A LOVER’S ORDEAL.
Rita said nothing more to her father on this subject for a day or two,
and the poor man, deceived once more, began to believe that it had made
little impression upon her, and was to be allowed to pass as of no
particular importance. He had even begun to congratulate himself on the
beneficial effects of his system of training, and the knowledge of the
world which her early initiation into life had given her. “Had I brought
Rita up as most girls are brought up,” he said to himself; “had she been
fresh from a convent, for instance, like some of her friends, or shut up
indoors as Italian girls are, her head would have been turned by the
first mention of a lover. But she has seen a great deal, though she is
so young. In our position she could not help seeing a great deal. She
knows how to discriminate, and can judge what is what. What a good thing
that I did not follow the advice of all these ladies, but was bold
enough to trust to my girl’s innocence and bring her up my own way!”
Thus artlessly did the Vice-Consul console himself. And his mind was a
great deal easier; for before he was always nervous lest she should
question him about Harry, and afraid of betraying himself, even afraid
of letting Rita perceive that there was something to betray. Now that he
had made a clean breast and got it over, his mind was relieved, and he
felt that he could carry his head as high as usual, and need not be
afraid to look any girl in the face. For the first day he rejoiced with
trembling, but after that had passed began to feel that he had really
secured his footing, and might take comfort that the danger was over.
Poor Vice-Consul! He had but just allowed this sensation of pleasure to
enter his mind when Rita, looking up at him suddenly from a book in
which she had all the air of being completely absorbed, addressed him
suddenly as follows--
“Papa! I have been thinking over what you told me the other day--What
is the matter?” she added, interrupting herself.
“Nothing, nothing,” said poor Mr. Bonamy, faintly. He had been lying
back in a very comfortable chair, whiffing gently at intervals a mild
cigarette, and giving himself up to the comfort, the ease of being done
with a subject in which he had foreseen trouble. When his daughter began
to speak, a presentiment of danger awoke in him, and he started up in
his chair when she had said these words. “Nothing, nothing,” he
repeated, letting himself drop again, but alas, with what different
feelings; with the languor of a conflict foreseen, in which he knew he
should be worsted. “What have you been thinking about, Rita?”
“About what you told me the other day. Of course it was not just an
ordinary thing that one could think nothing more about. Poor Mr. Oliver!
I think he has been badly treated. I want you to tell him just to come
as usual. He must be on his guard, you know; but in any case he would be
on his guard after speaking to you. He must not suppose that I know
anything about it.”
“But, my dear,” said the Vice-Consul, with a troubled face, “I don’t
think that would do at all; he would think that he had my permission
to--to pay you his addresses, as people used to say?”
“What are addresses?” said Rita, with much appearance of innocence. “You
must tell him, of course, that there is to be nothing of that kind; but
only just that he is to come as before. I don’t see that it need do him
any harm--I mean any further harm,” said the girl, correcting herself.
She spoke with unusual airiness and carelessness, so lightly indeed that
her indifference had the aspect of being somewhat studied.
“Him--harm! that was not the question,” the perplexed father said.
“I hope you don’t mean to infer that it would do _me_ any harm?” said
Rita, turning upon him with a smile of superb disdain. She even laughed
a little at the folly of the idea, opening and shutting a fan which she
held in her hand. “That would be too ridiculous--too ridiculous,” she
said.
“But, my dear child, you are young and inexperienced, and--”
“Don’t insult me, please, papa,” she said, fanning herself. If she had
been fifty she could not have looked more superior to any such
temptation. “And, on the other hand,” she added, “I don’t see why poor
Mr. Oliver should be punished, positively punished for liking me. It is
not a sin to like me. Of course he must learn to keep it to himself; it
will be a good lesson in self-control--which everybody is the better
for,” said this young oracle, “and especially, as I have always heard,
young men.”
This wisdom took away the Vice-Consul’s breath. “That is very true:” he
said “but I am not at all sure that this is a safe way of teaching it. I
think, if it is the same to you, Rita--”
“But it is not the same to me,” she cried, impatiently. “If you will not
set poor Mr. Oliver right and do him justice, I think I will go and pay
that visit my aunt Ersilia always wants me to make her. You said
yourself I must go one day or other. I will go now.”
