blueish-grey) as he said this, and how fearfully handsome. And I a
thinkin’ to myself—here I be advisin’ the Nation for her good, and she a
takin’ my advice. I felt noble, very. If I could have accomplished both
of my undertakin’s, I don’t know but I should have felt _too_ noble; but
we all, like Mr. Paul, if we go to soarin’ up too high, have to have a
thorn in the flesh to prick us and keep us down in our place. So I bid
Joseph a almost affectionate good-bye, and Josiah and me started
homewards.
[Illustration]
DOIN’ THE MAIN BUILDIN’.
The next mornin’ I told Josiah we would tackle the Main Buildin’; so we
follered a lot of folks from our tarvern—another spiked gate turned
round with us and let us in, and—and what didn’t that gate let us into?
Oh, good land! Oh, dear suz! You may think them words are strong, and
express a good deal, but they don’t begin to explain to you how I felt.
Why, a hull Dictionary of jest such words couldn’t begin to tell my
feelins as I stood there a lookin’ round on each side of me, down that
broad, majestic, glitterin’ street full of folks and fountains and
glitterin’ stands, and statutes, and ornaments, with gorgeous shops on
each side containin’ the most beautiful beauty, the sublimest sublimity,
and the very grandest grandeur the hull world affords. I advanced a
little ways, and then, not sensin’ it at all, I stopped stun still and
looked round me, Josiah kinder drawin’ me along—entirely unbeknown to
me. Finally he spoke in a sort of a low, awe-stricken whisper:
“Do come along, Samantha!”
But I still stood stun still, lookin’ round me through the eyes of my
specks (Josiah had got the other eye put in), and didn’t sense what he
was a sayin’ to me till he spoke again—hunchin’ me hard at the same
time: “What is the matter Samantha?”
Says I, in low strange tones, “I am completely dumbfoundered Josiah
Allen!”
“So be I,” says he, “but it won’t do to be a blockin’ up the path, and
actin’ baulky; it will make talk. Less go along and do as the rest do.”
So we walked along. And as my dumbfounder began to leave me, and I
recovered the use of my tongue, my first words was:
“Josiah Allen, if I was as young as I once was, and knew I’d live to die
of old age, I’d come right here to this village and live, and go through
this buildin’ and see the biggest heft of its contents. But at my age,
there haint no use of tryin’ to see a half or even a quarter of ’em.”
Says Josiah, “You know Tirzah Ann wanted you to remember what you see
here and describe it to her.”
“Good land!” says I, “I might jest as well undertake to divide off the
sands of the sea, set ’em off into spans and call ’em by name, and
describe the best pints of each on ’em;” says I almost wildly: “if I
should undertake the job I should feel so curious that I shouldn’t never
git over it, like as not;” says I, “Josiah Allen, when anybody tackles a
subject they want a place to take holt, or leggo; it makes ’em feel
awful not to have neither.”
Why, if you’d lift up your head a minute to kind o’ rest your eyes, you
would see enough to think on for a hull natural life. Havin’ in all the
emergencies of life found it necessary to stand firm, and walk even, and
straight forred, I laid out to take the different countries on the north
side, and go through ’em, and then on the south side, go through ’em
coolly and in order, and with calmness of spirit. But long before I had
gone through with the United States, my mind was in a state it had never
been in before through my hull life. I thought I had felt promiscous in
days that was past and gone, but I give up that I never knew the meanin’
of the word before. Why, if there had been a pain of glass put into my
mind, and anybody had looked into my feelins through it, they would say
if they wasn’t liars that they see a sight long to be remembered; though
if they had went to dividin’ off my feelins and settin’ ’em in a row and
tellin’ ’em to set still, they would truly have had a tegus time. Why I
haint got ’em curbed in, so’s to keep any order now, when I go to
thinkin’ about that Main Buildin’.
Instead of travelin’ right through it with dignity, they are jest as
likely as anyway to begin right in the centre of that grand buildin’;
see that great round platform with broad steps a leadin’ up to it on
every side, and that railin’ round it, a fencin’ in the most entrancin’
and heavenly music that ever a earthly quire discoursed upon—music that
would rest you when you was tired, and inspire and elevate you into a
realm of Pure Delight when you wasn’t. And seein’ way up and up to the
ruff, little railins all ornamented off, tear after tear of ’em, and
folks in ’em a lookin’ down onto the endless crowd below; and lions and
eagles, and stars and stripes, and the honored forms and names of George
Washington and B. Franklin up there, to make us feel safe and good. And
then all of a sudden entirely unbeknown to me, my mind will work
sometimes one way, sometimes the other. Sometimes it will give a jump
clear to the west end, and see ornaments, and glass cases, and shinin’
counters with wimmen standin’ behind ’em, and tall jars big enough to
preserve my Josiah hull in, if it was the fashion to preserve pardners.
