ALLY’S SECRET.
As a matter of fact she did not keep it at all.
The others were very anxious, lost in their thoughts, their minds all
quivering with anxiety and hope and fear, but still there were moments
when the tension relaxed a little. It was very highly strung at first
while the excitement of Rochford’s departure and of Sir Edward’s
encounter with him was still in the air, but by degrees this died away,
and a sense of increased serenity, of greater hope, released their souls
from that bondage. Lady Penton after a long silence began again to talk
a little about the new house.
“I don’t know what we can do with these poor old things in Penton,” she
said; “such a beautiful house as it is, everybody says, and so many
pretty things in it: and all we have is so shabby. Ally, you are the
only one that has seen it.”
“Yes, mother,” said Ally, waking up as from a dream.
“What do you think, my dear? you ought to be able to tell me. I suppose
there is scarcely a room in the house so small as this?”
“I--don’t think I paid any attention.”
“No attention!--to a house which was to be our own house.”
“But no one thought then it was to be our own house,” cried Anne, coming
to the rescue. “And you know Ally did not enjoy it, mother.”
“Oh, yes,” cried Ally, suddenly waking up, feeling once more the
brightness of pleasure that had come with the sight of _him_; how he had
found her neglected and made a princess of her, a little queen! Was it
possible that she could ever have forgotten that?
“Well, not at first,” said Anne; “you didn’t like Cousin Alicia, which I
don’t wonder at. Mab didn’t like her either. Mother, if Mab comes back
and insists on coming to live with us, what shall you do?”
“I wish you would not be so nonsensical,” said Lady Penton, with a
little vexation, “when I was talking of the furniture. Why should
Mab--” she paused a moment, struck by a recollection, and then wound up
with a sigh and a shake of her head. “Why should not Walter have a try?”
The words came back to her mind vaguely, just clear enough to arouse a
keener consciousness of the prevailing subject which her mind had put
aside for the moment. Ah! poor Wat! poor Wat! how could his mother think
or speak of anything while his fate hung in the balance? But then she
reflected on the new agent who had been sent out into the world in
search of him, a young man who knew the ways of young men. This
reflection gave her more comfort than anything. She clung to the idea
that young men spoke a language of their own among themselves, and that
only they understood each other’s way. She resumed with another sigh.
“I don’t suppose we have anything in our possession that is fit to be
put into the drawing-room, Ally. I remember it in old days, the very few
times I ever was there: but they say it is far more splendid now than it
was before. Do you think that chiffonier would do?” The chiffonier had
been the pride of Lady Penton’s heart. It was inlaid, and had a
plate-glass back. She looked at it fondly where it stood, not very
brilliant in fact, but making the shabby things around look a little
more shabby. She had always felt it was thrown away amid these
surroundings, and that to see it in a higher and better sphere would be
sweet and consolatory; but Lady Penton was aware that taste had changed
greatly since that article was constructed, and that perhaps the
decorations of the great drawing-room at Penton might be out of harmony
with a _meuble_ belonging to another generation, however beautiful it
might be in itself.
“I--don’t know,” said Ally, looking at the well-known article with her
dreamy eyes; “there was nothing like it--I think: I didn’t notice--”
“You don’t seem to have noticed anything, my dear,” her mother said.
Oh, if Ally could but say what it was that had been most delightful to
her at Penton! But then she remembered with overpowering shame how she
had shrunk from the ladies who had been so good to her; how she had felt
the elation of her new superiority; how she had been a snob in all the
horror of the word. And she was silent, crushed by remorse and
confusion. Fortunately Lady Penton’s mind was taken up by other things.
“I think,” she said, “the chiffonier will do. It is large, too large,
for this little room; it will fill one side of the wall very nicely. And
perhaps some of the chairs, if they are newly covered; but as for
curtains and carpets and all that, everything must be new. It is
dreadful to think of the expense. I don’t know how we are ever to meet
it. Ally, what sort of carpets are there now? Oh, no doubt beautiful
Persian rugs and that sort of thing--simple Brussels would not do. Is it
a polished floor with rugs, or is it one of those great carpets woven in
one piece, or is it--My dear, what’s the matter? There is no need to
cry.”
“I--don’t remember--it is so stupid of me,” said Ally, with the tears in
her eyes.
“You are nervous and upset this morning; but we must all try and take a
little courage. I have great confidence in Mr. Rochford--oh, great
confidence! He is very kind and so trustworthy. You can see that only to
look into those nice kind eyes.”
