My mother did not know where my brother was before she was sold, for we
heard that he had tried to get over to the Northern side and had been
taken to Richmond, Va., and put into Castle Thunder, and that was the
last that we heard of him during the war. When, to our surprise, we were
on our way North we learned that he was going to school; that the
Northern people had teachers there in the South to teach them to read
and to write; and he learning that we had gone North made himself ready
and came on, but he did not know where to find us, so getting a place to
work, and the same time telling those that he worked for that his people
were here somewhere, they found mother and got her to go to the place
where he was, and sure enough there was her dead and lost boy, and the
joy and love that came to that dear, loving mother and her only son on
that day will never be known on this side of the grave, as they have
both gone to the land of the blest, for my brother never used any bad
language in his life, and when he took the Lord for his own, it was his
meat and his drink to live for Him and to follow where He led, and he
died a true child of the King.
A few years later and mother's name was enrolled in the Lambs' Book of
Life, for she gladly answered to the roll call and fell asleep in the
arms of Jesus.
Well, my first place was in Adelphi street, with a family by the name of
Hammond, and I was there to help do the work, and when they found that I
liked to work so well they wanted me to do so much that I left that
place and got me another, for I did not get out to church or to
Sunday-school, and that was not the way that I had been trained, for
when I was three years old my white mother had taken me to church with
her on horseback.
Well, I said that I saw these children going to school on every week day
but Saturdays and on Sundays to Sunday-school, and I there at work as if
it were not the Lord's day, and I never shall like to work on that day
as I was born on Sunday morning.
Well, I left there not knowing what to do, and a white lady took me in
and told me to stay there until I could get another place, and I helped
her girl on the next day to finish all of the work and I made ready to
look for a place, and God did help me to find one and I shall never
forget Him as long as I live, for that was with a fine family and they
showed me love at once and I showed them love in return.
They were members of the Washington Avenue Baptist Church, and a more
beloved family never lived. This was the Bailley family--Mr. and Mrs.
Bailley, Miss Abbey Bailley, Mr. Bailley's sister, a young lady in her
teens, Miss Ella Bailley, and a nice boy by the name of Johnny Bailley,
and they were a nice family and they took me to church on Sunday morning
and sent me to Sunday-school in the afternoon with their children, and
what a heaven it seemed to me from the place where I was living at
first.
I shall always remember my dear white mother, of whom I spoke of in the
first part, and whom I shall call your attention to in many more pages
of this little Life Book, and shall always remember her with love and
the kindest feeling. She was a member of the true Methodist Church and
was never seen by her darling child from the House of God since I could
remember, for I was with her at all times on the family horse, Kimble,
and when I got large enough to ride alone she bought me a fine black
that had all the metal that a horse could have, and his name was Charlie
Engrum, and she paid a large price for him, and he was the grandest
horse I ever saw, and it was my delight to be near a horse or horses
when I was a child, for I did not have any fear of any kind of horse,
and I would take a ride the first thing in the morning, even before I
would have my breakfast, and my dear white mother would save it for me
as she knew that I would have that ride first; for it always made her
feel proud to see how well I had learned to ride, and she was the one
that had taught me how to ride, for she had me on the horse when I was
three years old and from that time until she went home to come out no
more forever.
I was two and a half years, as near as I can remember, when my own slave
mother's house was burned to the ground, and I shall never forget that
Saturday night. My mother's husband had gone to a dance and mother was
there alone with her little ones, and we all came near getting burned
up. We were all asleep when I awoke and found the house in a blaze. I
did not know enough or I was so much scared that I did not call to my
mother, but I think that she heard me when I rolled out of the bed, and
she was out of the bed quick as could be and getting the feather beds
she threw them out of the door and got the children and threw them out,
and she, finding that she did not have them all, said, "My God! I have
not all of my little ones;" and she ran in the house to look and she
found me under the bed, for I saw so much fire that I was getting out of
it, and God be praised that I was saved from that fire, and I have not
had the time to run after any fires since, for that fire was all the
fire I want.
