"`And then I met a little man,
Couldn't say his prayers,
I took him by the left leg
And sent him downstairs.'"
As soon as we were in the parlour, I acquainted the doctor with what had
happened. "I'm sure I thought she was dead," said I, when I had
finished the story.
"Jack, when I asked you where your mother was bad, external or internal,
you replied both, and a great deal more besides. So she is--internally,
externally, and infernally bad," said the doctor, laughing. "And so she
amputated your father's pigtail, did she, the Delilah? Pity one could
not amputate her head, it would make a good woman of her. Good bye,
Jack; I must go and look after Tom, he's swallowed a whole yard of
stick-liquorice by this time."
Soon afterwards Ben the Whaler came in to inquire after my father, and I
told him what had occurred. He was very indignant at my mother's
conduct, and, as soon the affair was known, so were all the tenants of
Fisher's Alley. When my mother went out, or had words with any of her
neighbours, the retort was invariably, "Who sent the press-gang after
her own husband?" or, "Who cut off the tail from her husband's back?
Wasn't that a _genteel_ trick?" All this worried my mother, and she
became very morose and ill-tempered; I believe she would have left the
alley, if she had not taken a long lease of the house. She had now
imbibed a decided hatred for me, which she never failed to show upon
every occasion, for she knew that it was I who had roused my father, and
prevented her escape from his wrath. The consequence was, that I was
seldom at home, except to sleep. I sauntered to the beach, ran into the
water, sometimes rowed in the wherries, at others hauling them in and
holding them steady for the passengers to land. I was beginning to be
useful to the watermen, and was very often rewarded with a piece of
bread and cheese, or a drink of beer out of their pots. The first year
after my father's visit, I was seldom given a meal, and continually
beaten--indeed, sometimes cruelly so--but as I grew stronger, I rebelled
and fought, and with such success that, although I was hated more, I was
punished less.
One scene between my mother and me may serve as a specimen for all. I
would come home with my trousers tucked up, and my _high-lows_ unlaced
and full of water, sucking every time that I lifted up my leg, and
marking the white sanded floor of the front room, as I proceeded through
it to the back kitchen. My mother would come downstairs, and perceiving
the marks I had left, would get angry, and as usual commence singing--
"`A frog he would a-wooing go,
Heigho, says Rowly.'
"I see here's that little wretch been here--
"`Whether his mother would let him or no,
Heigho, says Rowly.'
"I'll rowly him with the rolling-pin when I get hold of him. He's worse
than that beastly water-spaniel of Sir Hercules', who used to shake
himself over my best cambric muslin. Well, we'll see. He'll be wanting
his dinner; I only wish he may get it.
"`Little Jack Horner sat in a corner,
Eating his Christmas pie;
He put in his thumb and pull'd out a plum,
And cried, What a good boy am I!'
"`Good boy am I!' good-for-nothing brat, just like his father. Oh,
dear!--if I could but get rid of him!
"`There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,
She'd so many children she didn't know what to do;
She gave them some broth without any bread,
She whipped them all round, and sent them to bed.'
"And if I don't whip him, it's fault, that's all. Virginia, my love,
don't spit--that's not genteel. It's only sailors and Yankees who spit.
Nasty little brute! Oh! here you are, are you?" cried my mother, as I
entered. "Do you see what a dirty mess you have made, you little
ungrateful animal? Take that, and that, and that," continued she,
running the wet bristles of the long broom into my face, with sufficient
force to make my nose bleed. I stood the first push, and the second;
but the third roused my indignation--and I caught hold of the end of the
broom towards me, and tried to force it out of her hands. It was push
against push, for I was very strong;--she, screaming as loud as she
could, as she tried to wrest the broom from my clutches;--I, shoving at
her with all my force--like Punch and the devil at the two ends of the
stick. At last, after she had held me in a corner for half a minute, I
made a rush upon her, drove her right to the opposite corner, so that
the end of the handle gave her a severe poke in the body, which made her
give up the contest, and exclaim as soon as she recovered her
breath,--"Oh! you nasty, ungrateful, ungenteel brute! You little viper!
Is that the way you treat your mother--and nearly kill her? Oh, dear
me!"
"Why don't you leave me alone, then? you never beats Jenny."
"Who's Jenny, you wicked good-for-nothing boy? you mean your sister
Virginia. Well, you'll have no dinner, I can tell you."
I put my hand in my pocket, took out a sixpence which I had received,
and held it up between my thumb and finger. "Won't I?"
"You oudacious boy! that's the way you're spoiled by foolish people
giving you money."
