I've really been extremely gay--
I've done most things (I mean, in reason)--
And, though "it is not always _May_,"
It has been, during my first season.
At balls and parties I've had fun;
I've listened to Home-Rule disputes;
There's only one thing I've not done--
Alas! I've not been down "the Chutes"!
With screams and laughter from the height
I saw men splash their nice new suits;
It seemed to cause them great delight;
But still--I have not shot the Chutes.
I've been to all the good first nights,
I've cried at DUSE, laughed at PENLEY,
I have seen all the London sights,
I've been to Sandown, Lord's, and Henley.
At IBSEN I've serenely smiled,
While suff'ring torture from new boots;
GLADSTONE I've met, and OSCAR WILDE--
But ah! I've not been down the Chutes!
_Envoi._
Prince, one regret I feel on leaving
For country air, and flowers, and fruits--
I quit gay London only grieving
To think I have not shot the Chutes!
* * * * *
"A deuce of a mess between France and Siam," observed a Bow-window
Politician of Clubland. "A deuce of a mess?" repeated the other
Bow-window man. "You mean, as far as France is concerned, it's the
very DEVELLE!"
* * * * *