“Oh, mother dear!” cried Ally, flinging her arms about Lady Penton’s
neck, giving her a sudden kiss. And then the girl slid away, flying
upstairs as soon as she was safely out of sight, to cry with happiness
in her own room where nobody could see.
“There is something the matter with Ally this morning,” said her mother;
“she is not like herself.”
“She is not at all like herself,” said Anne, with a little pursing up of
her lips, as one who should say, “I could an I would.”
“What do you think it is, Anne? Do you know of anything?”
“I don’t know,” said Anne, “but I guess. Mother--I think it’s Mr.
Rochford.”
“Mr. Rochford!” Lady Penton replied; and then in a moment the whole
passed before her like a panorama. How could she have been so dull? It
had occurred to her as possible before old Sir Walter’s death, and she
had not been displeased. Now things were different; but still--“What
will your father say?” she exclaimed. “Oh, I am afraid I have been
neglecting Ally thinking of her brother. What will your father say?”
“If that sort of thing is going to be,” said Anne, sententiously, “do
you think anything can stop it, mother? I have always heard that the
more you interfere the stronger it becomes. It has to be if it’s going
to be.”
Lady Penton did not make any reply to this wisdom, but she was greatly
moved. First Walter and then Ally! The children become independent
actors in life, choosing their own parts for good, or, alas! perhaps for
evil. She stole upstairs after a little interval and softly opened the
door of Ally’s room, where the girl was sitting half crying, smiling,
lost in the haze of novelty and happiness: her mother looked at her for
a moment before she said anything to make her presence known. Ah, yes,
it was very clear Ally had escaped, she had gone away from the household
in which she was born, the cares and concerns of which had hitherto been
all the world to her, into another sphere, a different place, a little
universe of her own, peopled but by the two, the beginners of a new
world. Lady Penton stood unseen, contemplating the girl’s dreamy
countenance, so abstracted from all about her with a complication of new
and strange emotions. Her little girl! but now separate, having taken
the turn that made her life a thing apart from father and mother. The
child! who had in a moment become a woman, an individual with her fate
and future all her own. The interest of it, the pride of it, in some
respects the pity of it, touches every maturer soul at such a sight--but
when it is a woman looking at her own little girl! She came into the
room very softly and sat down beside Ally upon the little white bed and
put her tender arms about the young creature in her trance; and Ally,
with one low cry, “Mother!” flung herself upon the breast which had
always been her shelter. And there was an end of the secret--so far as
such a secret can be told. The mother did not want any telling, she
understood it all. But, notwithstanding her sympathy for her child, and
her agreement in Anne’s inspiration and conviction that such a thing
_has_ to be if it is going to be, she kept reflecting to herself, “What
will her father say?” all the time in her heart.
This was destined to be a day of excitement in many ways. Just before
the family meal (which Lady Penton, with a sense of all the changes now
surging upward in their family life, had begun to speak of with a little
timidity as “the children’s dinner”) one of the Penton carriages came
to the door, and Mab burst in, all smiles and delight. “Am I in time for
dinner?” she said. “Oh, Lady Penton, you will let me come to dinner? May
I send the carriage away and tell them to come back for me? When must
they come back for me? Oh, if you only knew how I should like to stay.”
It was very difficult for these kind people to resist the fervor of this
petition. “My dear, of course we are very glad to have you,” Lady Penton
said, with a little hesitation. And Mab plunged into the midst of the
children with cries of delight on both sides. Horry possessed himself at
once of her hand, and found her a chair close to his own, and even
little Molly waved her spoon in the stranger’s honor, and changed her
little song to “Mady, Mady,” instead of the “Fader, fader!” which was
the sweetest of dinner-bells to Sir Edward’s ears. When dinner was over,
Mab got Lady Penton into a corner and poured forth her petition. “Oh,
may I come and stay! Uncle Russell is going away, and Aunt Alicia is not
at all fond of me. She would not like it if I went with them, and where
can I go? My relations are none of them so nice as you. You took me in
out of kindness when I didn’t know where to go. I have a lot of money,
Lady Penton, they say, but I am a poor little orphan girl all the same.”
