XVII

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Huntington passed an uncomfortable half hour after watching Merry and

Cosden start off on their sailing-trip, and he was glad to have Edith

Stevens break in upon his unprofitable self-communion. Cosden had put

into words a fact which until then Huntington had stubbornly refused to

acknowledge: he had actually reached a point where he heartily

disapproved of his friend. Connie had said it, and the realization that

what he said was true shook the long-established friendship to the core.

As he analyzed the case Huntington found it difficult to explain why

this complete change in conditions should suddenly have taken place.

Cosden was no different from what he had been during all these years of

their intimacy. In fact, he knew no one among his friends who was so

absolutely consistent in conducting his life in accord with principles

established before their friendship began. Others had commented on

Cosden's commercial instincts, and Huntington always defended him, yet

now these same traits caused him to criticise his friend even more

severely than those whose attitude he had previously thought

unwarranted.

The change, then, Huntington concluded was in himself rather than in

Cosden; and from this point he tried to discover what that change really

was. What had their relations been during these years? They had never

come together in any business way, and Huntington now for the first time

wondered why it would not have been natural for Cosden to turn over to

his office some of his frequent cases in litigation. It had not

previously occurred to him that he might have expected it, but now he

wondered. This in itself was evidence that his friend did not consider

him seriously in the practice of his profession. The real fact was that

they had played together, and that their intimacy had stopped at that

point. Huntington now recalled that in gratifying those characteristics

which found enjoyment in music, art or literature he instinctively

sought the companionship of other friends, and the same analysis

revealed to him that Cosden had done likewise in turning to other and

more kindred spirits in living that part of his life with which his

friend had little sympathy. It had all happened so naturally that

Huntington had never realized until now that in spite of their intimacy

there was a side to each man's life into which the other never entered.

This was the explanation as Huntington thought it out, and the fact that

it could be explained at all gave promise of readjustment. The present

situation did not require any change in the relations of the two

friends. It had been precipitated by the accidental pulling aside of a

curtain which revealed a picture Huntington must always have known was

there, but at which he had always steadfastly refused to look. The

mistake came when Cosden insisted that he peer behind the curtain, and

became intensified when he permitted himself to be drawn into that side

of his friend's life in which he should have known he had no part. The

friendship need be in no way affected: simply restore the old relations,

use greater discretion in keeping them within the bounds which Nature

had prescribed for them, and all would be as before.

Huntington abhorred an enigma because when once focused in his mind a

mental impossibility was created to rid himself of it. He found it

lurking behind his _Transcript_ in the evening, it tried to crystallize

itself in the smoke of his last pipe before retiring, it flirted with

him coyly over his coffee-cup the next morning. Until the figment became

a reality and was dismissed it was a haunting menace to his peace of

mind. Now that he had discovered an explanation of his disapproval of

Connie and had found the antidote, that particular enigma was disposed

of, and he should have been free to resume his normal state; but to his

further discomfiture this was just what he found he could not do. He had

cut off one of the Hydra's heads, but others remained which spat at him

viciously.

Why was it that Cosden's attitude caused him such peculiar annoyance at

this particular time? Had he been entirely straightforward with his

friend, had he been quite frank in answering Hamlen's question regarding

Merry's resemblance to her mother? Huntington's disgust with himself at

that first slip became intensified by its repetition. He recalled De

Quincey's arraignment of the murderer on the ground that murder so

dulls the sensibilities that it is an easy step from this to falsehood.

Huntington, with his Puritan ancestry, would have allowed himself to be

torn by wild horses before he would deliberately tell an untruth, yet

here, on two separate occasions, he had undeniably juggled with the

facts.

When Cosden suggested that there might be some deeper reason for his

objections he promptly and equivocably denied the implication that he

had any interest in Merry beyond that of an older friend; yet he now

knew that the denial was absolutely false. What he told Cosden was what

ought to be the case rather than what the case really was. This was his

secret, and he had protected it in the easiest way, which as usual was a

cowardly subterfuge. The fact that he had made a misstatement or that he

had a secret to conceal had come to him only during this period of

self-communion since the little sloop sailed away, leaving him alone

with his reflections. What he said to Cosden, that he was equally

unsuited to Merry and that he was old enough to be her father, expressed

the cold, hard facts; but he needed no second-sight to tell himself that

during these days of companionship, such as he had never before known,

the girl's sweet personality had penetrated the sham armor of the cynic,

and that he was face to face with an emotion far deeper than any he had

experienced from time to time in his library, in front of that table

with its curious exhibits, with the stage-like accessories of the

albatross-stem pipe and the flickering light from the burning logs. How

tinsel-like it all seemed to him now, compared with this

flesh-and-blood experience in the open air, with its glorious setting of

the sea and the beautiful island foliage!

He had reached this point in his mental activities when he saw Miss

Stevens approaching, and he greeted her cordially. Face to face with

this latest revelation, he disliked his own company. His

responsibilities, which had seemed terrifying to him so short a time

before, now appeared insignificant compared with the new responsibility

with which he had saddled himself. He thought little at this moment of

the burdens imposed upon him by Mrs. Thatcher, by Cosden, or by Billy:

he must now protect the girl against himself, and that would be the

hardest task of all.

