(Enter Herman and Henrich.)
FIRST LAWYER. From the bottom of our hearts we wish the honorable
Burgomaster the greatest success in his high position in our city,
and hope that in gentleness, foresight, and vigilance he may not
fall behind his predecessors, inasmuch as his Excellency has made
his way to this high office not through wealth, family, or friends,
but purely by reason of his well-known great virtues, learning, and
experience in affairs of state.
HERMAN. Tres humble servitoor!
SECOND LAWYER. Especially do we rejoice that we have now an
administration endowed not only with almost godlike understanding--
HERMAN. I thank God--
SECOND LAWYER.--but one who has the reputation of being friendly to
all and of making it his greatest delight to hear the people's
grievances and to help to right them. I may say that I almost
fainted with joy when I first heard the news that the choice had
fallen on Burgomaster von Bremen.
HENRICH. You must say "Bremenfeld," gentlemen.
SECOND LAWYER. I humbly beg your pardon: I should say, "Burgomaster
von Bremenfeld." To-day we have come here, in the first place to
extend our respectful congratulations; in the second place to
consult your Magnificence on a difference that has arisen between
our clients, which difference we had both agreed to have judged
according to the common law of the land and the statutes. But we
subsequently changed our mind and decided, in order to save time and
costs, to submit ourselves to your judgment, and we promise to abide
by that.
(Herman sits down, leaving the others standing.)
FIRST LAWYER. Our clients are neighbors, but there is running water
separating their land. Now it happened that three years ago the
water loosened a large piece of earth from my client's estate and
deposited it on my opponent's field. Shall he now own it? Is it not
stated: Nemo alterius damno debet locupletari? Here his client
wishes to enrich himself at my client's expense, which aperte
conflicts with aequitatem naturalem. Is that not so, Mr.
Burgomaster?
HERMAN. Of course; it is unjust to ask that. You are right,
monsieur!
SECOND LAWYER. But does not Justinian say expressly, libro secundo
Institutionum, titulo prima, de Alluvione...
HERMAN. What the deuce do I care for what Justinian or Alexander the
Great says? They lived a few thousand years, perhaps, before Hamburg
was founded. How can they decide in cases which didn't exist in
their time?
SECOND LAWYER. I hope, however, that your Honor is not going to
reject the laws that all Germany has submitted to.
HERMAN. That was not the way I meant it; you misunderstood me, I
only meant to say--(He has a coughing fit.) Kindly continue your
case.
SECOND LAWYER. There are the words of Justinian: Quod per alluvionem
agro tuo flumen adjecit, jure gentium tibi acquiritur.
HERMAN. Mr. Lawyer, you speak so devilish fast--say that over, more
distinctly. (The lawyer repeats the Latin slowly.) Monsieur, you
have a devilish bad Latin pronunciation. Speak your mother-tongue,
and you will do better. I don't say this because I have any
prejudice against Latin, for I sometimes sit and talk Latin with my
servant for hours at a time. Isn't that so, Henrich?
HENRICH. It is wonderful to hear his Honor talk Latin; I swear the
tears come into my eyes when I think of it. It is like listening to
peas boiling in a pot, the words come so quickly from his mouth. The
devil himself doesn't know how a man can manage to talk so fluently.
But what won't long practice do for you?
SECOND LAWYER. Justinian's words, your Magnificence, are as follows:
Whatsoever a river wears off another's field and casts up on yours,
that belongs to you.
HERMAN. Yes, Justinian is right so far, for he was a fine man. I
have much too much respect for him to question his decision.
FIRST LAWYER. But, your Honor, my opponent interprets law as the
devil does the Bible. He forgets what follows right after: Per
alluvionem autem videtur id adjici, quod ita paulatim adjicitur, ut
intellegere non possis, quantum quoquo temporis momenta adjiciatur.
HERMAN. Messieurs! I must go to the City Hall. The clock has just
struck half-past four. Henrich! See to it that you adjust this suit
in the entry.
FIRST LAWYER. Ah, your Honor! Give us your opinion in a word.
HERMAN. Messieurs, you are both right, each one in his own way.
SECOND LAWYER. How can we both be right? I maintain that if I am
right, my antagonist is wrong. The law of Justinian is expressly in
my favor.
HERMAN. Excuse me, I must be off to the City Hall immediately.
FIRST LAWYER (seizing hold of him). I have certainly proved that
Justinian's opinion is on my side.
HERMAN. Yes, that is so. Justinian is for both of you. Why the
devil, then, don't you compromise? You don't know Justinian as well
as I do; when he wears the mantle on both shoulders, it is as much
as to say: Get out, you scurvy-necks, and compromise!
SECOND LAWYER. Your Honor, in order to grasp the jurist's meaning
correctly, one must compare one article with another. Is it not
written in the very next paragraph: Quodsi vis fluminis de tuo
praedio--?
HERMAN. Here, let me go, you pettifoggers! Don't you hear me say I
must go to the City Hall?
FIRST LAWYER. Oh, your Honor! A moment! Let us now hear what Hugo
Grotius says.
HERMAN. To the devil with both you and Hugo Grotius! What have I to
do with Hugo Grotius? He was an Arminian. What in the devil have
laws to do with us that people make way off in Armenia? Henrich, put
them straight out the door. [Exeunt Lawyers.