CHAPTER IX.

RELIGIOUS CHANGES.

1881-1884.

The true poetic temperament has in it an element of religion; for

religion and poetry both deal with the spiritual interpretation of

life, and one who possesses the temperament for either is conscious

of the vastness overshadowing common things, and sees the infinite

meaning of the apparent finiteness of the visible world. The delicate

perception of truth which is a distinctive quality of the poet often

leads to the deep appreciation of the spirit in and through nature, and

enables one to feel and know God.

Lucy Larcom possessed the poetic temperament, with this strong

element of religion. She was pre-eminently religious, in the sense

of possessing a spiritual power, dealing continually with spiritual

things. She began early to interpret life in the light of divine truth;

and truth made real in human character she considered the one thing

worth striving for.

Her relations to organized Christianity are particularly interesting.

Doubtless the history of her connection with the churches is a type

of that of other lives numerous in our generation that have become

dissatisfied with the communions in which they have been trained, and

after a period of uncertainty and unrest have found a home in the

Episcopal Church.

Her religious life began in a Puritan home, and in a Congregational

meeting-house. The strong ethical teaching of her fathers made a

lasting impression on her, and the dogmatic preaching of Calvinism

influenced her young life. From both she gained a love for the

simplicity of living which characterized her career, and that dearness

of conscience which she always displayed. There was also a joy to her

under the austerity of the worship, and the sternness of the theology.

The sermons suggested new thoughts, which forced themselves between

the sentences of the minister, and in this way she preached to herself

another sermon than that spoken from the pulpit.

Her religious enthusiasm bore fruit at thirteen years of age, in church

membership, in Lowell. Not many years after this she was sorry for

the step she had taken, for the natural broadening of her mind and

the deepening of her consciousness of truth led her far away from the

doctrines she had accepted. The sermons that she heard did not seem

to satisfy her needs; she longed for spiritual nourishment, for help

on the daily path, for thoughts that had some connection with actual

temptations and doubts. Most of the discourses dealt ingeniously with

exegetical questions, or were massive arguments used to crush the

objector, or efforts to prove some metaphysical doctrine. Relating one

Sunday’s experience, which has been referred to before in her diary,

she said, “I went to meeting, expecting and needing spiritual food,

and received only burning coals and ashes. There was a sermon to prove

that Satan will be tormented for ever and ever; and the stress of the

argument was to prove the endlessness of his punishment.”

Not only did she find a failing sympathy with the preaching and

worship, but there were doctrines she could not continue to hold.

Among these doctrines were, verbal inspiration of the Bible, which she

thought mechanical and destructive of the Spirit’s influence through

a distinctive human personality; the Atonement, as the purchase blood

of God’s favor for a fallen race; predestination, which seemed to

eliminate man’s freedom; and endless punishment, adjudged for acts in

this life, without any probation in a future state, which seemed to

her contrary to the idea of the Sonship of man. Neither did she care

for the emphasis placed on doctrine, as distinguished from life. The

central point in her theology was the truth of God’s love, and from

this, by logical sequence, came her ideas of His revelation through

nature, through human life as His gift, and through character as a

manifestation of His glory. She was a student of Maurice, who led her

along congenial paths of thought. On Sundays when she remained away

from church, she generally read a sermon of Robertson’s; and in his

powerful analyses of truth, and in his burning love for the Master, she

found continued inspiration. Her love for the person of Jesus increased

each year. She felt herself a member of the Invisible Church, being

contented with the thought that the visible churches had no claim upon

her, because of their errors.

TO J. G. WHITTIER.

627 TREMONT STREET,

BOSTON, December 25, 1881.

MY DEAR FRIEND,--Alone in my room this evening, I feel just like

writing a Christmas letter to you, and I follow the impulse.

This day always brings back old times and old friends to memory, but

never with sadness to me, because the one idea of the day is hope

and joy for all souls, the possibilities of infinite help, unending

progress. Whenever I enter deeply into the thought of Christ, whenever

I feel Him the one Reality inseparable from my own being, then I

feel that I have my friends safe, and that they are to be my friends

forever. To me, He is the one Divine Friend in whom human friendships

can alone be real and permanent, because He draws us into sympathy

with what is best, with what is eternal, the love of goodness, the

consciousness of God in us and around us, and the solemn gladness of a

human life into which God has entered, and where He still is.

