of failure as when day-by-day happenings grow stale and repellent. The
difference is that when love goes, the fortress has been taken and all
life flattens out.
The exclusiveness of monogamic fellowship, the out-coming of the deep
hunger for a unique experience in affection, can be greatly
misinterpreted by failing to see that it is human nature's effort to
keep to the golden mean as one is driven by tremendous impulses toward
the supreme man-woman comradeship. In all such relationships there is on
one side the extreme which shows itself when one member of the intimacy
crushes and destroys the personality of the other. This eventually
spoils the union by making it a conquest of one by the other. The
opposite disaster appears when there is no fusion at all but merely an
alliance of two independent, self-centered persons who come together in
the spirit of temporary self-interest and refuse to develop a common
life. Even when they maintain the letter of the monogamic code, they
lose its spirit.
In contrast with these unfortunates, victims of will-to-power and
self-centered passion, those in monogamic fellowship enlarge the life
they share. One often notices, as did Hudson, the naturalist, in his
description of the English shepherd's home, that husband and wife reach
such understanding that they share feeling without recourse to words;
and gather so much in common that as they travel through the years they
do, indeed, seem to grow even to look like each other. They winter and
summer together, and when time sends the children to their own
adventures, we hear these life-tested lovers, hand in hand, saying:
"Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
The last of life, for which the first was made."
Index
Acquiescence, 102, 109
Adjustments, marital, 9-11, 16, 104-110
Adolescence, 119, 158
Adopted children, 94-96
Advancement, wife's contribution to business, 142-153
Affection, security of, 159
Allowance, wife's, 16, 49
Ambition, 6, 164
American Eugenic Society, 90-91
Antagonism, emotional, 104-105
Apartment houses, 20-21
Appearance, preserving attractive, 78-79
Appliance replacements, 70-71
Art museums, visits to, 25, 119
Assessments, property, 72
Automobile:
depreciation of, 70
expenses, 69-70
Baby:
bonds, 84
budget, 88
time for first, 82-84
Bacon, Lord, 90
Banks, savings, 67
Banning, Margaret Culkin, 25
Baseball, 17
Biologies, 118
Biologists, heredity studies of, 32
Birth:
control methods, 23
questions of, 114-116, 118
rate, 41
season of, 33
weather and, 33-34
Birthdays, eminent people's, 33-34
Blood tests, 22
Blunders, marriage, 1-2, 5, 8, 20-21, 48, 97-110
Boredom, 161, 165
Borrowing, budget and, 19, 71, 84
Brides-to-be, advice to, 17
Bridge, advice on, 17
_British Dictionary of National Biography_, 34
Browning, Robert, 127, 138-139
Budget:
baby, 88
borrowing and, 71
family, 67-79
Business:
failures, 141-142
wife's aid in, 141-153
Bussing, Elizabeth, 66-79
Buying (_see_ Purchasing)
Careers, wives', 43-53
Carlyle, 133
Cells, sperm, 35, 117
Challenge, marriage, 1
Character:
courtship candidate's, 6
development, 128-129, 164
Chastity, benefits of, 25
Checking account, wife's, 16
Cheerfulness, wife's, 147
Child marriages, 118
Children:
adopted, 94-96
clothes of, 78
cost of, 46, 69, 82-84, 89-90
