IV

Now, by the strange enchantment that surrounds thee,

There's nothing--nothing thou shalt ask in vain.

ESSEX.

"While in my confinement Tiberge came one day to see me. I was

surprised at the affectionate joy with which he saluted me. I had

never, hitherto, observed any peculiar warmth in his friendship that

could lead me to look upon it as anything more than the partiality

common among boys of the same age. He was so altered, and had grown so

manly during the five or six months since I had last seen him, that his

expressive features and his manner of addressing me inspired me with a

feeling of respect. He spoke more in the character of a mentor than a

schoolfellow, lamented the delusion into which I had fallen,

congratulated me on my reformation, which he believed was now sincere,

and ended by exhorting me to profit by my youthful error, and open my

eyes to the vanity of worldly pleasures. I looked at him with some

astonishment, which he at once perceived.

"'My dear chevalier,' said he to me, 'you shall hear nothing but the

strict truth, of which I have assured myself by the most serious

examination. I had, perhaps, as strong an inclination for pleasure as

you, but Heaven had at the same time, in its mercy, blessed me with a

taste for virtue. I exercised my reason in comparing the consequences

of the one with those of the other, and the divine aid was graciously

vouchsafed to my reflections. I conceived for the world a contempt

which nothing can equal. Can you guess what it is retains me in it

now,' he added, 'and that prevents me from embracing a life of

solitude? Simply the sincere friendship I bear towards you. I know

the excellent qualities of both your heart and head. There is no good

of which you may not render yourself capable. The blandishments of

pleasure have momentarily drawn you aside. What detriment to the

sacred cause of virtue! Your flight from Amiens gave me such intense

sorrow, that I have not since known a moment's happiness. You may judge

of this by the steps it induced me to take.' He then told me how,

after discovering that I had deceived him, and gone off with my

mistress, he procured horses for the purpose of pursuing me, but having

the start of him by four or five hours, he found it impossible to

overtake me; that he arrived, however, at St. Denis half an hour after

I had left it; that, being very sure that I must have stopped in Paris,

he spent six weeks there in a fruitless endeavour to discover

me--visiting every place where he thought he should be likely to meet

me, and that one evening he at length recognised my mistress at the

play, where she was so gorgeously dressed, that he of course set it

down to the account of some new lover; that he had followed her

equipage to her house, and had there learned from a servant that she

was entertained in this style by M. de B----. 'I did not stop here,'

continued he; 'I returned next day to the house, to learn from her own

lips what had become of you. She turned abruptly away when she heard

the mention of your name, and I was obliged to return into the country

without further information. I there learned the particulars of your

adventure, and the extreme annoyance she had caused you; but I was

unwilling to visit you until I could have assurance of your being in a

more tranquil state.'

"'You have seen Manon then!' cried I, sighing. 'Alas! you are happier

than I, who am doomed never again to behold her.' He rebuked me for

this sigh, which still showed my weakness for the perfidious girl. He

flattered me so adroitly upon the goodness of my mind and disposition,

that he really inspired me, even on this first visit, with a strong

inclination to renounce, as he had done, the pleasures of the world,

and enter at once into holy orders.

"The idea was so suited to my present frame of mind, that when alone I

thought of nothing else. I remembered the words of the Bishop of

Amiens, who had given me the same advice, and thought only of the

happiness which he predicted would result from my adoption of such a

course. Piety itself took part in these suggestions. 'I shall lead a

holy and a Christian life,' said I; 'I shall divide my time between

study and religion, which will allow me no leisure for the perilous

pleasures of love. I shall despise that which men ordinarily admire;

and as I am conscious that my heart will desire nothing but what it can

esteem, my cares will not be greater or more numerous than my wants and

wishes.'

"I thereupon pictured to myself in anticipation a course of life

peaceful and retired. I fancied a retreat embosomed in a wood, with a

limpid stream of running water bounding my garden; a library,

comprising the most select works; a limited circle of friends, virtuous

and intellectual; a table neatly served, but frugal and temperate. To

all these agremens I added a literary correspondence with a friend

whose residence should be in Paris, who should give me occasional

information upon public affairs, less for the gratification of my

curiosity, than to afford a kind of relaxation by hearing of and

lamenting the busy follies of men. 'Shall not I be happy?' added I;

'will not my utmost wishes be thus gratified?' This project flattered

my inclinations extremely. But after all the details of this most

admirable and prudent plan, I felt that my heart still yearned for

something; and that in order to leave nothing to desire in this most

enchanting retirement, one ought to be able to share it with Manon.

"However, Tiberge continuing to pay me frequent visits in order to

strengthen me in the purpose with which he had inspired me, I took an

opportunity of opening the subject to my father. He declared that his

intention ever was to leave his children free to choose a profession,

and that in whatever manner I should dispose of myself, all he wished

to reserve was the right of aiding me with his counsel. On this

occasion he gave me some of the wisest, which tended less to divert me

from my project, than to convince me of my good father's sound judgment

and discretion.

"The recommencement of the scholastic year being at hand, Tiberge and I

agreed to enter ourselves together at St. Sulpice, he to pursue his

theological studies, and I to begin mine. His merits, which were not

unknown to the bishop of the diocese, procured him the promise of a

living from that prelate before our departure.

"My father, thinking me quite cured of my passion, made no objection to

my taking final leave. We arrived at Paris. The Cross of Malta gave

place to the ecclesiastical habit, and the designation of the Abbé de

Grieux was substituted for that of chevalier. I applied so diligently

to study, that in a few months I had made extraordinary progress. I

never lost a moment of the day, and employed even part of the night. I

soon acquired such a reputation, that I was already congratulated upon

the honours which I was sure of obtaining; and, without solicitation on

my part, my name was inscribed on the list for a vacant benefice.

Piety was by no means neglected, and I entered with ardent devotion

into all the exercises of religion. Tiberge was proud of what he

considered the work of his own hands, and many a time have I seen him

shed tears of delight in noticing what he styled my perfect conversion.

"It has never been matter of wonder to me that human resolutions are

liable to change; one passion gives them birth, another may destroy

them; but when I reflect upon the sacredness of those motives that led

me to St. Sulpice, and upon the heartfelt satisfaction I enjoyed while

obeying their dictation, I shudder at the facility with which I

outraged them all. If it be true that the benign succour afforded by

Heaven is at all times equal to the strongest of man's pinions, I shall

be glad to learn the nature of the deplorable ascendancy which causes

us suddenly to swerve from the path of duty, without the power of

offering the least resistance, and without even the slightest

visitation of remorse.

"I now thought myself entirely safe from the dangers of love. I

fancied that I could have preferred a single page of St. Augustine, or

a quarter of an hour of Christian meditation, to every sensual

gratification, not excepting any that I might have derived even from

Manon's society. Nevertheless, one unlucky moment plunged me again

headlong into the gulf; and my ruin was the more irreparable, because,

falling at once to the same depth from whence I had been before

rescued, each of the new disorders into which I now lapsed carried me

deeper and deeper still down the profound abyss of vice. I had passed

nearly a year at Paris without hearing of Manon. It cost me no slight

effort to abstain from enquiry; but the unintermitting advice of

Tiberge, and my own reflections, secured this victory over my wishes.

The last months glided away so tranquilly, that I considered the memory

of this charming but treacherous creature about to be consigned to

eternal oblivion.

"The time arrived when I was to undergo a public examination in the

class of theology: I invited several persons of consideration to

honour me with their presence on the occasion. My name was mentioned in

every quarter of Paris: it even reached the ears of her who had

betrayed me. She had some difficulty in recognising it with the prefix

of Abbé; but curiosity, or perhaps remorse for having been faithless to

me (I could never after ascertain by which of these feelings she was

actuated), made her at once take an interest in a name so like mine;

and she came with several other women to the Sorbonne, where she was

present at my examination, and had doubtless little trouble in

recognising my person.

"I had not the remotest suspicion of her presence. It is well known

that in these places there are private seats for ladies, where they

remain screened by a curtain. I returned to St. Sulpice covered with

honours and congratulations. It was six in the evening. The moment I

returned, a lady was announced, who desired to speak with me. I went

to meet her. Heavens! what a surprise!

"It was Manon. It was she indeed, but more bewitching and brilliant

than I had ever beheld her. She was now in her eighteenth year. Her

beauty beggars all description. The exquisite grace of her form, the

mild sweetness of expression that animated her features, and her

engaging air, made her seem the very personification of love. The

vision was something too perfect for human beauty.

"I stood like one enchanted at beholding her. Unable to divine the

object of her visit, I waited trembling and with downcast looks until

she explained herself. At first, her embarrassment was equal to mine;

but, seeing that I was not disposed to break silence, she raised her

hand to her eyes to conceal a starting tear, and then, in a timid tone,

said that she well knew she had justly earned my abhorrence by her

infidelity; but that if I had ever really felt any love for her, there

was not much kindness in allowing two long years to pass without

enquiring after her, and as little now in seeing her in the state of

mental distress in which she was, without condescending to bestow upon

her a single word. I shall not attempt to describe what my feelings

were as I listened to this reproof.

