TOM TRINGLE GETS AN ANSWER.
Faddle as he went down into the country made up his mind that the law
which required such letters to be delivered by hand was an absurd
law. The post would have done just as well, and would have saved a
great deal of trouble. These gloomy thoughts were occasioned by a
conviction that he could not carry himself easily or make himself
happy among such "howling swells" as these Alburys. If they should
invite him to the house the matter would be worse that way than the
other. He had no confidence in his dress coat, which he was aware
had been damaged by nocturnal orgies. It is all very well to tell a
fellow to be as "big a swell" as anybody else, as Tom had told him.
But Faddle acknowledged to himself the difficulty of acting up to
such advice. Even the eyes of Colonel Stubbs turned upon him after
receipt of the letter would oppress him.
Nevertheless he must do his best, and he took a gig at the station
nearest to Albury. He was careful to carry his bag with him, but
still he lived in hope that he would be able to return to London the
same day. When he found himself within the lodges of Stalham Park
he could hardly keep himself from shivering, and, when he asked the
footman at the door whether Colonel Stubbs were there, he longed to
be told that Colonel Stubbs had gone away on the previous day to
some--he did not care what--distant part of the globe. But Colonel
Stubbs had not gone away. Colonel Stubbs was in the house.
Our friend the Colonel had not suffered as Tom had suffered since his
rejection;--but nevertheless he had been much concerned. He had set
his heart upon Ayala before he had asked her, and could not bring
himself to change his heart because she had refused him. He had
gone down to Aldershot and had performed his duties, abstaining for
the present from repeating his offer. The offer of course must be
repeated, but as to the when, the where, and the how, he had not as
yet made up his mind. Then Tom Tringle had come to him at Aldershot
communicating to him the fact that he had a rival;--and also the
other fact that the other rival like himself had hitherto been
unsuccessful. It seemed improbable to him that such a girl as
Ayala should attach herself to such a man as her cousin Tom. But
nevertheless he was uneasy. He regarded Tom Tringle as a miracle of
wealth, and felt certain that the united efforts of the whole family
would be used to arrange the match. Ayala had refused him also, and
therefore, up to the present moment, the chances of the other man
were no better than his own. When Tom left him at Aldershot he hardly
remembered that Tom knew nothing of his secret, whereas Tom had
communicated to him his own. It never for a moment occurred to him
that Tom would quarrel with him; although he had seen that the poor
fellow had been disgusted because he had refused to write the letter.
On Christmas Eve he had gone down to Stalham, and there he had
remained discussing the matter of his love with Lady Albury. To no
one else in the house had the affair been mentioned, and by Sir Harry
he was supposed to remain there only for the sake of the hunting.
With Sir Harry he was of all guests the most popular, and thus it
came to pass that his prolonged presence at Stalham was not matter
of special remark. Much of his time he did devote to hunting, but
there were half hours devoted in company with Lady Albury to Ayala's
perfection and Ayala's obstinacy.
Lady Albury was almost inclined to think that Ayala should be given
up. Married ladies seldom estimate even the girls they like best at
their full value. It seems to such a one as Lady Albury almost a
pity that such a one as Colonel Stubbs should waste his energy upon
anything so insignificant as Ayala Dormer. The speciality of the
attraction is of course absent to the woman, and unless she has
considered the matter so far as to be able to clothe her thoughts in
male vestments, as some women do, she cannot understand the longing
that is felt for so small a treasure. Lady Albury thought that young
ladies were very well, and that Ayala was very well among young
ladies; but Ayala in getting Colonel Stubbs for a husband would, as
Lady Albury thought, have received so much more than her desert that
she was now almost inclined to be angry with the Colonel. "My dear
friend," he said to her one day, "you might as well take it for
granted. I shall go after my princess with all the energy which a
princess merits."
"The question is whether she be a princess," said Lady Albury.
"Allow me to say that that is a point on which I cannot admit a
doubt. She is a princess to me, and just at present I must be
regarded as the only judge in the matter."
