The comet is a kind of astronomical parody on the planet. Comets look some
like planets, but they are thinner and do not hurt so hard when they hit
anybody as a planet does. The comet was so called because it had hair on
it, I believe, but late years the bald-headed comet is giving just as good
satisfaction everywhere.
The characteristic features of a comet are: A nucleus, a nebulous light or
coma, and usually a luminous train or tail worn high. Sometimes several
tails are observed on one comet, but this occurs only in flush times.
When I was young I used to think I would like to be a comet in the sky, up
above the world so high, with nothing to do but loaf around and play with
the little new-laid planets and have a good time, but now I can see where
I was wrong. Comets also have their troubles, their perihilions, their
hyperbolas and their parabolas. A little over 300 years ago Tycho Brahe
discovered that comets were extraneous to our atmosphere, and since then
times have improved. I can see that trade is steadier and potatoes run
less to tows than they did before.
Soon after that they discovered that comets all had more or less
periodicity. Nobody knows how they got it. All the astronomers had been
watching them day and night and didn't know when they were exposed, but
there was no time to talk and argue over the question. There were two or
three hundred comets all down with it at once. It was an exciting time.
Comets sometimes live to a great age. This shows that the night air is not
so injurious to the health as many people would have us believe. The great
comet of 1780 is supposed to have been the one that was noticed about the
time of Caesar's death, 44 B.C., and still, when it appeared in Newton's
time, seventeen hundred years after its first grand farewell tour, Ike
said that it was very well preserved, indeed, and seemed to have retained
all its faculties in good shape.
Astronomers say that the tails of all comets are turned from the sun. I do
not know why they do this, whether it is etiquette among them or just a
mere habit.
A later writer on astronomy said that the substance of the nebulosity and
the tail is of almost inconceivable tenuity. He said this and then death
came to his relief. Another writer says of the comet and its tail that
“the curvature of the latter and the acceleration of the periodic time in
the case of Encke's comet indicate their being affected by a resisting
medium which has never been observed to have the slightest influence on
the planetary periods.”
I do not fully agree with the eminent authority, though he may be right.
Much fear has been the result of the comet's appearance ever since the
world began, and it is as good a thing to worry about as anything I know
of. If we could get close to a comet without frightening it away, we would
find that we could walk through it anywhere as we could through the glare
of a torchlight procession. We should so live that we will not be ashamed
to look a comet in the eye, however. Let us pay up our newspaper
subscription and lead such lives that when the comet strikes we will be
ready.
[Illustration: TYCHO BRAHE AT WORK.]
Some worry a good deal about the chances for a big comet to plow into the
sun some dark, rainy night, and thus bust up the whole universe. I wish
that was all I had to worry about. If any respectable man will agree to
pay my taxes and funeral expenses, I will agree to do his worrying about
the comet's crashing into the bosom of the sun and knocking its daylights
out.