thank you enough!—Said she, You deserve more than I can express; for,
to all that know your story, you are a matchless person. You are an
ornament to our sex and your virtue, though Mr. B—— is so generous as
he is, has met with no more than its due reward. God long bless you
together!
You are, said my dearest sir, very good to me, madam, I am sure. I have
taken liberties in my former life, that deserved not so much
excellence. I have offended extremely, by trials glorious to my Pamela,
but disgraceful to me, against a virtue that I now consider as almost
sacred; and I shall not think I deserve her, till I can bring my
manners, my sentiments, and my actions, to a conformity with her own.
In short, my Pamela, continued he, I want you to be nothing but what
you are, and have been. You cannot be better; and if you could, it
would be but filling me with despair to attain the awful heights of
virtue at which you have arrived. Perhaps, added the dear gentleman,
the scene I have beheld within these twelve hours, has made me more
serious than otherwise I should have been: but I’ll assure you, before
all this good company, I speak the sentiments of my heart, and those
not of this day only.
What a happy daughter is yours, O my dear father and mother! I owe it
all to God’s grace, and to yours and my good lady’s instructions: And
to these let me always look back with grateful acknowledgments, that I
may not impute to myself, and be proud, my inexpressible happiness.
The company were so kindly pleased with our concern, and my dear
master’s goodness, that he, observing their indulgence, and being
himself curious to know the further particulars of what had passed
between my lady and me, repeated his question, What she had called me
besides wench and creature? And I said, My lady, supposing I was
wicked, lamented over me, very kindly, my depravity and fall, and said,
What a thousand pities it was, so much virtue, as she was pleased to
say, was so destroyed; and that I had yielded, after so noble a stand!
as she said.
Excuse me, gentlemen and ladies, said I! you know my story, it seems;
and I am commanded, by one who has a title to all my obedience, to
proceed.
They gave all of them bows of approbation, that they might not
interrupt me; and I continued my story—the men-servants withdrawing, at
a motion of Mr. B——, on my looking towards them: and then, at Lady
Darnford’s coming in, I proceeded.
I told her ladyship, that I was still innocent, and would be so, and it
was injurious to suppose me otherwise. Why, tell me, wench, said
she—But I think I must not tell you what she said. Yes, do, said my
master, to clear my sister; we shall think it very bad else.
I held my hand before my face—Why, she said, Tell me, wench, hast thou
not been—hesitating—a very free creature with thy master? That she
said, or to that effect—And when I said, She asked strange questions,
and in strange words, she ridiculed my delicacy, as she called it; and
said, My niceness would not last long. She said, I must know I was not
really married, that my ring was only a sham, and all was my cunning to
cloak my yielding, and get better terms. She said, She knew the world
as much at thirty-two, as I did at sixteen; and bid me remember that.
I took the liberty to say, (but I got a good way off,) that I scorned
her ladyship’s words, and was as much married as her ladyship. And then
I had certainly been cuffed, if her woman had not interposed, and told
her I was not worthy her anger; and that I was as much to be pitied for
my credulity, as despised for my vanity.
My poor Pamela, said my master, this was too, too hard upon you! O sir,
said I, how much easier it was to me than if it had been so!—That would
have broken my heart quite!—For then I should have deserved it all, and
worse; and these reproaches, added to my own guilt, would have made me
truly wretched!
Lady Darnford, at whose right-hand I sat, kissed me with a kind of
rapture, and called me a sweet exemplar for all my sex. Mr. Peters said
very handsome things; so did Mr. Perry and Sir Simon, with tears in his
eyes, said to my master, Why, neighbour, neighbour, this is excellent,
by my troth. I believe there is something in virtue, that we had not
well considered. On my soul, there has been but one angel come down for
these thousand years, and you have got her.
Well, my dearest, said my master, pray proceed with your story until,
we have done supper, since the ladies seem pleased with it. Why, sir,
said I, her ladyship went on in the same manner; but said, one time,
(and held me by the hand,) she would give me an hundred guineas for one
provoking word; or, if I would but say I believed myself married, that
she might fell me at her foot: But, sir, you must not be angry with her
ladyship. She called me painted dirt, baby-face, waiting-maid, beggar’s
brat, and beggar-born; but I said, As long as I knew my innocence, I
was easy in every thing, but to have my dear parents abused. They were
never beggars, nor beholden to any body; nor to any thing but God’s
grace and their own labour; that they once lived in credit; that
misfortunes might befall any body; and that I could not bear they
should be treated so undeservedly.