"She shall be a goddess, if you please," said Lady Albury.
"Goddess, princess, pink, or pearl;--any name you please supposed to
convey perfection shall be the same to me. It may be that she is in
truth no better, or more lovely, or divine, than many another young
lady who is at the present moment exercising the heart of many
another gentleman. You know enough of the world to be aware that
every Jack has his Gill. She is my Gill, and that's an end of it."
"I hope then that she may be your Gill."
"And, in order that she may, you must have her here again. I should
absolutely not know how to go to work were I to find myself in the
presence of Aunt Dosett in Kingsbury Crescent." In answer to this
Lady Albury assured him that she would be quite willing to have the
girl again at Stalham if it could be managed. She was reminding him,
however, how difficult it had been on a previous occasion to overcome
the scruples of Mrs. Dosett, when a servant brought in word to
Colonel Stubbs that there was a man in the hall desirous of seeing
him immediately on particular business. Then the servant presented
our friend Faddle's card.
MR. SAMUEL FADDLE,
1, Badminton Gardens.
"Yes, Sir;" said the servant. "He says he has a letter which he must
put into your own particular hands."
"That looks like a bailiff," said Lady Albury, laughing. Colonel
Stubbs, declaring that he had no special reason to be afraid of any
bailiff, left the room and went down into the hall.
At Stalham the real hall of the house was used as a billiard-room,
and here, leaning against the billiard table, the Colonel found
poor Faddle. When a man is compelled by some chance circumstance to
address another man whom he does not know, and whom by inspection he
feels he shall never wish to know, he always hardens his face, and
sometimes also his voice. So it was with the Colonel when he looked
at Faddle. A word he did say, not in words absolutely uncivil, as to
the nature of the business in hand. Then Faddle, showing his emotion
by a quaver in his voice, suggested that as the matter was one of
extreme delicacy some more private apartment might be provided. Upon
this Stubbs led the way into a little room which was for the most
part filled with hunting-gear, and offered the stranger one of the
three chairs which it contained. Faddle sat down, finding himself
so compelled, though the Colonel still remained standing, and then
extracted the fatal epistle from his pocket. "Colonel Stubbs," said
he, handing up the missive, "I am directed by my friend, Mr. Thomas
Tringle, junior, to put this letter into your own hand. When you have
read it I shall be ready to consult with you as to its contents."
These few words he had learnt by heart on his journey down, having
practised them continually.
The Colonel took the letter, and turning to the window read it with
his back to the visitor. He read it twice from beginning to end in
order that he might have time to resolve whether he would laugh aloud
at both Faddle and Tringle, or whether it might not be better to
endeavour to soften the anger of poor Tom by a message which should
be at any rate kindly worded. "This is from my friend, Tom Tringle,"
he said.
"From Mr. Thomas Tringle, junior," said Faddle, proudly.
"So I perceive. I am sorry to think that he should be in so much
trouble. He is one of the best fellows I know, and I am really
grieved that he should be unhappy. This, you know, is all nonsense."
"It is not nonsense at all, Colonel Stubbs."
"You must allow me to be the judge of that, Mr. Faddle. It is at
any rate nonsense to me. He wants me to go somewhere and fight a
duel,--which I should not do with any man under any circumstances.
Here there is no possible ground for any quarrel whatsoever,--as
I will endeavour to explain, myself, to my friend, Mr. Tringle. I
shall be sure to write to him at once,--and so I will bid you good
afternoon."
But this did not at all suit poor Faddle after so long a journey.
"I thought it probable that you would write, Colonel Stubbs, and
therefore I am prepared to wait. If I cannot be accommodated here I
will wait,--will wait elsewhere."
"That will not be at all necessary. We have a post to London twice a
day."
"You must be aware, Colonel Stubbs, that letters of this sort should
not be sent by post."