“Oh, my dear,” said Lady Penton, “nobody could be more sorry than I am;
and a lot of money does not do very much good to a little girl who is
alone. But, Mab, I have so many to think of: and we have not a lot of
money, and we have to live accordingly. Though Sir Edward has Penton
now, that does not make things better, it rather make them worse. Even
in Penton we shall live very simply, perhaps poorly. We can not give you
society and pleasures like your other friends.”
“But I don’t want society and pleasure. Pleasure! I should like to take
care of Molly, and make her things and teach her her letters. I should;
she is the dearest little darling that ever was. I should like to run
about with the boys. Horry and I are great friends, oh, great friends,
Lady Penton. At Penton you will have hundreds of rooms; you can’t say it
is not big enough. Oh, let me come! Oh, let me come! And then my
money--” But here Mab judiciously stopped, seeing no room for any
consideration about her money. “You wouldn’t turn me from the door if I
was a beggar, a little orphan,” she cried.
“Oh, my dear! No, indeed, I hope not; but this is very different. Mab,
though I am not much set upon money (but I am afraid I am too, for
nothing will go without it), yet a rich girl is very different from a
poor girl. You know that as well as I.”
“The poor girl is much better off,” cried Mab, “for people are kind to
her; they take her in, they let her stay, they are always contriving to
make her feel at home; but the wretched little rich one is put to the
door. People say, ‘Oh, we are always glad to see you;’ but they are not,
Lady Penton! They think, here she comes with her money. As if I cared
about my money! Take me for Molly’s nurse or her governess. Ally will be
going and marrying--”
“What do you know about that?” Lady Penton said, grasping her arm.
“I! I don’t know anything about it; but of course she will, and so will
Anne; and it might happen that you would be glad to have me, just to
look after the children a little after the weddings were over, and help
you with Molly. Oh, you might, Lady Penton, it is quite possible; and
then you would find out that I am not a little good-for-nothing. I
believe I am really clever with children,” Mab cried, flinging herself
down on her knees, putting her arms about Lady Penton’s waist. “Oh, say
that I may stay.”
When she had thus flung herself upon Lady Penton’s lap, Mab suddenly
raised her round rosy cheek to the pale one that bent over her. They
were by themselves in a corner of the drawing-room, and nobody was near.
She said in a whisper, close to the other’s ear, “I saw Mr. Penton in
town yesterday. He was looking quite well, but sad. I was--oh, very
impertinent, Lady Penton. Forgive me. I stopped the carriage, though I
am sure he did not want to speak to me. I told him that you were
not--quite well--that you were so pale--and that everybody missed him
so. Don’t be angry! I was very impertinent, Lady Penton. And he said he
was going home directly--directly, that was what he said. I said you
would be sure not to tell him in your letters that you were feeling ill,
but that you were. And so you are, Lady Penton; you are so pale. But he
is coming directly, that was what he said.”
“Oh, my little Mab!” Lady Penton cried. She gave the little girl a
sudden kiss, then put her hands with a soft resoluteness upon Mab’s arms
and loosed their clasp. It was as if the girl had pushed open for a
moment a door which closed upon her again the next. “Yes,” she said, “my
son is coming home. He has stayed a little longer than we expected, but
you should not have tried to frighten him about his mother. I am not
ill. If he comes rushing back before his business is done, because you
have frightened him about me, what shall we do to you, you little
prophet of evil?” She stooped again and kissed the girl, giving her a
smile as well. But then she rose from her seat. “As soon as we get in to
Penton you must come and pay us a long visit,” she said.
And this made an end of Mab’s attempt to interfere in the affairs of the
family of which she was so anxious to become a member. She went away to
the children with her head hanging, and in a somewhat disconsolate
condition. But, being seized upon by Horry, who had a great manufacture
of boats on hand, and wanted some one to make the sails for him, soon
forgot, or seemed to forget, the trouble, and became herself again. “I
am coming to live with you when you go to Penton,” she said.
“Hurrah! Mab is coming to live with us!” shouted the little boys, and
soon this great piece of news ran over the house.
“Mad’s tumming! Mad’s tumming!” little Molly joined in with her little
song.
And this new proposal, which was so strange and unlikely, and which the
elder members looked upon so dubiously, was carried by acclamation by
the little crowd, so to speak, of the irresponsible populace--the
children of the house.