Then her ladyship said, Ay, she supposed my master’s folly would make
us set up for a family, and that the heralds’ office would shortly be
searched to make it out.
Exactly my sister again! said he. So you could not please her any way?
No, indeed, sir. When she commanded me to fill her a glass of wine, and
would not let her woman do it, she asked, If I was above it? I then
said, If to attend your ladyship at table, or even kneel at your feet,
was required of me, I would most gladly do it, were I only the person
you think me. But if it be to triumph over one, who has received
honours which she thinks require from her another part, that she may
not be utterly unworthy of them, I must say, I cannot do it. This quite
astonished her ladyship; and a little before, her kinsman brought me
the bottle and glass, and required me to fill it for my lady, at her
command, and called himself my deputy: And I said, ’Tis in a good hand;
help my lady yourself. So, sir, added I, you see I could be a little
saucy upon occasion.
You please me well, my Pamela, said he. This was quite right. But
proceed.
Her ladyship said, She was astonished! adding, She supposed I would
have her look upon me as her brother’s wife: And asked me, What, in the
name of impudence, possessed me, to dare to look upon myself as her
sister? And I said, That was a question better became her most worthy
brother to answer, than me. And then I thought I should have had her
ladyship upon me; but her woman interposed.
I afterwards told Mrs. Jewkes, at the window, that since I was hindered
from going to you, I believed it was best to let Robert go with the
chariot, and say, Lady Davers was come, and I could not leave her
ladyship. But this did not please; and I thought it would too; for she
said, No, no, he’ll think I make the creature my companion, and know
not how to part with her.
Exactly, said he, my sister again.
And she said, I knew nothing what belonged to people of condition; how
should I?—What shall I say, madam? said I. Nothing at all, answered
she; let him expect his dearest love, alluding to your kind epithet in
your letter, and be disappointed; it is but adding a few more hours to
this heavy absence, and every one will become a day in his amorous
account.
So, to be short, I saw nothing was to be done; and I feared, sir, you
would wonder at my stay, and be angry; and I watched my opportunity,
till my lady, who was walking about the room, was at the further end;
and the parlour being a ground-floor, in a manner, I jumped out at the
window, and ran for it.
Her ladyship called after me; so did her woman; and I heard her say, I
flew like a bird; and she called two of her servants in sight to stop
me; but I said, Touch me at your peril, fellows! And Mr. Colbrand,
having been planted at hand by Mrs. Jewkes, (who was very good in the
whole affair, and incurred her ladyship’s displeasure, once or twice,
by taking my part,) seeing how I was used, put on a fierce look, cocked
his hat with one hand, and put t’other on his sword, and said, he would
chine the man who offered to touch his lady. And so he ran alongside of
me, and could hardly keep pace with me:—And here, my dear sir,
concluded I, I am, at yours and the good company’s service.
They seemed highly pleased with my relation; and my master said, he was
glad Mrs. Jewkes behaved so well, as also Mr. Colbrand. Yes, sir, said
I: when Mrs. Jewkes interposed once, her ladyship said, It was hard,
she, who was born in that house, could not have some privilege in it,
without being talked to by the saucy servants. And she called her
another time fat-face, and womaned her most violently.
Well, said my master, I am glad, my dear, you have had such an escape.
My sister was always passionate, as Mrs. Peters knows: And my poor
mother had enough to do with us both. For we neither of us wanted
spirit: and when I was a boy, I never came home from school or college
for a few days, but though we longed to see one another before, yet ere
the first day was over, we had a quarrel; for she, being seven years
older than I, was always for domineering over me, and I could not bear
it. And I used, on her frequently quarrelling with the maids, and being
always at a word and a blow, to call her Captain Bab; for her name is
Barbara. And when my Lord Davers courted her, my poor mother has made
up quarrels between them three times in a day; and I used to tell her,
she would certainly beat her husband, marry whom she would, if he did
not beat her first, and break her spirit.
Yet has she, continued he, very good qualities. She was a dutiful
daughter, is a good wife; she is bountiful to her servants, firm in her
friendships, charitable to the poor, and, I believe, never any sister
better loved a brother, than she me: and yet she always loved to vex
and tease me; and as I would bear a resentment longer than she, she’d
be one moment the most provoking creature in the world, and the next
would do any thing to be forgiven; and I have made her, when she was
the aggressor, follow me all over the house and garden to be upon good
terms with me.