And it wont think things out with any order, or hardly decency;
sometimes the next thing after a pulpit I’ll think of a dragon; and then
mebby I’ll think of a thermomiter with the quick silver a tryin’ to git
out at the top to walk out to cool itself, and the next thing a
Laplander covered with fur, and a sled; it beats all. There is no use
tellin’ what I _did_ see, but I could tell what I _didn’t_ see in half a
minute. I can’t think now of but one thing that I didn’t see and that is
butternuts, though truly, I might have seen bushels, and not sensed ’em.
Why, along at first when I was a beginnin’ my tower through the United
States, I would be fearfully surprised at the awfully grand and
beautiful things; but before noon I got so that I wasn’t surprised at
nothin’, and Josiah couldn’t make me, though he hunched me several
times, a tryin’ to surprise me, and couldn’t. Why, I’d think I had come
to an end of the grandeur and glory; it _must_ be there couldn’t be any
more, and I’d git my specks all ready to rest off for a minute—when I’d
kinder grope round a little, and out I’d come again into another room
full to overflowin’ of splendor and beauty. Why, once I come out into a
room that had six high pillows in the form of palm trees with long
scalloped leaves towerin’ clear up to the ruff, which was ornamented off
with vines and flowers, and the counters was all covered with raised
work, representin’ the gatherin’ of flowers and the extraction of their
perfumes, and two noble silver-plated gold-tipped fountains, sprayin’
out sweetness; why, no posy bed I ever smelled of could compare with
that room.
And then there was a beautiful pavilion all trimmed off with flowers;
and in the centre, one of the likeliest lookin’ fountains I ever _did_
see, with four different perfumes a jettin’ out, and round each spray a
design showin’ what kind it was. And each one was more perfectly
fragrant and beautiful than the other (as it were). I told Josiah I
wished Shakespeare Bobbet could jest step in here; I guessed he never
would use peppermint essence again on his handkerchief. When he used to
come to see Tirzah Ann, he always would scent up high with peppermint or
cinnamon; he smelt like a apothecary.
But I kep’ a lookin’ round, and oh, such sights of pianos and organs as
I did see; it beat all. Why, there was one parlor organ with
twenty-eight stops to it. Says I, “Josiah Allen what do you think of
that?” Josiah had seen so much he was a gittin’ cross, and he said he
had heerd folks play when he would have been thankful to have had one
stop to it, if they had used it. And such iron and steel works; why we
see a rod over a mile long. And there was one lock that they said had
four billion changes to it. Josiah told me he had jest as good a mind as
he ever had to eat, to stop and count ’em, for he didn’t believe there
was three billions in it if there was two. And there was safes, large
enough to lock up my Josiah in—who is indeed by far the most valuable
ornament I possess—and teeth, and artificial eyes. There was one big
black eye, that Josiah said he would buy if he was able.
Says I, “What under the sun would you do with it Josiah Allen?”
“Oh,” says he, “it might come handy sometime, I am liable to accidents.”
“Why,” says I, “your eyes are as blue as indigo.”
“Well,” says he, “I always liked black eyes, and that is such a awful
smart lookin’ eye, it would give anybody such a knowin’ look.”
I told him I guessed he would look knowin’; I guessed he would know it
when he went round with one black eye, and one blue one. I didn’t
encourage the idee. He looked wishful at it to the last, and he has said
sense, that that was the smartest lookin’ eye he ever see in his life.
And such sights and sights of glass ware, and crystal fountains. I told
Josiah that I had sung about ’em all my life, but never did I expect to
see one. But I did, here it was; handsomer than song could sing. About
three feet from the floor was a basin twelve feet wide, and round this,
seventy-two cut glass vases for flowers, and four pillows havin’ twelve
lights and four more for flowers. In the centre column half way up, was
the most beautiful crystal ornaments and doins you ever see, with
burnin’ jets inside; and over all was a dome held up by three columns,
topped off with spread eagles. The age of this dome was all trimmed off
with red, white, and blue, and under it was the Goddess of Liberty
standin’ on the globe. There is between three and four thousand pieces
of glass in this fountain—so they told me—and they said it was the
nicest one in the world; and I told ’em I didn’t dispute it, for I had
travelled round a good deal, and I never see the beat on’t. And here it
was that I got agitated and frightened; skairt most to death, and I wont
deny it. I was a walkin’ along, cool as a cluster cucumber at sunrise,
and as calm, when I looked up and thinks’es I, there comes a woman that
looks jest like the Smiths; thinks’es I, she looks _jest_ like me, only
not quite so good lookin’. I stopped completely dumbfoundered, and she
stopped also in dumbfounder. I looked her in the face with a almost wild
mean, and _her_ mean looked almost wild.