cultural value of, 42
economic readiness for, 40-42, 82-84, 90
emotional stability of, 113
environment of, 95
feeding, 82
health of, 28, 78, 82-83
heritage rights of, 28
illegitimate, 94
insurance for, 71-72
lack of, 29-30, 93-94
marital conflict and, 161-162
medical care of, 28, 78, 82-83
monogamy and, 162
number of, 40-42, 82-83, 90
nursing, 83
parents' responsibility to, 161-162
planning for, 16, 28-29, 31, 40-42, 46, 69, 80-96, 107
pleasures of, 82
postponing, 46
preparing for, 16
saving for, 40-42, 82-84, 90
sex activities of, 121-125
sex instruction of, 111-125
sliding-wage scale for, 91
spoiled, 159
toys of, 78
Christian faith, 137
Church attendance, 134-135
City apartment houses, 20-21
Clothing:
allowances, 69-70, 73, 78, 97, 146-147
child's, 78
depreciation of, 70
party, 4
wife's, 146-147
College students:
marriage courses, 12, 25
premarital examination of, 10-12
Compromises, 57-59
Concentrated intimacy, 60-61
Concerts, 17
Conflict, avoiding marital, 97-110
Constitutional vigor, 33-34
Contempt, 104
Conversation:
benefits of good, 18
wife's, 146-147
Cooperation, 103-104
Courage, 7, 103
Courts, avoiding divorce, 97-110
Courtship, 1-12
Courtship candidate:
character of, 5-6
courage of, 7
mental growth of, 6
wearing qualities of, 5-6
Cowardice, 102-103
Criticism, 16
Culture, aids to, 142
Date, wedding, 16
Day-to-day expenses, 70
Death statistics, 32
Debt, dangers of, 19, 71, 84
Defective teeth, 30
de Maupassant, Guy, 131
Dental bills, 77
Dependence, mutual, 48
Dependents:
marriage and, 19
provision for, 70
Depreciation allowances, 70-71
Diabetes, 30
Dickinson, Stanley G., 140-153
Diet, 34
Dinner-table conversation, 147
Dionne quintuplets, 118
Disappointments, marriage, 1-2, 5, 8, 20-21, 48, 97-110
Disease statistics, 32
Divorce:
averting, 97-110
grounds for, 29
rates, 14, 20-21
Doctor:
bills, 77-78
certificate of fitness by, 22
counseling service of, 10, 25-26, 30, 36-37, 92-93
Dress (_see_ Clothing)
Drummond, Henry, 137
Duncan, Matthews, 93
Durable goods budget, 70-71
Duty, marriage, 27-42
Earning power:
husband's, 66-69, 141
wife's, 73-74
Economy, domestic, 66-79, 97
Education:
health, 35
religious, 126-139
sex, 9-10, 12, 111-125, 128
Elementary school children, sex instruction of, 114
Emotional:
antagonism, 104-105
instability, 31-32, 36, 142, 144, 159-160
reactions, 4-5
restraint, 8
stability, 13, 34, 61-62
Emotions:
checking runaway, 159-160
child's, 113
Employment, wife's outside, 21, 73-74
Engagement:
intimacy of, 16
length of, 18
period, 13-26
Engineering school, marriage and, 19
England, birthdays in, 33
Entertainment expense, 76-77, 147
Environment:
child's, 95
defects, 32-36
home, 140-141
postnatal, 35-36
pre-natal, 35-36
Eugenics, progress of, 36
Everyday life, party manners _versus_, 4
Examinations, medical, 10-12, 22, 28-29, 36, 94
Exercise, benefits of, 17-18, 76-77
Expense, marriage, 66-79, 88
Extravagance, 75, 78
Eyesight, poor, 30
Failures, marriage, 1-2, 5, 8, 20-21, 97-110
Faith:
Christian, 137
religious, 126-139
Family:
budget, 16, 18, 67-79, 140-141
doctor, 10, 25-26, 30, 36-37, 92-93
income, 16, 49
insurance, 71-72
jokes, 107
joys, 106-107
planning, 28-29, 31, 80-96
size of, 40-42, 82-83, 90
support of, 66-79, 108
welfare, 109-110
Father fixation, 6-7