But this case piques her more, because she had found out a match for me
in the family of a person of quality, and had set her heart upon
bringing it to effect, and had even proceeded far in it, without my
knowledge, and brought me into the lady’s company, unknowing of her
design. But I was then averse to matrimony upon any terms; and was
angry at her proceeding in it so far without my privity or
encouragement: And she cannot, for this reason, bear the thoughts of my
being now married, and to her mother’s waiting-maid too, as she reminds
my dear Pamela, when I had declined her proposal with the daughter of a
noble earl.
This is the whole case, said he; and, allowing for the pride and
violence of her spirit, and that she knows not, as I do, the
transcendent excellencies of my dear Pamela, and that all her view, in
her own conception, is mine and the family honour, she is a little to
be allowed for: Though, never fear, my Pamela, but that I, who never
had a struggle with her, wherein I did not get the better, will do you
justice, and myself too.
This account of Lady Davers pleased every body, and was far from being
to her ladyship’s disadvantage in the main; and I would do any thing in
the world to have the honour to be in her good graces: Yet I fear it
will not be easily, if at all, effected. But I will proceed.
After supper, nothing would serve Miss Darnford and Miss Boroughs, but
we must have a dance; and Mr. Peters, who plays a good fiddle, urged it
forward. My dear master, though in a riding-dress, took out Miss
Boroughs.
Sir Simon, for a man of his years, danced well, and took me out; but
put on one of his free jokes, that I was fitter to dance with a younger
man; and he would have it, (though I had not danced since my dear
lady’s death to signify, except once or twice to please Mrs. Jervis,
and, indeed, believed all my dancing days over,) that as my master and
I were the best dancers, we should dance once together, before folks,
as the odd gentleman said; and my dear sir was pleased to oblige him:
And afterwards danced with Miss Darnford, who has much more skill and
judgment than I; though they compliment me with an easier shape and
air.
We left the company with great difficulty at about eleven, my dear
master having been up all night before, and we being at the greatest
distance from home; though they seemed inclinable not to break up so
soon, as they were neighbours; and the ladies said, They longed to hear
what would be the end of Lady Davers’s interview with her brother.
My master said, He feared we must not now think of going next day to
Bedfordshire, as we had intended; and perhaps might see them again. And
so we took leave, and set out for home; where we arrived not till
twelve o’clock; and found Lady Davers had gone to bed about eleven,
wanting sadly that we should come home first; but so did not I.
Mrs. Jewkes told us, That my lady was sadly fretted that I had got away
so; and seemed a little apprehensive of what I would say of the usage I
had received from her. She asked Mrs. Jewkes, if she thought I was
really married? And Mrs. Jewkes telling her yes, she fell into a
passion, and said, Begone, bold woman, I cannot bear thee! See not my
face till I send for thee! Thou hast been very impudent to me once or
twice to-day already, and art now worse than ever. She said, She would
not have told her ladyship, if she had not asked her; and was sorry she
had offended.
She sent for her at supper time: Said she, I have another question to
ask thee, woman, and tell me yes, if thou darest. Was ever any thing so
odd?—Why then, said Mrs. Jewkes, I will say No, before your ladyship
speaks.—My master laughed: Poor woman! said he.—She called her
insolent, and assurance; and said, Begone, bold woman as thou art!—but
come hither. Dost thou know if that young harlot is to be with my
brother to-night?
She said she knew not what to answer, because she had threatened her if
she said yes. But at last my lady said, I will know the bottom of this
iniquity. I suppose they won’t have so much impudence to be together
while I’m in the house; but I dare say they have been bed-fellows.
Said she, I will lie to-night in the room I was born in; so get that
bed ready. That room being our bedchamber, Mrs. Jewkes, after some
hesitation, replied, Madam, my master lies there, and has the key. I
believe, woman, said she, thou tellest me a story. Indeed, madam, said
she, he does; and has some papers there he will let nobody see; for
Mrs. Jewkes said, she feared she would beat her if she went up, and
found by my clothes, and some of my master’s, how it was.
So she said, I will then lie in the best room, as it is called; and
Jackey shall lie in the little green room adjoining to it. Has thy
master got the keys of those?—No, madam, said Mrs. Jewkes: I will order
them to be made ready for your ladyship.
