flourist, fragrant flower formose,
Lantern to love, of ladies lamp and lot,
Cherry maist chaste, chief, carbuncle and chose, &c."
_Vacillating Newspapers._
The newspapers of Paris, under censorship of the press, in 1815,
announced in the following manner Bonaparte's departure from the Isle of
Elba, his march across France and his entrance into the French
Capital:—
"9th March.—The Cannibal has escaped from his den. 10th.—The Corsican
Ogre has just landed at Cape Juan. 11th.—The Tiger has arrived at Gap.
12th.—The Monster has passed the night at Grenoble. 13th.—The Tyrant
has crossed Lyons. 14th.—The Usurper is directing his course toward
Dijon, but the brave and loyal Burgundians have risen in a body and they
surround him on all sides. 18th.—Bonaparte is sixty leagues from the
Capital; he has had skill enough to escape from the hands of his
pursuers. 19th.—Bonaparte advances rapidly, but he will never enter
Paris. 20th.—To-morrow _Napoleon_ will be under our ramparts.
21st.—The _Emperor_ is at Fontainebleau. 22d.—His _Imperial_ and
_Royal Majesty_ last evening made his entrance into his Palace of the
Tuileries, amidst the _joyous_ acclamations of an _adoring_ and
_faithful people_."
_Dr. Johnson's Blunders._
Considering that Doctor Johnson was himself a severe verbal critic, it
might be expected that his own writings would be correct. But he wrote:
"Every monumental inscription should be in Latin; for that being a
_dead_ language it will always _live_." Another Johnsonian lapsus is
palpable in the lines—
"Nor yet perceived the vital spirit fled,
But still fought on, _nor knew that he was dead_."
It would puzzle the reader to understand how a warrior could continue
fighting after he was dead.
_Blunders of Painters._
Tintoret, an Italian painter, in a picture of the Children of Israel
gathering manna, represents them armed with guns. In Cigoli's painting
of the circumcision of the infant Saviour, the aged Simeon has a pair of
spectacles on his nose. In a picture by Verrio of Christ healing the
sick, the by-standers have periwigs on their heads. A Dutch painter, in
a picture of the Wise Men worshipping the Holy Child, has drawn one of
them in a white surplice, and in boots and spurs, and he is in the act
of presenting to the children a model of a Dutch man-of-war. In a Dutch
picture of Abraham offering up his son, instead of the patriarch
"stretching forth and taking the knife," he is represented as holding a
blunderbuss to Isaac's head. Berlin represents in a picture the Virgin
and Child listening to a violin. A French artist, in a painting of the
Lord's Supper, has the table ornamented with tumblers filled with cigar
lighters. Another French painting exhibits Adam and Eve in all their
primeval simplicity, while near them, in full costume, is seen a hunter
with a gun, shooting ducks.
_Thackeray's Geographical Blunders._
The novelist, in "The Virginians," makes Madam Esmond, of Castlewood, in
Westmoreland county, a neighbor of Washington at Mt. Vernon, on the
Potomac, fifty miles distant, and a regular attendant at public worship
at Williamsburg, half-way between the York and James rivers, fully one
hundred and twenty-five miles from Mt. Vernon; and so "immensely
affected" are the colored hearers of a young preacher at Williamsburg
"that there was such a negro chorus about the house as might be heard
across the Potomac," the nearest bank of which is fifty-seven miles
away.
He makes General Braddock ride out from Williamsburg (he never was
there) in "his own coach, a ponderous, emblazoned vehicle," with Dr.
Franklin, "the little postmaster of Philadelphia" (Franklin's average
weight was 160 pounds), over a muddy road, in March, through a
half-wilderness country of more than one hundred miles, to dine with
Madam Esmond, in Westmoreland county, near Mt. Vernon.
_A Stupid Critic._
Commentators are sometimes stupid, and their criticisms so absurd as to
be amusing. A German critic, in explaining the text of Shakespeare's
comedy "As You Like It," came to the following passage—
"Tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
Sermons in stones, and good in every thing."
He made this comment upon it: "The lines as they now stand are
manifestly wrong. No one ever found books in the running brooks, or
sermons in stones. But a slight transposition of words reduces the
passage to sense. Shakespeare's meaning is clear, and what he meant he
must have written. The passage should read thus"—
"Stones in the running brooks,
Sermons in books, and good in every thing."