I give right up that she _was_ a Smith, and then realizin’ what sort of
a tower it was that I was on, I knew it was my place to make the first
move towards gittin’ acquainted with her; so I made her a low curchy,
and she made me a low curchy. And then I walked right up and held out my
hand to her, and she walked right up to me a holdin’ out her hand. Says
I, “Who you be mom, I don’t know, but I believe my soul you are one of
the Smiths, for you look as near like me as two peas, only you are a
little fleshier than I be, and not quite so light complected.” But what
the next move would have been I don’t know if all of a sudden right over
her shoulder I hadn’t seen the face of my Josiah, and I knew he was the
other side of me. Cold shivers run over my back, when I felt a hand a
seizin’ and a holdin’ of me back, and the voice of Josiah a sayin’:
“What under the heavens Samantha, are you a tryin’ to walk through that
lookin’-glass for?”
[Illustration: ONE OF THE SMITH FAMILY.]
I see then where I was, and says I in faint axents: “Josiah Allen, I
should have been through it in a minute more;” and I should. I told him
I was most glad it took place, for it truly seemed as if he renewed his
age, it pleased him so. But he stopped it pretty sudden, for he had a
little incident happen to him, that made him pretty shy about pokin’ fun
at me. The way on’t was, he had been sick all one night, and the next
day he got so tired out that he said he guessed he would git into one of
those rollin’ chairs a few moments to rest him. He whispered to me that
he shouldn’t ride out but seven cents and a half, which would be only
half a quarter of an hour. I whispered back to him that it would look
small in him, and if I was in _his_ place, I would ride a quarter of an
hour, or not try to ride at all. But he whispered back to me, firm as
brass, that seven cents worth and a half was all he should ride and that
was more than he could afford. And knowin’ well he was close, but
honest, I didn’t argue no more. He didn’t tell the man, for fear he
wouldn’t want the bother for so little while.
That was the last I see of Josiah Allen for five hours and a half. He
promised to meet me at a certain time and place, and I was skairt nearly
to death. And I don’t know as I should ever have seen him again, if I
hadn’t happened to meet him face to face. There he was a layin’ back
fast asleep, and that man had been a rollin’ him round for five hours
and a half by the clock, through the different worlds, and he not
sensin’ a thing—sleepin’ jest as sweet in front of them horrible
antediluvian monsters, and the crockydiles, as before calico and bobinet
lace—treatin’ ’em all alike, snorin’ at the hull of ’em. I s’pose he had
dropped to sleep the minute I left him, not sleepin’ any the night
before. I catched right holt of his arm, and says to the man: “Stop
instantly! it is my pardner that you are a rollin’ on; it is a sleepin’
Josiah.”
[Sidenote: JOSIAH’S RIDE IN A CHAIR]
I declare, the man looked almost as foolish as Josiah, only Josiah’s
mean had agony on it; and as he paid out the 3 dollars and 30 cents, his
sithes were more like groans than common sithes. I haint heerd a word
sense from Josiah Allen about my walkin’ through a lookin’ glass in
search of a Smith.
[Illustration: JOSIAH’S FIVE HOURS’ RIDE.]
We then went into Mexico and found it was a noble lookin’ Nation,
considerable on the castle plan; trimmed off handsome at the top with
several open places filled with statutes, and large minerals, and some
of the handsomest plants I ever see. It seemed to have everything it
needed to git along with.
But what was as interestin’ to me as anything, was a great stone,
weighin’ about four thousand pounds, that fell right down out of some
other world, landin’ on ours, down in Mexico. Oh! what emotions I had in
lookin’ at it and thinkin’ if I only knew what that stun knew, I should
be a sight to behold. But I knew the stun wouldn’t speak up and tell me
anything about the world he had come from, or how he happened to start
off alone, or whether he liked our world better than he did hisen, or
anything, if I stood there till the next Sentinal.