Now if there was one thing more than another which Mr. Bonamy was afraid
of, it was this visit to her aunt Ersilia, her mother’s Italian sister,
with which she threatened him from time to time. He said hurriedly, “I
don’t think this is a good time for going further south, Rita. Of
course, if you wish it so much, I will gladly remove the embargo on
poor Oliver, who is a very good, honest sort of fellow; but I can’t have
him tormented, poor boy--and you must promise to be very distant with
him, which is the kindest thing you can do.”
“But not too distant, papa,” said Rita; “for I think it a great deal
better that he should suppose I do not know. Far better. I will behave
to him just as usual. I will withdraw gradually, bit by bit, that he may
not feel too much difference. Indeed, unless he is different to me, I
don’t see why I should be different to him. Of course he will be on his
guard. You see he _knows now_. Naturally he will be more careful. He
will understand that if you let him come back he is upon his honour. So,
on the whole, I will make very little difference. I think it is far
better that everything should have the look of being just the same as
before.”
With this Mr. Bonamy was obliged to be satisfied. He had known very well
when the discussion began that Rita’s will, whatever it might be, was
the thing that would be done. He had in his own mind a great many
troubled reflections, considering how he was to do it, so as not to
excite false hopes or vain expectations in the young man’s mind; but it
was, from the moment when she declared her sovereign will, a foregone
conclusion. He had not resolved the question how it was to be done, up
to the time he went into his office in the morning, and then thought it
best to leave it to chance and the inspiration of the moment. When he
sent for Harry to speak with him he had still but a very faint idea what
to say. The young man came in looking somewhat dull and depressed, as he
did always now, and no longer expectant of anything better, as he had
been at the first. It was a moment of leisure, and the Vice-Consul had
the air of a man with something disagreeable rather than something
pleasant to say. His look was artificial, and the smile which adorned
his face was forced and uncomfortable.
“Come in, Oliver, come in,” he said, with an air of affected geniality.
Harry thought he was going to receive his dismissal; he did not think
that anything less could give his kind and friendly patron an aspect so
little natural. “Sit down,” said the Vice-Consul, “I have something to
say before business begins this afternoon. Oliver, I have been going
through quite a passage of arms on your account.”
“On my account?” said Harry, feeling as if his heart stopped beating; he
thought within himself, that this passage of arms must have been with
some of the authorities of the F. O., who perhaps had been stirred up to
ask what a stranger, without recommendations, was doing there. It seemed
to him that the next thing which would be said must be, “I have no
further occasion for your services,” and braced himself for these words.
“Don’t be frightened; yes, you look frightened,” said Mr. Bonamy, still
with that false geniality, “but no harm has come of it. You met--my
daughter--the other day.”
“Yes.” Harry’s heart re-commenced beating, and went so fast that it
almost choked him. “It was an accident, Sir; I did not see Miss Bonamy
till I was close upon her, I could not escape.”
“Yes, she told me. And she asked what had become of you, and you
answered ‘Very well, thank you!’ You will allow that was strange. No
doubt she had been much puzzled by your disappearance before, and she
assailed me directly what was the meaning of it? I had to say all sorts
of things, that you were too busy to come, that you were otherwise
engaged, and I don’t know what; but the short and the long of it is,
Oliver, that, if you want to keep her from knowing all about it, you
must begin to come back again. Things cannot go on as they are now
without arousing her suspicions. This is her night, you know; you must
look in for an hour. Of course I don’t want to enter into explanations
with her,” said the Vice-Consul, becoming more at ease now he had made
out his statement, and done it, he thought with some complacence, very
cleverly. “You must really, by way of supporting what I have been
obliged to say, look in to-night.”
Harry’s heart was making up tremendously now for its momentary pause. He
felt as if it must be audible all over the house. A flush of warmth went
over him. He spoke with little breaks in his voice, so much excited and
disturbed was he.
“If you--have no objections, Sir. It cannot be but--a favour to me.”
“That’s a good fellow,” cried the Vice-Consul relieved. “I was afraid
you would tell me it was too painful, and leave me in the lurch.”
