CHAPTER TWO: The Wizard of Finance

Down in the City itself, just below the residential street where the

Mausoleum Club is situated, there stands overlooking Central Square the

Grand Palaver Hotel. It is, in truth, at no great distance from the

club, not half a minute in one's motor. In fact, one could almost walk

it.

But in Central Square the quiet of Plutoria Avenue is exchanged for

another atmosphere. There are fountains that splash unendingly and

mingle their music with the sound of the motor-horns and the clatter of

the cabs. There are real trees and little green benches, with people

reading yesterday's newspaper, and grass cut into plots among the

asphalt. There is at one end a statue of the first governor of the

state, life-size, cut in stone; and at the other a statue of the last,

ever so much larger than life, cast in bronze. And all the people who

pass by pause and look at this statue and point at it with

walking-sticks, because it is of extraordinary interest; in fact, it is

an example of the new electro-chemical process of casting by which you

can cast a state governor any size you like, no matter what you start

from. Those who know about such things explain what an interesting

contrast the two statues are; for in the case of the governor of a

hundred years ago one had to start from plain, rough material and work

patiently for years to get the effect, whereas now the material doesn't

matter at all, and with any sort of scrap, treated in the gas furnace

under tremendous pressure, one may make a figure of colossal size like

the one in Central Square.

So naturally Central Square with its trees and its fountains and its

statues is one of the places of chief interest in the City. But

especially because there stands along one side of it the vast pile of

the Grand Palaver Hotel. It rises fifteen stories high and fills all

one side of the square. It has, overlooking the trees in the square,

twelve hundred rooms with three thousand windows, and it would have

held all George Washington's army. Even people in other cities who have

never seen it know it well from its advertising; "the most homelike

hotel in America," so it is labelled in all the magazines, the

expensive ones, on the continent. In fact, the aim of the company that

owns the Grand Palaver--and they do not attempt to conceal it--is to

make the place as much a home as possible. Therein lies its charm. It

is a home. You realize that when you look up at the Grand Palaver from

the square at night when the twelve hundred guests have turned on the

lights of the three thousand windows. You realize it at theatre time

when the great string of motors come sweeping to the doors of the

Palaver, to carry the twelve hundred guests to twelve hundred seats in

the theatres at four dollars a seat. But most of all do you appreciate

the character of the Grand Palaver when you step into its rotunda.

Aladdin's enchanted palace was nothing to it. It has a vast ceiling

with a hundred glittering lights, and within it night and day is a

surging crowd that is never still and a babel of voices that is never

hushed, and over all there hangs an enchanted cloud of thin blue

tobacco smoke such as might enshroud the conjured vision of a magician

of Baghdad or Damascus.

In and through the rotunda there are palm trees to rest the eye and

rubber trees in boxes to soothe the mind, and there are great leather

lounges and deep armchairs, and here and there huge brass ash-bowls as

big as Etruscan tear-jugs. Along one side is a counter with grated

wickets like a bank, and behind it are five clerks with flattened hair

and tall collars, dressed in long black frock-coats all day like

members of a legislature. They have great books in front of them in

which they study unceasingly, and at their lightest thought they strike

a bell with the open palm of their hand, and at the sound of it a page

boy in a monkey suit, with G.P. stamped all over him in brass, bounds

to the desk and off again, shouting a call into the unheeding crowd

vociferously. The sound of it fills for a moment the great space of the

rotunda; it echoes down the corridors to the side; it floats, softly

melodious, through the palm trees of the ladies' palm room; it is

heard, fainter and fainter, in the distant grill; and in the depths of

the barber shop below the level of the street the barber arrests a

moment the drowsy hum of his shampoo brushes to catch the sound--as

might a miner in the sunken galleries of a coastal mine cease in his

toil a moment to hear the distant murmur of the sea.

And the clerks call for the pages, the pages call for the guests, and

the guests call for the porters, the bells clang, the elevators rattle,

till home itself was never half so homelike.