And then we went in under a lofty arch, with curtains, and tassels, and
banners, and lions, and crosses, and so 4th into Netherlands. And right
there in the vestibule was pictures and drawin’s and models; showin’
plain what awful hard work they do have to keep their land from
drowndin’; dretful interestin’ it must be to inebriate drunkards there,
seein’ what strong barriers they have raised up between them and the
water.
And we see a little brick house, with part of the thatched roof left
open so you could see right down into the house; and a eatin’ house with
little folks settin’ to the table, and some East India curiosities as
curious as any curiosities I ever laid eyes on. And then we travelled
over into Brazil. I always knew Brazil was a noble Nation, but never,
never did I imagine it was trimmed and ornamented off to such an extent.
We went right in boldly under the ornaments and trimmins, and truly we
did see enough to pay us for our trouble; there was flowers made out of
the most brilliant feathers you ever see. Why I had s’posed old Hail the
Day’s feathers was shinin’; I’ve seen ’em look perfectly gorgeous to me
when he was standin’ round on one foot at the back door a crowin’ and
the sun was a shinin’ down on him; but good land! what was his feathers
compared to these. And then we see the big topaz, brilliant and clear as
well-water almost, sunthin’ the size of a goose egg—s’posen she, the
goose, laid almost square eggs. And oh! if I only had a goose that laid
such eggs, how well off I could git in one season if she done well; it
is worth 150,000 dollars. And we see a sun dial fixed so the sun fired
off a cannon every day at noon. Josiah said he never see the beat on’t,
to think the sun should be willin’ to do such work for anybody—hire out
to do day’s works (as it were.) But I says, “if _anybody_ could git him
at it, it is Mr. Pedro;” says I, “it don’t surprise me, that without
makin’ any fuss about it, or boastin’ a mite, he has got the sun so it
will fire off cannons for him or anything; it is jest like him.” Says I,
“Some monarchs are obleeged to wear a crown instead of a hat, and hold
out a septer in their hand to make anybody _mistrust_ they are kings.
But it haint so with _him_; _his_ royalty haint put on the outside, it
is inherient in _him_, and works out from his heart and soul.”
[Sidenote: A TRIP THROUGH THE WORLD]
I should have went on about him considerable more,—I have such a deep
honor and respect, and such a strong (meetin’ house) regard for him—but
Josiah looked so restless and worrysome. He haint a jealous hair on the
top of his head, (nor a hair of any description) but he worships me so,
I s’pose it gauls him to see me praise up any other man; so we moved on
and made a short tower into Belgium, and see their laces—I don’t believe
there is such splendid laces in the hull world as I see there, and they
call ’em Brussels laces; mebby they be, but I don’t believe it; anyway
they haint made out of hog’s brussels; that I know; and I told Josiah I
knew it, and he said _he_ did, or else they was different from any
brussels he ever see—why you never see anything so perfectly fine and
beautiful; the very nicest bobinet lace that Mother Smith ever made into
a cap border couldn’t compare with the poorest of it. Jest one lace
dress cost 7,000 dollars, and I wouldn’t have made it for a cent less
for anybody, even if they had found their own brussels. But where under
the sun they ever found such brussels is a mystery to me, and to
Josiah—we have talked it over lots of times sense.
And then we made a short call in Switzerland. She wasn’t so big or
trimmed off inside so much as some of the Nations. Her show cases was
quaker color, made up plain, but they looked well. And oh! such watches
as I did see there, and such music boxes! There was one elegant lookin’
one that played thirtysix tunes, and Josiah said he’d love to buy it,
for he believed if he practiced enough, he could play on it first-rate.
That man has a awful good opinion of himself—by spells; says he: “Don’t
you believe Samantha, that by tendin’ right to it, and givin’ my mind up
to it, I could learn?”
Says I dryly, “If you knew enough to play well on a fannin’ mill, or a
grindstun you probably could.”
And then we went back into the Main Aisle, that broad, and glitterin’
highway, full of folks—for as big a crowd as you would see through all
the Nations, you would always find a bigger one here, of Yankeys,
Turkeys, German, Dutch, Tunicks, Jappaned men and Chinee, of all sizes,
and every sex—and sot out for France. And truly if I hadn’t give up
bein’ surprised long before, this place would have been the ruination of
me. Why, if it hadn’t been for a little episode that took place there, I
don’t know but I should be a wanderin’ round there now. It beats all how
the French race can look right down through even the useful, and see
beauty in it, or make it. You could see everything there, from a
necklace worth forty thousand dollars, to a clay pipe; from a little
gold bird that sings every half hour by the watch, up to Virgins, and
sweet faced Madonnas and saints; and the Shepherds and wise men
worshippin’ the infant Christ in a stable, with real straw in the
manger, and real hay in the oxen’s rack. But good land! there’s no use
tryin’ to tell what was there. I couldn’t do it if I talked my tongue
off, so I wont try.