And where dost thou lay the pursy sides? said she. Up two pair of
stairs, madam, next the garden. And where lies the young harlotry?
continued she. Sometimes with me, madam, said she. And sometimes with
thy virtuous master, I suppose? said my lady.—Ha, woman! what sayest
thou? I must not speak, said Mrs. Jewkes. Well, thou mayest go, said
she; but thou hast the air of a secret keeper of that sort I dare say
thoul’t set the good work forward most cordially. Poor Mrs. Jewkes,
said my master, and laughed most heartily.
This talk we had whilst we were undressing. So she and her woman lay
together in the room my master lay in before I was happy.
I said, Dear sir, pray, in the morning let me lock myself up in the
closet, as soon as you rise; and not be called down for ever so much;
for I am afraid to see her ladyship: And I will employ myself about my
journal, while these things are in my head. Don’t be afraid, my dear,
said he: Am not I with you?
Mrs. Jewkes pitied me for what I had undergone in the day; and I said,
We won’t make the worst of it to my dear master, because we won’t
exasperate where we would reconcile: but, added I, I am much obliged to
you, Mrs. Jewkes, and I thank you. Said my master, I hope she did not
beat your lady, Mrs. Jewkes? Not much, sir, said she; but I believe I
saved my lady once: Yet, added she, I was most vexed at the young lord.
Ay, Mrs. Jewkes, said my master, let me know his behaviour. I can
chastise him, though I cannot my sister, who is a woman; let me
therefore know the part he acted.
Nothing, my dear sir, said I, but impertinence, if I may so say, and
foolishness, that was very provoking; but I spared him not; and so
there is no room, sir, for your anger. No, sir, said Mrs. Jewkes,
nothing else indeed.
How was her woman? said my master. Pretty impertinent, replied Mrs.
Jewkes, as ladies’ women will be. But, said I, you know she saved me
once or twice. Very true, madam, returned Mrs. Jewkes. And she said to
me at table, that you were a sweet creature; she never saw your equal;
but that you had a spirit; and she was sorry you answered her lady so,
who never bore so much contradiction before. I told her, added Mrs.
Jewkes, that if I was in your ladyship’s place, I should have taken
much more upon me, and that you were all sweetness. And she said, I was
got over, she saw.
Tuesday morning, the sixth of my happiness.
My master had said to Mrs. Jewkes, that he should not rise till eight
or nine, as he had sat up all the night before: but it seems, my lady,
knowing he usually rose about six, got up soon after that hour; raised
her woman and her nephew; having a whimsical scheme in her head, to try
to find whether we were in bed together: And, about half an hour after
six, she rapped at our chamber door.
My master was waked at the noise, and asked, Who was there? Open the
door, said she; open it this minute! I said, clinging about his neck,
Dear, dear sir, pray, pray don’t!—O save me, save me! Don’t fear,
Pamela, said he. The woman’s mad, I believe.
But he called out; Who are you? What do you want?—You know my voice
well enough, said she:—I will come in.—Pray, sir, said I, don’t let her
ladyship in.—Don’t be frightened, my dear, said he; she thinks we are
not married, and are afraid to be found a-bed together. I’ll let her
in; but she shan’t come near my dearest.
So he slipt out of bed, and putting on some of his clothes, and gown
and slippers, he said, What bold body dare disturb my repose thus? and
opened the door. In rushed she: I’ll see your wickedness, said she, I
will! In vain shall you think to hide it from me.—What should I hide?
said he. How dare you set a foot into my house, after the usage I have
received from you?—I had covered myself over head and ears, and
trembled every joint. He looked, and ’spied her woman and kinsman in
the room, she crying out, Bear witness, Jackey; bear witness, Beck; the
creature is now in his bed! And not seeing the young gentleman before,
who was at the feet of the bed, he said, How now, sir? What’s your
business in this apartment? Begone this moment!—And he went away
directly.
Beck, said my lady, you see the creature is in his bed. I do, madam,
answered she. My master came to me, and said, Ay, look, Beck, and bear
witness: Here is my Pamela!—My dear angel, my lovely creature, don’t be
afraid; look up, and see how frantickly this woman of quality behaves.
At that, I just peeped, and saw my lady, who could not bear this,
coming to me; and she said, Wicked abandoned wretch! Vile brother, to
brave me thus! I’ll tear the creature out of bed before your face, and
expose you both as you deserve.
