(_Written by Request._)
[Illustration: Coming for an Interview.]
Great heav'ns! Here, where's my paper, pen, and ink!
How _is_ it all this while I have omitted you?
For _her_ I've rhymed, and Her, and HER; don't think,
I beg then, that I'll from my duty shrink,
A duty to a lady smart and witty due.
I'm really sorry for this painful lapse
Of etiquette--_'twas_ careless, now you mention it.
I thought--let's see, what _did_ I think?--perhaps
You'd hardly time to read poetic scraps;
Your leisure's precious, and I dared not trench on it!
Then ladies of the Press bar compliments
(At least _I_ seldom find they will permit any!),
So I'm impelled to write plain common sense,
As near as may be, and on no pretence
Aspire to high-flown ode or "lover's litany"!
But still you've _asked_ me, and I'd much regret
Not to oblige you promptly, if I know a way;
The more so, as you've just dropped in to get
A cup of tea and smoke a c-g-r-tte.
(By Jove, I hope I haven't giv'n the show away!)
Well, I've not _said_ much, but I've thought the more:
If I were fulsome in your praise, why, "Drat it!" you'd
Most probably remark, or "What a bore!"
So, therefore, please between the lines explore--
'Twas _you_ who bade me thus descend to platitude!
* * * * *
'ARRY says he was "much interested in 'earing of a nartickle in the
_St. James's Gazette_ last week, 'eaded _The 'Aunt of the Otter_. He
'opes the writer will next give us _The Uncle of the Coolie_."
* * * * *