God with us still, the Spiritual Presence of One who is more real

than any other person can be to us, through whom indeed we receive

our personality,--this idea, so grand as at times to seem almost

impossible, grows more definite and clear to me. It is the “So I am

with you alway” of Christ. And with this idea, that of those whom we

love unseen, our friends who have disappeared from sight, becomes more

definite also.

Sometimes I can say undoubtingly, “I _know_ I shall find them again,

where He is.” But though the light flickers and dims sometimes, what if

it does? There the light is, and every year a larger space is redeemed

from darkness.

Oh, my dear friend! life is a gift blessed as it is awful. To think

how close we are to one another for good or evil, do what we will! We

cannot be apart from our fellow-beings; the pulses of this life we

have in common throb, upward or downward, through us forever. Death

is not to me half so solemn as life: but then death is no reality--a

circumstance of our external life only....

TO THE SAME.

627 TREMONT STREET,

BOSTON, June 6, 1881.

... I am steadily gaining in strength I think, and I am glad to keep

on learning to live and to work, with such limitations as years

necessarily bring. I find my life taking deeper hold of all other human

lives; I feel myself more closely and warmly one of the great human

family, every year of my life. And I feel through this the assurance

of immortality--because we are in our deepest instincts children of the

living God--because we, as sons and daughters, are united through the

Son with the Father; we share His eternity; we cannot lose Him nor one

another, nor the least spark of truth or love kindled within us from

His being.

I am glad that I live, and that I shall die; that I shall fall asleep

to awake with all I love, with all that is permanent here, in Him.

The forward outlook is full of good cheer; for is not He the Eternally

Good?...

TO FRANKLIN CARTER.

BEVERLY, MASS., July 18, 1881.

DEAR FRANK,--I want to write a word of congratulation to you, in your

new position. C---- told me you thought of going to Williamstown, but I

did not know it was fully decided, until I saw your address in a Boston

paper.

It was an excellent inaugural. I felt my sympathy go out to you as I

read. I felt sure, and feel sure, that you will do good in your new

position, which surely is a most responsible one, in a time like this.

I wonder if it is really a time of greater unbelief than hitherto.

Doubt is not an unhealthy symptom; it argues the possibility of belief.

Indifference to high truth seems to me worst of all, the indifference

that comes of _too much world_, which everybody seems to get suffocated

in.

It is a great privilege to be able to influence young men to the best

things, as you will be able to,--to make low aims seem, as they are,

unworthy of manhood. God bless you and help you!

I have lived on, doing the little I could, during these last few years.

I have gained in health, and am always hoping to return to some steady

work; but it may not be best to do so at all. I like my freedom, and

if I can afford to keep it, I shall. I am sure it is not good for me

to live in a school. I sometimes wish I had earned or inherited money

enough not to have to think of the future, but doubtless the Lord knows

just what I need. It is not best for us all to have life made easy for

us, in that way.

As I look back on my life, I see much reason for humility. I ought to

have done so much more and so much better. Nevertheless the future is

bright, for God is good. Sometimes it seems to me as if I were just

learning what His forgiveness means, what it is to begin every day

anew, as if there had been no unworthy past, as if there were only

His love and my desire to please Him left. But I only meant to write

a line. I go from here to spend the “hay-fever” season among the

mountains very soon.

Always and truly yours,

LUCY LARCOM.

The change in Miss Larcom’s religious life came when she began to

attend the services of Trinity Church, Boston, in 1879. The preaching

of Phillips Brooks was the realization, in living words, of her own

thought. He gave utterance for her to all her broader and freer

conceptions of Christianity. She had known little of the Episcopal

Church before going to Trinity, and she had the same inherited

prejudices that many, bred like her, have, though she remembered with

pleasure St. Ann’s in Lowell, during her days of wage earning; but

the simplicity of the worship at Trinity, and the earnestness of the

preacher, touched the deepest chords in her life, and she realized that

she could be helped by them. Writing to one of her friends, who urged

upon her the claims of the Episcopal Church, she said:--

... I have been very much interested in the services at Trinity Church.