"She seated herself. I remained standing, with my face half turned

aside, for I could not muster courage to meet her look. I several

times commenced a reply without power to conclude it. At length I made

an effort, and in a tone of poignant grief exclaimed: 'Perfidious

Manon! perfidious, perfidious creature!' She had no wish, she repeated

with a flood of tears, to attempt to justify her infidelity. 'What is

your wish, then?' cried I. 'I wish to die,' she answered, 'if you will

not give me back that heart, without which it is impossible to endure

life.' 'Take my life too, then, faithless girl!' I exclaimed, in vain

endeavouring to restrain my tears; 'take my life also! it is the sole

sacrifice that remains for me to make, for my heart has never ceased to

be thine.'

"I had hardly uttered these words, when she rose in a transport of joy,

and approached to embrace me. She loaded me with a thousand caresses.

She addressed me by all the endearing appellations with which love

supplies his votaries, to enable them to express the most passionate

fondness. I still answered with affected coldness; but the sudden

transition from a state of quietude, such as that I had up to this

moment enjoyed, to the agitation and tumult which were now kindled in

my breast and tingled through my veins, thrilled me with a kind of

horror, and impressed me with a vague sense that I was about to undergo

some great transformation, and to enter upon a new existence.

"We sat down close by each other. I took her hand within mine, 'Ah!

Manon,' said I, with a look of sorrow, 'I little thought that love like

mine could have been repaid with treachery! It was a poor triumph to

betray a heart of which you were the absolute mistress--whose sole

happiness it was to gratify and obey you. Tell me if among others you

have found any so affectionate and so devoted? No, no! I believe

nature has cast few hearts in the same mould as mine. Tell me at least

whether you have ever thought of me with regret! Can I have any

reliance on the duration of the feeling that has brought you back to me

today? I perceive too plainly that you are infinitely lovelier than

ever: but I conjure you by all my past sufferings, dearest Manon, to

tell me--can you in future be more faithful?'

"She gave me in reply such tender assurances of her repentance, and

pledged her fidelity with such solemn protestations and vows, that I

was inexpressibly affected. 'Beauteous Manon,' said I, with rather a

profane mixture of amorous and theological expressions, 'you are too

adorable for a created being. I feel my heart transported with

triumphant rapture. It is folly to talk of liberty at St. Sulpice.

Fortune and reputation are but slight sacrifices at such a shrine! I

plainly foresee it: I can read my destiny in your bright eyes; but what

abundant recompense shall I not find in your affections for any loss I

may sustain! The favours of fortune have no influence over me: fame

itself appears to me but a mockery; all my projects of a holy life were

wild absurdities: in fact, any joys but those I may hope for at your

side are fit objects of contempt. There are none that would not vanish

into worthlessness before one single glance of thine!'

"In promising her, however, a full remission of her past frailties, I

enquired how she permitted herself to be led astray by B----. She

informed me that having seen her at her window, he became passionately

in love with her; that he made his advances in the true style of a

mercantile cit;--that is to say, by giving her to understand in his

letter, that his payments would be proportioned to her favours; that

she had admitted his overtures at first with no other intention than

that of getting from him such a sum as might enable us to live without

inconvenience; but that he had so bewildered her with splendid

promises, that she allowed herself to be misled by degrees. She added,

that I ought to have formed some notion of the remorse she experienced,

by her grief on the night of our separation; and assured me that, in

spite of the splendour in which he maintained her, she had never known

a moment's happiness with him, not only, she said, because he was

utterly devoid of that delicacy of sentiment and of those agreeable

manners which I possessed, but because even in the midst of the

amusements which he unceasingly procured her, she could never shake off

the recollection of my love, or her own ingratitude. She then spoke of

Tiberge, and the extreme embarrassment his visit caused her. 'A

dagger's point,' she added, 'could not have struck more terror to my

heart. I turned from him, unable to sustain the interview for a

moment.'

"She continued to inform me how she had been apprised of my residence

at Paris, of the change in my condition, and of her witnessing my

examination at the Sorbonne. She told me how agitated she had been

during my intellectual conflict with the examiner; what difficulty she

felt in restraining her tears as well as her sighs, which were more

than once on the point of spurning all control, and bursting forth;

that she was the last person to leave the hall of examination, for fear

of betraying her distress, and that, following only the instinct of her

own heart, and her ardent desires, she came direct to the seminary,

with the firm resolution of surrendering life itself, if she found me

cruel enough to withhold my forgiveness.

"Could any savage remain unmoved by such proofs of cordial repentance

as those I had just witnessed? For my part, I felt at the moment that

I could gladly have given up all the bishoprics in Christendom for

Manon. I asked what course she would recommend in our present

emergency. 'It is requisite,' she replied, 'at all events, to quit the

seminary, and settle in some safer place.' I consented to everything

she proposed. She got into her carriage to go and wait for me at the

corner of the street. I escaped the next moment, without attracting

the porter's notice. I entered the carriage, and we drove off to a

Jew's. I there resumed my lay-dress and sword. Manon furnished the

supplies, for I was without a sou, and fearing that I might meet with

some new impediment, she would not consent to my returning to my room

at St. Sulpice for my purse. My finances were in truth wretchedly low,

and hers more than sufficiently enriched by the liberality of M. de

B---- to make her think lightly of my loss. We consulted together at

the Jew's as to the course we should now adopt.

"In order to enhance the sacrifice she had made for me of her late

lover, she determined to treat him without the least ceremony. 'I

shall leave him all his furniture,' she said; 'it belongs to him: but I

shall assuredly carry off, as I have a right to do, the jewels, and

about sixty thousand francs, which I have had from him in the last two

years. I have given him no control over me,' she added, 'so that we

may remain without apprehension in Paris, taking a convenient house,

where we shall live, oh how happily together!'

"I represented to her that, although there might be no danger for her,

there was a great deal for me, who must be sooner or later infallibly

recognised, and continually exposed to a repetition of the trials I had

before endured. She gave me to understand that she could not quit

Paris without regret. I had such a dread of giving her annoyance, that

there were no risks I would not have encountered for her sake.

However, we compromised matters by resolving to take a house in some

village near Paris, from whence it would be easy for us to come into

town whenever pleasure or business required it. We fixed on Chaillot,

which is at a convenient distance. Manon at once returned to her

house, and I went to wait for her at a side-gate of the garden of the

Tuileries.

"She returned an hour after, in a hired carriage, with a servant-maid,

and several trunks, which contained her dresses, and everything she had

of value.

"We were not long on our way to Chaillot. We lodged the first night at

the inn, in order to have time to find a suitable house, or at least a

commodious lodging. We found one to our taste the next morning.

"My happiness now appeared to be secured beyond the reach of fate.

Manon was everything most sweet and amiable. She was so delicate and

so unceasing in her attentions to me, that I deemed myself but too

bountifully rewarded for all my past troubles. As we had both, by this

time, acquired some experience, we discussed rationally the state of

our finances. Sixty thousand francs (the amount of our wealth) was not

a sum that could be expected to last our whole life; besides, we were

neither of us much disposed to control our expenses. Manon's chief

virtue assuredly was not economy, any more than it was mine. This was

my proposition. 'Sixty thousand francs,' said I, 'may support us for

ten years. Two thousand crowns a year will suffice, if we continue to

live at Chaillot. We shall keep up appearances, but live frugally. Our

only expense will be occasionally a carriage, and the theatres. We

shall do everything in moderation. You like the opera; we shall go

twice a week, in the season. As for play, we shall limit ourselves; so

that our losses must never exceed three crowns. It is impossible but

that in the space of ten years some change must occur in my family: my

father is even now of an advanced age; he may die; in which event I

must inherit a fortune, and we shall then be above all other fears.'

"This arrangement would not have been by any means the most silly act

of my life, if we had only been prudent enough to persevere in its

execution; but our resolutions hardly lasted longer than a month.

Manon's passion was for amusement; she was the only object of mine.

New temptations to expense constantly presented themselves, and far

from regretting the money which she sometimes prodigally lavished, I

was the first to procure for her everything likely to afford her

pleasure. Our residence at Chaillot began even to appear tiresome.

"Winter was approaching, and the whole world returning to town; the

country had a deserted look. She proposed to me to take a house in

Paris. I did not approve of this; but, in order partly at least to

satisfy her, I said that we might hire furnished apartments, and that

we might sleep there whenever we were late in quitting the assembly,

whither we often went; for the inconvenience of returning so late to

Chaillot was her excuse for wishing to leave it. We had thus two

dwellings, one in town and the other in the country. This change soon

threw our affairs into confusion, and led to two adventures, which

eventually caused our ruin.