I had not to stay there then, for the time is near at hand when I shall
go to my white mother's to live, for she is in Tennessee and will come
home soon to be with her darling child; and when she shall start again I
shall go, and now the times are all well for me as then, but the time
has come that the Lord has called her away from her child to be with
Him, and how could I live without her? And she was to leave her sick
child there for her own mother to care for, and God will raise up
friends in this lonely world to look after those that cry unto heaven,
believing that He is a hearer of the true prayer. I shall always
remember that Saturday afternoon when I was lying so sick when my
dearly beloved white mother took so sick, and they had the doctor there
for me, and he had to see after her the same time, and she was getting
so much worse all the time and the doctor had not any hopes of her, and
they took me from the room where she was, to a room upstairs and she had
them to take me down to look at her once more. That was on Sunday and on
Monday she heard the call to her to come up to that blessed land where
she should be forever with the Lord and her dear husband.
What a glory it must be for those that have washed their robes and made
them white in the blood of the Lamb.
I can call to mind when she the blessed one, that I call my white
mother, went to get me some shoes and a fine hat, and the one that sold
them told her, as she looked at a hat I wanted, that its price was
twenty dollars, but I was not thinking of the prices then as I do now,
and I cried to have that hat and did not want any of the others, and he
told my white mother that was too much for to spend on a hat for me, but
she told him nothing would cost too much for her to get for me, and she
got that fine hat for me and he had his money; so you can see how much
she loved me. And now that dear one is gone from me, and it seemed the
dearest one on this earth, and I did not think then that I could have
lived without her whom God had given to me for this world, but God, in
His wonderful love for me and to me, raised up friends for me and helped
me to find favor in the sight of all the people, for they seemed to love
me for her sake, and I did not get well for a long time.
This subject came to this dear lady, Mrs. Bettie House, when but three
years old, and from the day she came to that house she walked in her
footsteps, for she, Mrs. House, could not move, but she was right in the
way; and when she used to set me down for my play at certain times in
the day, when she was going in her room for prayer, she would find me
near before she was through; and if ever there was a loving woman she
was one, and I own my love to God for such a one as she was to care for
me all of those nights of watching by my bed, while the angels watched
from above to see that I should rise from that bed and live to be a
woman that would live for God and bless His name in all the earth,
knowing that I am tempted and tried on every hand. But trusting in His
omnipotent power I shall reach the land of the blest where that dear one
has gone to come out no more forever.
Well, to my story:
Dear public, hoping that this little life will be read with the greatest
love for humanity, and I am sure that if you have any love for the God
of heaven you can not fail to find a love for this book, and I hope you
will find a fullness of joy in reading this life, for if your heart was
like a stone you would like to read this little life.
I had many a hard spell of sickness since the death of this lady and the
doctors said that I could not live beyond a certain time, but every time
they said so Doctor Jesus said she shall live, for because I live she
shall live also; and He came to me and laid His strong arm around me and
raised me up by the power of His might, and to see the salvation of our
God in the land of the living. And to-day I can praise His name for His
wonderful love to the children of man.
I told you that my brother was the oldest child of eighteen and he was
in his teens when he was sent to the war; and it was a great thing to
him when he found himself in the hands of a people that were so kind and
good to him and showing such love for him, after being knocked around by
those he had been staying with, and it seemed like a heaven to him; and
he did learn fast, and he felt so glad to learn to read and to write,
and he would sit at nights when he was through with his daily toil and
write, so that he could let some one look at it and see how well he was
getting along, and I saw how anxious he was to get an education. I asked
my lady to let him come there and wait on the table, and have time to go
every day to school, and she did so, and he would go to No. 1 School to
Mr. C. Dosey, and he did nicely in his studies, and God be praised that
he had that much to take home with him, and I shall always feel glad
that I gave him that much.
I was thinking of my dear brother when the news reached me that he was
in this city, and I can never tell any one how glad that I was to see
the only boy that my mother ever had, for we all loved him dearly, as he
cared for all the rest of the children and it was no more than natural
that we should; and my mother thought so much of him that she often
would say if we were all boys she would not have to worry, for boys
could do so much better than girls. But I think that she found that the
girls were the best in her old age, for if one could not be near her the
other would, and if there is a time in the life of a parent it is when
they are helpless, and a boy is not any good to care for a sick parent
and they have to go without care.