Fatigue statistics, 32
Fault-finding, avoidance of, 16
Faust, 133
Feeblemindedness, 31
Fertilization, 114, 117-118
Financial:
independence, 48-49
planning, 16, 18, 45, 66-79
Fingers, misshaped, 30
Fire insurance, 72
Fishing, 17
Fitness:
for marriage, 22, 27-42
physical, 28-31
Food:
budget, 68-70, 73, 82
child's 82
France, birthdays in, 33
Frankness, 108
Friends, value of, 20-21, 60
Fuel, cost of, 69
Furniture replacements, 70-71
Gallagher, E. G., 94
Germany, birthdays in, 33
Gifted women, 52-53
Golf, 17
Good Housekeeping:
Health and Happiness Club, 84
marriage-relations course, 140
Gospels, reading of, 134-135
Grooms-to-be, advice to, 17-18
Groves, Dr. Ernest R., 1-12, 154-166
Groves, Gladys Hoagland, 54-65, 154-166
Grudges, surrender of, 104
Guidance:
marriage, 3, 9-10, 12, 25-26, 30, 36-37, 56-65, 92-93
Hardy, Thomas 137
Harelip, 30
Harmony, home and business, 142-153
Harper, President, 129
Hart, Dr. Hornell, 97-110
Health:
and Happiness Club, 84
child, 28
education, 35
ideal temperatures for, 33
weather influences on, 32-34
Heart ailments, 30
Heat, cost of, 69
Hereditary defects, 30-36
Heredity studies, 32
High school children, sex instruction of, 114-115, 118
Hobbies, 17
Home:
acquiring equipment for, 16
childless, 29-30
children spoiled at, 159
cultural value of, 42
environment, 140-141, 143
happiness in, 28, 107
harmony of business and, 142-153
moral code of, 124-125
location of, 20-21
ownership, 71-73
planning, 21
purchase price of, 73
religion in, 126-139
renting, 67-70, 72-74
sex instruction in, 111-125
stability of, 162
Honeymoon arrangements, 20
Hospital:
bills, 74, 77-78, 83
plan, 77
Household management, 44
Hudson, on shepherd's home, 166
Human:
genetics, 36
reproduction, 114-120
Huntington, Dr. Ellsworth, 22, 27-42, 89
Husband:
dependence of wife and, 48
selection of, 3-5
understanding, 107
Idiots, 31
Illegitimate children, 94
Imbeciles, 31
Income:
husband's, 66-69, 141
wife's outside, 73-74
Incubator babies, 118
Indebtedness, marriage and, 19, 71, 84
India, birthdays in, 33
Infatuations, 159-160
Inheritance, child's, 28
Inge, Dean, 135
Instruction:
religious, 126-139
sex, 9-10, 12, 111-125, 128
Insurance:
benefits to children, 71-72
choice of, 18-19
fire, 72
life, 67, 71-73
renewable term, 71-72
straight life, 71
Intemperance, 24, 158
Interests, development of, 146
Intimacy, undue concentration of, 60-61
Irritants, elimination of, 105-106
Jealousy, 16, 104
Jokes, family, 107
Joys, family, 106-107
Junior-high-school children, sex instruction of, 118
Kenyon, Dr. Josephine Hemenway, 84
Laboratory experiments, controlled, 32-33
Law school, marriage and, 19
Lease, ownership _versus_, 67-70, 72-74
Leisure, 142
License, marriage, 22
Life:
adjustments, 63
changed ways of, 7-8
everyday, 4
intimacy of married, 54-65
joys of married, 127, 140-153
mode of, 34
refinements of, 142
successful married, 13-15, 22, 54-65, 102-110, 140-153, 163-164
Life insurance:
company budget forms, 67
provision for, 71
savings aspect of, 72-73
straight, 71
Literature, sex, 9-10, 12
Longevity:
vigor and, 33-34
weather and, 33-34
Love:
aids to, 163
earlier, 15
falling in, 13
quarrels, 16, 157
_Luxury_ clothes, 73
Manners, party, 4
Marriage:
adjustments, 9-11, 16, 104-110
benefits of, 140-153
blunders, 1-2, 5, 8, 20-21, 48, 97-110
