though I may fail to convince you; I can never desire to see my
dear girls, who have been loved, valued, and considered as rational
creatures in their own home, become a part of the _retinue_ of a
man of fashion; and therefore I neither intend to introduce them
upon a theatre where success is failure according to my notion of
things, nor attempt to infuse a new class of doctrines upon the
nature of happiness into their guiltless hearts. Let us go on in
our accustomed routine, and if there ever was a case to which we
may apply the maxim 'If ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise,'
you will admit its force upon that in question, for _so_ happy are
my dear children at Glenalta, that visionary dreams of joy seem
not to pass beyond its well-known boundary. When the mind is full
of resource, it is wonderfully independent, and suffers none of
that _ennui_ which is the disease of vacancy. From the birth of
my children to the present time, they have never heard that there
was an _effect_ to be produced by any thing they learned except
the natural consequences that grow out of virtue and occupation.
Marriage may, or may not, be their portion; should it be so, the
characters of their husbands may probably differ, as their own do,
from each other; and thus far I meet your views, that I should
be sorry to see any child of mine marry so imprudently as to
plunge into the sordid cares of life without consideration. Should
misfortune bring poverty, and the Almighty try his creatures by
affliction, how beautiful is it _then_ to behold the exertions
which the finest minds are capable of making when sustained by
religious submission, and encouraged by fond affection; but to
_place_ ourselves _willingly_ in situations which our strength may
not prove sufficient to admit of our filling conscientiously, is
to presume upon our own powers, and is therefore dangerous. You
see then, my dear boy, that as far as my opinion may have weight,
you are not to expect any accession to your worldly pride from
the Douglas family, who are very unambitious people; and, though
I trust that they will never 'disgrace you,' I fear that you must
be contented to love them for their _own_ sakes, and not for any
flattering unction to be derived through their future destiny.
No, I hardly think it likely that Emily, Charlotte, or Fanny,
will ever contribute their aid to a high-sounding paragraph in
the newspapers; but I shall indeed be disappointed if they are
satisfied with less than sense and affection, if they marry."
"My dear aunt, you mistake me: as much sense as you like; and you
cannot imagine that I could be such a barbarian as to fancy that
any man who married one of my cousins should be so deficient in
good taste as not to love her as well as men generally love their
wives. Remember, that the happiest home of infancy must, in the
course of nature, dissolve; and then what becomes of a luckless
sisterhood of old maids, who, having suffered the spring and summer
to pass by unheeded, in vain deplore their idle improvidence, and
fret away the gloomy remnant of their days on earth in sourness and
solitude?" "A dismal picture, indeed," replied my aunt, "I must
try if I cannot draw one less dispiriting. In the first place you
acknowledge that, according to _your_ scheme, sense and affection,
though not _principals_, are useful _accessories_, and are to be
taken as make-weights into the scale of happiness. Now my idea is,
that this is to expect too much, and more than experience will
realize, unless in some instance perhaps of extraordinary exception
upon which we have no right to calculate. If you marry for rank,
you _obtain_ it, and should be satisfied with your bargain; if for
fortune, you have gained your object, and must not complain: the
contract is fair, though you receive only that for which you make
your agreement; and it is quite unjust to suppose that perfections
which you never sought, and qualities of which you never went in
search, will be added to heap up your measure."
"The happiest home of early life must in nature's course dissolve,
you say: agreed; but, the affrighting scene of unavailing misery
which you have painted, is not the necessary consequence of such
an event. _I_ can imagine three sisters who may not have been
tempted to quit the paternal roof by meeting such congeniality of
character as they deemed essential to happiness, living together as
kindly in the decline, as in the meridian of life. I can imagine
them to look abroad without envy, and at home without disgust.