"Manon had a brother in the Guards. He unfortunately lived in the very

street in which we had taken lodgings. He one day recognised his

sister at the window, and hastened over to us. He was a fellow of the

rudest manners, and without the slightest principle of honour. He

entered the room swearing in the most horrible way; and as he knew part

of his sister's history, he loaded her with abuse and reproaches.

"I had gone out the moment before, which was doubtless fortunate for

either him or me, for I was little disposed to brook an insult. I only

returned to the lodgings after he had left them. The low spirits in

which I found Manon convinced me at once that something extraordinary

had occurred. She told me of the provoking scene she had just gone

through, and of the brutal threats of her brother. I felt such

indignation, that I wished to proceed at once to avenge her, when she

entreated me with tears to desist.

"While we were still talking of the adventure, the guardsman again

entered the room in which we sat, without even waiting to be announced.

Had I known him, he should not have met from me as civil a reception as

he did; but saluting us with a smile upon his countenance, he addressed

himself to Manon, and said, he was come to make excuses for his

violence; that he had supposed her to be living a life of shame and

disgrace, and it was this notion that excited his rage; but having

since made enquiry from one of our servants, he had learned such a

character of me, that his only wish was now to be on terms with us both.

"Although this admission, of having gone for information to one of my

own servants, had in it something ludicrous as well as indelicate, I

acknowledged his compliments with civility, I thought by doing so to

please Manon, and I was not deceived--she was delighted at the

reconciliation. We made him stay to dine with us.

"In a little time he became so familiar, that hearing us speak of our

return to Chaillot, he insisted on accompanying us. We were obliged to

give him a seat in our carriage. This was in fact putting him into

possession, for he soon began to feel so much pleasure in our company,

that he made our house his home, and made himself in some measure

master of all that belonged to us. He called me his brother, and,

under the semblance of fraternal freedom, he put himself on such a

footing as to introduce all his friends without ceremony into our house

at Chaillot, and there entertain them at our expense. His magnificent

uniforms were procured of my tailor and charged to me, and he even

contrived to make Manon and me responsible for all his debts. I

pretended to be blind to this system of tyranny, rather than annoy

Manon, and even to take no notice of the sums of money which from time

to time he received from her. No doubt, as he played very deep, he was

honest enough to repay her a part sometimes, when luck turned in his

favour; but our finances were utterly inadequate to supply, for any

length of time, demands of such magnitude and frequency.

"I was on the point of coming to an understanding with him, in order to

put an end to the system, when an unfortunate accident saved me that

trouble, by involving us in inextricable ruin.

"One night we stopped in Paris to sleep, as it had now indeed become

our constant habit. The servant-maid who on such occasions remained

alone at Chaillot, came early the next morning to inform me that our

house had taken fire in the night, and that the flames had been

extinguished with great difficulty. I asked whether the furniture had

suffered. She answered, that there had been such confusion, owing to

the multitude of strangers who came to offer assistance, that she could

hardly ascertain what damage had been done. I was principally uneasy

about our money, which had been locked up in a little box. I went off

in haste to Chaillot. Vain hope! the box had disappeared!

"I discovered that one could love money without being a miser. This

loss afflicted me to such a degree that I was almost out of my mind. I

saw at one glance to what new calamities I should be exposed: poverty

was the least of them. I knew Manon thoroughly; I had already had

abundant proof that, although faithful and attached to me under happier

circumstances, she could not be depended upon in want: pleasure and

plenty she loved too well to sacrifice them for my sake. 'I shall lose

her!' I cried; 'miserable chevalier! you are about then to lose all

that you love on earth!' This thought agitated me to such a degree

that I actually for some moments considered whether it would not be

best for me to end at once all my miseries by death. I however

preserved presence of mind enough to reflect whether I was entirely

without resource, and an idea occurred to me which quieted my despair.

It would not be impossible, I thought, to conceal our loss from Manon;

and I might perhaps discover some ways and means of supplying her, so

as to ward off the inconveniences of poverty.

"I had calculated in endeavouring to comfort myself, that twenty

thousand crowns would support us for ten years. Suppose that these ten

years had now elapsed, and that none of the events which I had looked

for in my family had occurred. What then would have been my course? I

hardly know; but whatever I should then have done, why may I not do

now? How many are there in Paris, who have neither my talents, nor the

natural advantages I possess, and who, notwithstanding, owe their

support to the exercise of their talents, such as they are?

"'Has not Providence,' I added, while reflecting on the different

conditions of life, 'arranged things wisely?' The greater number of

the powerful and the rich are fools. No one who knows anything of the

world can doubt that. How admirable is the compensating justice

thereof! If wealth brought with it talent also, the rich would be too

happy, and other men too wretched. To these latter are given personal

advantages and genius, to help them out of misery and want. Some of

them share the riches of the wealthy by administering to their

pleasures, or by making them their dupes; others afford them

instruction, and endeavour to make them decent members of society; to

be sure, they do not always succeed; but that was probably not the

intention of the divine wisdom. In every case they derive a benefit

from their labours by living at the expense of their pupils; and, in

whatever point of view it is considered, the follies of the rich are a

bountiful source of revenue to the humbler classes.

"These thoughts restored me a little to my spirits and to my reason. I

determined first to consult M. Lescaut, the brother of Manon. He knew

Paris perfectly; and I had too many opportunities of learning that it

was neither from his own estates, nor from the king's pay, that he

derived the principal portion of his income. I had about thirty-three

crowns left, which I fortunately happened to have about me. I showed

him my purse, and explained to him my misfortune and my fears, and then

asked him whether I had any alternative between starvation and blowing

out my brains in despair. He coolly replied that suicide was the

resource of fools. As to dying of want, there were hundreds of men of

genius who found themselves reduced to that state when they would not

employ their talents; that it was for myself to discover what I was

capable of doing, and he told me to reckon upon his assistance and his

advice in any enterprise I might undertake.

"'Vague enough, M. Lescaut!' said I to him: 'my wants demand a more

speedy remedy; for what am I to say to Manon?' 'Apropos of Manon,'

replied he, 'what is it that annoys you about her? Cannot you always

find in her wherewithal to meet your wants, when you wish it? Such a

person ought to support us all, you and me as well as herself.' He cut

short the answer which I was about to give to such unfeeling and brutal

impertinence, by going on to say, that before night he would ensure me

a thousand crowns to divide between us, if I would only follow his

advice; that he was acquainted with a nobleman, who was so liberal in

affairs of the kind, that he was certain he would not hesitate for a

moment to give the sum named for the favours of such a girl as Manon.

"I stopped him. 'I had a better opinion of you,' said I; 'I had

imagined that your motive for bestowing your friendship upon me was

very different indeed from the one you now betray.' With the greatest

effrontery he acknowledged that he had been always of the same mind,

and that his sister having once sacrificed her virtue, though it might

be to the man she most loved, he would never have consented to a

reconciliation with her, but with the hope of deriving some advantage

from her past misconduct.

"It was easy to see that we had been hitherto his dupes.

Notwithstanding the disgust with which his proposition inspired me,

still, as I felt that I had occasion for his services, I said, with

apparent complacency, that we ought only to entertain such a plan as a

last resource. I begged of him to suggest some other.

"He proposed to me to turn my youth and the good looks nature had

bestowed upon me to some account, by establishing a liaison with some

generous old dame. This was just as little to my taste, for it would

necessarily have rendered me unfaithful to Manon.

"I mentioned play as the easiest scheme, and the most suitable to my

present situation. He admitted that play certainly was a resource, but

that it was necessary to consider the point well. 'Mere play,' said he,

'with its ordinary chances, is the certain road to ruin; and as for

attempting, alone and without an ally, to employ the little means an

adroit man has for correcting the vagaries of luck, it would be too

dangerous an experiment.' There was, he stated, a third course, which

was to enter into what he called a partnership; but he feared his

confederates would consider my youth an objection to my admittance.

He, however, promised to use his influence with them; and, what was

more than I expected at his hands, he said that he would supply me with

a little money whenever I had pressing occasion for any. The only

favour I then asked of him was to say nothing to Manon of the loss I

had experienced, nor of the subject of our conversation.

"I certainly derived little comfort from my visit to Lescaut; I felt

even sorry for having confided my secret to him: not a single thing had

he done for me that I might not just as well have done for myself,

without troubling him; and I could not help dreading that he would

violate his promise to keep the secret from Manon. I had also reason

to apprehend, from his late avowals, that he might form the design of

making use of her for his own vile purposes, or at least of advising

her to quit me for some happier and more wealthy lover. This idea

brought in its train a thousand reflections, which had no other effect

than to torment me, and throw me again into the state of despair in

which I had passed the morning. It occurred to me, more than once, to

write to my father; and to pretend a new reformation, in order to

obtain some pecuniary assistance from him; but I could not forget that,

notwithstanding all his natural love and affection for me, he had shut

me up for six months in a confined room for my first transgression; and

I was certain that, after the scandalous sensation caused by my flight

from St. Sulpice, he would be sure to treat me with infinitely more

rigour now.

