_Mr. Punch_, SIR,--Can you inform me if the Government may be
relied upon to pay compensation to all who suffer loss or damage as a
result of the War? If so, will you be good enough to advise me how to
proceed to get payment for the following items of my own personal loss?
1. Damage to Dresden ornament due to maid's
sudden alarm while dusting it, on hearing
the newspaper boy call (as she thought)
"JELLICOE sunk" £2 0 0
2. Loss of profits on a potential deal, due to
my arriving late in the City on the morning
of January 5th as a consequence of an
argument on London Bridge with that ass
Maralang on matters relating to the War. 60 0 0
3. Expenses incurred by (_a_) spraining the
great toe of my right foot, (_b_) spoiling one
pair of trousers, and (_c_) grazing my forehead,
in the course of field operations with
my drilling corps, to which I belong only
because of the War 4 14 6
4. Loss of office-boy's services for one week as
a result of damage he received from a taxi-cab
while waiting at Charing Cross for
Zeppelins to appear 0 10 0
5. Breakage of glass in my greenhouse on
Boxing Day, caused by my son's defective
aim with the 5 mm. air-gun presented
to him on Christmas Day by me, a gift
inspired directly by the War 3 2 0
6. Undoubted loss of expected and indeed
practically promised legacy from my Aunt
Margaret, caused by an ill-considered
criticism I passed upon a belt she had
knitted for a soldier at the Front; legacy
estimated at not less than £2000. I am,
however, prepared to accept cash down 500 0 0
---------
Total £570 6 6
Yours obediently, COMPUTATOR.
* * * * *
"A marriage has been arranged between Capt. Stokes, 4th (Queen's Own)
Hussars, of St. Botolph's, and Mrs. Stokes and Miss Evelyn Wardell and
Mrs. John Vaughan of Brynwern, Newbridge-on-Wye."--_Welshman._
We hope that without offence we may congratulate him.
* * * * *
"PRIVATE STILLS IN FRANCE."
_Daily News._
He is only one of thousands.
* * * * *