* * * * *

"A call for Mr. Tomlinson! A call for Mr. Tomlinson!"

So went the sound, echoing through the rotunda.

And as the page boy found him and handed him on a salver a telegram to

read, the eyes of the crowd about him turned for a moment to look upon

the figure of Tomlinson, the Wizard of Finance.

There he stood in his wide-awake hat and his long black coat, his

shoulders slightly bent with his fifty-eight years. Anyone who had

known him in the olden days on his bush farm beside Tomlinson's Creek

in the country of the Great Lakes would have recognized him in a

moment. There was still on his face that strange, puzzled look that it

habitually wore, only now, of course, the financial papers were calling

it "unfathomable." There was a certain way in which his eye roved to

and fro inquiringly that might have looked like perplexity, were it not

that the _Financial Undertone_ had recognized it as the "searching look

of a captain of industry." One might have thought that for all the

goodness in it there was something simple in his face, were it not that

the _Commercial and Pictorial Review_ had called the face

"inscrutable," and had proved it so with an illustration that left no

doubt of the matter. Indeed, the face of Tomlinson of Tomlinson's

Creek, now Tomlinson the Wizard of Finance, was not commonly spoken of

as a _face_ by the paragraphers of the Saturday magazine sections, but

was more usually referred to as a mask; and it would appear that

Napoleon the First had had one also. The Saturday editors were never

tired of describing the strange, impressive personality of Tomlinson,

the great dominating character of the newest and highest finance. From

the moment when the interim prospectus of the Erie Auriferous

Consolidated had broken like a tidal wave over Stock Exchange circles,

the picture of Tomlinson, the sleeping shareholder of uncomputed

millions, had filled the imagination of every dreamer in a nation of

poets.

They all described him. And when each had finished he began again.

"The face," so wrote the editor of the "Our Own Men" section of

_Ourselves Monthly_, "is that of a typical American captain of finance,

hard, yet with a certain softness, broad but with a certain length,

ductile but not without its own firmness."

"The mouth," so wrote the editor of the "Success" column of _Brains_,

"is strong but pliable, the jaw firm and yet movable, while there is

something in the set of the ear that suggests the swift, eager mind of

the born leader of men."

So from state to state ran the portrait of Tomlinson of Tomlinson's

Creek, drawn by people who had never seen him; so did it reach out and

cross the ocean, till the French journals inserted a picture which they

used for such occasions, and called it _Monsieur Tomlinson, nouveau

capitaine de la haute finance en Amerique_; and the German weeklies,

inserting also a suitable picture from their stock, marked it _Herr

Tomlinson, Amerikanischer Industrie und Finanzcapitan_. Thus did

Tomlinson float from Tomlinson's Creek beside Lake Erie to the very

banks of the Danube and the Drave.

Some writers grew lyric about him. What visions, they asked, could one

but read them, must lie behind the quiet, dreaming eyes of that

inscrutable face?

They might have read them easily enough, had they but had the key.

Anyone who looked upon Tomlinson as he stood there in the roar and

clatter of the great rotunda of the Grand Palaver with the telegram in

his hand, fumbling at the wrong end to open it, might have read the

visions of the master-mind had he but known their nature. They were

simple enough. For the visions in the mind of Tomlinson, Wizard of

Finance, were for the most part those of a wind-swept hillside farm

beside Lake Erie, where Tomlinson's Creek runs down to the low edge of

the lake, and where the off-shore wind ripples the rushes of the

shallow water: that, and the vision of a frame house, and the snake

fences of the fourth concession road where it falls to the lakeside.

And if the eyes of the man are dreamy and abstracted, it is because

there lies over the vision of this vanished farm an infinite regret,

greater in its compass than all the shares the Erie Auriferous

Consolidated has ever thrown upon the market.

* * * * *

When Tomlinson had opened the telegram he stood with it for a moment in

his hand, looking the boy full in the face. His look had in it that

peculiar far-away quality that the newspapers were calling "Napoleonic

abstraction." In reality he was wondering whether to give the boy

twenty-five cents or fifty.