challenge, 1
child, 118
clinics, 25
college courses on, 25
conferences on, 25
dependents and, 19
during post-graduate training, 19
during professional training, 19, 68-69
duties, 27-42
engineering school and, 19
expenses, 66-79
failures, 1-2, 5, 8, 20-21, 48, 97-110
fitness for, 22, 27-42
guidance, 3, 9-10, 12, 25-26, 30, 36-37, 56-65, 92-93
happiness, 127, 140-153
hasty, 18
in poverty, 46-47
law school and, 19
license, 22
moral conduct after, 16
of under-graduates, 19
outside occupations after, 43-53
overestimating, 8, 157
personality adjustments after, 9-11, 16, 104-110
postponement, 19-20, 23
preparatory courses, 12, 14, 17, 25, 140
program of action, 108-109
progress, 63-65
relations course, 140
right, 27-42
rules for successful, 13-15, 22, 54-65, 102-110, 140-153, 163-164
secret, 20, 23
sex experience before, 23-26
sliding-wage scale for, 91
spiritual side of, 24
statistical studies, 14-15
testing period, 157
training, 12, 14, 17, 25, 140
unfitness for, 30-36
union, 56-57
vacations from, 17
while indebted, 19
wisdom of, 27-42
Marshall, Dr. Jessie, 80-96
Mate (_see_ Wife)
Mating, 114, 117-118
McConaughy, Dr. James L., 13-26
Meaker, Dr. Samuel R., 94
Meals, child's, 82
Mechanical appliances, cost of, 70-71
Medical:
advice, 10, 25-26, 30, 36-37, 92-93
care of child, 78, 82-83
examinations, 10-12, 22, 28-29, 36, 94
expense, 77-78
profession (_see_ Doctors)
Menstruation, 119
Mental:
deficiency, 31-32
inherited ability, 34
growth, 6, 78-79, 142
Meredith, George, 129-130
Mills, Professor C. A., 35
Misshaped fingers, 30
Mismating, 15
Mistakes, marriage, 1-2, 5, 8, 20-21, 48, 97-110
Monogamy:
benefits of, 154-166
children and, 162
Monotony, averting, 161, 165
Moral conduct, 16
More, Paul Elmer, 136
Morons, 31
Mother fixation, 6-7, 99-101
Museums, visits to, 25
Music appreciation, 17
Natural history, 118-119
Nagging, avoidance of, 16
Novak, Dr. Emil, 92
Nursing expense, 78, 83
Occupation:
choice of, 27
wives' outside, 43-53
Organic diseases, 92
Outdoor sports, 76-77
Overton, death of, 134
Parenthood:
age for, 82-84
responsibilities of, 2, 161-162
Parents:
domination by, 14, 20-21, 99-101
living with, 21
Party:
dress, 4
expenses, 76-77, 97
manners, 4
Personal:
budget, 67-79
growth, 142
Personality adjustments, 16, 55-56
Pets, value of, 118
Phelps, William Lyon, 126-139
Physical examination (_see_ Medical examination)
Physical exercise, 76-77
Physical fitness:
doctor's certificate of, 22
preserving, 28-34, 78-79
Physical vigor, 33-34
Physician (_see_ Doctor)
Picnicking, 76
Plato, 164
Play, benefits of, 76-77
Pluck, courtship candidate's, 7
Pocket money, wife's, 16, 49
Poise, development of, 146
Post-graduate training, marriage during, 19
Postnatal environment, 35-36
Postponement, marriage, 19-20, 23
Poverty, marriage in, 46-47
Prayer, 134
Pregnancy, 92, 114-115, 118
Premarital:
courses of study, 12
relations, 23-24
Premiums, insurance, 71-72
Pre-natal environment, 35-36
Pre-school children, sex instruction of, 114
Pretense, avoidance of, 74
Profession, choice of, 27
Professional training, marriage during, 19, 68-69
Program of action, joint, 108-109
Property:
assessments, 72
taxes, 73
upkeep, 73, 76
Psychiatrists, advice of, 6
Psychic trauma, 124
Purchasing economies, 75-76
