CHAPTER ONE: A Little Dinner with Mr. Lucullus Fyshe

The Mausoleum Club stands on the quietest corner of the best

residential street in the City. It is a Grecian building of white

stone. About it are great elm trees with birds--the most expensive kind

of birds--singing in the branches.

The street in the softer hours of the morning has an almost reverential

quiet. Great motors move drowsily along it, with solitary chauffeurs

returning at 10.30 after conveying the earlier of the millionaires to

their downtown offices. The sunlight flickers through the elm trees,

illuminating expensive nurse-maids wheeling valuable children in little

perambulators. Some of the children are worth millions and millions. In

Europe, no doubt, you may see in the Unter den Linden avenue or the

Champs Elysees a little prince or princess go past with a clattering

military guard of honour. But that is nothing. It is not half so

impressive, in the real sense, as what you may observe every morning on

Plutoria Avenue beside the Mausoleum Club in the quietest part of the

city. Here you may see a little toddling princess in a rabbit suit who

owns fifty distilleries in her own right. There, in a lacquered

perambulator, sails past a little hooded head that controls from its

cradle an entire New Jersey corporation. The United States

attorney-general is suing her as she sits, in a vain attempt to make

her dissolve herself into constituent companies. Near by is a child of

four, in a khaki suit, who represents the merger of two trunk-line

railways. You may meet in the flickered sunlight any number of little

princes and princesses far more real than the poor survivals of Europe.

Incalculable infants wave their fifty-dollar ivory rattles in an

inarticulate greeting to one another. A million dollars of preferred

stock laughs merrily in recognition of a majority control going past in

a go-cart drawn by an imported nurse. And through it all the sunlight

falls through the elm trees, and the birds sing and the motors hum, so

that the whole world as seen from the boulevard of Plutoria Avenue is

the very pleasantest place imaginable.

Just below Plutoria Avenue, and parallel with it, the trees die out and

the brick and stone of the City begins in earnest. Even from the Avenue

you see the tops of the sky-scraping buildings in the big commercial

streets, and can hear or almost hear the roar of the elevated railway,

earning dividends. And beyond that again the City sinks lower, and is

choked and crowded with the tangled streets and little houses of the

slums.

In fact, if you were to mount to the roof of the Mausoleum Club itself

on Plutoria Avenue you could almost see the slums from there. But why

should you? And on the other hand, if you never went up on the roof,

but only dined inside among the palm trees, you would never know that

the slums existed which is much better.

There are broad steps leading up to the club, so broad and so agreeably

covered with matting that the physical exertion of lifting oneself from

one's motor to the door of the club is reduced to the smallest compass.

The richer members are not ashamed to take the steps one at a time,

first one foot and then the other; and at tight money periods, when

there is a black cloud hanging over the Stock Exchange, you may see

each and every one of the members of the Mausoleum Club dragging

himself up the steps after this fashion, his restless eyes filled with

the dumb pathos of a man wondering where he can put his hand on half a

million dollars.

But at gayer times, when there are gala receptions at the club, its

steps are all buried under expensive carpet, soft as moss and covered

over with a long pavilion of red and white awning to catch the

snowflakes; and beautiful ladies are poured into the club by the

motorful. Then, indeed, it is turned into a veritable Arcadia; and for

a beautiful pastoral scene, such as would have gladdened the heart of a

poet who understood the cost of things, commend me to the Mausoleum

Club on just such an evening. Its broad corridors and deep recesses are

filled with shepherdesses such as you never saw, dressed in beautiful

shimmering gowns, and wearing feathers in their hair that droop off

sideways at every angle known to trigonometry. And there are shepherds,

too, with broad white waistcoats and little patent leather shoes and

heavy faces and congested cheeks. And there is dancing and conversation

among the shepherds and shepherdesses, with such brilliant flashes of

wit and repartee about the rise in Wabash and the fall in Cement that

the soul of Louis Quatorze would leap to hear it. And later there is

supper at little tables, when the shepherds and shepherdesses consume

preferred stocks and gold-interest bonds in the shape of chilled

champagne and iced asparagus, and great platefuls of dividends and

special quarterly bonuses are carried to and fro in silver dishes by

Chinese philosophers dressed up to look like waiters.