The message that he had just read was worded, "Morning quotations show

preferred A. G. falling rapidly recommend instant sale no confidence

send instructions."

The Wizard of Finance took from his pocket a pencil (it was a

carpenter's pencil) and wrote across the face of the message: "Buy me

quite a bit more of the same yours truly."

This he gave to the boy. "Take it over to him," he said, pointing to

the telegraph corner of the rotunda. Then after another pause he

mumbled, "Here, sonny," and gave the boy a dollar.

With that he turned to walk towards the elevator, and all the people

about him who had watched the signing of the message knew that some big

financial deal was going through--a _coup_, in fact, they called it.

The elevator took the Wizard to the second floor. As he went up he felt

in his pocket and gripped a quarter, then changed his mind and felt for

a fifty-cent piece, and finally gave them both to the elevator boy,

after which he walked along the corridor till he reached the corner

suite of rooms, a palace in itself, for which he was paying a thousand

dollars a month ever since the Erie Auriferous Consolidated Company had

begun tearing up the bed of Tomlinson's Creek in Cahoga County with its

hydraulic dredges.

"Well, mother," he said as he entered.

There was a woman seated near the window, a woman with a plain, homely

face such as they wear in the farm kitchens of Cahoga County, and a set

of fashionable clothes upon her such as they sell to the ladies of

Plutoria Avenue.

This was "mother," the wife of the Wizard of Finance and eight years

younger than himself. And she, too, was in the papers and the public

eye; and whatsoever the shops had fresh from Paris, at fabulous prices,

that they sold to mother. They had put a Balkan hat upon her with an

upright feather, and they had hung gold chains on her, and everything

that was most expensive they had hung and tied on mother. You might see

her emerging any morning from the Grand Palaver in her beetle-back

jacket and her Balkan hat, a figure of infinite pathos. And whatever

she wore, the lady editors of _Spring Notes_ and _Causerie du Boudoir_

wrote it out in French, and one paper had called her a _belle

chatelaine_, and another had spoken of her as a grande dame, which the

Tomlinsons thought must be a misprint.

But in any case, for Tomlinson, the Wizard of Finance, it was a great

relief to have as his wife a woman like mother, because he knew that

she had taught school in Cahoga County and could hold her own in the

city with any of them.

So mother spent her time sitting in her beetle jacket in the

thousand-dollar suite, reading new novels in brilliant paper covers.

And the Wizard on his trips up and down to the rotunda brought her the

very best, the ones that cost a dollar fifty, because he knew that out

home she had only been able to read books like Nathaniel Hawthorne and

Walter Scott, that were only worth ten cents.

* * * * *

"How's Fred?" said the Wizard, laying aside his hat, and looking

towards the closed door of an inner room. "Is he better?"

"Some," said mother. "He's dressed, but he's lying down."

Fred was the son of the Wizard and mother. In the inner room he lay on

a sofa, a great hulking boy of seventeen in a flowered dressing-gown,

fancying himself ill. There was a packet of cigarettes and a box of

chocolates on a chair beside him, and he had the blind drawn and his

eyes half-closed to impress himself.

Yet this was the same boy that less than a year ago on Tomlinson's

Creek had worn a rough store suit and set his sturdy shoulders to the

buck-saw. At present Fortune was busy taking from him the golden gifts

which the fairies of Cahoga County, Lake Erie, had laid in his cradle

seventeen years ago.

The Wizard tip-toed into the inner room, and from the open door his

listening wife could hear the voice of the boy saying, in a tone as of

one distraught with suffering.

"Is there any more of that jelly?"

"Could he have any, do you suppose?" asked Tomlinson coming back.

"It's all right," said mother, "if it will sit on his stomach." For

this, in the dietetics of Cahoga County, is the sole test. All those

things can be eaten which will sit on the stomach. Anything that won't

sit there is not eatable.

"Do you suppose I could get them to get any?" questioned Tomlinson.

"Would it be all right to telephone down to the office, or do you think

it would be better to ring?"

