AS GOOD AS A MILE.

As this happened over a month ago, it is disclosing no military

secret to say that the North Sea was extraordinarily calm. It was

neither raining nor sleeting nor blowing; indeed the sun was actually

visible, an alcoholic-visaged sun, glowing like a stage fire through

a frosty haze. From the cruiser that was steaming slowly ahead, with

no apparent object beyond that of killing time, the only break to be

seen in the smoky blue of the sea was the dull copper reflection on

one-half of its wake; and that somehow attracted no comment from the

man on the look-out. Bits of flotsam nevertheless, however harmlessly

flotsam, were recorded on their appearance in a penetrating mechanical

sing-song, with a strong Cockney accent, as were the occasional

glimpses of the shores of Norway.

All that could manage it were on deck, enjoying the unusual freedom

from oilskins. The captain was assuring the commander that the safest

way of avoiding a cold was to sit in a draught with a wet shirt on; a

marine was having a heated argument with a petty officer as to whether

the remnants of the German Navy would be destroyed or taken over at the

end of the War; the torpedo-lieutenant was telling the A. P. what jolly

scenery there was from here if only one could see it, and pronouncing

his conviction that it was mere beef and not real reindeer that they

had given him for lunch at the hotel up the fjord; while the A. P.

was mentally calculating the chances of the old man's coming down

handsomely enough to allow his honeymoon to run to Norway when the war

was over.

"Periscope on the port bow, Sir!" It disappeared in the spray of

half-a-dozen shells, and emerged unharmed for an instant before it

dipped; but a rapidly-forming line of torpedo-bubbles showed that the

submarine too had seen, and had made answer after its fashion.

People who ought to know assure us that the truly great often regret

their days of obscurity; certainly the captain now wished that he were

still merely the lieutenant-commander of a T.B. Then he could have

turned nearly parallel to the course of the torpedo, and tried for a

ram. With the heavier and slower ship there was no room or time for

such a manoeuvre; it was full speed ahead or astern. The torpedo was

well-aimed, and, seeing from its track that it would meet their course

ahead, he rang full speed astern. The ship quivered distressingly, and

the water boiled beneath her stern. There was nothing left to do but

wait and trust to the propellers.

Ranks and ratings alike clustered to the side, watching those bubbles

with a curiously dispassionate interest; but for the silence they might

have been a crowd of tourists assembled to see a whale. One low "Six

to four against the torpedo" was heard; and a sub with a pathetically

incipient beard asked for a match in a needlessly loud tone. The

bubbles drew near, very near, and were hidden from all but one or two

beneath the bow; hands gripped the rails rather tightly, and then once

more the line of bubbles appeared, now to the starboard. Men turned and

looked at each other curiously as if they were new acquaintances; one

or two shook hands rather shamefacedly; and the sub who had asked for a

match found that his cigarette wanted another.

And from the look-out, in the same mechanical sing-song, came "Torpedo

passed ahead, Sir!"

* * * * *

Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 148, January 27, 1915 · 第 16 / 45 题