But God be praised for all of the love and honor that was bestowed on
mother before she went home, for God has told us to honor our fathers
and our mothers that their days may be long upon the land which the
Lord, thy God, giveth thee; and we can not do them enough honor for the
love and the all night watching that we have when we are babies, and if
we have all of the love and care that I had, I am sure that a mother
has her hands full; and when now I think of the care and the worry that
it was to take care of my sick body, I can not help telling some one of
it, that they may feel as grateful as I feel, for God did give them love
for me, and if there is one that should feel grateful it is this
feeble-bodied slave girl, for I was such a slave to sickness, and God
was so good to raise me, even me, and I will say, praise His name.
I was telling you of my white mother being so true to the attendance in
the services of God, and I only wish that you would have known her as I
did, for she was more like one of the heavenly host than she was like
us, who are such sinful creatures. Now, it seems like sometimes that we
have not much love for the One who had so much love for us that He gave
all the dear One that He had to bring us to Himself, that we should
taste of those joys which He has for those who have washed their robes
and made them white in the Blood of the Lamb.
The Lord helped me to find love and favor with all after my white mother
was gone from this earth, when I felt that I would soon follow the
darling one to the blessed mansion; and I would look to see her come to
me, and I went as soon as I was well to the house and lay on the steps,
and it was not until we had left the dear old place before I could be
kept from there; and I wish that the whole world could have seen how
much she was like an angel, and I would to God she could see me to-day;
it would do you good. Lord, lead me on day by day, and help my feeble
life to be formed like her's, for when I think how she used to watch by
my bed at nights, while the angels watched by my bed from on high to see
that I should rise; and is not God the One that I should serve? And I
love to serve Him and honor Him, for He is my all in all; for she has
shown me how great her love was for me and all of humanity, and I love
to think of her love and to know how wonderful it would be to see her
sweet face on this green earth, and it does seem to me as if I could
almost see her by thinking of her so much.
I have said that we came to this lovely city in the year of our Lord
1865, and in that year I went to live with a good family that were
members of the church, where the Lord spoke peace to my soul, under the
preaching of the Rev. David Moore, then the beloved leader of the
noblest band of God's children on this earth, and a more beloved people
never lived. They were always on the lookout for any strangers that
might come in the church; and they soon found me out as I was a stranger
in the Monday night meeting. The dear pastor came to me the first one,
for he did not stop to think whether I was an African or what nation I
had come from, but he saw in me a soul, and he wanted to find out if
there was any room for Jesus to live or what I should do with Jesus, or
what should I do for Him, who had done so much for me; and my poor heart
was ready and waiting for some one to come to its rescue. It was then
and there that I yielded my life and my all to the one that can save to
the uttermost all that come unto Him by the Lord Jesus Christ.
I followed my Lord and Master in the Jordan in the year of our Lord
1866, and those sweet moments have never left me once. As the years go
by they seem to be the more sweet to my sinful soul, and I am trying to
wing my way to these bright mansions above, where I shall meet those
dear ones who have gone before.
I have had some of the darkest days of my life while on this voyage of
life, but when it is dark Jesus says, "Peace, be still and fear not, for
I will pilot thee."
And then my heart can sing:
"Jesus, Saviour, pilot me
Over life's tempestuous sea,
Unknown waves before me roll,
Hiding rocks and treacherous shoals.
Chart and compass come from Thee,
Jesus, Saviour, pilot me."
I know that He has led me through paths seen and unseen and has been my
pilot, for we have been called to pass through many a dark trial, but
God has been able for it all.
My dear mother had four of her children called home to heaven within a
short time. Some of them left her for the land of love in the same
month, and there seemed like nothing but God's displeasure on us, but it
was God's love to us, for we know that they are safe from all harm and
danger in this world of sin and distress. Some of them I never saw more
after landing in this city, but I shall see them and know them when I
shall have fought the blessed battle on this side, and the victory shall
be on the Lord's side. Then I can sing with the angels above:
"Crown Him, Crown Him, angels.
Crown Him, Crown Him, King of Kings.
Crown Him, Crown Him, angels.
Crown Him, Crown Him, Crown the Saviour King of Kings."
What joy there will be to crown Him as our Heavenly King and to know
that we are the inhabitants of that kingdom.