I was a settin’ down in the centre of the room on as soft a lounge as I
ever sot on, a lookin’ at the perfectly gorgeous and wonderful display
of silks and velvets a displayin’ themselves to me, when a good lookin’
feller and girl come in, and sot down by me, and they was a talkin’ over
the things they had seen, and I a mindin’ my own business, when the
young feller spoke up, and says he to the girl:
“Have you seen John Rogers goin’ to the Parson, to git married?”
“No,” says she.
“Well,” says he, “you ort to.”
I turned right round and give that young feller a look witherin’ enough
to wither him, and says I: “That is a pretty story to tell to wimmen,
that you have seen John Rogers goin’ to the Parson to git married.”
“I did see it,” says he, jest as brazen as a brass candlestick.
Says I firmly, “You didn’t.”
Says he, “I did.”
Says I with dignity, “Don’t you tell me that again, or I’ll know the
reason why. You never see John Rogers a goin’ to git married. John was
burnt up years ago; and if he wasn’t, do you think he was a man to go
and try to git married again when he had a wife and nine childern, and
one at the breast? Never! John Rogers’es morals was sound; I guess it
will take more than you to break ’em down at this late day.”
The young feller’s face looked awful red and he glanced up at the young
woman and tried to turn it off in a laugh and says he:
“This is John Rogers Jr., old John Rogers’es boy.”
“Why how you talk!” says I in agitated tones:
“Which one is it; is it the one at the breast?”
“No!” says he. “It is the seventh boy, named after his father. I am well
acquainted with him,” says he takin’ out his watch: “I have an
appointment to meet him in about half an hour, and I’ll introduce you to
him. You’d love to see his ‘Goin’ to the Parson,’ it is a beautiful
statute.”
“Oh,” says I, “then he is a Statuary by trade! why didn’t you say so in
the first on’t.”
“Yes,” says he, “he has got beautiful ones, and we will both go with
you;” and he smiled again at her, and she smiled back at him. My mind
was all took up and agitated at the idee of seein’ the son of that noble
maytyr, my elevator over Betsey, the Widder and other sufferin’s. I told
Josiah I would be back again in a few moments, and then I told the young
feller I was ready to go with ’em; and presently I stood in the United
States again, a lookin’ at some beautiful little statutes.
John Rogers Jr. wasn’t there when we arrived, and so I went to admirin’
his statutes. They was perfectly beautiful, though middlin’ small sized,
and they all had clothes on, which was a surprise to me, and indeed a
treat. The young couple comin’ to the Parson, looked first-rate, though
considerable sheepish. And there was the “Favored Scholar,” lookin’
pretty and important, and the little boy, who I persume got whipped
several times a day, makin’ up a face at her, jest as natural. And there
was “We Boys,” on the horse’s back—goin’ after the cows, mebby; you
could almost smell the clover blows, and the sweet hay a blowin’ down
the lane, and almost hear the tinklin’ of the cow bell way off in the
age of the woody pasture; the boys faces told the hull story. And then
there was the confederate lady with the sick child, “Drawin’ Rations” of
the triumphant North. All the pride of a long race of proud ancestors
looked out of her sad eyes, as she came to take charity of her
conqueror; but it was done for love’s sake—you could see that too, and
that makes hard things easy. It is a middlin’ quiet influence, but it is
more powerful in movin’ folks than a earthquake. And then there was the
“Tap on the Window,” and “Rip Van Winkle,” and others; and before I had
got half through admirin’ of ’em, a good lookin’ man come along that
seemed awful tickled to see the feller and girl with me, and they
laughed and whispered to each other real friendly, and then the young
chap says he: “Allow me to introduce you Madam, to my friend John Rogers
Jr.”
Says I, in tones tremblin’ with emotion: “How do you do, John Rogers
Jr., I’ll make you acquainted with Josiah Allen’s wife;” and then I made
a low curchy and shook hands with him, and says I, “I am all well, and
hope you are the same.” And then politeness bein’ attended to, I spoke
out and says I: