MELIHOVO,
April 21, 1894
Of course it is very nice in the country; in fine weather Russia is an
extraordinarily beautiful and enchanting country, especially for those who
have been born and spent their childhood in the country. But you will never
buy yourself an estate, as you don’t know what you want. To like an estate
you must make up your mind to buy it; so long as it is not yours it will
seem comfortless and full of defects. My cough is considerably better, I am
sunburnt, and they tell me I am fatter, but the other day I almost fell
down and I fancied for a minute that I was dying. I was walking along the
avenue with the prince, our neighbour, and was talking when all at once
something seemed to break in my chest, I had a feeling of warmth and
suffocation, there was a singing in my ears, I remembered that I had been
having palpitations for a long time and thought--“they must have meant
something then.” I went rapidly towards the verandah on which visitors were
sitting, and had one thought--that it would be awkward to fall down and die
before strangers; but I went into my bedroom, drank some water, and
recovered.
So you are not the only one who suffers from staggering!