_Crooked Coincidences._
A pamphlet published in the year 1703, has the following strange title—
"The _Deformity_ of Sin Cured, a sermon preached at St. Michael's,
_Crooked_ Lane, before the Prince of Orange, by the Rev. James
_Crook_shanks. Sold by Matthew Dowton, at the _Crooked_ Billet, near
_Cripple_gate, and by all other Booksellers." The words of the text are,
"Every _crooked_ path shall be made straight," and the Prince before
whom it was preached was _crooked_, i. e., deformed.
_The Bride of Abydos._
In this poem of Byron's there is no _bride_, for the heroine dies
heart-broken and unwedded.
_Grandiloquent Outbursts._
There is a volume printed at Amsterdam, 1657, entitled: "Jesus, Maria,
Joseph; or the Devout Pilgrim of the Everlasting Blessed Virgin Mary, in
his Holy Exercises, Affections and Elevations, upon the sacred Mysteries
of Jesus, Maria and Joseph." We append a few extracts from this curious
book, as a specimen of the language employed at that time in addressing
the Virgin—
"You, O Mother of God, are the Spiritual Paradise of the second Adam;
the bright cloud carrying him who hath the cherubims for his chariot;
the fleece of wool filled with the sweet dew of heaven, whereof was made
that admirable robe of our royal shepherd, in which he vouchsafed to
look after his sheep; you are pleasing and comely as Jerusalem, and the
aromatical odours issuing from your garments outvie all the delights of
Mount Lebanon; you are the sacred pix of celestial perfumes, whose
sweet exhalations shall never be exhausted; you are the holy oil, the
unextinguishable lamp, the unfading flower, the divinely-woven purple,
the royal vestment, the imperial diadem, the throne of the divinity, the
gate of Paradise, the queen of the universe, the cabinet of life, the
fountain ever flowing with celestial illustrations."
"All hail! the divine lantern encompassing that crystal lamp whose light
outshines the sun in its midday splendour; the spiritual sea whence the
world's richest pearl was extracted; the radiant sphere, the well-fenced
orchard, the fruitful border, the fair and delicate garden, the nuptial
bed of the eternal world, the odoriferous and happy City of God, etc.,
etc."
_Dialect Rhyme._
The subjoined is a specimen of the dialect spoken in the county of
Lancashire, England. The verse is a description of a lost baby, by the
town-crier, or bellman, who still plies his trade in out-of-the-way
parts of England—
Law-st oather [either] to-day or else some toime to morn,
As pratty a babby as ever wur born;
It has cheeks like red roses, two bonny blue een,
Had it meauth daubed wi' traycle th' last toime it were seen;
It's just cuttin' it teeth, an' has very sore gums,
An' it's gettin' a habit o' suckin' it thumbs;
Thoose at foind it may keep it, there's nob'dy'll care,
For thoose at hav lost it, hav lots moor to spare!
_In Search of a Rhyme._
Luttrell made this couplet on the wife of "Anastatius" Hope, famous for
his wealth and her own jewels—
"Of diamond, emerald and topaz,
Such as the charming Mrs. Hope has!"
_Noted Anachronisms._
Shakespeare makes Lear, an early Anglo-Saxon King, speak of not wanting
spectacles, which were not known until the fourteenth century. Cannon
were first used in the year 1346, but in relating Macbeth's death, in
1054, and King John's reign in 1200, he mentions cannon. In his Julius
Cæsar, he makes the "clock" strike three.
Schiller, in his "Piccolomini," speaks of a "lightning-conductor" as
existing about 150 years before its invention.
_Diogenes and his Tub._
Modern scepticism about the practical stoicism of the ancients is surely
brought to a climax by a living writer, M. Fournier, who maintains that
the so-called tub of Diogenes was in reality a commodious little
dwelling—neat but not gorgeous. It must be supposed, then, that he
spoke of his tub much as an English country gentleman does of his
"box."—_The Book Hunter, by Burton._
_Slave Advertisements._
The following announcements are curious, showing the merchandise light
in which the negro was regarded in America while yet a colony of Great
Britain:
FRANCIS LEWIS, HAS FOR SALE,
A Choice Parcel of Muscovado and Powder Sugars, Tierces and Barrels;
Ravens, Ducks and a Negro Woman and Negro Boy. The Coach-House and
Stables, with or without the Garden Spot, formerly the property of
Joseph Murray, Esq.; in the Broadway, to be let separately or
together:—Inquire of said Francis Lewis.—_New York Gazette_, April
25th, 1765.
