SCENE I.--_Elsinore. A Platform before the Castle. As the
Curtain rises, shouts and laughs are heard without. A Village
Maiden rushes in, as if pursued. She hides herself behind the
sentry-box, and then escapes. FRANCISCO, who is on his post,
looks about, and is surrounded by Danish Gallants, who have
come in pursuit of the Maiden. He threatens them with his
arms, and only one remains, who seems overcome by wine. The
intoxicated Gallant is masked, and evidently very much the
worse for liquor. He clumsily draws his sword. FRANCISCO
is about to despatch him, when the mask falls, and in the
dissipated reveller the Sentry recognises the bloated features
of LAERTES. He immediately presents arms, as LAERTES
is his superior officer. LAERTES, half-sobered by this
suggestion of discipline, wishes to retire unseen, and gives
largesse to FRANCISCO. The Sentry is greatly gratified, when
to them enters BERNARDO._
_Ber._ Who's there?
_Fran._ (_sheltering LAERTES, who stealthily retires by
a rope-ladder which falls from the battlements to the moat
below_). Nay, answer me. Stand and unfold yourself!
By my version I really introduce a most interesting underplot, which,
in my opinion, is equally pleasing and quite as defensible as Mr.
BEERBOHM TREE's business with _Ophelia_.
Yours, A STICKLER.
* * * * *
[Illustration: HUMAN NATURE.
_Jones has always professed the greatest Indifference to (and contempt
for) all Press Criticisms on his Work (although he takes in all the
Papers)._
YET THIS IS WHAT HE LOOKED LIKE WHEN HIS NEW NOVEL WAS PRONOUNCED A
WORK OF GENIUS BY THE _UPPER TOOTING EXPRESS_.
AND THIS IS HOW HE APPEARED WHEN THE _NORTH CLAPHAM GAZETTE_ DISMISSED
THAT IMMORTAL BOOK AS A PIECE OF DRIVELLING SENILE TWADDLE.
AND THIS IS THE WAY HE TREATS ALL NEWSPAPERS, REVIEWS, PERIODICALS,
&C., &C., THAT LEAVE THE IMMORTAL BOOK UNNOTICED!]
* * * * *