"Perhaps," said his wife, "it would be better to look out into the hall

and see if there isn't someone round that would tell them."

This was the kind of problem with which Tomlinson and his wife, in

their thousand-dollar suite in the Grand Palaver, grappled all day. And

when presently a tall waiter in dress-clothes appeared, and said,

"Jelly? Yes, sir, immediately, sir; would you like, sir, Maraschino,

sir, or Portovino, sir?" Tomlinson gazed at him gloomily, wondering if

he would take five dollars.

"What does the doctor say is wrong with Fred?" asked Tomlinson, when

the waiter had gone.

"He don't just say," said mother; "he said he must keep very quiet. He

looked in this morning for a minute or two, and he said he'd look in

later in the day again. But he said to keep Fred very quiet."

Exactly! In other words Fred had pretty much the same complaint as the

rest of Dr. Slyder's patients on Plutoria Avenue, and was to be treated

in the same way. Dr. Slyder, who was the most fashionable practitioner

in the City, spent his entire time moving to and fro in an almost

noiseless motor earnestly advising people to keep quiet. "You must keep

very quiet for a little while," he would say with a sigh, as he sat

beside a sick-bed. As he drew on his gloves in the hall below he would

shake his head very impressively and say, "You must keep him very

quiet," and so pass out, quite soundlessly. By this means Dr. Slyder

often succeeded in keeping people quiet for weeks. It was all the

medicine that he knew. But it was enough. And as his patients always

got well--there being nothing wrong with them--his reputation was

immense.

Very naturally the Wizard and his wife were impressed with him. They

had never seen such therapeutics in Cahoga County, where the practice

of medicine is carried on with forceps, pumps, squirts, splints, and

other instruments of violence.

The waiter had hardly gone when a boy appeared at the door. This time

he presented to Tomlinson not one telegram but a little bundle of them.

The Wizard read them with a lengthening face. The first ran something

like this, "Congratulate you on your daring market turned instantly";

and the next, "Your opinion justified market rose have sold at 20

points profit"; and a third, "Your forecast entirely correct C. P. rose

at once send further instructions."

These and similar messages were from brokers' offices, and all of them

were in the same tone; one told him that C. P. was up, and another T.

G. P. had passed 129, and another that T. C. R. R. had risen ten--all

of which things were imputed to the wonderful sagacity of Tomlinson.

Whereas if they had told him that X. Y. Z. had risen to the moon he

would have been just as wise as to what it meant.

"Well," said the wife of the Wizard as her husband finished looking

through the reports, "how are things this morning? Are they any better?"

"No," said Tomlinson, and he sighed as he said it; "this is the worst

day yet. It's just been a shower of telegrams, and mostly all the same.

I can't do the figuring of it like you can, but I reckon I must have

made another hundred thousand dollars since yesterday."

"You don't say so!" said mother, and they looked at one another

gloomily.

"And half a million last week, wasn't it?" said Tomlinson as he sank

into a chair. "I'm afraid, mother," he continued, "it's no good. We

don't know how. We weren't brought up to it."

All of which meant that if the editor of the _Monetary Afternoon_ or

_Financial Sunday_ had been able to know what was happening with the

two wizards, he could have written up a news story calculated to

electrify all America.

For the truth was that Tomlinson, the Wizard of Finance, was attempting

to carry out a _coup_ greater than any as yet attributed to him by the

Press. He was trying to lose his money. That, in the sickness of his

soul, crushed by the Grand Palaver, overwhelmed with the burden of high

finance, had become his aim, to be done with it, to get rid of his

whole fortune.

But if you own a fortune that is computed anywhere from fifty millions

up, with no limit at the top, if you own one-half of all the preferred

stock of an Erie Auriferous Consolidated that is digging gold in

hydraulic bucketfuls from a quarter of a mile of river bed, the task of

losing it is no easy matter.