If excluded from some enjoyments which belong to another mode of
existence, they are spared also many of the evils which attach to
it, and with this advantage, that while the former are precarious,
the latter are inevitable. The brightest anticipations founded on
the most apparently stable foundation, may _possibly_ deceive, but
the physical suffering, and the anxious care which are inseparable
from the maternal relation, are penalties from which there is no
exemption. No bill of indemnity can set aside a mother's pangs;
and be assured, that were women endowed with the gift of oracular
foresight, and like the ancient Sybils capable of peeping into
the cup of futurity, very few would have courage to taste the
bitter draught which marriage too frequently mingles to allure by
promises, and poison by disappointment. The fondest affection, the
kindest support, and all the inestimable charms of sympathetic
companionship, may indeed render the conjugal union an antepast
of heaven; but such contracts of folly and avarice, as are but too
often sealed in what you call the world, represent as truly a state
of severest punishment; and between these extremes, a single lot
is far to be preferred to the compromise which matrimony in its
average of calculation _usually_ exhibits. The great purposes of
life are, however, fulfilled at the expense of individual ease,
and many a spirit learns in the school of adversity, those blessed
lessons of humility and dependence upon a Heavenly Father, that pay
with such peace 'as the world can neither give nor take away' for
the infliction of an earthly husband."
"Well, my ears," said I, "are unaccustomed to such language. I
confess it is no less new than surprising; yet that I may know the
full extent of your deviation from modern creeds, perhaps you will
describe the sort of helpmate to whose guardianship _you_ would
entrust a daughter?"
"Most willingly, Arthur. The peculiar temperament of each
individual stamps an impress of its own upon the mind, and,
according to the variety of taste, will be our selection of
such qualities in a friend, as harmonize with its distinctive
character. Marriage has been eloquently described as 'the queen
of friendships,' and yet the monarch fares less well than any of
her subjects; and while the choice of a companion who is only to
travel in our society for a few short miles upon the continent, is
governed by kindred feeling and pursuits, the journey which is to
end but with life, is undertaken upon the most flimsy ground of
temporary whim or expediency. Is this rational, is it consistent
conduct?"
"Then may I ask, my dear aunt, do you conceive it really necessary
that two people must have learned the same arts, have studied
the same sciences, and read the same books; spoken in the same
languages, thought the same thoughts, and been in fact, like Helen
and Hermia, 'a double cherry seeming parted, but yet a union in
partition;' to make a reasonably happy, suitable jog-trot couple in
the holy bands of wedlock?"
"Not entirely, though perhaps the more of such similarity the
better; but Arthur, you asked for a description, and you shall
have one. After the great leading bond of sympathy upon religion
and moral conduct, the _grain_ of character is most essential to
happiness in married life. There is a fineness of texture in some
minds which cannot endure contact with what is coarse, any more
than cambrick will bear being united to sail-cloth. The unequal
tissue will give way, and the more delicate fabric will be torn to
atoms. The mere matters of acquirement may differ without injury
to affection, an interchange may take place, which shall borrow
sweetness from its source; and even that which possessed no charms
to invite its acquisition, may become delightful, if taught by, or
studied for the sake of a being whom we love. I knew a lady whose
husband was a barrister; they adored each other, but they were
poor, and professional industry could not be dispensed with. Their
mornings were necessarily passed in the performance of separate
duties; but when the business of the day was over, and the evening
hearth burned brightly as they sat together, a doubt would arise
whether the most enchanting of all gratifications, each others'
society, was not a luxury too great for _them_. The doubt ended
in certainty, that law reading ought to supersede the charms of
conversation, and what was the result? that affection was too
powerful to be selfish, or rather _self_ was extended to a second
and a dearer object. The wife determined to convert a solitary and
painful duty, into a social delight; she insisted on joining in
her husband's study, and several of the driest and most difficult
books were read aloud to each other in succession. The experiment
answered to admiration. They were engaged _together_, and this was
enough to make them happy. What was distasteful to one, and at
first unintelligible to the other, became amusement; and in the
morning's walk, were often discussed the cases which had occupied
the previous afternoon. Memory was improved by this exercise: a
little time enabled the lady still farther to share the fatigues
of a beloved partner in noting his briefs, and assisting in other
professional cares, rewarded by the delight of knowing that her
presence was necessary to the happiness of him who formed her own.
Arthur, such is what _I_ call affection, and such is my idea of
companionship in wedded love."
My heart glowed, and I could not speak; I gazed on my aunt: her
cheek was slightly flushed, and her eyes had acquired the deep
and clear expression which brought to my mind that exquisite
description in the Prisoner of Chillon.
"The eye of most transparent light
That almost made the dungeon bright."
We both paused: when, recovering from a momentry lapse of thought,
she continued: "I knew another wife whose husband was employed for
several years in various diplomatic trusts of high importance. He
was an invalid, and frequently incapaciated from taking part in
public affairs; but the faithful friend of his bosom who was a most
admirable linguist, wrote his letters in five different tongues,
and was supposed to be a native in them all. Can you match these
instances of connubial tenderness and confidence in the frigid
annals of fashion? Turn, my Arthur, from the heartless trammels,
and dare to be free."
