You must know, when I was in the 18th light dragoons, I was quartered
in Canterbury; and having got some introductory letters, I contrived
to make out a pleasant time enough. One of my visiting-houses was
old Tronson's the banker's--devilish agreeable family--four pretty
girls--all flirted--painted on velvet--played the harp--sang Italian,
and danced as if they had been brought up under D'Egville in the _corps
de ballet._ The old boy kept a man-cook, and gave iced champagne. Now,
you know, there is no standing this; and Harriette, the second of the
beauties, and I, agreed to fall in love, which in due course of time we
effected. Nothing could be better managed than the whole affair; we each
selected a confidant, sat for our pictures, interchanged them with a
passionate note, and made a regular engagement for ever.
Such was the state of things, when the route came, and my troop was ordered
to embark for Portugal. Heavens! what a commotion! Harriette was in
hysterics: we talked of an elopement, and discussed the propriety of going
to Gretna; but the hurry to embark prevented us. I could not, you know,
take her with me. Woman in a transport! a devilish bore; and nothing was
left for it but to exchange vows of eternal fidelity. We did so, and
parted--both persuaded that our hearts were reciprocally broken.
Ah!--if you knew what I suffered night and day! her picture rested in my
bosom; and I consumed a pipe of wine in toasting her health, while I was
dying of damp and rheumatism. But the recollection of my _constant
Harriette_ supported me through all; and particularly so, when I was
cheered by the report of my snub-nosed surgeon, who joined us six months
after at Santarem, and assured me on the faith of a physician, that the
dear girl was in the last stage of a consumption.
Two years passed away, and we were ordered home. O heavens! what were my
feelings when I landed at Portsmouth! I threw myself into a carriage, and
started with four horses for Canterbury: I arrived there with a safe neck,
and lost not a moment in announcing my return to my constant Harriette.
The delay of the messenger seemed an eternity: but what were my feelings,
when he brought me a perfumed note (to do her justice, she always wrote on
lovely letter-paper), and a parcel. The one contained congratulations of my
safe arrival, accompanied by assurances of unfeigned regret that I had not
reached Canterbury a day sooner, and thus allowed her an opportunity of
having her "dear friend Captain Melcomb" present at her wedding; while the
packet was a large assortment of French kid skins and white ribbon.
That blessed morning she had bestowed her fair hand on a fat professor of
theology from Brazen Nose, who had been just presented to a rich prebend by
the bishop, for having proved beyond a controversy, the divine origin of
tithes, in a blue-bound pamphlet. Before I had time to recover from my
astonishment, a travelling carriage brought me to the window; and quickly
as it passed, I had full time to see _ma belle Harriette_ seated
beside the thick-winded dignitary. She bowed her white Spanish hat and six
ostrich feathers to me as she rolled off, to spend, as the papers informed
me, "the honey-moon at the lakes of Cumberland.' There was a blessed return
for two years' exposure to the attacks of rheumatism and French
cavalry.--_Stories of Waterloo._
* * * * *
When the celebrated Philip Henry was ejected from the establishment,
Dr. Busby (who had been his tutor) meeting him, said, "Who made you a
nonconformist?" "You, Sir," replied he, "I made you a nonconformist!"
"Yes, Sir, you taught me those principles which forbade to violate my
conscience."