Edith Stevens, as well as Huntington, found herself without her usual

occupation this morning. Cosden told her, the evening before, of his

plan to take Merry sailing, so she reverted to her natural habit of late

rising, from which she had temporarily reformed herself, knowing that

Cosden always breakfasted early and was usually looking for

companionship. Seeing Huntington absorbed in self-contemplation she

gravitated in his direction.

"We've lost our little playmates, haven't we?" she said cheerfully, as

he rose and pulled up another piazza chair for her. "Why isn't this a

good time for our Society to go into executive session?"

"Capital!" Huntington assented, replying only to the second part of her

question. "Is the secret-service department ready to make its report?"

"I've found the girl," she announced bluntly; "but I imagine you know

already who she is."

"The girl Connie is going to marry?" Huntington simulated a proper

attitude of interrogation.

"The girl he thinks he wants to marry," she corrected.

"Oh! he only thinks so. That's it, is it?"

Edith raised her eyes from the toe of her buckskin shoe, which she had

been poking vigorously with her sunshade, and smiled brightly.

"Yes," she said; "that's it."

"You speak with conviction."

"Well," Edith explained, "I know Mr. Cosden better now than when the

Society last met. He wants to get married, and he thinks he has picked

out the right girl, but--"

"But--what?"

"But--he hasn't; that's all." And again Edith smiled brightly into

Huntington's face.

"Connie isn't in the habit of making mistakes; he usually gets what he

goes after."

"So he told me," she admitted, with an expression on her face which

Huntington thought significant; "but there's always a first time to

everything; and this is where Mr. Cosden meets his Waterloo."

"I understood that you had been coaching him--"

"So I have."

"But I thought we agreed--"

"We did; and I've lived up to our agreement. You watch his face when he

comes in! I'm oozing out the balance of the morning here simply to give

myself that satisfaction."

"You must have some inside information which has not been incorporated

in your report."

"Not exactly; but I know Mr. Cosden and I know Merry. When he begins to

trade for a wife she won't understand the language, and if he tries to

teach it to her--well, he may learn something himself."

"You think he will propose to her this morning?"

"If she lets him get as far as that. He's been working up to this point

ever since he arrived, and the only way to cure him was to let him have

his own way."

It was a novel experience to Huntington to see any one other than Cosden

himself undertake to manage his personal affairs. The certainty with

which Miss Stevens spoke evidenced a closer acquaintanceship with Connie

than Huntington had realized existed.

"What will happen when this episode is over? Do you care to prophesy?"

he asked.

"He will come back to his counsel to have his wounds bandaged, and then

the education of Mr. Cosden will continue from the point where it was

temporarily interrupted."

"You are assuming a great responsibility," Huntington suggested.

"I'm still retained," she answered demurely. "That's what you lawyers

call it, isn't it?"

Edith rose and sat for a moment on the edge of the piazza rail, her eyes

looking down the harbor. She was impatient for the returning boat, and

made no attempt to conceal it. At last her vigilance was rewarded, and

she returned to her chair.

"S-ssh! they're coming!" she said mysteriously, placing her finger on

her lips. "We mustn't seem to be waiting for them. Talk to me!"

Huntington tried to obey her instructions during the intervening

moments, but it was obvious that Miss Stevens heard little of what he

said. She was intently watching the steps yet endeavoring to appear

entirely unconcerned. Merry was the first to see them, and she came

forward with her usual animation and enthusiasm.

"We've had a wonderful sail!" she said. "The morning was simply perfect,

and it is such fun to play hide-and-seek among these little islands."

"She knows how to handle a boat all right," Cosden said from behind, but

his tone did not reflect the girl's vivacity.

"Why, it's like sailing a toy boat in a bath-tub," Merry disclaimed.

"You come down to the shore some time when there's a good breeze and

I'll show you some real sailing. Mr. Cosden is such good company!" she

added, turning to the others. "He has given me some really new ideas,

and that is more than one usually gains from a sailing-party. I'm going

to think them over so that I can argue with him more intelligently next

time we have a discussion.--I must run up now and get ready for lunch."

Cosden remained behind.

"Come sit down with us, Connie," Huntington urged.

"I prefer to stand," was the unexpected answer, yet in spite of his

remark he sat down on the piazza rail which Miss Stevens had so recently

vacated. He too looked down the harbor, but his companions realized that

it was not the panorama which interested him. They also sensed the

kindliness of silence. At last he turned toward them.

"I don't know why I shouldn't speak before both of you," he said. "You,

Monty, are my oldest friend, and Miss Stevens has been good enough to

let me take her into my confidence. I want you both to look me over and

tell me what's the matter with me."

"You look perfectly good to me, Connie," Huntington replied lightly,

scenting unpleasantness, and helplessly trying to divert it.