At that he took her in his arms, as if she had been nothing; and
carrying her out of the room, she cried out, Beck! Beck! help me, Beck!
the wretch is going to fling me down stairs! Her woman ran to him, and
said, Good sir, for Heaven’s sake do no violence to my lady! Her
ladyship has been ill all night.
He sat her down in the chamber she lay in, and she could not speak for
passion. Take care of your lady, said he; and when she has rendered
herself more worthy of my attention, I’ll see her; till then, at her
peril, and yours too, come not near my apartment. And so he came to me,
and, with all the sweet soothing words in the world, pacified my fears,
and gave me leave to go to write in my closet, as soon as my fright was
over, and to stay there till things were more calm. And so he dressed
himself, and went out of the chamber, permitting me, at my desire, to
fasten the door after him.
At breakfast-time my master tapped at the door, and I said, Who’s
there? I, my dearest, said he. Oh! then, replied I, I will open it with
pleasure. I had written on a good deal; but I put it by, when I ran to
the door. I would have locked it again, when he was in; but he said, Am
not I here? Don’t be afraid. Said he, Will you come down to breakfast,
my love? O no, dear sir, said I; be pleased to excuse me! said he, I
cannot bear the look of it, that the mistress of my house should
breakfast in her closet, as if she durst not come down, and I at
home!—O, dearest sir, replied I, pray pass that over, for my sake; and
don’t let my presence aggravate your sister, for a kind punctilio!
Then, my dear, said he, I will breakfast with you here. No, pray, dear
sir, answered I, breakfast with your sister. That, my dear, replied he,
will too much gratify her pride, and look like a slight to you.—Dear
sir, said I, your goodness is too great, for me to want punctilious
proofs of it. Pray oblige her ladyship. She is your guest surely, sir,
you may be freest with your dutiful wife!
She is a strange woman, said he: How I pity her!—She has thrown herself
into a violent fit of the colic, through passion: And is but now, her
woman says, a little easier. I hope, sir, said I, when you carried her
ladyship out, you did not hurt her. No, replied he, I love her too
well. I set her down in the apartment she had chosen: and she but now
desires to see me, and that I will breakfast with her, or refuses to
touch any thing. But, if my dearest please, I will insist it shall be
with you at the same time.
O, no, no, dear sir! said I; I should not forgive myself, if I did. I
would on my knees beg her ladyship’s goodness to me, now I am in your
presence; though I thought I ought to carry it a little stiff when you
were absent, for the sake of the honour you have done me. And, dear
sir, if my deepest humility will please, permit me to shew it.
You shall do nothing, returned he, unworthy of my wife, to please the
proud woman!—But I will, however, permit you to breakfast by yourself
this once, as I have not seen her since I have used her in so barbarous
a manner, as I understand she exclaims I have; and as she will not eat
any thing, unless I give her my company.—So he saluted me, and
withdrew; and I locked the door after him again for fear.
Mrs. Jewkes soon after rapped at the door. Who’s there? said I. Only I,
madam. So I opened the door. ’Tis a sad thing, madam, said she, you
should be so much afraid in your own house. She brought me some
chocolate and toast; and I asked her about my lady’s behaviour. She
said, she would not suffer any body to attend but her woman, because
she would not be heard what she had to say; but she believed, she said,
her master was very angry with the young lord, as she called her
kinsman; for, as she passed by the door, she heard him say, in a high
tone, I hope, sir, you did not forget what belongs to the character you
assume; or to that effect.
About one o’clock my master came up again, and he said, Will you come
down to dinner, Pamela, when I send for you? Whatever you command, sir,
I must do. But my lady won’t desire to see me. No matter whether she
will or no. But I will not suffer, that she shall prescribe her
insolent will to my wife, and in your own house too.—I will, by my
tenderness to you, mortify her pride; and it cannot be done so well as
to her face.
Dearest sir, said I, pray indulge me, and let me dine here by myself.
It will make my lady but more inveterate.—Said he, I have told her we
are married. She is out of all patience about it, and yet pretends not
to believe it. Upon that I tell her, Then she shall have it her own
way, and that I am not. And what has she to do with it either way? She
has scolded and begged, commanded and prayed, blessed me, and cursed
me, by turns, twenty times in these few hours. And I have sometimes
soothed her, sometimes raged; and at last left her, and took a turn in
the garden for an hour to compose myself, because you should not see
how the foolish woman has ruffled me; and just now I came out, seeing
her coming in.