[_The Earl of ABERDEEN on his promotion in the peerage has
adopted the style of Marquess of ABERDEEN AND TARA._]
The Harp that once in Tara's Hall
The soul of music shed
Has had a most disastrous fall
And won't be comforted;
For now, when the Milesian Gael
Looms large upon the scene,
Tara is tacked on to the tail
Of Scottish Aberdeen.
O Casement dear, an' did ye hear the news that's goin' round?
The Germans are by law forbid to land on Irish ground;
And Cork's proud Corporation--may perdition seize their soul!--
Have blotted KUNO MEYER'S name from off their burgess roll.
I met wid PADDY BIRRELL on the links at Overstrand,
An' sez he, "How's poor dear Ireland, and how does she stand?"
She's the most amazin' counthry that iver yet was seen,
For she's let the name of Tara come afther Aberdeen!
O if in dingy khaki we've got to see it through,
And must not taste of _raki_ (which is Turkish mountain-dew),
Still we can wet our whistle with porter and _poteen_,
And extirpate the thistle from Tara's sacred scene.
When laws can turn the pratie into the Frenchman's bean,
An' when the Russian Ballet comes to dance on College Green,
Then I'll accept the title, though I'm a patriot keen,
But till that day Tara shall stay in front of Aberdeen.
_Chorus_ (_to the tune of Tarara-Boom-de-ay._)
TARA AND ABERDEEN--that's what it should have been,
For never has there been an insult so obscene
To dear Dark ROSALEEN, our holy Island Queen,
As letting Tara's sheen be dimmed by Aberdeen.
* * * * *
"Grease Spots on Milk.--Take a lump of magnesia, and, having wetted
it, rub it over the grease-marks. Let it dry, and then brush the
powder off, when the spots will be found to have disappeared."--_North
Wilts Herald._
They didn't. Perhaps we had the wrong kind of milk.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Lady._ "I WANT SOME STUDS, PLEASE, FOR MY SON."
_Shopman._ "YES, MADAM--FOR THE FRONT?"
_Lady._ "NO--HOME DEFENCE."]
* * * * *