"At length, out of this chaos of fancies came an idea that all at once

restored ease to my mind, and which I was surprised at not having hit

upon sooner; this was, to go again to my friend Tiberge, in whom I

might be always sure of finding the same unfailing zeal and friendship.

There is nothing more glorious--nothing that does more honour to true

virtue, than the confidence with which one approaches a friend of tried

integrity; no apprehension, no risk of unkind repulse: if it be not

always in his power to afford the required succour, one is sure at

least of meeting kindness and compassion. The heart of the poor

supplicant, which remains impenetrably closed to the rest of the world,

opens in his presence, as a flower expands before the orb of day, from

which it instinctively knows it can derive a cheering and benign

influence only.

"I consider it a blessing to have thought so apropos of Tiberge, and

resolved to take measures to find him before evening. I returned at

once to my lodgings to write him a line, and fix a convenient place for

our meeting. I requested secrecy and discretion, as the most important

service he could render me under present circumstances.

"The pleasure I derived from the prospect of seeing Tiberge dissipated

every trace of melancholy, which Manon would not have failed otherwise

to detect in my countenance. I described our misfortune at Chaillot as

a trifle which ought not to annoy her; and Paris being the spot she

liked best in the world, she was not sorry to hear me say that it would

be necessary for us to remain there entirely, until the little damage

was repaired which had been caused by the fire at Chaillot.

"In an hour I received an answer from Tiberge, who promised to be at

the appointed rendezvous. I went there punctually. I certainly felt

some shame at encountering a friend whose presence alone ought to be a

reproach to my iniquities; but I was supported by the opinion I had of

the goodness of his heart, as well as by my anxiety about Manon.

"I had begged of him to meet me in the garden of the Palais Royal. He

was there before me. He hastened towards me, the moment he saw me

approach and shook me warmly by both hands. I said that I could not

help feeling perfectly ashamed to meet him, and that I was weighed down

by a sense of my ingratitude; that the first thing I implored of him

was to tell me whether I might still consider him my friend, after

having so justly incurred the loss of his esteem and affection. He

replied, in the kindest possible manner, that it was not in the nature

of things to destroy his regard for me; that my misfortunes even, or,

if he might so call them, my faults and transgressions, had but

increased the interest he felt for me; but that he must confess his

affection was not unalloyed by a sentiment of the liveliest sorrow,

such as a person may be supposed to feel at seeing a beloved object on

the brink of ruin, and beyond the reach of his assistance.

"We sat down upon a bench. 'Alas!' said I with a deep sigh, 'your

compassion must be indeed great, my dear Tiberge, if you assure me it

is equal to my sufferings. I am almost ashamed to recount them, for I

confess they have been brought on by no very creditable course of

conduct: the results, however, are so truly melancholy, that a friend

even less attached than you would be affected by the recital.'

"He then begged of me, in proof of friendship, to let him know, without

any disguise, all that had occurred to me since my departure from St.

Sulpice. I gratified him; and so far from concealing anything, or

attempting to extenuate my faults, I spoke of my passion with all the

ardour with which it still inspired me. I represented it to him as one

of those especial visitations of fate, which draw on the devoted victim

to his ruin, and which it is as impossible for virtue itself to resist,

as for human wisdom to foresee. I painted to him in the most vivid

colours, my excitement, my fears, the state of despair in which I had

been two hours before I saw him, and into which I should be again

plunged, if I found my friends as relentless as fate had been. I at

length made such an impression upon poor Tiberge, that I saw he was as

much affected by compassion, as I by the recollection of my sufferings.

"He took my hand, and exhorted me to have courage and be comforted;

but, as he seemed to consider it settled that Manon and I were to

separate, I gave him at once to understand that it was that very

separation I considered as the most intolerable of all my misfortunes;

and that I was ready to endure not only the last degree of misery, but

death itself, of the cruellest kind, rather than seek relief in a

remedy worse than the whole accumulation of my woes.

"'Explain yourself, then,' said he to me; 'what assistance can I afford

you, if you reject everything I propose?' I had not courage to tell

him that it was from his purse I wanted relief. He, however,

comprehended it in the end; and acknowledging that he believed he now

understood me, he remained for a moment in an attitude of thought, with

the air of a person revolving something in his mind. 'Do not imagine,'

he presently said, 'that my hesitation arises from any diminution of my

zeal and friendship; but to what an alternative do you now reduce me,

since I must either refuse you the assistance you ask, or violate my

most sacred duty in affording it! For is it not participating in your

sin to furnish you with the means of continuing its indulgence?'

"'However,' continued he, after a moment's thought, 'it is perhaps the

excited state into which want has thrown you, that denies you now the

liberty of choosing the proper path. Man's mind must be at rest, to

know the luxury of wisdom and virtue. I can afford to let you have

some money; and permit me, my dear chevalier, to impose but one

condition; that is, that you let me know the place of your abode, and

allow me the opportunity of using my exertions to reclaim you. I know

that there is in your heart a love of virtue, and that you have been

only led astray by the violence of your passions.'

"I, of course, agreed to everything he asked, and only begged of him to

deplore the malign destiny which rendered me callous to the counsels of

so virtuous a friend. He then took me to a banker of his acquaintance,

who gave one hundred and seventy crowns for his note of hand, which was

taken as cash. I have already said that he was not rich. His living

was worth about six thousand francs a year, but as this was the first

year since his induction, he had as yet touched none of the receipts,

and it was out of the future income that he made me this advance.

"I felt the full force of his generosity, even to such a degree as

almost to deplore the fatal passion which thus led me to break through

all the restraints of duty. Virtue had for a moment the ascendancy in

my heart, and made me sensible of my shame and degradation. But this

was soon over. For Manon I could have given up my hopes of heaven, and

when I again found myself at her side, I wondered how I could for an

instant have considered myself degraded by my passion for this

enchanting girl.

"Manon was a creature of most extraordinary disposition. Never had

mortal a greater contempt for money, and yet she was haunted by

perpetual dread of wanting it. Her only desire was for pleasure and

amusement. She would never have wished to possess a sou, if pleasure

could be procured without money. She never even cared what our purse

contained, provided she could pass the day agreeably; so that, being

neither fond of play nor at all dazzled by the desire of great wealth,

nothing was more easy than to satisfy her, by daily finding out

amusements suited to her moderate wishes. But it became by habit a

thing so absolutely necessary for her to have her mind thus occupied,

that, without it, it was impossible to exercise the smallest influence

over her temper or inclinations. Although she loved me tenderly, and I

was the only person, as she often declared, in whose society she could

ever find the pure enjoyments of love, yet I felt thoroughly convinced

that her attachment could not withstand certain apprehensions. She

would have preferred me, even with a moderate fortune, to the whole

world; but I had no kind of doubt that she would, on the other hand,

abandon me for some new M. de B----, when I had nothing more to offer

her than fidelity and love.

"I resolved therefore so to curtail my own individual expenses, as to

be able always to meet hers, and rather to deprive myself of a thousand

necessaries than even to limit her extravagance. The carriage made me

more uneasy than anything else, for I saw no chance of being able to

maintain either coachman or horses.

"I told M. Lescaut of my difficulties, and did not conceal from him

that I had received a thousand francs from a friend. He repeated, that

if I wished to try the chances of the gaming-table, he was not without

hopes that, by spending a few crowns in entertaining his associates, I

might be, on his recommendation, admitted into the association. With

all my repugnance to cheating, I yielded to dire necessity.

"Lescaut presented me that night as a relation of his own. He added,

that I was the more likely to succeed in my new profession, from

wanting the favours of fortune. However, to show them that I was not

quite reduced to the lowest ebb, he said it was my intention to treat

them with a supper. The offer was accepted, and I entertained them en

prince. They talked a good deal about my fashionable appearance and

the apparent amiability of my disposition; they said that the best

hopes might be entertained of me, because there was something in my

countenance that bespoke the gentleman, and no one therefore could have

a suspicion of my honesty: they voted thanks to Lescaut for having

introduced so promising a novice, and deputed one of the members to

instruct me for some days in the necessary manoeuvres.

"The principal scene of my exploits was the hotel of Transylvania,

where there was a faro table in one room, and other games of cards and

dice in the gallery. This academy was kept by the Prince of R----, who

then lived at Clagny, and most of his officers belonged to our society.

Shall I mention it to my shame? I profited quickly by my instructor's

tuition. I acquired an amazing facility in sleight of hand tricks, and

learned in perfection to sauter le coup; with the help of a pair of

long ruffles, I shuffled so adroitly as to defy the quickest observer,

and I ruined several fair players. My unrivalled skill so quickened

the progress of my fortunes, that I found myself master, in a few

weeks, of very considerable sums, besides what I divided in good faith

with my companions.

"I had no longer any fear of communicating to Manon the extent of our

loss at Chaillot, and, to console her on the announcement of such

disastrous news, I took a furnished house, where we established

ourselves in all the pride of opulence and security.