There are men, no doubt, versed in finance, who might succeed in doing

it. But they have a training that Tomlinson lacked. Invest it as he

would in the worst securities that offered, the most rickety of stock,

the most fraudulent bonds, back it came to him. When he threw a handful

away, back came two in its place. And at every new coup the crowd

applauded the incomparable daring, the unparalleled prescience of the

Wizard.

Like the touch of Midas, his hand turned everything to gold.

"Mother," he repeated, "it's no use. It's like this here Destiny, as

the books call it."

* * * * *

The great fortune that Tomlinson, the Wizard of Finance, was trying his

best to lose had come to him with wonderful suddenness. As yet it was

hardly six months old. As to how it had originated, there were all

sorts of stories afloat in the weekly illustrated press. They agreed

mostly on the general basis that Tomlinson had made his vast fortune by

his own indomitable pluck and dogged industry. Some said that he had

been at one time a mere farm hand who, by sheer doggedness, had fought

his way from the hay-mow to the control of the produce market of

seventeen states. Others had it that he had been a lumberjack who, by

sheer doggedness, had got possession of the whole lumber forest of the

Lake district. Others said that he had been a miner in a Lake Superior

copper mine who had, by the doggedness of his character, got a

practical monopoly of the copper supply. These Saturday articles, at

any rate, made the Saturday reader rigid with sympathetic doggedness

himself, which was all that the editor (who was doggedly trying to make

the paper pay) wanted to effect.

But in reality the making of Tomlinson's fortune was very simple. The

recipe for it is open to anyone. It is only necessary to own a hillside

farm beside Lake Erie where the uncleared bush and the broken fields go

straggling down to the lake, and to have running through it a creek,

such as that called Tomlinson's, brawling among the stones and willows,

and to discover in the bed of a creek--a gold mine.

That is all.

Nor is it necessary in these well-ordered days to discover the gold for

one's self. One might have lived a lifetime on the farm, as Tomlinson's

father had, and never discover it for one's self. For that indeed the

best medium of destiny is a geologist, let us say the senior professor

of geology at Plutoria University. That was how it happened.

The senior professor, so it chanced, was spending his vacation near by

on the shores of the lake, and his time was mostly passed--for how

better can a man spend a month of pleasure?--in looking for

outcroppings of Devonian rock of the post-tertiary period. For which

purpose he carried a vacation hammer in his pocket, and made from time

to time a note or two as he went along, or filled his pockets with the

chippings of vacation rocks.

So it chanced that he came to Tomlinson's Creek at the very point where

a great slab of Devonian rock bursts through the clay of the bank. When

the senior professor of geology saw it and noticed a stripe like a mark

on a tiger's back--a fault he called it--that ran over the face of the

block, he was at it in an instant, beating off fragments with his

little hammer.

Tomlinson and his boy Fred were logging in the underbrush near by with

a long chain and yoke of oxen, but the geologist was so excited that he

did not see them till the sound of his eager hammer had brought them to

his side. They took him up to the frame house in the clearing, where

the chatelaine was hoeing a potato patch with a man's hat on her head,

and they gave him buttermilk and soda cakes, but his hand shook so that

he could hardly eat them.

The geologist left Cahoga station that night for the City with a

newspaper full of specimens inside his suit-case, and he knew that if

any person or persons would put up money enough to tear that block of

rock away and follow the fissure down, there would be found there

something to astonish humanity, geologists and all.

* * * * *

After that point in the launching of a gold mine the rest is easy.

Generous, warm-hearted men, interested in geology, were soon found.

There was no stint of money. The great rock was torn sideways from its

place, and from beneath it the crumbled, glittering rock-dust that

sparkled in the sun was sent in little boxes to the testing

laboratories of Plutoria University. There the senior professor of

geology had sat up with it far into the night in a darkened laboratory,

with little blue flames playing underneath crucibles, as in a

magician's cavern, and with the door locked. And as each sample that he

tested was set aside and tied in a cardboard box by itself, he labelled

it "aur. p. 75," and the pen shook in his hand as he marked it. For to

professors of geology those symbols mean "this is seventy-five per cent

pure gold." So it was no wonder that the senior professor of geology

working far into the night among the blue flames shook with excitement;

not, of course, for the gold's sake as money (he had no time to think

of that), but because if this thing was true it meant that an

auriferous vein had been found in what was Devonian rock of the

post-tertiary stratification, and if that was so it upset enough

geology to spoil a textbook. It would mean that the professor could

read a paper at the next Pan-Geological Conference that would turn the

whole assembly into a bedlam.

