By the will of your second cousin, Halloran O’Leary, deceased
October last, I am directed to transmit to each of the
beneficiaries so as to reach them on Christmas day exactly, the
sum of one thousand dollars ($1000), which I enclose.
Sincerely yours,
MCDAVITT & COURTNEY,
Attorneys.
“Let me read it,” said Flick, while Tootles gazed anxiously at King
O’Leary, in doubt as to the effect on his heart. Then they all sat
down and looked at each other.
“Say something,” said Flick angrily, at last.
“I feel like praying,” said Tootles weakly. “I believe I’ll believe
in Santa Claus.”
They examined the letter again, passing it from hand to hand,
turning it over and over in a sort of stupefaction, without finding
a flaw. Even the draft was at sight on a New York bank.
“King,” said Flick reverently, “never let me hear you curse
Christmas again.”
“Never again.” He gazed at the check overwhelmed. “My Lord, how can
we ever spend that money!”
“Art and Literature will help you,” said Tootles cheerfully.
The problem was a terrific one. They all sat down to think again.
“Boys, we’ve brought each other luck,” said King O’Leary, with a
sudden glow. “Here’s my proposition: If you like me as I like you,
I’ll move my old tune-box in to-night and pay a year’s rent.”
Flick and Tootles first shook his hand with emotion, giving him, so
to speak, the accolade, and then protested.
“You’re one of us, but nix on that rent idea. I’m firmly against
that,” said Tootles. “Suppose we went up in smoke?”
“But how the deuce, then, are we to get away with it?” said King
O’Leary, frowning. “If I invest it, some one else will get it. By
golly, this time I’m going to have a run for my money! We must do
the thing up in a big way--one grand splash. We might move over to
the St. Regis and take the bridal suite.”
Flick was visibly impressed at this possibility of entering
society, but Tootles turned the idea aside with the suggestion of a
superior craftiness.
“And after it’s gone, what good will it do you? No, no; spend it
where it will leave grateful memories,” he said wisely. “Keep it
right around the block.”
“Them’s is wise words,” said Flick, yielding at once. “Tootles, you
lack a heart, but you’re wise. It’s a wonder, though, you didn’t
gum it all by stealing those oranges.”
“Pooh! I’m not superstitious,” said Tootles, while King O’Leary was
still immersed in the distressing problem of how to get rid of the
perplexing windfall.
“I am,” said Flick, “for let me tell you right now that this is
the reward of virtue, _my_ virtue. You needn’t throw up your
hands. It’s what comes of having a kind heart. Yes, even toward
elevators--always remember the milk of human kindness,” continued
Flick, looking at Tootles reproachfully.
“Right you are,” said King O’Leary, with conviction, for his faith
was of the simplest. And suddenly he exploded: “Flick, you’ve found
it. By golly, son, I’ll tell you now how we’ll start to crack that
check!”
“How?”
“We’ll have a Christmas of our own--a tree with presents for
every one, and a Christmas dinner with a turkey and a pig--yes,
sir, a roast pig!” His eyes began to snap as he enlarged upon his
idea. “Boys, we’ll have them in, every lonely mother’s son of
them--daughters, too! We’ll have an orchestra and decorate the
studio--By jingo, we’ll give the old place the greatest shebang
these regions have ever known!”
“King O’Leary,” said Tootles rapturously, “tell me the truth--_are_
you Santa Claus?”
* * * * *
An hour later there was deposited at the door of each room along
the hall, to the amazement of each occupant, the following card,
jointly composed and decorated with Christmas designs by Tootles,
in which a tree, a turkey, and a roast pig disported:
WHY BE GLUM?
GET TOGETHER AND SWAT THAT GROUCH!
MR. ST. GEORGE KIDDER, MR. FLICK WILDER,
AND MR. KING O’LEARY
INVITE YOU TO A LITTLE CHRISTMAS OF
THEIR OWN
ONE GLITTERING, GUZZLING GORGE,
including a monster TURKEY and a genuine roast PIG,
prepared absolutely regardless of expense.
CHRISTMAS DINNER AT 7
CHRISTMAS TREE AT 9.
CHRISTMAS DANCE AT 10.
MR. FLICK WILDER will carve the roast pig;
MR. KING O’LEARY will tickle the ivories;
MR. ST. GEORGE KIDDER will amuse.
COME AND ENJOY YOURSELVES
STAY AWAY AND BE DAMNED.