The day had been an exhausting day. When the winter afternoon fell there
was throughout the house more than usual of that depressed and
despondent feeling which is natural to the hour and the season. Even
Mab’s going contributed to this sensation. The hopefulness of the
morning, when all had felt that the sending out of the new agent meant
deliverance from their anxiety, had by this time begun to sink into the
dreary waiting to which no definite period is put, and which may go on,
so far as any one knows, day after day. Sir Edward had withdrawn to the
book-room, very sick at heart and profoundly disappointed, disgusted
even not to have had a telegram, which he had expected from hour to hour
the entire day. Rochford had not found Walter, then, though he was so
confident in his superior knowledge. After all, he had sped no better
than other people. There was a certain solace in this, but yet a dreary,
dreadful disappointment. He sat over his fire, crouching over it with
his knees up to his chin, cold with the chill of nervous disquietude and
anxiety, listening, as the ladies had done so long--listening for the
click of the gate, for a step on the gravel--for anything that might
denote the coming of news, the news which he had never been able to
bring himself, but which Rochford had been so sure of sending, only, as
it seemed, to fail.
Lady Penton was in the drawing-room. She spent this dull hour often with
her husband, but to-day she did not go to him. She could not have been
with him and keep Ally’s secret, and she was loath to give him the
additional irritation of this new fact in the midst of the trouble of
the old. She said to herself that if Rochford succeeded in his search,
if he sent news, if he brought Walter home, that then everything would
be changed; and in gratitude for such a service his suit might be
received. She did not wish to expose that suit to an angry objection
now. Poor lady! she had more motives than one for this reticence. She
would not make Ally unhappy, and she would not permit anything to be
said or done that might lessen the energy of the lover who felt his
happiness to depend on his success. It was because of her habit of
spending this hour between the lights in the book-room with her husband
that she was left alone in the partial dark, before the lamp was brought
or the curtains drawn. She had gone close to the window when it was too
dark to work at the table, but now her work had dropped on her lap, and
she was doing nothing. Doing nothing! with so much to think of, so many,
many things to take into consideration. She sat and looked out on the
darkening skies, the pale fading of the light, the dull whiteness of the
horizon, and the blackness of the trees that rose against it. The
afternoon chill was strong upon her heart; she had been disappointed
too--she too had been looking for that telegram, and her heart had sunk
lower and lower as the night came on. That Walter should be found was
what her heart prayed and longed for, and now there was another reason,
for Ally’s sake, that the lover might claim his reward. But the day was
nearly over, and, so far as could be told, the lover, with all his young
energy, was as unsuccessful as Edward himself. So far as this went,
their thoughts were identical, but Lady Penton’s, if less sad, were more
complicated, and took in a closer net-work of wishes and hopes. She sat
at the window and looked out blankly, now and then putting up her hand
to dry her eyes. She could cry quietly to herself in the dark, which is
a relief a man can not have.
What a sad house! with heavy anxiety settling down again, and the shadow
of the night, in which even the deliverer can not work, nor telegrams
come. There was a spark of warmer life upstairs, where the girls had
lighted their candle, and where the tremendous secret which had come to
Ally was being shyly contemplated by both girls together in wonder of so
great and new a thing. And on the nursery there was plenty of
cheerfulness and din. But down-stairs all was very quiet, the father and
mother in different rooms thinking the same thoughts. Lady Penton wept
out those few tears very quietly. There was no sound to betray them. It
had grown very dark in the room and her eyes were fixed on the wan light
that lingered outside. She had no hope now for a telegram. He would not
send one so late. He must have written instead of telegraphing. He had
found nothing, that was clear.
She had said this to herself for the hundredth time, and had added for
perhaps the fiftieth that it was time to go and dress, that it was of no
use lingering, looking for something that never came, that she had now a
double reason to be calm, to have patience, to take courage, when it
seemed to her that something, a dark speck, flitted across the pale
light outside. This set her heart beating again. Could it be the
dispatch after all? She listened, her heart jumping up into her ears.
Oh! who was it? Nothing? Was it nothing? There was no sound. Yes, a
hurried rustle, a faint stir in the hall. She rose up. Telegraph boys
make a great noise, they send the gravel flying, they beat wild drums
upon the door. Now there was nothing, or only a something fluttering
across the window, the faintest stir at the open door.
What was it? a hand upon the handle turning it doubtfully, slowly; then
it was pushed open. Oh, no; no telegraph boy. She flew forward with her
whole heart in her outstretched hands. Some one stood in the dark,
looking in, saying nothing, only half visible, a shadow, no more.
“_Wat!_ WAT!” the mother cried.