"Such women," said I, "as you have represented, would soon
revolutionize the world, and bring about a mighty change in the
motives that influence marriage; but instances like these occur at
intervals, just to shew us of what your sex is _capable_, and that
is all."
"Alas, Arthur," replied my aunt, "women rarely discover objects
amongst men worthy of exciting powerful affection, and none but
slaves will bestow the semblance where the reality does not
exist. Men and women act and re-act reciprocally on each other's
characters, and though exceptions may appear, you will find it
easy in general to decide upon one sex, by the merits or demerits
of the other, allowing for those differences between them which
distinguishes each from its opposite."
"How then," said I, "is a new order of things to be effected? _One_
swallow does not make a summer.
"The change would be achieved with-out any difficulty, my child,
would each individual only throw off the artificial shackles which
are imposed by opinion upon the heart and understanding. Nature
is so lovely, truth so captivating, that one would _imagine_ it no
hard matter to disengage the mind from the bondage of a factitious
yoke, and I return to their gentle empire. Yet this is all that we
are called upon to do, and that only with _ourselves_. If our early
years were passed in laying up store for futurity in practising the
affections within the circle of those whom God has given to be our
nearest and dearest ties, in cultivating intellect, and acquiring
useful knowledge, we should need no farther security against the
mistakes of after life. Religion, virtue, wisdom, and good taste,
would be our guides as well as our protectors."
"Aunt, 'almost thou persuadest me;' but you named religion, and
before we conclude I must say a word upon that part of the subject."
At this instant who should appear at the entrance of a moss-house,
in which my aunt and I had been seated for the last half hour, but
Oliphant, Charlotte, and Fanny? They had taken a round of the wood,
and were returning when this _contre tems_ took place. I blushed
immoderately. It was such a topic to be caught in the act of
discussing; but my confusion did not last long.
What a blessing is _tact_! That monosyllable contains a volume. My
aunt saw, I suppose, exactly all that was passing across my mind--
"_Caciata del core fuge nel volto_,"--and, instantly seizing on
Charlotte's hand, she said, "My love, I want you and Fanny to run
home and send the little car to me. I am a wee bit tired; I will
keep Mr. Oliphant and Arthur here, till Paddy and poney arrive."
Like lightning, the nymph disappeared, and, quietly turning to me
as if our dialogue had suffered no interruption, "I am so glad that
just as we wanted Mr. Oliphant, he has come to our aid," said my
aunt. "He will be quite at home in answering your last question."
She then in a moment playfully informed Domine of our single
combat, "which," added she "was fairly fought, and rather
favourably to my side at the close, till Arthur rallying his
forces, to make a powerful stand, entrenched himself under an
authority to which, were it against me, I should implicitly submit;
but I will now place _you_ in my stead; and, as I am sure that
Arthur was _going_ to say (no _young_ ladies being present) that
female inferiority is supported by that volume, from which there is
no appeal at Glenalta, I am not without hope that you will drive my
nephew from this last fastness."
"I accept the challenge," said Oliphant, "and thank you for the
post which you allot to me, as the laurel of victory already
circles round my brow; but I must hear my adversary state his case."
Thus forced into a tilting match with the tutor, I laughed,
and assured him that I had never presumed upon encountering so
formidable an enemy; but as it would be a tacit confession that
my cause was weak, were I to remain silent, "I must own," said I,
"that Mrs. Douglas precisely hit upon what I was going to urge,
namely, that however modern manners, to which my aunt discovers
so little gratitude, have _raised_ women to the pedestal on which
they stand, the Bible tells a different tale; and were it even
true that female pride had got a fall through fashion's fiat, would
not such depreciation be exact conformity with holy writ?"
"Were it so," answered the _giant_ of learning, "Mrs. Douglas
would neither lament nor contend against her fate, but the Bible
is peculiarly her sanctuary of refuge, from which, when driven to
its sacred shelter by the taunts of the world, she might proudly
exclaim, 'it was not thus, when we came from the hands of God.'"