Quintuplets, occurrence of, 88
Radio appreciation, 17
Rates, insurance, 71-72
Recreation expense, 73, 76-77
Refrigeration costs, 70
Religion in home, 126-139
Reno, avoiding, 1-2, 5, 8, 20-21, 97-110
Rents, 67-70, 72-74
Reproduction:
human, 114-120
seasonal cycle of, 33-34
Resentment, 104
Residence, location of, 20-21
Respect, mutual, 59-60
Responsibilities, wife's, 142-153
Right, marriage, 27-42
Romance:
aids to, 8, 16-17
careless seeking of, 101
Roosevelt, Eleanor, 43-53
Russia, birthdays in, 33
Savings accounts, 72-73, 97
Savings banks, budget forms of, 67
Scientific method, 14-15
Scolding, avoidance of, 16
Season of birth, 33
Secret marriages, 20, 23
Selection, wise mate, 3-5
Self-acquaintance, 4-5
Self-centered engrossment, 60-61
Self-consciousness, 31
Self-control, 31
Self-discipline, 8
Self-expansion, 163
Selfishness, 32, 57-59, 103
Seminal emissions, 119
Sex:
adjustments, 9-11, 63
education, 9-10, 12, 111-125, 128
experience before marriage, 23-26
frustration, 98-99, 101
literature, 9-10, 12
mannerisms, 55-56
meeting opposite, 3-4
misdemeanors, 121-125
technique, 9-11
temperaments, 55-56
Shakespeare, 135
Shelter, cost of, 67-70
Short-sightedness, 30
Social affairs:
expense of, 76-77
planning, 147
Social group:
keeping up with, 74
vigor of, 158
Social training, 132
Sousa, John Philip, 136
Spain, birthdays in, 33
Spending, orderly, 66-79
Sperm cells, 35, 117
Spiritual development, 126-139
Spoiled child, 159
Sports:
encouragement of, 17-18
outdoor, 76-77
Statistical studies, marriage, 14-15
Sterility, 29-30, 93-94
Straight life insurance, 71
Strain, Frances Bruce, 111-125
Sunday:
observance of, 134
recreation, 134
School, 133
Success, marriage, 13-15, 22, 54-65, 102-110, 140-153, 163-164
Support, family, 66-79
Sweden, birthdays in, 33
Syphilis, 28
Tact, 16
Tastes, 55-56
Taxes, property, 73
Teeth:
care of, 77
defective, 30
Temper, loss of, 31
Temperament, 55-56
Temperatures, health, 33
Tennyson, 127, 138
Term insurance, renewable, 71-72
Theatre expenses, 76, 147
Toys, child's, 78
Training (see Education)
Traveling expense, 68-69, 76
Trust, mutual, 63-64
Turgenev, 127
Twins, recurrence of, 88
Undergraduates, marriage of, 19
Union, building marriage, 56-57
United States, birthdays in, 33
Upkeep, property, 73, 76
Uterus, 115
Vacation allowances, 76
Venereal disease, 25, 28
Vigor:
longevity and, 33-34
society's, 158
Wages:
husband's, 66-69, 141
sliding scale of, 91
wife's, 73-74
Wearing character, courtship candidate's, 5-6
Weather:
child conception and, 33-34
longevity and, 33-34
Wedding date, fixing, 16, 20
Welfare, family, 109
Wife:
aid to business progress, 141-153
allowances, 16, 49
attitude of, 4
characteristics of, 4, 6
checking account of, 16
cheerfulness of, 147
childless, 72
conversational ability of, 146-147
dependence of husband and, 48
emotional reactions of, 4-5
entertaining ability of, 147
gifted, 52-53
home allowances of, 16, 49
house, 44
income control by, 16
insurance for, 72
mental growth of, 6, 78-79, 142
outside employment of, 21, 43-53, 73-74
selection of, 3-5
support of, 66-79
understanding, 107-108
Women (_see_ Wife)
Work:
ideal conditions of, 32
wife's outside, 21, 43-53, 73-74
Zoological gardens, 119
End of Project Gutenberg's The Good Housekeeping Marriage Book, by Various