"Tiberge was in the habit, at this period, of paying me frequent

visits. He was never tired of his moral lectures. Over and over again

did he represent to me the injury I was inflicting upon my conscience,

my honour, and my fortune. I received all his advice kindly, and

although I had not the smallest inclination to adopt it, I had no doubt

of its sincerity, for I knew its source. Sometimes I rallied him

good-humouredly, and entreated him not to be more tight-laced than some

other priests were, and even bishops, who by no means considered a

mistress incompatible with a good and holy life.' 'Look,' I said, 'at

Manon's eyes, and tell me if there is one in the long catalogue of sins

that might not there find a plea of justification.' He bore these

sallies patiently, and carried his forbearance almost too far: but when

he saw my funds increase, and that I had not only returned him the

hundred and seventy crowns, but having hired a new house and trebled my

expenses, I had plunged deeper than ever into a life of pleasure, he

changed his tone and manner towards me. He lamented my obduracy. He

warned me against the chastisement of the Divine wrath, and predicted

some of the miseries with which indeed I was shortly afterwards

visited. 'It is impossible,' he said, 'that the money which now serves

to support your debaucheries can have been acquired honourably. You

have come by it unjustly, and in the same way shall it be taken from

you. The most awful punishment Heaven could inflict would be to allow

you the undisturbed enjoyment of it. All my advice,' he added, 'has

been useless; I too plainly perceive that it will shortly become

troublesome to you. I now take my leave; you are a weak, as well as an

ungrateful friend! May your criminal enjoyments vanish as a shadow!

may your ill-gotten wealth leave you without a resource; and may you

yourself remain alone and deserted, to learn the vanity of these

things, which now divert you from better pursuits! When that time

arrives, you will find me disposed to love and to serve you; this day

ends our intercourse, and I once for all avow my horror of the life you

are leading.'

"It was in my room and in Manon's presence that he delivered this

apostolical harangue. He rose to depart. I was about to detain him;

but was prevented by Manon, who said it was better to let the madman go.

"What he said, however, did not fail to make some impression upon me.

I notice these brief passages of my life when I experienced a returning

sentiment of virtue, because it was to those traces, however light,

that I was afterwards indebted for whatever of fortitude I displayed

under the most trying circumstances.

"Manon's caresses soon dissipated the annoyance this scene had caused

me. We continued to lead a life entirely devoted to pleasure and love.

The increase of our wealth only redoubled our affection. There were none

happier among all the devotees of Venus and Fortune. Heavens! why call

this a world of misery, when it can furnish a life of such rapturous

enjoyment? But alas, it is too soon over! For what ought man to sigh,

could such felicity but last for ever? Ours shared the common fate--in

being of short duration, and followed by lasting regrets.

"I had realised by play such a considerable sum of money, that I

thought of investing a portion of it. My servants were not ignorant of

my good luck, particularly my valet and Manon's own maid, before whom

we often talked without any reserve. The maid was handsome, and my

valet in love with her. They knew they had to deal with a young and

inexperienced couple, whom they fancied they could impose upon without

much difficulty. They laid a plan, and executed it with so much skill,

that they reduced us to a state from which it was never afterwards

possible for us to extricate ourselves.

"Having supped one evening at Lescaut's, it was about midnight when we

returned home. I asked for my valet, and Manon for her maid; neither

one nor the other could be found. They had not been seen in the house

since eight o'clock, and had gone out, after having some cases carried

before them, according to orders which they pretended to have received

from me. I at once foresaw a part of the truth, but my suspicions were

infinitely surpassed by what presented itself on going into my room.

The lock of my closet had been forced, and my cash as well as my best

clothes were gone. While I stood stupefied with amazement, Manon came,

in the greatest alarm, to inform me that her apartment had been rifled

in the same manner.

"This blow was so perfectly astounding, so cruel, that it was with

difficulty I could refrain from tears. The dread of infecting Manon

with my despair made me assume a more contented air. I said, smiling,

that I should avenge myself upon some unhappy dupe at the hotel of

Transylvania. However, she appeared so sensibly affected, that her

grief increased my sorrow infinitely more than my attempt succeeded in

supporting her spirits. 'We are destroyed!' said she, with tears in

her eyes. I endeavoured, in vain, by my entreaties and caresses, to

console her. My own lamentations betrayed my distress and despair. In

fact, we were so completely ruined, that we were bereft almost of

decent covering.

"I determined to send off at once for Lescaut. He advised me to go

immediately to the lieutenant of police, and to give information also

to the Grand Provost of Paris. I went, but it was to add to my

calamities only; for, independently of my visit producing not the

smallest good effect, I, by my absence, allowed Lescaut time for

discussion with his sister, during which he did not fail to inspire her

with the most horrible resolutions. He spoke to her about M. G----

M----, an old voluptuary, who paid prodigally for his pleasures; he so

glowingly described the advantages of such a connection, that she

entered into all his plans. This discreditable arrangement was all

concluded before my return, and the execution of it only postponed till

the next morning, after Lescaut should have apprised G---- M----.

"I found him, on my return, waiting for me at my house; but Manon had

retired to her own apartment, and she had desired the footman to tell

me that, having need of repose, she hoped she should not be disturbed

that night. Lescaut left me, after offering me a few crowns which I

accepted.

"It was nearly four o'clock when I retired to bed; and having revolved

in my mind various schemes for retrieving my fortunes, I fell asleep so

late that I did not awake till between eleven and twelve o'clock. I

rose at once to enquire after Manon's health; they told me that she had

gone out an hour before with her brother, who had come for her in a

hired carriage. Although there appeared something mysterious in such a

proceeding, I endeavoured to check my rising suspicions. I allowed

some hours to pass, during which I amused myself with reading. At

length, being unable any longer to stifle my uneasiness, I paced up and

down the apartments. A sealed letter upon Manon's table at last caught

my eye. It was addressed to me, and in her handwriting. I felt my

blood freeze as I opened it; it was in these words:

I protest to you, dearest chevalier, that you are the idol of my heart,

and that you are the only being on earth whom I can truly love; but do

you not see, my own poor dear chevalier, that in the situation to which

we are now reduced, fidelity would be worse than madness? Do you think

tenderness possibly compatible with starvation? For my part, hunger

would be sure to drive me to some fatal end. Heaving some day a sigh

for love, I should find it was my last. I adore you, rely upon that;

but leave to me, for a short while, the management of our fortunes.

God help the man who falls into my hands. My only wish is to render my

chevalier rich and happy. My brother will tell you about me; he can

vouch for my grief in yielding to the necessity of parting from you.

"I remained, after reading this, in a state which it would be difficult

to describe; for even now I know not the nature of the feelings which

then agitated me. It was one of those unique situations of which

others can never have experienced anything even approaching to

similarity. It is impossible to explain it, because other persons can

have no idea of its nature; and one can hardly even analyse it to

oneself. Memory furnishes nothing that will connect it with the past,

and therefore ordinary language is inadequate to describe it. Whatever

was its nature, however, it is certain that grief, hate, jealousy, and

shame entered into its composition. Fortunate would it have proved for

me if love also had not been a component part!

"'That she loves me,' I exclaimed, 'I can believe; but could she,

without being a monster, hate me? What right can man ever have to

woman's affections which I had not to Manon's? What is left to me,

after all the sacrifices I have made for her sake? Yet she abandons me,

and the ungrateful creature thinks to screen herself from my reproaches

by professions of love! She pretends to dread starvation! God of

love, what grossness of sentiment! What an answer to the refinement of

my adoration! I had no dread of that kind; I, who have almost sought

starvation for her sake, by renouncing fortune and the comforts of my

father's house! I, who denied myself actual necessaries, in order to

gratify her little whims and caprices! She adores me, she says. If

you adored me, ungrateful creature, I well know what course you would

have taken; you would never have quitted me, at least without saying

adieu. It is only I who can tell the pangs and torments, of being

separated from all one loves. I must have taken leave of my senses, to

have voluntarily brought all this misery upon myself.'

"My lamentations were interrupted by a visit I little expected; it was

from Lescaut. 'Assassin!' cried I, putting my hand upon my sword,

'where is Manon? what have you done with her?' My agitation startled

him. He replied, that if this was the reception he was to meet, when

he came to offer me the most essential service it was in his power to

render me, he should take his leave, and never again cross my

threshold. I ran to the door of the apartment, which I shut. 'Do not

imagine,' I said, turning towards him, 'that you can once more make a

dupe of me with your lies and inventions. Either defend your life, or

tell me where I can find Manon.' 'How impatient you are!' replied he;

'that was in reality the object of my visit. I came to announce a

piece of good fortune which you little expected, and for which you will

probably feel somewhat grateful.' My curiosity was at once excited.