But on ordinary days there are no ladies in the club, but only the

shepherds. You may see them sitting about in little groups of two and

three under the palm trees drinking whiskey and soda; though of course

the more temperate among them drink nothing but whiskey and Lithia

water, and those who have important business to do in the afternoon

limit themselves to whiskey and Radnor, or whiskey and Magi water.

There are as many kinds of bubbling, gurgling, mineral waters in the

caverns of the Mausoleum Club as ever sparkled from the rocks of

Homeric Greece. And when you have once grown used to them, it is as

impossible to go back to plain water as it is to live again in the

forgotten house in a side street that you inhabited long before you

became a member.

Thus the members sit and talk in undertones that float to the ear

through the haze of Havana smoke. You may hear the older men explaining

that the country is going to absolute ruin, and the younger ones

explaining that the country is forging ahead as it never did before;

but chiefly they love to talk of great national questions, such as the

protective tariff and the need of raising it, the sad decline of the

morality of the working man, the spread of syndicalism and the lack of

Christianity in the labour class, and the awful growth of selfishness

among the mass of the people.

So they talk, except for two or three that drop off to directors'

meetings; till the afternoon fades and darkens into evening, and the

noiseless Chinese philosophers turn on soft lights here and there among

the palm trees. Presently they dine at white tables glittering with cut

glass and green and yellow Rhine wines; and after dinner they sit again

among the palm-trees, half-hidden in the blue smoke, still talking of

the tariff and the labour class and trying to wash away the memory and

the sadness of it in floods of mineral waters. So the evening passes

into night, and one by one the great motors come throbbing to the door,

and the Mausoleum Club empties and darkens till the last member is

borne away and the Arcadian day ends in well-earned repose.

* * * * *

"I want you to give me your opinion very, very frankly," said Mr.

Lucullus Fyshe on one side of the luncheon table to the Rev. Fareforth

Furlong on the other.

"By all means," said Mr. Furlong.

Mr. Fyshe poured out a wineglassful of soda and handed it to the rector

to drink.

"Now tell me very truthfully," he said, "is there too much carbon in

it?"

"By no means," said Mr. Furlong.

"And--quite frankly--not too much hydrogen?"

"Oh, decidedly not."

"And you would not say that the percentage of sodium bicarbonate was

too great for the ordinary taste?"

"I certainly should not," said Mr. Furlong, and in this he spoke the

truth.

"Very good then," said Mr. Fyshe, "I shall use it for the Duke of

Dulham this afternoon."

He uttered the name of the Duke with that quiet, democratic

carelessness which meant that he didn't care whether half a dozen other

members lunching at the club could hear or not. After all, what was a

duke to a man who was president of the People's Traction and Suburban

Co., and the Republican Soda and Siphon Co-operative, and chief

director of the People's District Loan and Savings? If a man with a

broad basis of popular support like that was proposing to entertain a

duke, surely there could be no doubt about his motives? None at all.

Naturally, too, if a man manufactures soda himself, he gets a little

over-sensitive about the possibility of his guests noticing the

existence of too much carbon in it.

In fact, ever so many of the members of the Mausoleum Club manufacture

things, or cause them to be manufactured, or--what is the same

thing--merge them when they are manufactured. This gives them their

peculiar chemical attitude towards their food. One often sees a member

suddenly call the head waiter at breakfast to tell him that there is

too much ammonia in the bacon; and another one protest at the amount of

glucose in the olive oil; and another that there is too high a

percentage of nitrogen in the anchovy. A man of distorted imagination

might think this tasting of chemicals in the food a sort of nemesis of

fate upon the members. But that would be very foolish, for in every

case the head waiter, who is the chief of the Chinese philosophers

mentioned above, says that he'll see to it immediately and have the

percentage removed. And as for the members themselves, they are about

as much ashamed of manufacturing and merging things as the Marquis of

Salisbury is ashamed of the founders of the Cecil family.

What more natural, therefore, than that Mr. Lucullus Fyshe, before

serving the soda to the Duke, should try it on somebody else? And what

better person could be found for this than Mr. Furlong, the saintly

young rector of St. Asaph's, who had enjoyed the kind of expensive

college education calculated to develop all the faculties. Moreover, a

rector of the Anglican Church who has been in the foreign mission field

is the kind of person from whom one can find out, more or less

incidentally, how one should address and converse with a duke, and

whether you call him, "Your Grace," or "His Grace," or just "Grace," or

"Duke," or what. All of which things would seem to a director of the

People's Bank and the president of the Republican Soda Co. so trivial

in importance that he would scorn to ask about them.