"No, my dear sir, man was created in God's own image; 'male and
female created he them.' Eve (the meaning of which word is life)
was formed after, and _out of_ man. She was not given to him as
property, but given 'to be with him,' as a companion, because he
would have been a cheerless, as also a useless animal without
her. The original Hebrew implies no superiority, nor inferiority.
Adam and Eve were the counterparts of each other. Eve was bone
of bone, flesh of flesh, to her husband, _both_ endowed with
immortality, _both_ invested with rule over all creatures of the
earth. The word woman is from the Hebrew _Ish_, signifying man,
which, when simply altered by two letters to _Ishau_, literally
means she-man. _Andris_ is the female form of _Aner_, man, in the
Greek; and in Arabic we have _Imrat_, she-man, from _Imree_, man.
Every man should consider woman as a part of himself; and when,
as a punishment for her disobedience, the heavy denunciation was
issued that Eve should be subject to her _husband_, it was not
required by their Maker that she should resign any part of that
understanding, any prerogative of heart or intellect, which had
originally been bestowed, when she was formed his equal in power.
Both man and woman were deprived of immortality. Death came into
the world with sin, and with _these_, woman's legal bondage to
her _husband_; but beyond this limit you cannot proceed. On the
contrary, though the brutal habits of eastern tyranny debased the
sex, to which inferior bodily strength had been from the first
communicated, yet was it exalted in the moment of depression by Him
who called it into being, and inflicted the curse. The woman was to
bruise the serpent's head. She was the first destroyer, and was
permitted to be the first in the chain of restoration, by being the
appointed medium, the _sole_ earthly parent of the Saviour. When
Abraham was entitled Father of the faithful, Sarah received like
honour, and was named their Mother; and when our blessed Lord came
upon earth, from one end to the other of his ministry, there is
not a syllable to be found derogatory of the female sex. He loved
Mary as a sister; and upon various occasions distinguished certain
women by particular expressions of affectionate approbation. There
is no authority in the Bible from Genesis to Revelation for the
opinion that you hold; and with respect to punishment inflicted by
Deity for transgression, a generous feeling would naturally suggest
the desire of lightening rather than aggravating its infliction,
especially when we reflect that the only difference between the
culprits lay in the measure of delinquency. Adam and his sons have
no cause of triumph; and I never read the story of the fall without
considering with humiliation the first proof afforded of a lowered
nature in our common progenitor, when to save himself from the
principal condemnation, he selfishly consigned his partner to the
wrath of offended divinity. When our Saviour arose from the dead,
it was to his faithful female followers that he first revealed
himself; and, as a concluding remark, permit me to observe, that
if, as we are assured unequivocally, women are equal inheritors of
the skies, it ill befits us to refuse them their rights on earth.
No, sir, depend upon it, when men cannot support themselves, except
by asserting that power which the laws have conferred upon them,
they are _hard run_, and the edifice is tottering when it requires
a buttress. The nobler animals are all _quiescent_. The lion
reposes in his strength, and knowing how much he can command, is
slow at making exhibition of his force; but "man, proud man!"
"Dressed in a little brief authority,
Plays such fantastic tricks before high heaven,
As make the angels weep."
"I remember, sir," said I, "to have seen once, in the library of a
gentleman, who, by the bye, was a most complete domestic despot, an
odd sort of a book, entitled "Rights of Women."
"Are you acquainted with, and an approver of that work?"--"No,
young gentleman, that is a book which has long ago found its
resting-place amid dust and cobwebs. When new, it was a wretched
thing, and is now forgotten; but you found it, as the mineralogists
express themselves, _in situ_, when you discovered a stray copy on
the shelves of a tyrant. The brawlers about liberty are generally
fond of keeping it all to themselves. The French revolution, which
was before your time, set many heads distracted, and loosened
the whole frame-work of our morals; but we are sobered, and have
consigned to oblivion the grosser absurbities of that disjointed
period.
"Women have real and substantial rights, natural as well as civil,
which no one attempts to dispute; and they are fools when they part
with them, unless to secure a greater good than they relinquish;
but marriage is the rock upon which multitudes make shipwreck,
because from the present constitution of things, that solemn act
of life is performed with less consideration than people commonly
employ in the purchase of a field. Men, after a career of folly,
begin to look about them, and think it wise to _settle_, before
time has thinned their locks and scattered silver over the flowing
honours of youth. Women sigh for what are called establishments;
and happiness slides out of a scheme in which no provision has been
made for its entertainment. Take an old man's advice, Mr. Howard,
be as deliberate in your selection as you please, and I hope that
you will not marry till you know your own mind; but when you _do_
become a Benedick, let your Beatrice be the friend of your bosom,
the companion of your life, and a partner in all your pains,
pleasures, and pursuits."
