[Illustration]
_He_ was a dapper, dumpy thing,
With nought decisive on him graven
But smiles, like footlights flickering
O'er visage shaven.
And _it_, that kind of social myth
Where every guest (and each a rum one)
Is Somebody, because the kith
Or kin of Someone.
The Great Siberian Victim's Aunt,
The Godfather of Colonel CODY,
And some affinity I can't
Recall to DAUDET.
In fine, a Tussaud's once removed,
Not waxworks, but their far connections;
The names, the attitudes, approved,
But mere reflections.
Our hostess, wont to pedigree
Her portents, slurred his surname sweetly;
So up my smiler tripped--to me
Unknown completely.
Thus mystified, I needs must bruit
The weather--"It was rainy, rather."
"Yes," he rejoined, "It does not suit
My Poet-father:
"Strange how the damp affects great men;
My nephew, not the Wit, the Artist,
You know paints always smartest when
It rains the smartest."
"In _water_-colours?" feebly next
I faltered, falling quite to pieces:
"No, no," he murmured mildly vexed,
"_You_ mean my nieces.
"Those delicate young paintresses
Of Idyls in Cobalt and Bistre,
Though for Impressionist success,
Give me my sister.
"My nephew, he's inspired of course,
Divine, quite _autre chose: en bref_ you--
Forgive an uncle's pride--perforce
Adore my nephew."
Reeling with Relatives, I quite
My compass lost: to shift our bearing,
"Who is the Lady on your right?"
Quoth I, despairing.
"That Beauty, like the portraits I've
For sale beheld of Miss BELLE BILTON."--
"She? She's the representative,
The last, of MILTON!"
This was too much: what _could_ I try
To burst from such a tangled tether?
The shops for neutral ground, thought I,
Eclipse the weather.
The shops! The very thing. I dared
The shops. "How wonderful was WHITELEY!"
Dazed at the Wizard's name he stared,
And shuddered slightly.
A silence froze his ready twang:
No more he smiled--from that fell minute,
HENRY THE FIRST--to speak in slang--
Was scarcely in it.
That smilelessness! What meant the curse?
Who could the skein unravel? I did.
This was the Diner "Univers-
-ally provided."
Renowned, if nameless--hired to be
Salvation of a banquet's ruin,
"Monsieur Le Quatorzième" took me,
And may take you in.
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