Just think! two prayer-books came to me in one week! one from a friend

in New York, from whom I had not heard for a year. I do not know what

special suggestion I am to get from the fact, except that I am to

know more of the Episcopal Church. Truly I am ashamed of my ignorance

regarding it. I enjoy the services, but I think I still strongly

prefer Congregational ways. If only there were a little more sharing

of the worship on the part of the people! I don’t like to think that

the minister is doing it all up for me; but that is the way of one,

and not of the other, decidedly. I am going to be able to worship with

Episcopalians as intelligently as with others....

At another time she wrote about her church connections as follows:--

... I wish I could feel as you do, about the Church. I should like

to be there, but I have to look upon it from the outside as an

institution. The real church, to which I hope I belong, seems to

me to be so much broader than any one form, so inclusive of all

denominations, that I hardly think I have the right to identify myself

with any; for, by so doing, I should exclude myself absolutely from the

rest. Now I seem to myself to belong everywhere. Yet it is sometimes

lonely to feel that spiritually I have not where to lay my head. We

women crave home, a home of our own; but we must not deceive ourselves

by shutting our eyes, and making believe we are at home, when we are

not.

However, I mean to go regularly to Trinity if I can, for the feeling

of having free seats is more comfortable than that of intruding into

people’s pews, and I go as if I had a right to the service....

Her diary for 1881 and 1882 indicates the deepening of her religious

thought, and the way in which the Episcopal Church was becoming known

to her.

Boston, November 28, 1881. Waked by distant bells of Advent Sunday. As

a Puritan, I have known little of the Christian year, in its Church

history. It is worth while to try to enter into the spirit of all

methods of true Christian worship. I read a sermon by F. D. Maurice,

one by F. W. Robertson, and one by Phillips Brooks, all bearing upon

the idea of these Advent days. In the “Christian Year” (Keble), an

allusion is made to one of the skeptical centuries, which seems to fit

this, in its over-scientific tendencies:--

“An age of light,

Light without love, glares on the aching sight.”

But under all true science,--if science is indeed knowledge,--we shall

find Christ, since Christ is the revelation of the deepest love of God.

December 4. Have been writing Christmas verses, by request, the past

week. Thanksgiving and Christmas would blend themselves in my thoughts

as one festival. “For my body liveth by my soul, and my soul by me”

(St. Augustine). “Too little doth he love Thee, who loves anything with

thee, which he loveth not for Thee” (_Ibid._).

December 5. Two distinct thoughts impressed by the two successive

evening services at Trinity Church:--

A week since,--That the controversy between skepticism and

Christianity, as carried on quite recently among us, does not touch the

real point in question, which is whether Christ, the Son of God, has

come into the world, and has changed it, and is changing it for the

better: not whether certain statements of the Hebrew Scriptures can be

verified as facts, but whether there is a living Christ.

And last evening,--That the motive of the Christian life, the true

reason why we should become Christians, and live as Christians, is that

other men may receive the blessing; that it may widen on, through us,

into unknown ages. It was a carrying out of St. Paul’s thought, spoken

to the Ephesians, about the Gentile world and the “ages to come.” It

is the grandeur of Christianity that it will not permit us to shut

ourselves up in our own personal or local interests,--that it belongs

to the whole race, and unites us to every human heart.

A note from Mrs. Garfield this morning. Though so nearly a stranger,

she lets me in, a little way, to the sacred seclusion of her

sorrow,--“this valley and this shadow,” as she calls it. She cannot

see why the blow had to fall upon her,--nor can we see why the country

needed it. The blasphemous conceit of the assassin, who claims to have

been inspired by the Deity, makes it all the more perplexing.

One good thing ought to come of this trial,--that we should all of us

try to know clearly what we mean, when we claim close relations with

the Divine Being. Too many, perhaps all of us, sometimes, use His name

insanely, and therefore irreverently, in our thoughts, and to cloak our

errors to ourselves.

Begin this morning Max Müller’s “Science of Religion,” which I have

never yet thoroughly read.

