(Herman climbs up on a chair, where he remains all through the
scene. Enter Antonius.)
ANTONIUS. Here, here! What the devil are you doing?
HERMAN. I have no intention of doing anything; on the contrary, I am
about to hang myself to avoid everything. If you will keep me
company, it will be a pleasure to me.
ANTONIUS. Indeed I will not; but what brings you to such a desperate
intention?
HERMAN. Listen, Antonius! it won't do any good to discuss it. I am
to be hanged; if it doesn't happen to-day, it will happen to-morrow.
I only beg, before I die, that you will pay my respects to Madam
Burgomaster and the young lady, and instruct them to give me the
following epitaph:
Traveller, stand and heed!
Here hangs
Burgomaster von Bremenfeld,
Who in his whole term of office
Spent not a minute in sleep:
Go forth and do likewise.
You may not know, dear Antonius, that I have been made burgomaster,
that I have attained a position in which I don't know black from
white, and where I find myself utterly incompetent; for I have
observed, from the various tribulations which I have already met,
that there is a great difference between being the government and
criticising the government.
ANTONIUS. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
HERMAN. Don't laugh at me, Antonius! It is a sin to do it.
ANTONIUS. Ha, ha, ha! Now I see how it all works out. I was at the
inn just now, and I heard people there bursting with laughter over a
joke which had been played on Herman von Bremen, who had been made
to believe by some young men that he had been elected burgomaster,
to see how he would act. That pained me through and through and I
came straight here, to warn you.
HERMAN. Ah, then I'm not a burgomaster at all?
ANTONIUS. No; the story was made out of whole cloth, to show you the
foolishness of arguing about high subjects that you don't
understand.
HERMAN. Then it's not true about the foreign president?
ANTONIUS. Certainly not.
HERMAN. Or the master hatter either?
ANTONIUS. All fabricated.
HERMAN. Nor the sailors?
ANTONIUS. No, no.
HERMAN. To the devil with hanging, then! Geske! Engelke! Peiter!
Henrich! Come here, all of you!