"You know what I mean," Cosden replied brusquely, determined to force

the issue, "and I want you to take me seriously. What you said this

morning gave me a jolt, of course, but it didn't sink in deep enough to

affect my confidence in myself. Now it's gone all the way through and

come out the other side, and at the present moment I feel as big as a

two-spot in a pinochle deck."

"Did she refuse you?" Edith asked, with almost too much eagerness in her

voice.

"Refuse me?" he echoed. "She didn't even give me the satisfaction of

recognizing that I had the slightest intention to propose."

"Then what did happen?" Huntington demanded. "You seemed to be on the

best of terms when you came up here, and Merry complimented you on being

good company."

"She was rubbing it in, that's all. We didn't have any trouble; that

isn't the point. I planned this out, as you both know, with the definite

idea of asking her to marry me, and before I knew what had happened she

had twisted the situation around where I was on the defensive and had

made myself look so ridiculous that I wouldn't have had the nerve to

propose to a colored cook. There is something in all this which I don't

understand, and I must understand it. I'm average intelligent, I've had

some experience in life, and if a slip of a girl like that can make me

lose my confidence then there's something radically wrong. You struck it

right this morning, Monty, and I tell you it hurts!"

The man's humiliation was so complete that both his companions were

eager to relieve him. Huntington's loyalty to his friend caused instant

forgetfulness of his recent resentment.

"Don't mind what I said, Connie," he urged contritely. "I had no right

to speak as I did."

"You had every right," Cosden insisted. "All these years you have seen

the lack of this something in me, and you've overlooked it because you

were my friend. This morning you had sand enough to tell me the

unpleasant truth when you knew I ought to hear it. What I want to find

out now is what these 'finer instincts' are, and how I am to get them."

The momentary silence which followed was evidence of the difficulty his

auditors found in answering his appeal. He was in such deadly earnest

that it was impossible to avoid direct reply. When this mood was on him,

Huntington knew that he would deal with nothing but facts.

"Let me leave you and Mr. Huntington to discuss this," Edith said,

rising.

"Please," Cosden detained her. "We are past the point of sensitiveness.

I want your advice as well as Monty's. I'm up against something I don't

understand," he repeated, "and I'm looking to you two to show me up to

myself."

"What is the use, Connie?" Huntington expostulated. "You have gone alone

all these years living your own life; why disturb yourself now over

something to which you have always been blissfully indifferent?"

"Can't you see that the situation has changed, Monty? It was all right

until I found out that I was different from other people. This is what

the boys at the Club meant when they jollied us about our friendship. I

always thought I was as good as anybody, but if an experience like this

can make me lose my confidence in myself then the matter is really

serious. It is this confidence which has made it possible for me to

accomplish what I have, and if I once lose it then my strength is gone.

It's all I have, Monty,--I can see that now. I must protect it, and you

must help me. You must tell me what the trouble really is; I don't care

how brutally frank you are so long as you tell me."

"Then come over here and sit down," the older man said gently. "I will

try to make it clearer to you. The finer instincts I referred to can't

be bought, for they are not for sale; they come from every-day contact

with the humanities, and with those whose lives are spent in this

atmosphere. Your business has been your religion, Connie, and you are

branded with its ear-marks as plainly as the goods your factories

produce. Now, for the first time, you find yourself in an atmosphere

which considers business only as a means to bring the refinements of

life within closer reach, and it stifles you because of your

unfamiliarity with it."

Cosden listened patiently to the lengthy discussion which followed with

the same attention which he gave to Thatcher when the trolley

proposition was outlined, but his expression when Huntington finally

paused and looked up showed bewilderment rather than comprehension.

"I hear your words, Monty," he said frankly, "and your meaning is as

dense as Merry's talk about her 'vision.' But there's one thing you

haven't said, probably because you want to spare my feelings, which no

doubt explains the whole thing. This knowledge of the 'finer instincts'

comes naturally to you, Monty, because you were born in that atmosphere

you speak of; I wasn't. Some men acquire them as a result of their own

efforts, some devote their efforts to other things, as I have done. 'You

can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.' Isn't that what you really

mean to say, Monty?"

"You are too severe on yourself, Mr. Cosden," Edith said

sympathetically, affected by the spectacle of this strong,

self-sufficient man suffering under the lash without realizing in the

least the power which wielded it. In his complacent mood she had longed

for the ability to wound his self-assurance, but the climax had been

reached without her assistance, and the woman in her failed to find the

satisfaction she had anticipated.

"Well," Cosden said finally, rising and holding out a hand to each, "I

can't say that you've given me much enlightenment, but you've made some

things fairly clear. It will be a long time before I can look my

business in the face without blushing; but I count on those who are

really my friends to stand by me while I pumice down the marks of the

branding-iron. In the meantime, don't you think for a moment that I'm

indifferent to this thing we're talking about. Now that I know it

exists, in spite of your doubts, I intend to get it. If business

interferes, I'll cut out business. I refuse to let anything stand

between me and what I want."

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The Bachelors: A Novel · 第 16 / 41 题