This Day Run away from JOHN MCCOMB, Junier, an Indian Woman, about 17
Years of Age, Pitted in the Face, of a middle Stature and Indifferent
fatt, having on her a Drugat, Wast-coat, and Kersey Petticoat, of a
Light Collour. If any Person or Persons shall bring the said Girle to
her said Master, shall be Rewarded for their Trouble to their
Content.—_American Weekly Mercury_, May 24th, 1726.
A Female Negro Child (of an extraordinary good Breed) to be given away.
Inquire of Edes and Gill.—_Boston Gazette_, Feb. 25th, 1765.
TO BE SOLD, FOR WANT OF EMPLOY,
A Likely Negro Fellow, about 25 Years of Age. He is an extraordinary
good Cook, and understands setting or tending a table very well,
likewise all kind of House Work, such as washing, scouring, scrubbing,
&c. Also, a Negro Wench, his Wife, about 17 Years old, born in this
City, and understands all Sorts of House Work. For farther Particulars,
inquire of the Printer.—_New York Gazette_, March 21st, 1765.
_Sir John Moore not Buried at Night._
It has been generally supposed that the burial of Sir John Moore, who
fell at the battle of Corunna, in 1809, took place during the night, an
error which doubtless arose from the statement to that effect in Wolf's
celebrated lines. Rev. Mr. Symons, who was the clergyman on the
occasion, states, however, in Notes and Queries, that the burial took
place in the morning, in broad daylight.
_Cleopatra a Myth._
Commentators of no mean standing insist that Cleopatra
"Star-eyed Egyptian,
Glorious sorceress of the Nile,"
is merely a creature of the imagination; in plain words, that the
Cleopatra of history never existed, though there were two or three women
who bore the name.
_Abelard and Heloise._
Though they may have lived about the same time, the romance of their
love is now gravely denied by scholars and antiquarians.
_Odd Titles of Old Books._
In "Gleanings for the Curious" we find the following list of odd titles
to books, most of which were published in the time of Cromwell:—
A Shot aimed at the Devil's Head-Quarters through the Tube of the Cannon
of the Covenant.
Crumbs of Comfort for the Chickens of the Covenant.
Eggs of Charity, layed by the Chickens of the Covenant, and boiled with
the Water of Divine Love. Take Ye and eat.
High-heeled Shoes for Dwarfs in Holiness.
Hooks and Eyes for Believers' Breeches.
Matches lighted by the Divine Fire.
Seven Sobs of a Sorrowful Soul for Sin; or, the Seven Penitential Psalms
of the Princely Prophet David; whereunto are also added William Humius'
Handful of Honeysuckles, and Divers Godly and Pithy Ditties, now newly
augmented.
Spiritual Milk for Babes, drawn out of the Breasts of both Testaments
for their Souls' Nourishment: a catechism.
The Bank of Faith.
The Christian Sodality; or, Catholic Hive of Bees, sucking the Honey of
the Churches' Prayer from the Blossoms of the Word of God, blowne out
of the Epistles and Gospels of the Divine Service throughout the yeare.
Collected by the Puny Bee of all the Hive not worthy to be named
otherwise than by these elements of his Name, F. P.
The Gun of Penitence.
The Innocent Love; or, the Holy Knight: a description of the ardors of a
saint for the Virgin.
The Shop of the Spiritual Apothecary; or, a collection of passages from
the fathers.
The Sixpennyworth of Divine Spirit.
The Snuffers of Divine Love.
The Sound of the Trumpet: a work on the day of judgment.
The Spiritual Mustard Pot, to make the Soul Sneeze with Devotion.
The Three Daughters of Job: a treatise on patience, fortitude and pain.
Tobacco battered, and the Pipes shattered about their Ears that idly
idolize so loathsome a Vanity, by a Volley of holy shot thundered from
Mount Helicon: a poem against the use of tobacco, by Joshua Sylvester.
A Fan to drive away Flies: a theological treatise on Purgatory.
A most Delectable Sweet Perfumed Nosegay for God's Saints to Smell at.
A Pair of Bellows to blow off the Dust cast upon John Fry.
A Proper Project to Startle Fools: Printed in a Land where Self's cry'd
up and Zeal's cry'd down.
A Reaping-Hook, well tempered, for the Stubborn Ears of the coming Crop;
or, Biscuit baked in the Oven of Charity, carefully conserved for the
Chickens of the Church, the Sparrows of the Spirit, and the sweet
Swallows of Salvation.
A Sigh of Sorrow for the Sinners of Zion, breathed out of a Hole in the
Wall of an Earthly Vessel, known among Men by the Name of Samuel Fish (a
Quaker who had been imprisoned).