"The kind of letter I shall write may be sent by post very well. It
will not be bellicose, and therefore there can be no objection."
"I really think, Colonel Stubbs, that you are making very little of a
very serious matter."
"Mr. Faddle, I really must manage my own affairs after my own way.
Would you like a glass of sherry? If not, I need hardly ask you to
stay here any longer." Upon that he went out into the billiard-room
and rang the bell. Poor Faddle would have liked the glass of sherry,
but he felt that it would be incompatible with the angry dignity
which he assumed, and he left the house without another word or even
a gesture of courtesy. Then he returned to London, having taken his
bag and dress coat all the way to Stalham for nothing.
Tom's letter was almost too good to be lost, but there was no one to
whom the joke could be made known except Lady Albury. She, he was
sure, would keep poor Tom's secret as well as his own, and to her he
showed the letter. "I pity him from the bottom of my heart," he said.
Lady Albury declared that the writer of such a letter was too absurd
for pity. "Not at all. Unless he really loved her he wouldn't have
been so enraged. I suppose he does think that I injured him. He did
tell me his story, and I didn't tell him mine. I can understand it
all, though I didn't imagine he was such a fool as to invite me
to travel all round the world because of the harsh laws of Great
Britain. Nevertheless, I shall write to him quite an affectionate
letter, remembering that, should I succeed myself, he will be my
first cousin by marriage."
Before he went to bed that night he wrote his letter, and the reader
may as well see the whole correspondence;--
MY DEAR TRINGLE,
If you will think of it all round you will see that you
have got no cause of quarrel with me any more than I have
with you. If it be the case that we are both attached to
your cousin, we must abide her decision whether it be in
favour of either of us, or, as may be too probably the
case, equally adverse to both of us. If I understand your
letter rightly, you think that I behaved unfairly when I
did not tell you of my own affairs upon hearing yours from
your own lips. Why should I? Why should I have been held
to be constrained to tell my secret because you, for
your own sake, had told me yours? Had I been engaged to
your cousin,--which I regret to say is very far from the
case,--I should have told you, naturally. I should have
regarded the matter as settled, and should have acquainted
you with a fact which would have concerned you. But as
such was not a fact, I was by no means bound to tell you
how my affairs stood. This ought to be clear to you, and I
hope will be when you have read what I say.
I may as well go on to declare that under no circumstances
should I fight a duel with you. If I thought I had done
wrong in the matter I would beg your pardon. I can't
do that as it is,--though I am most anxious to appease
you,--because I have done you no wrong.
Pray forget your animosity,--which is in truth
unfounded,--and let us be friends as we were before.
Yours very sincerely,
JONATHAN STUBBS.
Faddle reached London the evening before the Colonel's letter, and
again dined with his friend at Bolivia's. At first they were both
extremely angry, acerbating each other's wrath. Now that he was safe
back in London Faddle thought that he would have enjoyed an evening
among the "swells" of Stalham, and felt himself to be injured by the
inhospitable treatment he had received--"after going all the way down
there, hardly to be asked to sit down!"
"Not asked to sit down!"
"Well, yes, I was;--on a miserable cane-bottomed chair in a sort of
cupboard. And he didn't sit down. You may call them swells, but I
think your Colonel Stubbs is a very vulgar sort of fellow. When I
told him the post isn't the proper thing for such a letter, he only
laughed. I suppose he doesn't know what is the kind of thing among
gentlemen."
"I should think he does know," said Tom.
"Then why doesn't he act accordingly? Would you believe it; he never
so much as asked me whether I had a mouth on. It was just luncheon
time, too."
"I suppose they lunch late."
"They might have asked me. I shouldn't have taken it. He did say
something about a glass of sherry, but it was in that sort of tone
which tells a fellow that he is expected not to take it. And then
he pretended to laugh. I could see that he was shaking in his shoes
at the idea of having to fight. He go to the torrid zone! He would
much rather go to a police office if he thought that there was any
fighting on hand. I should dust his jacket with a stick if I were
you."