January 1, 1882. Heard the midnight toll of the passing Old Year at

Trinity Church last night. It was good to be there, and to come out

into the clear starlight and moonlight of the New Year, with the great

company that had reverently gathered in the church to watch the coming

in of 1882,--another Year of Our Lord. Rev. Mr. ----’s sermon was

appropriate, but that old, sad, haunting thought seemed to me to be too

painfully impressed,--that, whatever we do, the scars of our past sins

eternally remain,--that the losses caused by our wrong-doing can never

be made up. Is it the true reading of God’s forgiveness in Christ? Is

not the uplifting power of the new love with which His Spirit floods

our life, something nobler than we should have known, except for the

pain, and the wounding, and the loss that came of sin? For the evil

that has come to others through us, may not a flood of good out of the

heart of our loving Christ overflow all, and lift them, with us, to a

higher stratum of life?--I must believe it--that righteousness in human

souls will obliterate the past evil. If it is to be remembered no more,

it must not _be_ there,--or some better thing must have come in its

place. We cannot tell how far God’s love may extend, what miracles it

works. The chapter about the New Jerusalem coming down from God out of

heaven, was read as the year was passing, and Mr. Brooks made that the

point of his remarks,--that the coming year might be the New Jerusalem

to us. In that light all darkness may surely be forgotten.

January 6, Epiphany. Went to the Church service. The thought that

Christ truly came to us, to all the world, through His birth at

Bethlehem, and the joy of His coming, is a blessing that everybody may

share, and that it is more truly a blessing because it is to be shared,

was chiefly dwelt upon. It struck me as a new thought, that the Wise

Men from the East represented all the science, all the intellectual

treasure of all time, which are truly given to humanity only when laid

at the feet of Christ. The preacher did not express that idea, but it

passed through my mind as I listened. Every gift we have, every work we

do, only becomes a real, living, worthy thing, when given to Christ to

be inspired with His life. If the scientific research of this age could

but see the star hanging over the place where the Young Child lies, and

find its true illumination in Him!

January 7. Miss H---- called, full of enthusiasm over what she believes

herself to have done by healing the sick, through the power of prayer.

I must believe that what she says is true,--and yet I question. Can

this be God’s way? Not impossible--but I have never been able to see

that any prayer for definite physical results was so good as that which

asks to be brought into harmony with the will of God, so that we shall

accept any condition which He sees best for us. Yet--what does the

“gift of healing” mean--if not that He permits health to flow through

one life into another? My little crippled friend, E----, does not feel

sure that she ought to ask God to make her well and strong, like other

girls. I wish she might be, though.

January 8. Miss E. H. called. Our talk always gets back to the one

subject,--Christ in human life. She cannot see that He is more than

the best of all human helpers, and yet she has flashes of higher truth

sometimes. I think she wishes for a definite intellectual idea of the

Christ, for she said to me, “You make it wholly spiritual,”--and so

the conception of him, in the human soul, must be, it seems to me. She

said, “I think of what He was,” and I think of Him, that He is, and

there we parted.

It is to me like the sunlight: clear, penetrating, inspiring, the idea

of Christ who is, was, and is to be, the Eternal Son of the Father,

the presence of God in humanity, as the friend of every soul,--the

uniting link between the human and the divine. I feel my own personal

immortality in following this truth whithersoever it may lead,--deeper,

ever deeper, into the Heart of God, as I earnestly believe.

At church the subject was the power behind all human efforts, which

makes them worth anything. The planter and the waterer are nothing,

except as means bringing the seed to growth, which must first be alive,

a force in itself, which he who tends cannot produce or understand. The

power of God behind all worthy human efforts, that we are tools in

the Master’s hand, and must refer every good result to Him, were the

inferences.

Who can explain moods? A strange depression has been over me to-day, as

of some impending danger to some life near to mine. I shook it off in

going out, but I found myself imagining the saddest thing that could

possibly happen to me or my friends, or the country, or the world. I do

not think I dread any one thing for myself, yet the removal of some of

my friends would leave life very lonely.

January 16. Yesterday I was much instructed and helped by reading one

or two of Maurice’s sermons. The thought that forgiveness means the

putting away of sins is not often emphasized as he does it,--“Power _on

earth_ to forgive sins;” that here one can lay down the burden, and go

on fighting the enemy with a sure hope of conquest, because of that

divine life and strength that comes through a present Christ;--this

is release indeed. Not that we shall be forgiven, but that we are

forgiven, if we turn to the truth in the love of it.