So that was why Mr. Fyshe had asked Mr. Furlong to lunch with him, and

to dine with him later on in the same day at the Mausoleum Club to meet

the Duke of Dulham. And Mr. Furlong, realizing that a clergyman must be

all things to all men and not avoid a man merely because he is a duke,

had accepted the invitation to lunch, and had promised to come to

dinner, even though it meant postponing the Willing Workers' Tango

Class of St. Asaph's until the following Friday.

Thus it had come about that Mr. Fyshe was seated at lunch, consuming a

cutlet and a pint of Moselle in the plain downright fashion of a man so

democratic that he is practically a revolutionary socialist, and

doesn't mind saying so; and the young rector of St. Asaph's was sitting

opposite to him in a religious ecstasy over a _salmi_ of duck.

"The Duke arrived this morning, did he not?" said Mr. Furlong.

"From New York," said Mr. Fyshe. "He is staying at the Grand Palaver. I

sent a telegram through one of our New York directors of the Traction,

and his Grace has very kindly promised to come over here to dine."

"Is he here for pleasure?" asked the rector.

"I understand he is--" Mr. Fyshe was going to say "about to invest a

large part of his fortune in American securities," but he thought

better of it. Even with the clergy it is well to be careful. So he

substituted "is very much interested in studying American conditions."

"Does he stay long?" asked Mr. Furlong.

Had Mr. Lucullus Fyshe replied quite truthfully, he would have said,

"Not if I can get his money out of him quickly," but he merely

answered, "That I don't know."

"He will find much to interest him," went on the rector in a musing

tone. "The position of the Anglican Church in America should afford him

an object of much consideration. I understand," he added, feeling his

way, "that his Grace is a man of deep piety."

"Very deep," said Mr. Fyshe.

"And of great philanthropy?"

"Very great."

"And I presume," said the rector, taking a devout sip of the unfinished

soda, "that he is a man of immense wealth?"

"I suppose so," answered Mr. Fyshe quite carelessly. "All these fellows

are." (Mr. Fyshe generally referred to the British aristocracy as

"these fellows.") "Land, you know, feudal estates; sheer robbery, I

call it. How the working-class, the proletariat, stand for such tyranny

is more than I can see. Mark my words, Furlong, some day they'll rise

and the whole thing will come to a sudden end."

Mr. Fyshe was here launched upon his favourite topic; but he

interrupted himself, just for a moment, to speak to the waiter.

"What the devil do you mean," he said, "by serving asparagus half-cold?"

"Very sorry, sir," said the waiter, "shall I take it out?"

"Take it out? Of course take it out, and see that you don't serve me

stuff of that sort again, or I'll report you."

"Very sorry, sir," said the waiter.

Mr. Fyshe looked at the vanishing waiter with contempt upon his

features. "These pampered fellows are getting unbearable." he said. "By

Gad, if I had my way I'd fire the whole lot of them: lock 'em out, put

'em on the street. That would teach 'em. Yes, Furlong, you'll live to

see it that the whole working-class will one day rise against the

tyranny of the upper classes, and society will be overwhelmed."

But if Mr. Fyshe had realized that at that moment, in the kitchen of

the Mausoleum Club, in those sacred precincts themselves, there was a

walking delegate of the Waiters' International Union leaning against a

sideboard, with his bowler hat over one corner of his eye, and talking

to a little group of the Chinese philosophers, he would have known that

perhaps the social catastrophe was a little nearer than even he

suspected.

* * * * *

"Are you inviting anyone else tonight?" asked Mr. Furlong.

"I should have liked to ask your father," said Mr. Fyshe, "but

unfortunately he is out of town."

What Mr. Fyshe really meant was, "I am extremely glad not to have to

ask your father, whom I would not introduce to the Duke on any account."

Indeed, Mr. Furlong, senior, the father of the rector of St. Asaph's,

who was President of the New Amalgamated Hymnal Corporation, and

Director of the Hosanna Pipe and Steam Organ, Limited, was entirely the

wrong man for Mr. Fyshe's present purpose. In fact, he was reputed to

be as smart a man as ever sold a Bible. At this moment he was out of

town, busied in New York with the preparation of the plates of his new

Hindu Testament (copyright); but had he learned that a duke with

several millions to invest was about to visit the city, he would not

have left it for the whole of Hindustan.