_Title-Pages which Mislead._
The title-page is not always a distinct intimation of what is to follow.
"The Diversions of Purley" is one of the toughest books in existence.
"Apes Urbanæ" (Urban bees), by the great scholar, Leo Allatius, is not
about bees, but is devoted to the great men who nourished during the
Pontificate of Urban VIII., whose family carried bees on their
coat-armorial. "Marmontel's Moral Tales" has been found to give
disappointment to parents in search of the absolutely correct and
improving; and Edgeworth's "Essay on Irish Bulls" has been counted money
absolutely thrown away by eminent breeders. "MacEwen on the Types" is
not a book for printers, but for theologians. Ruskin's treatise "On the
Construction of Sheepfolds" treats about Popery and Protestantism.—_The
Book Hunter._
_A Carmelite Friar's Poem._
In the seventeenth century a carmelite friar named Jean Louis
Barthelemi, but who always called himself Pierre de St. Louis, composed
(in twelve books) a poem entitled, "The Magdaleneide; or, Mary Magdalen
at the Desert of the Sainte Beaume in Provence, a Spiritual and
Christian Poem." Some idea of it may be obtained from a literally
translated extract. Having treated at large of the Magdelen's irregular
conduct in the early part of her life, and of her subsequent conversion,
he says:—
"But God at length changed this coal into a ruby, this crow into a dove,
this wolf into a sheep, this hell into a heaven, this nothing into
something, this thistle into a lily, this thorn into a rose, this
impotence into power, this vice into virtue, this caldron into a
mirror."
The poem cost him five years of close application, and he concludes it
by egotistically saying: "If you desire grace and sweetness in verses,
in mine will you find them."
_Striking Parallel Passages between Shakspeare and the Bible._
_Othello._—Rude am I in speech.—I. 3.
But though I be rude in speech.—2 Cor. xi. 6.
_Witches._—Show his eyes and grieve his heart.—iv. 1.
Consume thine eyes and grieve thine heart.—1 Sam. ii. 33.
_Macbeth._—Lighted fools the way to dusty death.—V. 5.
Thou hast brought me into the dust of death.—Ps. xxii.
_Othello._—I took him by the throat, the circumcised dog, and
smote him.—V. 2.
I smote him, I caught him by his beard and smote him, and slew
him.—1 Sam. xvii. 35.
_Macbeth._—We will die with harness on our back.—V. 5.
Nicanor lay dead in his harness.—Maccabees xv. 28.
_Curious Play Bill._
The following remarkable theatrical announcement is worthy of
preservation for its effusion of vanity and poverty, in the shape of an
appeal to the inhabitants of a town in Sussex:—
"At the old theatre in East Grimstead, on Saturday, May 5th, 1758, will
be represented (by particular desire, and for the benefit of Mrs. P.)
the deep and affecting tragedy of Theodosius; or, the Force of Love,
with magnificent dresses, scenery, &c.
"Varanes, by Mr. P., who will strive, as far as possible, to support the
character of this fiery Persian Prince, in which he was so much admired
and applauded at Hastings, Arundel, Petworth, Lewes, &c.
"Theodosius, by a young gentleman from the University of Oxford, who
never appeared on any stage.
"Athenais, by Mrs. P. Though her present condition will not permit her
to wait on gentlemen and ladies out of the town with tickets, she hopes,
as upon former occasions, for their liberality and support.
"Nothing in Italy can exceed the altar, in the first scene of the play.
Nevertheless, should any of the nobility or gentry wish to see it
ornamented with flowers, the bearer will bring away as many as they
choose to favour him with.
"As the coronation of Athenias, to be introduced in the fifth act,
contains a number of personages, more than sufficient to fill all the
dressing room, &c., it is to be hoped no gentlemen and ladies will be
offended at being refused admission behind the scenes.
"N. B.—The great yard dog that made so much noise on Thursday night
during the last act of King Richard the Third, will be sent to a
neighbor's over the way; and on account of the prodigious demand for
places, part of the stable will be laid into the boxes on one side, and
the granary be open for the same purpose on the other. _Vivat Rex._"
_Boone's Spelling._
An old letter written by Daniel Boone, furnishes this specimen of
original spelling:—
"I hope you Will Wright me By the Bearer, Mr. goe, how you Com on with
my Horsis—I Hear the Indians have Killed Some pepel near Limstone."