And the thought of the Communion service as a marriage-supper, a token

that our lives are reunited to the divine life, came to me with new

force.

Mr. Brooks preached about heaven, in the afternoon; that it must be the

continuance of life,--of the highest and deepest we know here. There

always will be for us, God, and the “charity” which means love. He

spoke from chapter xiii., I. Corinthians: “For now we see through a

glass darkly,”--carrying out the image of life blurred and distorted

often to us here, made clear there, where only true things can remain.

Keble says, for yesterday, that we may--

“Through the world’s sad day of strife

Still chant his morning song.”

And why should not the music of heaven be the continuing of what is

the true harmony of earth? It must be. The sermon yesterday referred

especially to the death of two ministers in the Church the past week,

Dr. Stone and John Cotton Smith.

January 23. Remarks at table, where surely people talk very freely. One

lady says that she has never for an hour been glad that she was born.

I can scarcely think of such a thing as possible, because it is God’s

world, and if we have any real glimpse of Him we must know that there

is a divine purpose in our being here, even if we do not have the “good

time” in life that we think we deserve. But it may be an inherited

morbid feeling, it may be an affectation,--it may be several things.

Another lady states her Unitarian position that “Christ was human, we

know,--he must also have been more than human, else he could not help

us, therefore he was divine; but he could not have been wholly divine,

else he could not have been an example for us.” The last assertion is

to me untrue. He must be able to help us more, because He is one with

the Father, nor is He less our example, but more. He never gave a lower

standard than this,--“Be ye perfect, even as your Father in heaven is

perfect.” He surely made God our only example of goodness, to learn and

to follow. And we know that we are made in the image of God, because we

cannot in our best moments accept any standard but this,--of perfection

to be sought after through eternity; the grandeur of our being is that

there will always be something beyond for us to seek.

Reading “Ecce Homo” for the first time, with a view to studying the

“Life of Christ” with a friend.

February 6. Reading Renan’s “Life of Jesus.” In the introduction, his

objections to the fourth Gospel seem to me to arise from some lack of

perception in himself. I cannot find in it the “pretentious, heavy,

badly written tirades” to which he alludes. Nor does it seem to me

anything against the book that it was written from memory, long after

the death of Christ. To apply to so close a friendship as that between

Jesus and John the passage, “Our memories are transformed with all

the rest; the idea of a person whom we have known changes with us,”

seems to me a wholly unsatisfactory and unappreciative way of putting

it. If friends, and such friends, do not remember each other as they

really are, we lose the idea of personal identity altogether. Yet Renan

seems to think that John did write the fourth Gospel, and from the

same close kind of intimacy as that which existed between Socrates and

Plato. We surely reach the heart of Christ most closely through the

words of the beloved disciple,--the stories clustering around the birth

of Christ, which Renan dismisses as “legendary,” seem to be so simply

on his assertion. Were they so, the character of Jesus, Son of God and

Son of Man, remains itself divinely alone in the world’s history. But

I cannot see more miracle in the beginning than all the way through.

Nor does it seem to me that it would have been more sacrilegious for

Him to say “I am God,” which he never did in words affirm, Renan says,

than to say, as He did, “I and my Father are one;” “He that hath seen

me hath seen the Father.” He spoke as the Son of Man, referring also

always to His Father, claiming to be, in the closest sense, the Son of

God. As a man, He must refer to the God beyond Him, else He could not

have made Himself understood by men. For myself, I cannot think of God

at all, except as having eternally this human side, by which we human

beings, His children, may know Him. There is no unity in the idea of

Him without this complexity, which shows Him as Father, Son, and Spirit.

Yet Christ’s human life was perfectly human, wholly so; and the

picturesque beauty of that life, the lovely scenery of Nazareth, and

his wayfaring company of disciples, plain countrymen, group themselves

very attractively on Renan’s page. The book fascinates; it seems

always based upon a beautiful, yet most inadequate, conception.