It pleased him, too, to know that the men he was dealing with were

generous. They had asked him to name his own price or the tests that he

made and when he had said two dollars per sample they had told him to

go right ahead. The professor was not, I suppose, a mercenary man, but

it pleased him to think that he could, clean up sixteen dollars in a

single evening in his laboratory. It showed, at any rate, that

businessmen put science at its proper value. Strangest of all was the

fact that the men had told him that even this ore was apparently

nothing to what there was; it had all come out of one single spot in

the creek, not the hundredth part of the whole claim. Lower down, where

they had thrown the big dam across to make the bed dry, they were

taking out this same stuff and even better, so they said, in cartloads.

The hydraulic dredges were tearing it from the bed of the creek all

day, and at night a great circuit of arc lights gleamed and sputtered

over the roaring labour of the friends of geological research.

Thus had the Erie Auriferous Consolidated broken in a tidal wave over

financial circles. On the Stock Exchange, in the downtown offices, and

among the palm trees of the Mausoleum Club they talked of nothing else.

And so great was the power of the wave that it washed Tomlinson and his

wife along on the crest of it, and landed them fifty feet up in their

thousand-dollar suite in the Grand Palaver. And as a result of it

"mother" wore a beetle-back jacket; and Tomlinson received a hundred

telegrams a day, and Fred quit school and ate chocolates.

But in the business world the most amazing thing about it was the

wonderful shrewdness of Tomlinson.

The first sign of it had been that he had utterly refused to allow the

Erie Auriferous Consolidated (as the friends of geology called

themselves) to take over the top half of the Tomlinson farm. For the

bottom part he let them give him one-half of the preferred stock in the

company in return for their supply of development capital. This was

their own proposition; in fact, they reckoned that in doing this they

were trading about two hundred thousand dollars' worth of machinery

for, say ten million dollars of gold. But it frightened them when

Tomlinson said "Yes" to the offer, and when he said that as to common

stock they might keep it, it was no use to him, they were alarmed and

uneasy till they made him take a block of it for the sake of market

confidence.

But the top end of the farm he refused to surrender, and the friends of

applied geology knew that there must be something pretty large behind

this refusal; the more so as the reason that Tomlinson gave was such a

simple one. He said that he didn't want to part with the top end of the

place because his father was buried on it beside the creek, and so he

didn't want the dam higher up, not for any consideration.

This was regarded in business circles as a piece of great shrewdness.

"Says his father is buried there, eh? Devilish shrewd that!"

It was so long since any of the members of the Exchange or the

Mausoleum Club had wandered into such places as Cahoga County that they

did not know that there was nothing strange in what Tomlinson said. His

father was buried there, on the farm itself, in a grave overgrown with

raspberry bushes, and with a wooden headstone encompassed by a square

of cedar rails, and slept as many another pioneer of Cahoga is sleeping.

"Devilish smart idea!" they said; and forthwith half the financial men

of the city buried their fathers, or professed to have done so, in

likely places--along the prospective right-of-way of a suburban

railway, for example; in fact, in any place that marked them out for

the joyous resurrection of an expropriation purchase.

Thus the astounding shrewdness of Tomlinson rapidly became a legend,

the more so as he turned everything he touched to gold.

They narrated little stories of him in the whiskey-and-soda corners of

the Mausoleum Club.