“If I did that, Sir,” said Harry, “I should be a worthless creature
indeed, however much it might cost me; but this--this---- If you have
no objections, Sir--you can’t have any doubt that I----”
Here he stopped, not knowing what to say more.
“You must understand, Oliver,” said Mr. Bonamy, gravely, “that if I have
no objections it is because I don’t want to enter into explanations with
Rita; and then I have missed you, I would never deny that. But you must
not suppose, because of this, that I mean you, you know, to depart from
our--bargain, or to do anything to change the position. In short, I
don’t intend, Oliver, that you should take advantage of the change
to--in short, to----”
This was not very explanatory, but Harry hastened to reply as if it had
been the clearest statement in the world.
“You may be sure I will take no advantage of the change,” he said.
“Well, that is just what I expected from you,” said the Vice-Consul,
falling into his natural tone; “but, my dear fellow,” he added, with a
little alarm, “I must be sure that you can depend upon yourself. You
told me you were afraid you would betray your feelings if you continued
to come; you told me even that you had done so, or almost done so----”
“Ah, Sir,” cried Harry, “that was when I found myself out! I know
exactly all about it now, and I am on my guard.”
“Bless me,” said the Vice-Consul, “that is exactly what----” here he
stopped short with the guiltiest look. He was just about to say--what
Rita said.
“You need not have any fear on my account,” said Harry: and then he
paused a little, and added with feeling, “and I am proud that you have
confidence in me. I will do nothing to shake it; you may be sure of
that. I should be a poor creature indeed if my heart did not respond to
such trust.”
This was a very fine speech for Harry. He was carried altogether beyond
himself by the emergency. These last lonely evenings had been wonderful
teachers for him. He had learned to read, he had learned to understand.
He had even learned many things more than reading and understanding in
these days of solitude. The thought of going back to her, to that little
world in which she reigned, was delightful to him, but he wondered what
change there would be in it to balance the strange change in his own
breast. It seemed to him that he was a new man, with deeper feelings
and an expanded mind. And she? Would she just be the same, and all the
things and people round her? Harry did not want her to be the least
different. He thought she was perfect, the most wonderful of all beings;
but he felt himself so much altered that he was excited by the thought
that she might be changed too. He went away from his audience not
knowing whether he walked on solid earth or air. Certainly he would not
take advantage; unquestionably he would be upright and honest, and bind
himself as with ropes rather than betray his kind friend’s confidence;
but with all this he was very much excited, and a glow of warmth and
hopefulness began to circulate in his veins. The new concession meant no
change in the circumstances; this the Vice-Consul had been anxious to
impress upon him; and he was equally anxious to assent, to assure Rita’s
father on the other hand that he expected nothing, scarcely desired
anything except this trust in him. But, nevertheless, it would be
impossible to deny that a something of hope, a trembling yet happy
expectation, had come into his heart.
How carefully he dressed himself that night! Never in all his life had
he made so careful a toilette before. And Paolo, having heard what had
happened (which Harry, reticent as he was, could not keep from him), was
excited too, and came and sat by him while he dressed, and wanted to
help him, as if they had been two girls. Paolo ran out and bought him a
bouquet for his button-hole. He brought in a fresh bottle of
eau-de-Cologne. He was very anxious to lend him something to wear--his
studs, which were little cameos set in gold, or a ring, with a doubtful
gem in it, of which he was very proud, thinking it a genuine antique.
“It is not brilliant like a diamond,” said Paolo, “but it is art, which
is more precious, and pleases much to the Signorina. Take it, amico mio,
you have no ring, which is an absence that is felt; and the studs, that
will make your appearance so much more perfect--what you call finished.”
Harry rejected these aids to the effectiveness of his dress, but he took
great pains about his tie, and rebrushed his coat himself, and gave
particular attention to the arrangement of his hair. He said to himself,
as he walked along in the summer dusk, that all this was very foolish,
that he was not on his promotion, when it might have been wise to make
the best of all his advantages, that he was going only because he was
nobody, because the Vice-Consul was not afraid of him, and thought it
wiser to run the risk of him than to disturb Rita’s mind about any such
petty suitor. It was very much like giving him the crumbs from the
table, but he was willing to accept these, or anything. He went into the
lighted room with his heart beating. Several of the ladies who were
_habituées_ exclaimed on his entrance, and made haste to tell him that
they had thought he was gone altogether, and to ask where he had been.
