THE DAWNING LIGHT.
Some little time before the supper-bell rang, De Forrest sauntered
in, and witnessed a scene that both surprised and puzzled him.
And yet a lover would scarcely have found, in the quiet and pretty
picture that the parlor and its occupants made, any ground for
jealousy. Hemstead was at the centre-table, under the now-lighted
chandelier, reading aloud from the Bible. Lottie sat by the hearth,
the firelight playing upon an unusually grave and thoughtful face.
"Well," he exclaimed, "you look for all the world like an old
married couple keeping Sunday together."
Of course Hemstead flushed. But why should Lottie's color grow richer
than the ruddy fire-light warranted? She knew she was blushing,
and the fact puzzled her, for it was a new experience to find the
blood flying into her face, and her heart in a sudden flutter.
She was also excessively annoyed at De Forrest's intrusion, for such
it seemed, though he had an equal right to the parlor with herself.
We usually judge unjustly, in proportion as we feel strongly.
But the habit of her old, insincere life swayed her, and she said
lightly, "If, instead of dozing away the whole afternoon, you would
follow Mr. Hemstead's example and read the Bible, you would be the
better for it."
"I would have read to you all the afternoon, if you had given
me a chance, and even from the Bible if you had asked for it," De
Forrest replied, with an injured air.
"Well, you see Mr. Hemstead is a predestined missionary, and he no
doubt thought, and correctly too, that he would never find a truer
object of missionary effort than myself; so I have obtained a better
knowledge of the Bible this afternoon than ever before."
They were now joined by others, and the conversation became general.
Soon after they went out to supper.
The depression of the sermon appeared to have passed from the rest,
as well as from Lottie and Hemstead, though for different reasons.
The latter had gone out of themselves toward God, and had found
Him the source of light and cheer. The others had forgotten Him,
and still remained in the dim, chill grottos of their unbelief,
illumining their darkness by such artificial and earth-lit tapers
as the occasion offered. Mrs. Marchmont's apartments were cosey
and elegant, the supper was inviting, the ruddy wood-fire and easy
chairs suggested luxurious comfort; and why should they not be
comfortable, and quietly forget their dismal thoughts about God, and
the self-denial of the Cross? The current of ordinary and worldly
life, which Hemstead's sincere but mistaken words had rudely
interrupted, now began to flow on as quietly and smoothly as before.
But with Lottie it was very different, and the tides of her life
seemed seeking new channels.
Bel, and to a certain extent the others, noted peculiarities in
her manner and that of Hemstead. Her moodiness was gone, but in
its place was not her old levity. When Moses came down from the
presence of God, his face shone so that he was compelled to veil
its brightness; and it has ever seemed true that nearness to God and
His truth gives spiritual light and attractiveness to the plainest
features.
Lottie was more than beautiful that evening. She was radiant. Like
a sunrise in June, two forms of pure, ennobling love were dawning
in her heart; and the first, faint, unrecognized emotions illumined
her face strangely at times. Her manner was unusually gentle, and
while responding to the general conversation she had many moments
of abstraction, and was evidently carrying on a chain of thought
very different from that appearing upon the surface of their
table-talk. But all remembered that Lottie abounded in moods, and
she was what the commonplace call "an odd girl."
But why Hemstead, after his gloom and chagrin at dinner, should now
be beaming, was not so clear. Bel thought, "The poor moth! Lottie
has been dazzling him with her dangerous smiles. It's a shame."
After supper Harcourt appeared, and sacred music was in order.
Even De Forrest and Addie joined in this with considerable zest.
It was the proper, and about the only thing that could be done on a
Sabbath evening. The most irreligious feel better for the occasional
indulgence of a little religious sentimentality. When the aesthetic
element is supreme, and thorny self-denial absent, devotion is
quite attractive to average humanity. Moreover the dwarfed spiritual
nature of the most materialistic often craves its natural sustenance;
and Sabbath evening at times suggests to the worldly that which alone
can satisfy. The "Sun of Righteousness" sheds a pale, reflected ray
upon them; but this is better than utter darkness, and may lure
forward where the Divine smile will beam fully upon them. Do not
let us undervalue Sunday evening sentiment and sacred music, even
though occurring where there was a dance yesterday, and where there
will be a revel to-morrow. There must always be a first support on
which the grovelling vine can begin to climb heavenward.
Though sentiment, like pale moonlight, causes no ripe and wholesome
growth, it is better than darkness, and is proof that the vivifying
light is shining somewhere.
In the case of Hemstead, however, the words of praise and prayer
composing the hymns sung were the intelligent utterances of a
believing heart to the natural object of its faith and devotion.
Lottie was not much given to sentiment, even in religion, and the
sacred words, a week before, would have come from her lips only,
while she thought of other things; but now she was surprised to
find how her heart was stirred by them, and how, from being empty
phrases, they were becoming full of beautiful meaning.
That was a memorable Sabbath evening to her. It seemed as if within
her old, earth-born, material life, a subtile spiritual one had
been kindled, which illumined and glorified everything.
She felt as if endowed with a new sense, by means of which she was
becoming dimly conscious of a new and different world. She was more
than happy: she was thrilling with strange and mysterious joy, and
was elated beyond measure, as if Christian principle and heaven
were already won; as many a pilgrim is happier before the quickly
coming fall into the "Slough of Despond" than ever again until
within the gates of the Celestial City.
Lottie's flame-like spirit was not prone to take anything coolly;
and now that her soul was kindled by fire from heaven, and in
addition her whole nature awakened by the as yet unrecognized, but
strongest of earthly forces,--the natural love of her heart for
the one to whom only had been given the power to inspire it, little
wonder that her but half-suppressed excitement was surprising both
to herself and others,--little wonder that she was more radiant
than ever she had been upon the gayest and most brilliant occasions.
There was nothing unnatural in her experience. She had looked upon
the face of Him who is the light and life of the world. Let her
enjoy the brief ecstasy. Never chill the soul that is thrilling with
the first strong pulses of spiritual life by discouraging doubts.
Remind such, if you will, that now, as with the disciples of old,
the moments on the Mount of Transfiguration are few, and the days
of work and self-denial on the lowly plain many. But do not fail to
close your homily with the assurance that the work and self-denial
are of earth, while the illumined mount is the type of an eternal
heaven.
The evening was passing. While devotion burned more brightly, sentiment
was flickering out. The others were growing weary. Hemstead had
the tact to see this, and he also wished to be alone that he might
think over the bewildering experiences of the day. Therefore he
suggested that they close with Ray Palmer's beautiful hymn, that
from the first moment of faith, until faith's fruition, is the
appropriate language of those who accept of God's remedy for evil.
"My faith looks up to Thee,
Thou Lamb of Calvary,
Saviour divine.
Now hear me while I pray,
Take all my guilt away,
O, let me from this day
Be wholly Thine."
He hoped that with Lottie it might crown the teachings of the day,
and fix her thoughts on the true source of help.
This hope found a richer fulfilment than he expected, for to her
awakened spirit the lines seemed inspired to express her deepest
need. As the last words trembled from her lips the rush of feeling
was too strong for repression, and she impetuously left the room.