"I put it to him in a casual way," related, for example, Mr. Lucullus

Fyshe, "casually, but quite frankly. I said, 'See here, this is just a

bagatelle to you, no doubt, but to me it might be of some use. T. C.

bonds,' I said, 'have risen twenty-two and a half in a week. You know

as well as I do that they are only collateral trust, and that the stock

underneath never could and never can earn a par dividend. Now,' I said,

'Mr. Tomlinson, tell me what all that means?' Would you believe it, the

fellow looked me right in the face in that queer way he has and he

said, 'I don't know!'"

"He said he didn't know!" repeated the listener, in a tone of amazement

and respect. "By Jove! eh? he said he didn't know! The man's a wizard!"

"And he looked as if he didn't!" went on Mr. Fyshe. "That's the deuce

of it. That man when he wants to can put on a look, sir, that simply

means nothing, absolutely nothing."

In this way Tomlinson had earned his name of the Wizard of American

Finance.

And meantime Tomlinson and his wife, within their suite at the Grand

Palaver, had long since reached their decision. For there was one

aspect and only one in which Tomlinson was really and truly a wizard.

He saw clearly that for himself and his wife the vast fortune that had

fallen to them was of no manner of use. What did it bring them? The

noise and roar of the City in place of the silence of the farm and the

racket of the great rotunda to drown the remembered murmur of the

waters of the creek.

So Tomlinson had decided to rid himself of his new wealth, save only

such as might be needed to make his son a different kind of man from

himself.

"For Fred, of course," he said, "it's different. But out of such a lot

as that it'll be easy to keep enough for him. It'll be a grand thing

for Fred, this money. He won't have to grow up like you and me. He'll

have opportunities we never got." He was getting them already. The

opportunity to wear seven dollar patent leather shoes and a bell-shaped

overcoat with a silk collar, to lounge into moving-picture shows and

eat chocolates and smoke cigarettes--all these opportunities he was

gathering immediately. Presently, when he learned his way round a

little, he would get still bigger ones.

"He's improving fast," said mother. She was thinking of his patent

leather shoes.

"He's popular," said his father. "I notice it downstairs. He sasses any

of them just as he likes; and no matter how busy they are, as soon as

they see it's Fred they're all ready to have a laugh with him."

Certainly they were, as any hotel clerk with plastered hair is ready to

laugh with the son of a multimillionaire. It's a certain sense of

humour that they develop.

"But for us, mother," said the Wizard, "we'll be rid of it. The gold is

there. It's not right to keep it back. But we'll just find a way to

pass it on to folks that need it worse than we do."

For a time they had thought of giving away the fortune. But how? Who

did they know that would take it?

It had crossed their minds--for who could live in the City a month

without observing the imposing buildings of Plutoria University, as

fine as any departmental store in town?--that they might give it to the

college.

But there, it seemed, the way was blocked.

"You see, mother," said the puzzled Wizard, "we're not known. We're

strangers. I'd look fine going up there to the college and saying, 'I

want to give you people a million dollars.' They'd laugh at me!"

"But don't one read it in the papers," his wife had protested, "where

Mr. Carnegie gives ever so much to the colleges, more than all we've

got, and they take it?"

"That's different," said the Wizard. "He's in with them. They all know

him. Why, he's a sort of chairman of different boards of colleges, and

he knows all the heads of the schools, and the professors, so it's no

wonder that if he offers to give a pension, or anything, they take it.

Just think of me going up to one of the professors up there in the

middle of his teaching and saying; 'I'd like to give you a pension for

life!' Imagine it! Think what he'd say!"

But the Tomlinsons couldn't imagine it, which was just as well.

So it came about that they had embarked on their system. Mother, who

knew most arithmetic, was the leading spirit. She tracked out all the

stocks and bonds in the front page of the _Financial Undertone_, and on

her recommendation the Wizard bought. They knew the stocks only by

their letters, but this itself gave a touch of high finance to their

deliberations.

"I'd buy some of this R.O.P. if I was you," said mother; "it's gone

down from 127 to 107 in two days, and I reckon it'll be all gone in ten

days or so."

"Wouldn't 'G.G. deb.' be better? It goes down quicker."