Later on in the evening Tom declared that this was what he would
do, but, before he came to that, a third bottle of Signor Bolivia's
champagne had been made to appear. The evening passed between them
not without much enjoyment. On the opening of that third cork the
wine was declared to be less excellent than what had gone before, and
Signor Bolivia was evoked in person. A gentleman named Walker, who
looked after the establishment, made his appearance, and with many
smiles, having been induced to swallow a bumper of the compound
himself, declared, with a knowing shake of the head and an astute
twinkle of the eye, that the wine was not equal to the last. He took
a great deal of trouble, he assured them, to import an article which
could not be surpassed, if it could be equalled, in London, always
visiting Epernay himself once a-year for the purpose of going through
the wine-vaults. Let him do what he would an inferior bottle,--or,
rather, a bottle somewhat inferior,--would sometimes make its way
into his cellar. Would Mr. Tringle let him have the honour of drawing
another cork, so that the exact amount of difference might be
ascertained? Tom gave his sanction; the fourth cork was drawn; and
Mr. Walker, sitting down and consuming the wine with his customers,
was enabled to point out to a hair's breadth the nature and the
extent of the variation. Tringle still thought that the difference
was considerable. Faddle was, on the whole, inclined to agree with
Signor Bolivia. It need hardly be said that the four bottles were
paid for,--or rather scored against Tringle, who at the present time
had a little account at the establishment.
"Show a fellar fellar's letters morrer." Such or something like it
was Faddle's last request to his friend as they bade each other
farewell for the night in Pall Mall. But Faddle was never destined
to see the Colonel's epistle. On his attempting to let himself in at
Badminton Gardens, he was kidnapped by his father in his night-shirt
and dressing-gown; and was sent out of London on the following
morning by long sea down to Aberdeen, whither he was intrusted to
the charge of a stern uncle. Our friend Tom saw nothing more of his
faithful friend till years had rolled over both their heads.
By the morning post, while Tom was still lying sick with
headache,--for even with Signor Bolivia's wine the pulling of many
corks is apt to be dangerous,--there came the letter from the
Colonel. Bad as Tom was, he felt himself constrained to read it at
once, and learned that neither the Torrid zone or Arctic circle
would require his immediate attendance. He was very sick, and
perhaps, therefore, less high in courage than on the few previous
days. Partly, perhaps, from that cause, but partly, also, from the
Colonel's logic, he did find that his wrath was somewhat abated.
Not but what it was still present to his mind that if two men loved
the same girl as ardently, as desperately, as eternally as he loved
Ayala, the best thing for them would be to be put together like the
Kilkenny cats, till whatever remnant should be left of one might have
its chance with the young lady. He still thought that it would be
well that they should fight to the death, but a glimmering of light
fell upon his mind as to the Colonel's abnegation of all treason in
the matter. "I suppose it wasn't to be expected that he should tell,"
he said to himself. "Perhaps I shouldn't have told in the same place.
But as to forgetting animosity that is out of the question! How is
a man to forget his animosity when two men want to marry the same
girl?"
About three o'clock on that day he dressed himself, and sat waiting
for Faddle to come to him. He knew how anxious his friend would be
to see the Colonel's letter. But Faddle by this time had passed
the Nore, and had added sea-sickness to his other maladies. Faddle
came to him no more, and the tedious hours of the afternoon wore
themselves away in his lodgings till he found his solitude to be
almost more unbearable than his previous misfortunes. At last came
the time when he must go out for his dinner. He did not dare to
attempt the Mountaineers. And as for Bolivia, Bolivia with his corks,
and his eating-house, and his vintages, was abominable to him. About
eight o'clock he slunk into a quiet little house on the north side of
Oxford Street, and there had two mutton chops, some buttered toast,
and some tea. As he drank his tea he told himself that on the morrow
he would go back to his mother at Merle Park, and get from her such
consolation as might be possible.