"An ill-looking kind of a body, who declined to give any name, was brought
before the Academy of Sciences, charged with having assaulted a gentleman
of the name of Uranus in the public highway. The prosecutor was a youngish
looking person, wrapped up in two or three great coats; and looked chillier
than anything imaginable, except the prisoner,--whose teeth absolutely
shook, all the time.
Policeman Le Verrier[804] stated that he saw the prosecutor walking along
the pavement,--and sometimes turning sideways, and sometimes running up to
the railings and jerking about in a strange way. Calculated that somebody
must be pulling his coat, or otherwise assaulting him. It was so dark that
he could not see; but thought, if he watched the direction in which the
next odd move was made, he might find out something. When the time came, he
set Bruennow, a constable in another division of the same force, to watch
where he told him; and Bruennow caught the prisoner lurking about in the
very spot,--trying to look as if he was minding his own business. Had
suspected for a long time that somebody was lurking about in the
neighborhood. Bruennow was then called, and deposed to his catching the
prisoner as described.
_M. Arago._--Was the prosecutor sober?
_Le Verrier._--Lord, yes, your worship; no man who had a drop in him ever
looks so cold as he did.
_M. Arago._--Did you see the assault?
_Le Verrier._--I can't say I did; but I told Bruennow exactly how he'd be
crouched down;--just as he was.
{391}
_M. Arago (to Bruennow)._--Did _you_ see the assault?
_Bruennow._--No, your worship; but I caught the prisoner.
_M. Arago._--How did you know there was any assault at all?
_Le Verrier._--I reckoned it couldn't be otherwise, when I saw the
prosecutor making those odd turns on the pavement.
_M. Arago._--You reckon and you calculate! Why, you'll tell me, next, that
you policemen may sit at home and find out all that's going on in the
streets by arithmetic. Did you ever bring a case of this kind before me
till now?
_Le Verrier._--Why, you see, your worship, the police are growing cleverer
and cleverer every day. We can't help it:--it grows upon us.
_M. Arago._--You're getting too clever for me. What does the prosecutor
know about the matter?
The prosecutor said, all he knew was that he was pulled behind by somebody
several times. On being further examined, he said that he had seen the
prisoner often, but did not know his name, nor how he got his living; but
had understood he was called Neptune. He himself had paid rates and taxes a
good many years now. Had a family of six,--two of whom got their own
living.
The prisoner being called on for his defence, said that it was a quarrel.
He had pushed the prosecutor--and the prosecutor had pushed him. They had
known each other a long time, and were always quarreling;--he did not know
why. It was their nature, he supposed. He further said, that the prosecutor
had given a false account of himself;--that he went about under different
names. Sometimes he was called Uranus, sometimes Herschel, and sometimes
Georgium Sidus; and he had no character for regularity in the neighborhood.
Indeed, he was sometimes not to be seen for a long time at once.
The prosecutor, on being asked, admitted, after a little hesitation, that
he had pushed and pulled the prisoner too. {392} In the altercation which
followed, it was found very difficult to make out which began:--and the
worthy magistrate seemed to think they must have begun together.
_M. Arago._--Prisoner, have you any family?
The prisoner declined answering that question at present. He said he
thought the police might as well reckon it out whether he had or not.
_M. Arago_ said he didn't much differ from that opinion.--He then addressed
both prosecutor and prisoner; and told them that if they couldn't settle
their differences without quarreling in the streets, he should certainly
commit them both next time. In the meantime, he called upon both to enter
into their own recognizances; and directed the police to have an eye upon
both,--observing that the prisoner would be likely to want it a long time,
and the prosecutor would be not a hair the worse for it."
This quib was written by a person who was among the astronomers: and it
illustrates the fact that Le Verrier had sole possession of the field until
Mr. Challis's letter appeared. Sir John Herschel's previous communication
should have paved the way: but the wonder of the discovery drove it out of
many heads. There is an excellent account of the whole matter in Professor
Grant's[805] _History of Physical Astronomy_. The squib scandalized some
grave people, who wrote severe admonitions to the editor. There are
formalists who spend much time in writing propriety to journals, to which
they serve as foolometers. In a letter to the _Athenaeum_, speaking of the
way in which people hawk fine terms for common things, I said that these
people ought to have a new translation of the Bible, which should contain
the verse "gentleman and lady, created He them." The editor was handsomely
fired and brimstoned!
{393}