_Vagaries of Spelling._
Queen Elizabeth spelt the word sovereign in seven different ways. The
Earl of Leicester, her favorite, spelt his own name in eight different
ways. Sir Walter Raleigh spelt his own name in more than eight different
ways. In the deeds of the Villars family their name is spelt in fourteen
different ways. In the family documents of the Percy family their name
is spelt in fifteen different ways.
_Singular Specimen of Orthography in the Sixteenth Century._
The following letter was written by the Duchess of Norfolk to Cromwell,
Earl of Essex. It exhibits a curious instance of the monstrous anomalies
of our orthography in the infancy of our literature:—
"My ffary gode lord,—her I sand you in tokyn hoff the neweyer, a glasse
hoff setyl set in sellfer gyld. I pra you tak hit in wort. An hy wer
habel het showlde be bater. I woll hit war wort a m crone."
_Translated._—"My very good lord. Here I send you, in token of the new
year, a glass of setyll set in silver gilt. I pray you take it in worth.
An I were able it should be better. I would it were worth a thousand
crowns."
_High-Sounding Prologue._
In a medical work entitled "The Breviarie of Health," published in 1547,
by Andrew Borde, a physician of that period, is a prologue to
physicians, beginning thus—
"Egregious doctors and masters of the eximious and arcane science of
physic, of your urbanity exasperate not yourselves against me for making
this little volume."
_Inducements to Subscribers._
For journals to offer inducements to subscribers is not a modern
feature. A book was published in 1764, entitled "A New History of
England, Manchester, printed by Joseph Harrop, opposite the Exchange."
At the end of this octavo volume, which consists of 778 pages, is the
following:—
"TO THE PUBLIC.
"The History of England being now brought down to that period which was
at first proposed, the Publisher takes this opportunity of returning his
thanks to his friends and subscribers for the kind encouragement they
have given his News Paper; and hopes that as he has steadily persevered
in going through with, and given gratis, The History of England, at the
Expence of upwards of One Hundred Pounds, they will still continue their
Subscription to his paper, which he will spare neither pains nor
assiduity to render worthy their perusal.
JOS. HARROP."
_Composition During Sleep._
Condorcet is said to have attained the conclusion of some of his most
abstruse, unfinished calculations in his dreams. Franklin makes a
similar admission concerning some of his political projects which, in
his waking moments, sorely puzzled him. Sir J. Herschel is said to have
composed the following lines in a dream:—
"Throw thyself on thy God, nor mock Him with feeble denial;
Sure of His love, and, oh! sure of His mercy at last!
Bitter and deep though the draught, yet drain thou the cup of thy trial,
And in its healing effect, smile at the bitterness past."
Goethe says in his "Memoirs," "The objects which had occupied my
attention during the day often reappeared at night in connected dreams.
On awakening, a new composition, or a portion of one I had already
commenced, presented itself to my mind. In the morning I was accustomed
to record my ideas on paper." Coleridge composed his poem of the
"Abyssinian Maid" during a dream. Something analogous to this is what
Lord Cockburn says in his "Life of Lord Jeffrey." "He had a fancy that
though he went to bed with his head stuffed with the names, dates and
other details of various causes, they were all in order in the morning;
which he accounted for by saying that during sleep 'they all
_crystallized round their proper centres_.'"
_A Bill of Particulars._
A certain gentleman of Worcester (Mass.) sent a very fine French clock
to a well-known jeweler to be repaired, saying that he wished each item
of repairing specified. The following is a copy of the bill as
rendered:—
To removing the alluvial deposit and oleaginous
conglomerate from clock a la French, $0.50
To replacing in appropriate juxtaposition the constituent
components of said clock, .50
To lubricating with oleaginous solution the apex of
pinions of said clock, .50
To adjusting horologically the isochronal mechanism of
said clock, .50
To equalizing the acoustic resultant of escape wheel
percussion upon the verge pallets of said clock, .50
To adjusting the distance between the centre of gravity
of the pendulum and its point of suspension, so that
the vibrations of the pendulum shall cause the index
hand to indicate approximately the daily arrival of
the sun at its meridian height, .50
─────
$3.00
_Lilly's Predictions._
While Lilly is ridiculed for his absurdities, let him have credit for as
lucky a guess as ever blessed the pages even of "Francis Moore,
Physician." In Lilly's "Astrological Predictions for 1648," there occurs
the following passage, in which we must allow that he attained to
"something like prophetic strain," when we call to mind that the Great
Plague of London occurred in 1665, and the Great Fire in the year
following:—