"I suppose you are asking Mr. Boulder," said the rector.

"No," answered Mr. Fyshe very decidedly, dismissing the name absolutely.

Indeed, there was even better reason not to introduce Mr. Boulder to

the Duke. Mr. Fyshe had made that sort of mistake once, and never

intended to make it again. It was only a year ago, on the occasion of

the visit of young Viscount FitzThistle to the Mausoleum Club, that Mr.

Fyshe had introduced Mr. Boulder to the Viscount and had suffered

grievously thereby. For Mr. Boulder had no sooner met the Viscount than

he invited him up to his hunting-lodge in Wisconsin, and that was the

last thing known of the investment of the FitzThistle fortune.

This Mr. Boulder of whom Mr. Fyshe spoke might indeed have been seen at

that moment at a further table of the lunch room eating a solitary

meal, an oldish man with a great frame suggesting broken strength, with

a white beard and with falling under-eyelids that made him look as if

he were just about to cry. His eyes were blue and far away, and his

still, mournful face and his great bent shoulders seemed to suggest all

the power and mystery of high finance.

Gloom indeed hung over him. For, when one heard him talk of listed

stocks and cumulative dividends, there was as deep a tone in his quiet

voice as if he spoke of eternal punishment and the wages of sin.

Under his great hands a chattering viscount, or a sturdy duke, or a

popinjay Italian marquis was as nothing.

Mr. Boulder's methods with titled visitors investing money in America

were deep. He never spoke to them of money, not a word. He merely

talked of the great American forest--he had been born sixty-five years

back, in a lumber state--and, when he spoke of primeval trees and the

howl of the wolf at night among the pines, there was the stamp of

reality about it that held the visitor spellbound; and when he fell to

talking of his hunting-lodge far away in the Wisconsin timber, duke,

earl, or baron that had ever handled a double-barrelled express rifle

listened and was lost.

"I have a little place," Mr. Boulder would say in his deep tones that

seemed almost like a sob, "a sort of shooting box, I think you'd call

it, up in Wisconsin; just a plain place"--he would add, almost

crying--"made of logs."

"Oh, really," the visitor would interject, "made of logs. By Jove, how

interesting!"

All titled people are fascinated at once with logs, and Mr. Boulder

knew it--at least subconsciously.

"Yes, logs," he would continue, still in deep sorrow; "just the plain

cedar, not squared, you know, the old original timber; I had them cut

right out of the forest."

By this time the visitor's excitement was obvious. "And is there game

there?" he would ask.

"We have the timber-wolf," said Mr. Boulder, his voice half choking at

the sadness of the thing, "and of course the jack wolf and the lynx."

"And are they ferocious?"

"Oh, extremely so--quite uncontrollable."

On which the titled visitor was all excitement to start for Wisconsin

at once, even before Mr. Boulder's invitation was put in words.

And when he returned a week later, all tanned and wearing

bush-whackers' boots, and covered with wolf bites, his whole available

fortune was so completely invested in Mr. Boulder's securities that you

couldn't have shaken twenty-five cents out of him upside down.

Yet the whole thing had been done merely incidentally round a big fire

under the Wisconsin timber, with a dead wolf or two lying in the snow.

So no wonder that Mr. Fyshe did not propose to invite Mr. Boulder to

his little dinner. No, indeed. In fact, his one aim was to keep Mr.

Boulder and his log house hidden from the Duke.

And equally no wonder that as soon as Mr. Boulder read of the Duke's

arrival in New York, and saw by the _Commercial Echo and Financial

Undertone_ that he might come to the City looking for investments, he

telephoned at once to his little place in Wisconsin--which had, of

course, a primeval telephone wire running to it--and told his steward

to have the place well aired and good fires lighted; and he especially

enjoined him to see if any of the shanty men thereabouts could catch a

wolf or two, as he might need them.

* * * * *

"Is no one else coming then?" asked the rector.

"Oh yes. President Boomer of the University. We shall be a party of

four. I thought the Duke might be interested in meeting Boomer. He may

care to hear something of the archaeological remains of the continent."

If the Duke did so care, he certainly had a splendid chance in meeting

the gigantic Dr. Boomer, the president of Plutoria University.

