THE SINGULAR INVITATION TO THE BARON’S WEDDING.
About three days after the transactions which we have just recorded,
the admiral received a call from his friend, the attorney, and that
call had a double object.
In the first place, the man of law wanted to tell him how he was
proceeding, as regarded the Quaker, and there they had a great tussle
about what was to be done, for, when the attorney said to him,
“Now, admiral, as regards this assault upon Mr. Shepperd, all that can
be done is to let him prove his case, and then come up for judgment,
and move in the court in mitigation. I dare say, you will dragged up to
Westminster Hall for judgment, and I should not at all wonder, but you
will get off with a fine of six-and-eightpence.”
“What do you mean,” said the admiral, “by letting him do what he likes?”
“In effect, it is the same thing as pleading guilty, you know, to a
charge brought against you, and, by so doing, you, to a great extent,
disarm justice.”
“Guilty!” roared the admiral; “guilty! You will be a long time, indeed,
in convincing me that there is any guilt in kicking a Quaker, and
especially such a Quaker as Mr. Shepperd. Why, I’ll do it again, and
think it, as I do now, a meritorious action.”
“Yes; but you misunderstand me. It’s called guilt, you know, in law, to
do anything contrary to law; and, by pleading guilty, you do no more
than just admit the fact that you have kicked the Quaker.”
“That’s quite another thing. I have no objection to the fact, whatever,
but don’t call it being guilty, for that’s all moonshine, and I won’t
have it, at any price. Guilty be hanged! I think I see it. Guilty of
kicking a Quaker, indeed; I have half a mind to go and kick him again,
just on purpose; and I don’t know but what I may do it yet.”
“Well, well, admiral, now that we have settled that knotty point, I
have got something else to tell you, of a more agreeable nature.”
“Out with it—out with it.”
“It is this. You recollect that, upon the marriage of Miss Flora
Bannerworth with your nephew, Mr. Charles Holland——”
“The marriage feast, you mean, for, as far as the marriage was
concerned, they all got the better of the old man.”
“Yes; the marriage feast. You recollect that, upon that occasion, you
gave me leave to invite a number of persons, all of whom were very
grateful, and thought very highly of you and the honour of coming into
your company.”
“A devil of a sensible fellow this lawyer is,” thought the admiral.
“It’s enough to make one take to lawyers, I’ll be hanged if it ain’t.
Go on—go on; what of all that? I am sure I was as well pleased to see
them all as they were to see me.”
“Well, sir, it appears that some of these persons, and especially a
family of the name of Clark, have been exceedingly anxious to bestow
some civility upon you in return; and, as they have been invited to a
wedding, they wish to prevail upon you to go with them, as it will be a
very stylish affair.”
“Well, I don’t mind,” said the admiral. “Where is it?”
“It’s as far as twenty miles off, at a place called Anderbury, and it
is wished that you should bring anybody you like with you, upon the
occasion.”
“Well, it’s civil, at all events, and I don’t mind, if Henry and
Charles and Flora like it, going. But, when you mention Anderbury,
I’ll be hanged if I don’t think it’s the very place that Jack Pringle
has gone to, to get a sight of the salt water, for the benefit of his
health.”
“Well, sir, it will have none the less recommendation to you, I dare
say, that it is close to the sea.”
“You are right there, and, I can tell you, I was thinking of going
myself, because you know, what suits Jack, in those respects, is pretty
well sure to suit me; and I thought, as that vagabond was enjoying
himself down by the sea coast, I might as well go and do so likewise.”
“Well, sir, then I may consider I have your full consent to the
arrangement, and I am sure it will be received by the parties with a
great deal of satisfaction, indeed.”
“Well, well, somehow or another, you talk me over to things, so I’ll
go, without making any more fuss about it; and I will take Henry with
me, and Charles, and Flora, and I’d take old Varney, the Vampyre, too,
if we had him here. It would be a good bit of fun to take such a fellow
as that to a wedding.”
“He would not be the most welcome guest in the world.”
“No; I should think not. But who are our invitations to come from?”
“They will come from the bride’s mother, as the people I have told you
are so anxious to take you with them are friends of hers.”
“Very good—very good; so, as it’s all right, I will speak to Henry
about it, and Flora, and, I dare say, we shall all manage to get there
comfortably enough. Let me see; it’s just two stages for post-horses.
Well, well, lawyer, you may look upon it as decided; it is to be, and
there is an end of it.”
In due course, on the following day, there came a note to Admiral Bell,
enclosing a card, on which was said,
“Mrs. Williams requests the honour of Admiral Bell’s company, with
his party, to breakfast, on the 10th instant, at two o’clock, on the
occasion of the celebration of the nuptials of Miss Helen Fedora
Williams with the Baron Stolmuyer of Saltzburgh, &c., &c., at
Anderbury-on-the-Mount.”
“The devil!” said the admiral. “This is an odd affair—something
slashing, and out of the way, I should say. Breakfast at two o’clock!
that’s the d—dest piece of humbug in the whole affair. Who the devil is
to wait for their breakfast till two o’clock? I never heard anything
better than that; but I suppose there will be something to eat, so I
shall take the liberty of having my breakfast at seven in the morning,
and calling that my dinner, and my lunch I will manage to get at some
inn on the road.”
With this card of invitation in his hand, the admiral went to Flora,
and laid it before her, saying,—
“Here will be fine fun, Flora, for you. This is the invitation I spoke
to you of, and they are going to have breakfast at two o’clock, lunch,
I suppose, at five, dinner at nine, a cup of coffee at about twelve,
supper at four o’clock in the morning, and I suppose they will get to
bed at about daybreak.”
Flora laughed as she perused the card, and then she said,—
“It certainly promises to be quite a fine affair, uncle; and, at all
events, as we are only guests, we shall be able fully to enter into the
amusement of the affair, if there be any, and I am inclined to think
there will be, by the rather pompous reading of the card of invitation
which has been so civilly sent to us.”
“If they are ridiculous people,” said the admiral, “we will laugh at
them, and they cannot expect but that we should; and if they should
turn out to be otherwise, they may become very pleasant acquaintances,
you know.”
“Assuredly; and it will not do to judge of people always by such a
trivial piece of evidence as a card of invitation can afford to one;
so I will endeavour to go to the wedding with an impression that they
are agreeable people—an impression which, considering the complimentary
manner in which they have invited us, we ought to cultivate.”
“Very good; and do you speak to Charles about it, for I have not had an
opportunity of so doing; and as the people have invited us handsomely,
I think we ought to go in a manner so as to do them as much credit as
possible; and, therefore, I should say that a coach and four, with
postillions, will be the plan, and look rather stylish.”
“Oh, uncle, you will be mistaken for the bridegroom.”
“Shall I? Very well, I am quite willing that I should be, always
provided I may chance to admire the bride; but if I do not, you may be
sure that I shall take pretty good care to explain the error.”