I was not prepared to contradict, for the truth is, that Domine
told me more in half a dozen sentences than I ever heard before.
However, not to appear as if I had suddenly lost _my speech_, I
gently hinted, "that Solomon was usually thought a wise man, upon
the authority of the Scriptures; and he declares that, in his
search after wisdom, he had never found _one_ woman to reward his
pains."
"Truly, that is not very wonderful," said Oliphant. "When the men,
who possessed all the advantages that superior power bestowed,
made so little use of it towards the cultivation of knowledge
and virtue, that Solomon complains of not finding a man of worth
in _a thousand_, no wonder that amongst the weaker sex, who were
kept in the lowest state of slavery and degradation, he should
not discover any who, deprived of the benefit of education, and
shut out from the light of truth, had broken her bonds, and soared
above the horrible debasement to which females were condemned by
their rulers. The Christian Religion, of which that Bible that
you lately quoted as authority for the servitude of women, is the
sacred repository, is in fact the charter of female liberty; and
in proportion as the Sun of Righteousness shines with more or less
refulgence in any land, in such proportion is woman respected."
"Pray then, Mr. Oliphant, how comes it that the sense of mankind
has always been taking a contrary course? A boy is hardly out of
his nurse's arms, before he hears of his superiority over his
sisters. When he goes to school, the first grammar that his lisping
tongue is turned to repeat, tells him that his sex is most worthy.
In the _world_, one hears women only estimated by their beauty,
or their wealth; and in families we see them nothing better than
the wrecks of a former day, little loved by their husbands, or
respected by their children."
"_Hinc illæ lachrymæ_," answered my opponent, "in _one_ sense
the male sex is decidedly superior--I mean in strength; and were
this employed in supporting the weak, instead of oppressing them,
the female world would not be disposed to grudge men a supremacy
of which they would themselves enjoy the happy fruits. But as to
your nursery nonsense, an elder son is always told that he is as
much above his younger brothers, as his sisters; and so he is,
by the laws of primogeniture, which give him the estate. Yet I
suppose that there are few such blockheads as to believe, that
because a man happens to come into the world before his brethren,
he is therefore invested with a patent of superior intellectual
endowment. On the contrary, it often happens, that elder sons,
satisfied with the gifts of fortune, take little trouble with their
minds, and are, in point of cultivation, at the _tail_ instead
of the _head_ of their Houses. Grammar rules prove nothing. They
were made by _men_, and according to vulgar estimates of physical
force; and as _to the world_, the most convincing proof in my eyes
of its degeneracy in our day, is to be found in the impertinent
neglect of women, so frequently observable in the _soi-disant_ men
of fashion. To sum up the argument: the sexes differ from each
other, but _difference_ implies nothing of better or worse, taller
or shorter, wiser or less wise. They are _different_, and each
beautifully adapted by the eternal Creator to fulfil the purposes
for which it was designed. The man stronger, more active--made to
encounter danger, and endure fatigue. The woman more delicate,
more refined, formed to sooth by her tenderness, to watch over the
helpless, comfort the unfortunate, and be the balm of human kind.
In mental capacity Nature has dealt with impartial bounty, and the
most splendid talents are to be found in that sex, which I grieve
to add, too rarely exercise their powers. Rely upon it, that men
are not less manly for sharing their privileges, nor women less
feminine for profiting by the boon. The age of Chivalry is gone,
and it would be well to restore it.
"Look, my dear young gentleman, around you at Glenalta. Is
Frederick less likely to attain the gold medal at his University,
or is he less ardent in pursuit of game in the fields, because he
loves his mother and sisters, and would be unwilling to enjoy any
gratification in which they were not partakers? Turn your eyes
upon the dear gentle trio of your fair cousins, and tell me are
they less pleasing, less modest, less artless, and happy, because,
with minds well stored, they can always find resources at home,
for which others are vainly seeking abroad? Are they less elegant
because they are independent, or less delicate because they neither
shriek at a wasp, nor faint at the sight of a spider?"--