February 20. Many things to remember these last weeks: Mr. Whittier’s

visit, and my almost daily glimpses of him, and talks with him,--a

friendship that grows more satisfactory as the years deepen life.

Separateness of life makes communion of thought almost truer and more

inspiring than when people live near each other, and frequently meet.

I have more admiration and reverence for such a man, from having found

a higher standard in life for myself from which to look across and up

to him. I think everybody who has largeness of character like his needs

perspective; juxtaposition is not acquaintance.

April 27. The weeks pass too busily for record; also I have not

been well. Read with Miss H---- Maurice’s “Gospel of the Kingdom,”

Fairbairn’s “Studies in the Life of Christ,” Neander, “Life of Christ;”

and came to Maurice’s “Lectures on the Gospel of St. John,” which is

left for future study.... A clearer light has come, and yet the sadness

of not living wholly in the light: the bitterness of error and failure!

I will not be morbid; I know that there is always a better self than

myself, waiting to be set free. But the riddles of life are perplexing.

Who are we? What are we struggling for?

I think Maurice one of the most illuminating writers I ever knew. He

looks into a truth, and you see what he sees, if you see anything.

This stirring up of theological questions at Andover is a phenomenon

of the time; a movement towards a simpler holding of truth, and let us

trust a greater honesty in us all in our statements of belief. Opinions

change, but faith lives in the heart of the truth, not in its outward

expression. I wish some formulas could be laid aside, and that we could

come into a real unity of faith.

May 26. Closing days of a lovely visit at Melrose, at the house of two

of the most delightful people,--a true home.

The woods close the house in around my window, and the birds sing

close by. A squirrel has fearlessly come in to visit me once or twice;

a flying squirrel, they say it is. The people I am with show me how

beautiful it is to live truth, justice, and sympathy. They belong to no

Church, but their lives are most beautifully harmonized with the spirit

of Him who was, and is, the expression of God’s love to man. When with

them I almost feel as if it were better not to profess religion in

churches,--this living testimony is so far beyond what most Christians

can show; but then I remember that it is because God in Christ is

in the world, because the divinity has revealed itself in humanity,

that they are what they are. How else have truth, honor, tenderness,

and unselfishness, been kept alive in the human hearts, but by that

revelation of the one life as the divine standard? And if the churches

were all forsaken now, we should see a sad falling off from among us

of such people as these, for most of us need constant reminders that

we are the children of God. We need the Word, the coming together, the

loving, uniting memories of Him who is our life.

Longfellow and Emerson gone from us before the opening of spring! It is

strange to think of New England without them. But they are part of its

life, forever....

Though Miss Larcom was progressing in her knowledge of the Episcopal

Church, she felt no nearer an entrance into that body. She was willing

to enjoy the services at Trinity Church, but she did not want Mr.

Brooks to think, because of her constant attendance, she had any

thoughts of confirmation. So in 1884 she wrote him a letter, stating

her position, which he most cordially accepted, writing her in reply

what he considered the advantages of her attitude.

233 CLARENDON STREET, BOSTON, March 20, 1884.

MY DEAR MISS LARCOM,--My delay in answering your letter does not mean

that I was not deeply interested in it, and very glad to get it. It

only means that I have been too busy to write calmly about anything,

and even now I write mainly to say how glad I shall be if some time or

other we can quietly talk over what you have written. For the present,

however, let me only say, that I accept most cordially the position

which you describe for yourself. I am content that our Church should

be a helpful friend to one who has been living among quite different

associations, and who does not think it best to come into closer

personal connection with her. If God means that there should ever be

a closer association of life between you and the Episcopal Church, He

will make it plain in due time. It is not bad, perhaps, that among the

special connections with particular bodies of Christians which come in

our lives, there should be one period in which, from the very breaking

of our associations with the bodies of Christians, we are able to

realize more directly our relation to the body of Christ. Perhaps this

is such a time for you. If it is, and whether it is or not, may you

find more and more of His light and help, and if anything that I can

do, or that Trinity Church can do, is ever a source of happiness or

strength to you, I know that you will be sure that I am very glad. With

kindest wishes, always,

I am yours most sincerely,

PHILLIPS BROOKS.

Lucy Larcom: Life, Letters, and Diary · 第 9 / 12 章