“But I only fell off just a bare point, and I went right back on my
course again the minute the race was over.”
“No matter—that divergence has made all this trouble. It has brought you
to a gate that is billions of leagues from the right one. If you had
gone to your own gate they would have known all about your world at once
and there would have been no delay. But we will try to accommodate you.”
He turned to an under clerk and says—
“What system is Jupiter in?”
“I don’t remember, sir, but I think there is such a planet in one of the
little new systems away out in one of the thinly worlded corners of the
universe. I will see.”
He got a balloon and sailed up and up and up, in front of a map that was
as big as Rhode Island. He went on up till he was out of sight, and by
and by he came down and got something to eat and went up again. To cut a
long story short, he kept on doing this for a day or two, and finally he
came down and said he thought he had found that solar system, but it
might be fly-specks. So he got a microscope and went back. It turned
out better than he feared. He had rousted out our system, sure enough.
He got me to describe our planet and its distance from the sun, and then
he says to his chief—
“Oh, I know the one he means, now, sir. It is on the map. It is called
the Wart.”
Says I to myself, “Young man, it wouldn’t be wholesome for you to go down
_there_ and call it the Wart.”
Well, they let me in, then, and told me I was safe forever and wouldn’t
have any more trouble.
Then they turned from me and went on with their work, the same as if they
considered my case all complete and shipshape. I was a good deal
surprised at this, but I was diffident about speaking up and reminding
them. I did so hate to do it, you know; it seemed a pity to bother them,
they had so much on their hands. Twice I thought I would give up and let
the thing go; so twice I started to leave, but immediately I thought what
a figure I should cut stepping out amongst the redeemed in such a rig,
and that made me hang back and come to anchor again. People got to eying
me—clerks, you know—wondering why I didn’t get under way. I couldn’t
stand this long—it was too uncomfortable. So at last I plucked up
courage and tipped the head clerk a signal. He says—
“What! you here yet? What’s wanting?”
Says I, in a low voice and very confidential, making a trumpet with my
hands at his ear—
“I beg pardon, and you mustn’t mind my reminding you, and seeming to
meddle, but hain’t you forgot something?”