"He informed me that Manon, totally unable to endure the dread of want,

and, above all, the certainty of being at once obliged to dispense with

her equipage, had begged of him to make her acquainted with M. G----

M----, who had a character for liberality. He carefully avoided

telling me that this was the result of his own advice, and that he had

prepared the way before he introduced his sister. 'I took her there

this morning,' said he, 'and the fellow was so enchanted with her looks

that he at once invited her to accompany him to his country seat, where

he is gone to pass some days. As I plainly perceived,' said Lescaut,

'the advantage it may be to you, I took care to let him know that she

had lately experienced very considerable losses; and I so piqued his

generosity that he began by giving her four hundred crowns. I told him

that was well enough for a commencement, but that my sister would have,

for the future, many demands for money; that she had the charge of a

young brother, who had been thrown upon her hands since the death of

our parents; and that, if he wished to prove himself worthy of her

affections, he would not allow her to suffer uneasiness upon account of

this child, whom she regarded as part of herself. This speech produced

its effect, he at once promised to take a house for you and Manon, for

you must know that you are the poor little orphan. He undertook to set

you up in furniture, and to give you four hundred livres a month, which

if I calculate rightly, will amount to four thousand eight hundred per

annum. He left orders with his steward to look out for a house, and to

have it in readiness by the time he returned. You will soon,

therefore, again see Manon, who begged of me to give you a thousand

tender messages, and to assure you that she loves you more dearly than

ever.'"

V

Infected with that leprosy of lust,

Which taints the hoariest years of vicious men

Making them ransack to the very last

The dregs of pleasure for their vanished joys.

BYRON.

"On sitting down to reflect upon this strange turn of fate, I found

myself so perplexed, and consequently so incapable of arriving at any

rational conclusion, that I allowed Lescaut to put repeated questions

to me without in the slightest degree attending to their purport. It

was then that honour and virtue made me feel the most poignant remorse,

and that I recalled with bitterness Amiens, my father's house, St.

Sulpice, and every spot where I had ever lived in happy innocence. By

what a terrific interval was I now separated from that blessed state!

I beheld it no longer but as a dim shadow in the distance, still

attracting my regrets and desires, but without the power of rousing me

to exertion. 'By what fatality,' said I, 'have I become thus degraded?

Love is not a guilty passion! why then has it been to me the source of

profligacy and distress? Who prevented me from leading a virtuous and

tranquil life with Manon? Why did I not marry her before I obtained

any concession from her love? Would not my father, who had the

tenderest regard for me, have given his consent, if I had taken the

fair and candid course of soliciting him? Yes, my father would himself

have cherished her as one far too good to be his son's wife! I should

have been happy in the love of Manon, in the affection of my father, in

the esteem of the world, with a moderate portion of the good things of

life, and above all with the consciousness of virtue. Disastrous

change! Into what an infamous character is it here proposed that I

should sink? To share---- But can I hesitate, if Manon herself

suggests it, and if I am to lose her except upon such conditions?

'Lescaut,' said I, putting my hands to my eyes as if to shut out such a

horrifying vision, 'if your intention was to render me a service, I

give you thanks. You might perhaps have struck out a more reputable

course, but it is so settled, is it not? Let us then only think of

profiting by your labour, and fulfilling your engagements.'

"Lescaut, who had been considerably embarrassed, not only by my fury,

but by the long silence which followed it, was too happy to see me now

take a course so different from what he had anticipated. He had not a

particle of courage, of which indeed I have, in the sequel of my story,

abundant proof. 'Yes, yes,' he quickly answered, 'it is good service I

have rendered you, and you will find that we shall derive infinitely

more advantage from it than you now expect.' We consulted then as to

the best mode of preventing the suspicions which G---- M---- might

entertain of our relationship, when he found me older and of riper

manhood than he probably imagined. The only plan we could hit upon was

to assume in his presence an innocent and provincial air, and to

persuade him that it was my intention to enter the Church, and that

with that view I was obliged to go every day to the college. We also

determined that I should appear as awkward as I possibly could the

first time I was admitted to the honour of an introduction.

"He returned to town three or four days after, and at once conducted

Manon to the house which his steward had in the meantime prepared. She

immediately apprised Lescaut of her return, and he having informed me,

we went together to her new abode. The old lover had already gone out.

"In spite of the submission with which I had resigned myself to her

wishes, I could not, at our meeting, repress the compunctious visitings

of my conscience. I appeared before her grieved and dejected. The joy

I felt at seeing her once more could not altogether dispel my sorrow

for her infidelity: she, on the contrary, appeared transported with the

pleasure of seeing me. She accused me of coldness. I could not help

muttering the words perfidious and unfaithful, though they were

profusely mixed with sighs.

"At first she laughed at me for my simplicity; but when she found that

I continued to look at her with an unchanging expression of melancholy,

and that I could not bring myself to enter with alacrity into a scene

so repugnant to all my feelings, she went alone into her boudoir. I

very soon followed her, and then I found her in a flood of tears. I

asked the cause of her sorrow. 'You can easily understand it,' said

she; 'how can you wish me to live, if my presence can no longer have

any other effect than to give you an air of sadness and chagrin? Not

one kiss have you given me during the long hour you have been in the

house, while you have received my caresses with the dignified

indifference of a Grand Turk, receiving the forced homage of the

Sultanas of his harem.'

"'Hearken to me, Manon,' said I, embracing her; 'I cannot conceal from

you that my heart is bitterly afflicted. I do not now allude to the

uneasiness your sudden flight caused me, nor to the unkindness of

quitting me without a word of consolation, after having passed the

night away from me. The pleasure of seeing you again would more than

compensate for all; but do you imagine that I can reflect without sighs

and tears upon the degrading and unhappy life which you now wish me to

lead in this house? Say nothing of my birth, or of my feelings of

honour; love like mine derives no aid from arguments of that feeble

nature; but do you imagine that I can without emotion see my love so

badly recompensed, or rather so cruelly treated, by an ungrateful and

unfeeling mistress?'

"She interrupted me. 'Stop, chevalier,' said she, 'it is useless to

torture me with reproaches, which, coming from you, always pierce my

heart. I see what annoys you. I had hoped that you would have agreed

to the project which I had devised for mending our shattered fortunes,

and it was from a feeling of delicacy to you that I began the execution

of it without your assistance; but I give it up since it does not meet

your approbation.' She added that she would now merely request a

little patient forbearance during the remainder of the day; that she

had already received five hundred crowns from the old gentleman, and

that he had promised to bring her that evening a magnificent pearl

necklace with other jewels, and, in advance, half of the yearly pension

he had engaged to allow her. 'Leave me only time enough,' said she to

me, to get possession of these presents; I promise you that he will

have little to boast of from his connection with me, for in the country

I repulsed all his advances, putting him off till our return to town.

It is true that he has kissed my hand a thousand times over, and it is

but just that he should pay for even this amusement: I am sure that,

considering his riches as well as his age, five or six thousand francs

is not an unreasonable price!'

"Her determination was of more value in my eyes than twenty thousand

crowns. I could feel that I was not yet bereft of every sentiment of

honour, by the satisfaction I experienced at escaping thus from infamy.

But I was born for brief joys, and miseries of long duration. Fate

never rescued me from one precipice, but to lead me to another. When I

had expressed my delight to Manon at this change in her intentions, I

told her she had better inform Lescaut of it, in order that we might

take our measures in concert. At first he murmured, but the money in

hand induced him to enter into our views. It was then determined that

we should all meet at G---- M----'s supper table, and that, for two

reasons: first, for the amusement of passing me off as a schoolboy, and

brother to Manon; and secondly, to prevent the old profligate from

taking any liberties with his mistress, on the strength of his liberal

payments in advance. Lescaut and I were to retire, when he went to the

room where he expected to pass the night; and Manon, instead of

following him, promised to come out, and join us. Lescaut undertook to

have a coach waiting at the door.

"The supper hour having arrived, M. G---- M---- made his appearance.

Already Lescaut was with his sister in the supper room. The moment the

lover entered, he presented his fair one with a complete set of pearls,

necklaces, ear-rings, and bracelets, which must have cost at least a

thousand crowns. He then placed on the table before her, in louis

d'or, two thousand four hundred francs, the half of her year's

allowance. He seasoned his present with many pretty speeches in the

true style of the old court. Manon could not refuse him a few kisses:

it was sealing her right to the money which he had just handed to her.

I was at the door, and waiting for Lescaut's signal to enter the room.

"He approached to take me by the hand, while Manon was securing the

money and jewels, and leading me towards M. G---- M----, he desired me

to make my bow. I made two or three most profound ones. 'Pray excuse

him, sir,' said Lescaut, 'he is a mere child. He has not yet acquired

much of the ton of Paris; but no doubt with a little trouble we shall

improve him. You will often have the honour of seeing that gentleman,

here,' said he, turning towards me: 'take advantage of it, and

endeavour to imitate so good a model.'