Rita took no part in these questions, but she gave him her left hand as
a sign of friendship, and smiled and nodded to him without stopping her
conversation with somebody else. Indeed, she treated him as if there had
been no break in their intercourse, as though they had met yesterday and
were to meet again to-morrow. This pleased Harry, and yet it wrung his
heart. Was he of so little importance to her that she had not even
noticed his absence? But that could not be. He began to wonder whether
it was perhaps a good sign. She _had_ noticed his absence, speaking to
her father about it. Was it perhaps--? His heart began to beat again as
at first. But Rita took very little notice of him all the evening. She
was perfectly sweet and smiling, and when she did address him did it
with all her old friendliness; but Harry could not persuade himself that
she had remarked him and his careful tie, and his well-brushed curls at
all.
After that there ensued a time of mingled torture and happiness, when
Rita played with the young man as a cat plays with a mouse. She was more
interested in him than she had ever been in any young man before. He was
a study to her of the most attractive kind. A young man who was in
love--not a young man who was wanting to marry, a species of which she
had seen several specimens--but one who was actually, really, warmly in
love--and with herself. She wanted to see how such a person behaved. It
was as good as a play to her. She would laugh to herself secretly,
thinking of it, so much amused was she; and it seemed to her almost a
duty to try him in every way, to see how far this love would carry him,
and how long he would manage to keep it under. It did not occur to Rita
that this was a somewhat cruel process, or that Harry was pledged in
honour to her father not to betray himself. The cat most likely has no
idea of cruelty in her play with the mouse. Sometimes Rita would take no
notice of him at all, neglecting all the wistful attention which poor
Harry felt it was within his bond to bestow so long as he looked for
nothing in return. For a whole evening she would not so much as look at
him; then would suddenly turn with her most cordial smile, with a few
words more sweet than he thought she had ever bestowed upon him before.
Sometimes she would call him to her side, and ply him with seductions
which poor Harry did not know how to resist; sometimes she would devote
all her efforts to the task of making him betray himself, tempting him
with all sorts of opportunities. But Harry stood fast. He had given his
promise, and nothing would make him break it. He wavered like a tree in
the wind, but he never yielded. Sometimes she made him think that she
was ready to listen to anything he might say, and another time would
take the first opportunity of showing him that he was nothing to her. It
was hard upon the mouse; yet we doubt whether he would have exchanged
this agitated existence for the most happy calm. He went to the
Consulate with a continued expectation, with his heart always beating
loudly, not knowing what he was to look for; but a more calm level of
kindness would not have given him those variations of feeling, that
dramatic interest in his life; so that, perhaps, there was not much harm
done, the tortured liking the play as much as the torturer. As for Rita
she was very much interested too; the pursuit amused her--it was a new
sensation. She wanted above all things to overcome his resolution, and
make him betray himself. But here her efforts were vain against the rock
of Harry’s invincibility. He would not, whatever she might do, break his
promise. He kept a watch upon himself which was not to be overcome.
The Vice-Consul did not know what to make of the business altogether. It
gave him a great deal of thought. He watched the young man with a
jealous eye: but Harry met every scrutiny with an unflinching front. And
Mr. Bonamy did what he could to watch his daughter, but that was not so
easy. She was amusing herself, but whether she was going too far in her
trial of Harry’s constancy he could not tell. She bewildered her father,
which was not difficult; but what was more wonderful, after a while,
this venturous person began to bewilder herself. She thought she was
tired of Harry, who could not be got to swerve out of the right way. She
began to think that it was all a fiction, or that this love after the
English fashion was far too self-commanded and restrained for a half
Italian girl. She had thought at first that it would be quite easy and
extremely amusing to make him betray himself. And she had resolved in
such a case that his downfall should do him no harm; she would not
betray him; she would keep his secret. But she had not supposed that he
would stand out, that he would be able to resist her: and at length she
got confused about her own notions, and about his conduct and everything
around her, and knew no longer what to think.