"Good bye, mother." So saying, I leaped over the board fixed up at the
door, and was again down at the beach. Indeed, I was now what is termed
a regular _Mud-larker_, picking up halfpence by running into the water,
offering my ragged arm to people getting out of the wherries, always
saluting them with, "You haven't got never a half penny for poor Jack,
your honour?" and sometimes I did get a halfpenny, sometimes a shove,
according to the temper of those whom I addressed. When I was not on
the beach, I was usually in company with Ben the Whaler, who, after my
father's visit, was more kind to me than ever; and there were several
other pensioners who were great friends of mine; and I used to listen to
their long yarns, which were now becoming a source of great delight to
me; at other times I would be with the watermen, assisting them to clean
out their wherries, or pay the seams. In fact, I was here, there, and
everywhere except at home--always active, always employed, and, I may
add, almost always wet. My mother used to scold whenever I came in; but
that I did not mind: her greatest punishment was refusing me a clean
shirt on a Sunday. At last I picked up halfpence enough to pay, not
only for my food, such as it was, but for my own washing, and every day
I became more independent and more happy.
There were other ways by which money was to be obtained during the
summer season, which were from the company who used to come down to the
whitebait parties at the Ship and other taverns. There were many other
boys who frequented the beach besides me, and we used to stand under the
windows, and attract attention by every means in our power, so as to
induce the company to throw us halfpence to scramble for. This they
would do to while away their time until their dinner was ready, or to
amuse themselves and the ladies by seeing us roll and tumble one over
the other. Sometimes they would throw a sixpence into the river, where
the water was about two feet deep, to make us wet ourselves through in
groping for it. Indeed, they were very generous when they wished to be
amused; and every kind of offer was made to them which we thought suited
to their tastes, or likely to extract money from their pockets.
"Dip my head in the mud for sixpence, sir!" would one of us cry out; and
then he would be outbid by another.
"Roll myself all over and over in the mud, face and all, sir--only give
me sixpence!"
Sometimes I would perceive a lovely countenance, beaming with pity and
compassion at our rags and apparent wretchedness, and then the money
thrown to me gave me much more pleasure; but the major portion of those
who threw us silver for their own amusement would not have given us a
farthing, if we had asked charity for the love of God.
It must not, however, be supposed that I gained the enviable situation
of _Poor Jack_ until I had been some time on the beach. There are
competitors for every place, even the most humble; and there was no want
of competitors for this office among the many idle boys who frequented
the beach. When I first plied there, I was often pushed away by those
who were older and stronger than myself, with a "Go along with you!
He's not poor Jack--I'm poor Jack, your honour." This, at first, I
submitted to; taking my chance for a stray halfpenny, which was
occasionally thrown to me, trusting to my activity in being the first
down to the boat, or to my quickness in a scramble. I never quarrelled
with the other boys, for I was remarkable for my good temper. The first
idea I had of resistance was from oppression. One of the boys, who was
older and taller than myself, attempted to take away a sixpence which I
had gained in a scramble. Before that, I had not resented being pushed
away, or even when they threw water or mud at me; but this was an act of
violence which I could not put up with: the consequence was a fight; in
which, to my surprise (for I was not aware of my strength), as well as
to the surprise of the bystanders, I proved victorious, beating my
opponent until he reeled into the water, following him up until he
tumbled, and then holding his head down in the mud until he was almost
stifled. I then allowed him to get up, and he went home crying to his
mother. For this feat I was rewarded with the plaudits of the old
pensioners and others who were looking on, and with a shilling which was
thrown to me from the window of the inn. Ben the Whaler, who had
witnessed the fray, told me, the next day, that I handled my fists
remarkably well, and that I had but to keep a higher guard and I should
fight well. He was an old pugilist himself, and he gave me a few
directions which I did not forget. I soon had occasion to put them into
practice; for, two days afterwards, another boy, bigger than myself, as
I was plying as "Poor Jack," pushed me back so hard that I fell off the
steps into the deep water, and there was a general laugh against me. I
did not care for the ducking, but the laugh I could not bear: as soon as
I gained the steps again, I rushed upon him and threw him off, and he
fell into the wherry, and, as it afterwards appeared, he strained his
back very much; nevertheless he came out to thrash me; and this time it
was a regular fight, as the pensioners and watermen interfered, taking
us both up on the higher ground, and seeing that it was fair play. Ben
the Whaler acted as my second, and we set to. The boy was too powerful
for me, had it not been for the hurt he had received, and the
instructions I obtained from Ben every time that I sat on his knee
between each round. Still it was a very hard fight, and I was terribly
beaten; but I could not give up, for so many betted upon my winning, and
Ben told me, at the end of every round, that, if I only stood up one
more, I should be certain to beat him, and that then I should be _Poor
Jack for ever_! The last inducement stimulated me to immense exertion:
we closed and wrestled, and my antagonist was thrown; and, in
consequence of the strain he had before received, he could not stand up
any more. Poor fellow! he was in great pain; he was taken home, and
obliged to have a doctor, and an abscess formed in his side. He was a
long while getting well, and, when he came out of doors again, he was so
pale. I was very sorry for him, and we were always the best friends
afterwards, and I gave him many a half penny, until I had an opportunity
of serving him.
I mention these two fights, because they obtained for me a greater
reputation than I deserved: this reputation perhaps saved me a great
deal more fighting, and obtained me the mastery over the other boys on
the beach. Indeed, I became such a favourite with the watermen, that
they would send the other boys away; and thus did I become, at last, the
acknowledged, true, lawful, and legitimate "Poor Jack of Greenwich."