"The old libertine appeared to be pleased with me. He patted me on the

cheek, saying that I was a fine boy, but that I should be on my guard

in Paris, where young men were easily debauched. Lescaut assured him

that I was naturally of so grave a character that I thought of nothing

but becoming a clergyman, and that, even as a child, my favourite

amusement was building little chapels. 'I fancy a likeness to Manon,'

said the old gentleman, putting his hand under my chin. I answered

him, with the most simple air-- 'Sir, the fact is, that we are very

closely connected, and I love my sister as another portion of myself.'

'Do you hear that,' said he to Lescaut; 'he is indeed a clever boy! It

is a pity he should not see something of the world.' 'Oh, sir,' I

replied, 'I have seen a great deal of it at home, attending church, and

I believe I might find in Paris some greater fools than myself.'

'Listen,' said he; 'it is positively wonderful in a boy from the

country.'

"The whole conversation during supper was of the same kind. Manon, with

her usual gaiety, was several times on the point of spoiling the joke

by her bursts of laughter. I contrived, while eating, to recount his

own identical history, and to paint even the fate that awaited him.

Lescaut and Manon were in an agony of fear during my recital,

especially while I was drawing his portrait to the life: but his own

vanity prevented him from recognising it, and I did it so well that he

was the first to pronounce it extremely laughable. You will allow that

I had reason for dwelling on this ridiculous scene.

"At length it was time to retire. He hinted at the impatience of love.

Lescaut and I took our departure. G---- M---- went to his room, and

Manon, making some excuse for her absence, came to join us at the gate.

The coach, that was waiting for us a few doors off, drove up towards

us, and we were out of the street in an instant.

"Although I must confess that this proceeding appeared to me little

short of actual robbery, it was not the most dishonest one with which I

thought I had to reproach myself. I had more scruples about the money

which I had won at play. However, we derived as little advantage from

one as from the other; and Heaven sometimes ordains that the lightest

fault shall meet the severest punishment.

"M. G---- M---- was not long in finding out that he had been duped. I

am not sure whether he took any steps that night to discover us, but he

had influence enough to ensure an effectual pursuit, and we were

sufficiently imprudent to rely upon the extent of Paris and the

distance between our residence and his. Not only did he discover our

abode and our circumstances, but also who I was--the life that I had

led in Paris--Manon's former connection with B----,--the manner in

which she had deceived him: in a word, all the scandalous facts of our

history. He therefore resolved to have us apprehended, and treated

less as criminals than as vagabonds. An officer came abruptly one

morning into our bedroom, with half a dozen archers of the guard. They

first took possession of our money, or I should rather say, of

G----M----'s. They made us quickly get up, and conducted us to the

door, where we found two coaches, into one of which they forced poor

Manon, without any explanation, and I was taken in the other to St.

Lazare.

"One must have experienced this kind of reverse, to understand the

despair that is caused by it. The police were savage enough to deny me

the consolation of embracing Manon, or of bidding her farewell. I

remained for a long time ignorant of her fate. It was perhaps

fortunate for me that I was kept in a state of ignorance, for had I

known what she suffered, I should have lost my senses, probably my life.

"My unhappy mistress was dragged then from my presence, and taken to a

place the very name of which fills me with horror to remember. This to

be the lot of a creature the most perfect, who must have shared the

most splendid throne on earth, if other men had only seen and felt as I

did! She was not treated harshly there, but was shut up in a narrow

prison, and obliged, in solitary confinement, to perform a certain

quantity of work each day, as a necessary condition for obtaining the

most unpalatable food. I did not learn this till a long time after,

when I had myself endured some months of rough and cruel treatment.

"My guards not having told me where it was that they had been ordered

to conduct me, it was only on my arrival at St. Lazare that I learned

my destination. I would have preferred death, at that moment, to the

state into which I believed myself about to be thrown. I had the

utmost terror of this place. My misery was increased by the guards on

my entrance, examining once more my pockets, to ascertain whether I had

about me any arms or weapons of defence.

"The governor appeared. He had been informed of my apprehension. He

saluted me with great mildness. 'Do not, my good sir,' said I to him,

'allow me to be treated with indignity. I would suffer a hundred deaths

rather than quietly submit to degrading treatment.' 'No, no,' he

replied, 'you will act quietly and prudently, and we shall be mutually

content with each other.' He begged of me to ascend to one of the

highest rooms; I followed him without a murmur. The archers

accompanied us to the door, and the governor, entering the room, made a

sign for them to depart. 'I am your prisoner, I suppose?' said I;

'well, what do you intend to do with me?' He said, he was delighted to

see me adopt so reasonable a tone; that it would be his duty to

endeavour to inspire me with a taste for virtue and religion, and mine

to profit by his exhortations and advice: that lightly as I might be

disposed to rate his attentions to me, I should find nothing but

enjoyment in my solitude. 'Ah, enjoyment, indeed!' replied I; 'you do

not know, my good sir, the only thing on earth that could afford me

enjoyment.' 'I know it,' said he, 'but I trust your inclinations will

change.' His answer showed that he had heard of my adventures, and

perhaps of my name. I begged to know if such were the fact. He told

me candidly that they had informed him of every particular.

"This blow was the severest of any I had yet experienced. I literally

shed a torrent of tears, in all the bitterness of unmixed despair; I

could not reconcile myself to the humiliation which would make me a

proverb to all my acquaintances, and the disgrace of my family. I

passed a week in the most profound dejection, without being capable of

gaining any information, or of occupying myself with anything but my

own degradation. The remembrance even of Manon added nothing to my

grief; it only occurred to me as a circumstance that had preceded my

new sorrow; and the sense of shame and confusion was at present the

all-absorbing passion.

"There are few persons who have experienced the force of these special

workings of the mind. The generality of men are only sensible of five

or six passions, in the limited round of which they pass their lives,

and within which all their agitations are confined. Remove them from

the influence of love and hate, pleasure and pain, hope and fear, and

they have no further feeling. But persons of a finer cast can be

affected in a thousand different ways; it would almost seem that they

had more than five senses, and that they are accessible to ideas and

sensations which far exceed the ordinary faculties of human nature;

and, conscious that they possess a capacity which raises them above the

common herd, there is nothing of which they are more jealous. Hence

springs their impatience under contempt and ridicule; and hence it is

that a sense of debasement is perhaps the most violent of all their

emotions.

"I had this melancholy advantage at St. Lazare. My grief appeared to

the governor so excessive, that, dreading the consequences, he thought

he was bound to treat me with more mildness and indulgence. He visited

me two or three times a day; he often made me take a turn with him in

the garden, and showed his interest for me in his exhortations and good

advice. I listened always attentively; and warmly expressed my sense

of his kindness, from which he derived hopes of my ultimate conversion.

"'You appear to me,' said he one day, 'of a disposition so mild and

tractable, that I cannot comprehend the excesses into which you have

fallen. Two things astonish me: one is, how, with your good qualities,

you could have ever abandoned yourself to vice; and the other, which

amazes me still more, is, how you can receive with such perfect temper

my advice and instructions, after having lived so long in a course of

debauchery. If it be sincere repentance, you present a singular

example of the benign mercy of Heaven; if it proceed from the natural

goodness of your disposition, then you certainly have that within you

which warrants the hope that a protracted residence in this place will

not be required to bring you back to a regular and respectable life.'

"I was delighted to find that he had such an opinion of me. I resolved

to strengthen it by a continuance of good conduct, convinced that it

was the surest means of abridging the term of my confinement. I begged

of him to furnish me with books. He was agreeably surprised to find

that when he requested me to say what I should prefer, I mentioned only

some religious and instructive works. I pretended to devote myself

assiduously to study, and I thus gave him convincing proof of the moral

reformation he was so anxious to bring about. It was nothing, however,

but rank hypocrisy--I blush to confess it. Instead of studying, when

alone I did nothing but curse my destiny. I lavished the bitterest

execrations on my prison, and the tyrants who detained me there. If I

ceased for a moment from these lamentations, it was only to relapse

into the tormenting remembrance of my fatal and unhappy love. Manon's

absence--the mystery in which her fate was veiled--the dread of never

again beholding her; these formed the subject of my melancholy

thoughts. I fancied her in the arms of G---- M----. Far from

imagining that he could have been brute enough to subject her to the

same treatment to which I was condemned, I felt persuaded that he had

only procured my removal, in order that he might possess her in

undisturbed enjoyment.

"Oh! how miserable were the days and nights I thus passed! They seemed

to be of endless duration. My only hope of escape now, was in

hypocrisy; I scrutinised the countenance, and carefully marked every

observation that fell from the governor, in order to ascertain what he

really thought of me; and looking on him as the sole arbiter of my

future fate, I made it my study to win, if possible, his favour. I

soon had the satisfaction to find that I was firmly established in his

good graces, and no longer doubted his disposition to befriend me.

"I, one day, ventured to ask him whether my liberation depended on him.