If he wanted to know anything of the exact distinction between the

Mexican Pueblo and the Navajo tribal house, he had his opportunity

right now. If he was eager to hear a short talk--say half an hour--on

the relative antiquity of the Neanderthal skull and the gravel deposits

of the Missouri, his chance had come. He could learn as much about the

stone age and the bronze age, in America, from President Boomer, as he

could about the gold age and the age of paper securities from Mr. Fyshe

and Mr. Boulder.

So what better man to meet a duke than an archaeological president?

And if the Duke should feel inclined, as a result of his American visit

(for Dr. Boomer, who knew everything, understood what the Duke had come

for), inclined, let us say, to endow a chair in Primitive Anthropology,

or do any useful little thing of the sort, that was only fair business

all round; or if he even was willing to give a moderate sum towards the

general fund of Plutoria University--enough, let us say, to enable the

president to dismiss an old professor and hire a new one--that surely

was reasonable enough.

The president, therefore, had said yes to Mr. Fyshe's invitation with

alacrity, and had taken a look through the list of his more incompetent

professors to refresh his memory.

* * * * *

The Duke of Dulham had landed in New York five days before and had

looked round eagerly for a field of turnips, but hadn't seen any. He

had been driven up Fifth Avenue and had kept his eyes open for

potatoes, but there were none. Nor had he seen any shorthorns in

Central Park, nor any Southdowns on Broadway. For the Duke, of course,

like all dukes, was agricultural from his Norfolk jacket to his

hobnailed boots.

At his restaurant he had cut a potato in two and sent half of it to the

head waiter to know if it was Bermudian. It had all the look of an

early Bermudian, but the Duke feared from the shading of it that it

might be only a late Trinidad. And the head waiter sent it to the chef,

mistaking it for a complaint, and the chef sent it back to the Duke

with a message that it was not a Bermudian but a Prince Edward Island.

And the Duke sent his compliments to the chef, and the chef sent his

compliments to the Duke. And the Duke was so pleased at learning this

that he had a similar potato wrapped up for him to take away, and

tipped the head waiter twenty-five cents, feeling that in an

extravagant country the only thing to do is to go the people one

better. So the Duke carried the potato round for five days in New York

and showed it to everybody. But beyond this he got no sign of

agriculture out of the place at all. No one who entertained him seemed

to know what the beef that they gave him had been fed on; no one, even

in what seemed the best society, could talk rationally about preparing

a hog for the breakfast table. People seemed to eat cauliflower without

distinguishing the Denmark variety from the Oldenburg, and few, if any,

knew Silesian bacon even when they tasted it. And when they took the

Duke out twenty-five miles into what was called the country, there were

still no turnips, but only real estate, and railway embankments, and

advertising signs; so that altogether the obvious and visible decline

of American agriculture in what should have been its leading centre

saddened the Duke's heart. Thus the Duke passed four gloomy days.

Agriculture vexed him, and still more, of course, the money concerns

which had brought him to America.

Money is a troublesome thing. But it has got to be thought about even

by those who were not brought up to it. If, on account of money

matters, one has been driven to come over to America in the hope of

borrowing money, the awkwardness of how to go about it naturally makes

one gloomy and preoccupied. Had there been broad fields of turnips to

walk in and Holstein cattle to punch in the ribs, one might have

managed to borrow it in the course of gentlemanly intercourse, as from

one cattle-man to another. But in New York, amid piles of masonry and

roaring street-traffic and glittering lunches and palatial residences

one simply couldn't do it.

Herein lay the truth about the Duke of Dulham's visit and the error of

Mr. Lucullus Fyshe. Mr. Fyshe was thinking that the Duke had come to

_lend_ money. In reality he had come to _borrow_ it. In fact, the Duke

was reckoning that by putting a second mortgage on Dulham Towers for

twenty thousand sterling, and by selling his Scotch shooting and

leasing his Irish grazing and sub-letting his Welsh coal rent he could

raise altogether a hundred thousand pounds. This for a duke, is an

enormous sum. If he once had it he would be able to pay off the first

mortgage on Dulham Towers, buy in the rights of the present tenant of

the Scotch shooting and the claim of the present mortgagee of the Irish

grazing, and in fact be just where he started. This is ducal finance,

which moves always in a circle.