"Well, it's a quick one," she assented, "but it don't go down so

steady. You can't rely on it. You take ones like R.O.P. and T.R.R.

pfd.; they go down all the time and you know where you are."

As a result of which, Tomlinson would send his instructions. He did it

all from the rotunda in a way of his own that he had evolved with a

telegraph clerk who told him the names of brokers, and he dealt thus

through brokers whom he never saw. As a result of this, the sluggish

R.O.P. and T.R.R. would take as sudden a leap into the air as might a

mule with a galvanic shock applied to its tail. At once the word was

whispered that the "Tomlinson interests" were after the R.O.P. to

reorganize it, and the whole floor of the Exchange scrambled for the

stock.

And so it was that after a month or two of these operations the Wizard

of Finance saw himself beaten.

"It's no good, mother," he repeated, "it's just a kind of Destiny."

Destiny perhaps it was.

But, if the Wizard of Finance had known it, at this very moment when he

sat with the Aladdin's palace of his golden fortune reared so strangely

about him, Destiny was preparing for him still stranger things.

Destiny, so it would seem, was devising Its own ways and means of

dealing with Tomlinson's fortune. As one of the ways and means, Destiny

was sending at this moment as its special emissaries two huge, portly

figures, wearing gigantic goloshes, and striding downwards from the

halls of Plutoria University to the Grand Palaver Hotel. And one of

these was the gigantic Dr. Boomer, the president of the college, and

the other was his professor of Greek, almost as gigantic as himself.

And they carried in their capacious pockets bundles of pamphlets on

"Archaeological Remains of Mitylene," and the "Use of the Greek

Pluperfect," and little treatises such as "Education and Philanthropy,"

by Dr. Boomer, and "The Excavation of Mitylene: An Estimate of Cost,"

by Dr. Boyster, "Boomer on the Foundation and Maintenance of Chairs,"

etc.

Many a man in city finance who had seen Dr. Boomer enter his office

with a bundle of these monographs and a fighting glitter in his eyes

had sunk back in his chair in dismay. For it meant that Dr. Boomer had

tracked him out for a benefaction to the University, and that all

resistance was hopeless.

When Dr. Boomer once laid upon a capitalist's desk his famous pamphlet

on the "Use of the Greek Pluperfect," it was as if an Arabian sultan

had sent the fatal bow-string to a condemned pasha, or Morgan the

buccaneer had served the death-sign on a shuddering pirate.

So they came nearer and nearer, shouldering the passers-by. The sound

of them as they talked was like the roaring of the sea as Homer heard

it. Never did Castor and Pollux come surging into battle as Dr. Boomer

and Dr. Boyster bore down upon the Grand Palaver Hotel.

Tomlinson, the Wizard of Finance, had hesitated about going to the

university. The university was coming to him. As for those millions of

his, he could take his choice--dormitories, apparatus, campuses,

buildings, endowment, anything he liked but choose he must. And if he

feared that, after all, his fortune was too vast even for such a

disposal, Dr. Boomer would show him how he might use it in digging up

ancient Mitylene, or modern Smyrna, or the lost cities of the Plain of

Pactolus. If the size of the fortune troubled him, Dr. Boomer would dig

him up the whole African Sahara from Alexandria to Morocco, and ask for

more.

But if Destiny held all this for Tomlinson in its outstretched palm

before it, it concealed stranger things still beneath the folds of its

toga.

There were enough surprises there to turn the faces of the whole

directorate of the Erie Auriferous Consolidated as yellow as the gold

they mined.

For at this very moment, while the president of Plutoria University

drew nearer and nearer to the Grand Palaver Hotel, the senior professor

of geology was working again beside the blue flames in his darkened

laboratory. And this time there was no shaking excitement over him. Nor

were the labels that he marked, as sample followed sample in the tests,

the same as those of the previous marking. Not by any means.

And his grave face as he worked in silence was as still as the stones

of the post-tertiary period.

Arcadian Adventures with the Idle Rich · 第 7 / 17 题