He replied that it was not altogether in his hands, but that he had no

doubt that on his representation M. G---- M----, at whose instance the

lieutenant-general of police had ordered me to be confined, would

consent to my being set at liberty. 'May I flatter myself,' rejoined

I, in the mildest tone, 'that he will consider two months, which I have

now spent in this prison, as a sufficient atonement?' He offered to

speak to him, if I wished it. I implored him without delay to do me

that favour.

"He told me two days afterwards that G---- M---- was so sensibly

affected by what he had heard, that he not only was ready to consent to

my liberation, but that he had even expressed a strong desire to become

better acquainted with me, and that he himself purposed to pay me a

visit in prison. Although his presence could not afford me much

pleasure, I looked upon it as a certain prelude to my liberation.

"He accordingly came to St. Lazare. I met him with an air more grave

and certainly less silly than I had exhibited at his house with Manon.

He spoke reasonably enough of my former bad conduct. He added, as if to

excuse his own delinquencies, that it was graciously permitted to the

weakness of man to indulge in certain pleasures, almost, indeed,

prompted by nature, but that dishonesty and such shameful practices

ought to be, and always would be, inexorably punished.

"I listened to all he said with an air of submission, which quite

charmed him. I betrayed no symptoms of annoyance even at some jokes in

which he indulged about my relationship with Manon and Lescaut, and

about the little chapels of which he supposed I must have had time to

erect a great many in St. Lazare, as I was so fond of that occupation.

But he happened, unluckily both for me and for himself, to add, that he

hoped Manon had also employed herself in the same edifying manner at

the Magdalen. Notwithstanding the thrill of horror I felt at the sound

of the name, I had still presence of mind enough to beg, in the

gentlest manner, that he would explain himself. 'Oh! yes,' he replied,

'she has been these last two months at the Magdalen learning to be

prudent, and I trust she has improved herself as much there, as you

have done at St. Lazare!'

"If an eternal imprisonment, or death itself, had been presented to my

view, I could not have restrained the excitement into which this

afflicting announcement threw me. I flung myself upon him in so

violent a rage that half my strength was exhausted by the effort. I

had, however, more than enough left to drag him to the ground, and

grasp him by the throat. I should infallibly have strangled him, if

his fall, and the half-stifled cries which he had still the power to

utter, had not attracted the governor and several of the priests to my

room. They rescued him from my fury.

"I was, myself, breathless and almost impotent from rage. 'Oh God!' I

cried--'Heavenly justice! Must I survive this infamy?' I tried again

to seize the barbarian who had thus roused my indignation--they

prevented me. My despair--my cries--my tears, exceeded all belief: I

raved in so incoherent a manner that all the bystanders, who were

ignorant of the cause, looked at each other with as much dread as

surprise.

"G---- M---- in the meantime adjusted his wig and cravat, and in his

anger at having been so ill-treated, ordered me to be kept under more

severe restraint than before, and to be punished in the manner usual

with offenders in St. Lazare. 'No, sir!' said the governor, 'it is not

with a person of his birth that we are in the habit of using such means

of coercion; besides, he is habitually so mild and well-conducted, that

I cannot but think you must have given provocation for such excessive

violence.' This reply disconcerted G---- M---- beyond measure and he

went away, declaring that he knew how to be revenged on the governor,

as well as on me, and everyone else who dared to thwart him.

"The Superior, having ordered some of the brotherhood to escort him out

of the prison, remained alone with me. He conjured me to tell him at

once what was the cause of the fracas.--'Oh, my good sir!' said I to

him, continuing to cry like a child, 'imagine the most horrible

cruelty, figure to yourself the most inhuman of atrocities--that is

what G---- M---- has had the cowardly baseness to perpetrate: he has

pierced my heart. Never shall I recover from this blow! I would

gladly tell you the whole circumstance,' added I, sobbing with grief;

'you are kind-hearted, and cannot fail to pity me.'

"I gave him, as briefly as I could, a history of my long-standing and

insurmountable passion for Manon, of the flourishing condition of our

fortunes previous to the robbery committed by our servants, of the

offers which G---- M---- had made to my mistress, of the understanding

they had come to, and the manner in which it had been defeated. To be

sure, I represented things to him in as favourable a light for us as

possible. 'Now you can comprehend,' continued I, 'the source of M.

G---- M----'s holy zeal for my conversion. He has had influence enough

to have me shut up here, out of mere revenge. That I can pardon; but,

my good sir, that is not all. He has taken from me my heart's blood:

he has had Manon shamefully incarcerated in the Magdalen; and had the

effrontery to announce it to me this day with his own lips. In the

Magdalen, good sir! Oh heavens! my adorable mistress, my beloved Manon,

a degraded inmate of the Hospital! How shall I command strength of

mind enough to survive this grief and shame!'

"The good Father, seeing me in such affliction, endeavoured to console

me. He told me that he had never understood my history, as I just now

related it; he had of course known that I led a dissolute life, but he

had imagined that M. G---- M----'s interest about me was the result of

his esteem and friendship for my family; that it was in this sense he

had explained the matter to him; that what I had now told him should

assuredly produce a change in my treatment, and that he had no doubt

but the accurate detail which he should immediately transmit to the

lieutenant-general of police would bring about my liberation.

"He then enquired why I had never thought of informing my family of

what had taken place, since they had not been instrumental to my

incarceration. I satisfactorily answered this by stating my

unwillingness to cause my father pain, or to bring upon myself the

humiliation of such an exposure. In the end, he promised to go

directly to the lieutenant-general of police if it were only, said he,

to be beforehand with M. G---- M----, who went off in such a rage, and

who had sufficient influence to make himself formidable.

"I looked for the good Father's return with all the suspense of a man

expecting sentence of death. It was torture to me to think of Manon at

the Magdalen. Besides the infamy of such a prison, I knew not how she

might be treated there; and the recollection of some particulars I had

formerly heard of this horrible place, incessantly renewed my misery.

Cost what it might, I was so bent upon relieving her by some means or

other, that I should assuredly have set fire to St. Lazare, if no other

mode of escape had presented itself.

"I considered what chances would remain to me if the lieutenant-general

still kept me in confinement. I taxed my ingenuity: I scanned every

imaginable gleam of hope--I could discover nothing that gave me any

prospect of escape, and I feared that I should experience only more

rigid confinement, if I made an unsuccessful attempt. I thought of

some friends from whom I might hope for aid, but then, how was I to

make them aware of my situation? At length I fancied that I had hit

upon a plan so ingenious, as to offer a fair probability of success. I

postponed the details of its arrangement until after the Superior's

return, in case of his having failed in the object of his visit.

"He soon arrived: I did not observe upon his countenance any of those

marks of joy that indicate good news. 'I have spoken,' said he, 'to

the lieutenant-general of police, but I was too late, M. G---- M----

went straight to him after quitting us, and so prejudiced him against

you, that he was on the point of sending me fresh instructions to

subject you to closer confinement.

"'However, when I let him know the truth of your story, he reconsidered

the matter, and, smiling at the incontinence of old G---- M----, he

said it would be necessary to keep you here for six months longer, in

order to pacify him; the less to be lamented,' he added, 'because your

morals would be sure to benefit by your residence here. He desired

that I would show you every kindness and attention, and I need not

assure you that you shall have no reason to complain of your treatment.'

"This speech of the Superior's was long enough to afford me time to

form a prudent resolution. I saw that by betraying too strong an

impatience for my liberty, I should probably be upsetting all my

projects. I acknowledged to him, that, as it was necessary to me to

remain, it was an infinite comfort to know that I possessed a place in

his esteem. I then requested, and with unaffected sincerity, a favour,

which could be of no consequence to others, and which would contribute

much to my peace of mind; it was to inform a friend of mine, a devout

clergyman, who lived at St. Sulpice, that I was at St. Lazare, and to

permit me occasionally to receive his visits.

"This was of course my friend Tiberge; not that I could hope from him

the assistance necessary for effecting my liberty; but I wished to make

him the unconscious instrument of my designs. In a word, this was my

project: I wished to write to Lescaut, and to charge him and our common

friends with the task of my deliverance. The first difficulty was to

have my letter conveyed to him: this should be Tiberge's office.

However, as he knew him to be Manon's brother, I doubted whether he

would take charge of this commission. My plan was to enclose my letter

to Lescaut in another to some respectable man of my acquaintance,

begging of him to transmit the first to its address without delay; and

as it was necessary that I should have personal communication with

Lescaut, in order to arrange our proceedings, I told him to call on me

at St. Lazare, and assume the name of my eldest brother, as if he had

come to Paris expressly to see me. I postponed till our meeting all

mention of the safest and most expeditious course I intended to suggest

for our future conduct. The governor informed Tiberge of my wish to

see him. This ever-faithful friend had not so entirely lost sight of

me as to be ignorant of my present abode, and it is probable that, in

his heart, he did not regret the circumstance, from an idea that it

might furnish the means of my moral regeneration. He lost no time in

paying me the desired visit."