In other words the Duke was really a poor man--not poor in the American

sense, where poverty comes as a sudden blighting stringency, taking the

form of an inability to get hold of a quarter of a million dollars, no

matter how badly one needs it, and where it passes like a storm-cloud

and is gone, but poor in that permanent and distressing sense known

only to the British aristocracy. The Duke's case, of course, was

notorious, and Mr. Fyshe ought to have known of it. The Duke was so

poor that the Duchess was compelled to spend three or four months every

year at a fashionable hotel on the Riviera simply to save money, and

his eldest son, the young Marquis of Beldoodle, had to put in most of

his time shooting big game in Uganda, with only twenty or twenty-five

beaters, and with so few carriers and couriers and such a dearth of

elephant men and hyena boys that the thing was a perfect scandal. The

Duke indeed was so poor that a younger son, simply to add his efforts

to those of the rest, was compelled to pass his days in mountain

climbing in the Himalayas, and the Duke's daughter was obliged to pay

long visits to minor German princesses, putting up with all sorts of

hardship. And while the ducal family wandered about in this

way--climbing mountains, and shooting hyenas, and saving money, the

Duke's place or seat, Dulham Towers, was practically shut up, with no

one in it but servants and housekeepers and gamekeepers and tourists;

and the picture galleries, except for artists and visitors and

villagers, were closed; and the town house, except for the presence of

servants and tradesmen and secretaries, was absolutely shut. But the

Duke knew that rigid parsimony of this sort, if kept up for a

generation or two, will work wonders, and this sustained him; and the

Duchess knew it, and it sustained her; in fact, all the ducal family,

knowing that it was only a matter of a generation or two, took their

misfortune very cheerfully.

The only thing that bothered the Duke was borrowing money. This was

necessary from time to time when loans or mortgages fell in, but he

hated it. It was beneath him. His ancestors had often taken money, but

had never borrowed it, and the Duke chafed under the necessity. There

was something about the process that went against the grain. To sit

down in pleasant converse with a man, perhaps almost a gentleman, and

then lead up to the subject and take his money from him, seemed to the

Duke's mind essentially low. He could have understood knocking a man

over the head with a fire shovel and taking his money, but not

borrowing it.

So the Duke had come to America, where borrowing is notoriously easy.

Any member of the Mausoleum Club, for instance, would borrow fifty

cents to buy a cigar, or fifty thousand dollars to buy a house, or five

millions to buy a railroad with complete indifference, and pay it back,

too, if he could, and think nothing of it. In fact, ever so many of the

Duke's friends were known to have borrowed money in America with

magical ease, pledging for it their seats or their pictures, or one of

their daughters--anything.

So the Duke knew it must be easy. And yet, incredible as it may seem,

he had spent four days in New York, entertained everywhere, and made

much of, and hadn't borrowed a cent. He had been asked to lunch in a

Riverside palace, and, fool that he was, had come away without so much

as a dollar to show for it. He had been asked to a country house on the

Hudson, and, like an idiot--he admitted it himself--hadn't asked his

host for as much as his train fare. He had been driven twice round

Central Park in a motor and had been taken tamely back to his hotel not

a dollar the richer. The thing was childish, and he knew it. But to

save his life the Duke didn't know how to begin. None of the things

that he was able to talk about seemed to have the remotest connection

with the subject of money. The Duke was able to converse reasonably

well over such topics as the approaching downfall of England (they had

talked of it at Dulham Towers for sixty years), or over the duty of

England towards China, or the duty of England to Persia, or its duty to

aid the Young Turk Movement, and its duty to check the Old Servia

agitation. The Duke became so interested in these topics and in

explaining that while he had never been a Little Englander he had

always been a Big Turk, and that he stood for a Small Bulgaria and a

Restricted Austria, that he got further and further away from the topic

of money, which was what he really wanted to come to; and the Duke rose

from his conversations with a look of such obvious distress on his face

that everybody realized that his anxiety about England was killing him.

And then suddenly light had come. It was on his fourth day in New York

that he unexpectedly ran into the Viscount Belstairs (they had been

together as young men in Nigeria, and as middle-aged men in St.

Petersburg), and Belstairs, who was in abundant spirits and who was

returning to England on the _Gloritania_ at noon the next day,

explained to the Duke that he had just borrowed fifty thousand pounds,

on security that wouldn't be worth a halfpenny in England.

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