_SCHOOL_.
After much consideration the colonel had determined that Esther should
be a sort of half boarder at Miss Fairbairn's school; that is, she
should stay there from Monday morning to Saturday night. Esther
combated this determination as far as she dared.
'Papa, will not that make me a great deal more expense to you than I
need be?'
'Not much difference, my dear, as to that. If you came back every night
I should have to keep a horse; now that will not be necessary, and
Christopher will have more time to attend to other things.'
'But, papa, it will leave you all the week alone!'
'That must be, my child. I must be alone all the days, at any rate.'
'Papa, you will miss me at tea, and in the evenings.'
'I must bear that.'
It troubles me, papa.'
'And that you must bear. My dear, I do not grudge the price I pay. See
you only that I get what I pay for.'
'Yes, papa,' Esther said meekly. She could go no further.
Miss Fairbairn was a tall woman, but not imposing either in manner or
looks. Her face was sensible, with a mixture of the sweet and the
practical which was at least peculiar; and the same mixture was in her
manner. This was calm and gentle in the utmost degree; also cool and
self-possessed equally; and it gave Esther the impression of one who
always knew her own mind and was accustomed to make it the rule for all
around her. A long talk with this lady was the introduction to Esther's
school experience. It was a very varied talk; it roved over a great
many fields and took looks into others; it was not inquisitive or
prying, and yet Esther felt as if her interlocutor were probing her
through and through, and finding out all she knew and all she did not
know. In the latter category, it seemed to Esther, lay almost
everything she ought to have known. Perhaps Miss Fairbairn did not
think so; at any rate her face expressed no disappointment and no
disapproval.
'In what way have you carried on your study of history, my dear?' she
finally asked.
'I hardly can tell; in a box of coins, I believe,' Esther answered.
'Ah? I think I will get me a box of coins.'
Which meant, Esther could not tell what. She found herself at last, to
her surprise, put with the highest classes in the English branches and
in Latin.
Her work was immediately delightful. Esther was so buried in it that
she gave little thought or care to anything else, and did not know or
ask what place she took in the esteem of her companions or of her
teachers. As the reader may be more curious, one little occurrence that
happened that week shall serve to illustrate her position; did
illustrate it, in the consciousness of all the school family, only not
of Esther herself.
It was at dinner one day. There was a long table set, which reached
nearly from the front of the house to the back, through two rooms,
leaving just comfortable space for the servants to move about around
it. Dinner was half through. Miss Fairbairn was speaking of something
in the newspaper of that morning which had interested her, and she
thought would interest the girls.
'I will read it to you,' she said. 'Miss Gainsborough, may I ask you to
do me a favour? Go and fetch me the paper, my dear; it lies on my table
in the schoolroom; the paper, and the book that is with it.'
There went a covert smile round the room, which Esther did not see;
indeed, it was too covert to be plain even to the keen eyes of Miss
Fairbairn, and glances were exchanged; and perhaps it was as well for
Esther that she did not know how everybody's attention for the moment
was concentrated on her movements. She went and came in happy ignorance.
Miss Fairbairn received her paper, thanked her, and went on then to
read to the girls an elaborate account of a wonderful wedding which had
lately been celebrated in Washington. The bride's dress was detailed,
her trousseau described, and the subsequent movements of the bridal
party chronicled. All was listened to with eager attention.
'What do you think of it, Miss Dyckman?' the lady asked after she had
finished reading.
'I think she was a happy girl, Miss Fairbairn.'
'Humph! What do you say, Miss Delavan?'
'Uncommonly happy, I should say, ma'am.'
'Is that your opinion, Miss Essing?'
'Certainly, ma'am. There could be but one opinion, I should think.'
'What could make a girl happy, if all that would not?' asked another.
'Humph! Miss Gainsborough, you are the next; what are your views on the
subject?'
Esther's mouth opened, and closed. The answer that came first to her
lips was sent back. She had a fine feeling that it was not fit for the
company, a feeling that is expressed in the admonition not to cast
pearls before swine, though that admonition did not occur to her at the
time. She had been about to appeal to the Bible; but her answer as it
was given referred only to herself.
'I believe I should not call "happiness" anything that would not last,'
she said.
There was a moment's silence. What Miss Fairbairn thought was not to be
read from her face; in other faces Esther read distaste or
disapprobation.
'Why, Miss Fairbairn, nothing lasts, if you come to that,' cried a
young lady from near the other end of the table.
'Some things more than others,' the mistress of the house opined.
'Not what you call "happiness," ma'am.'
'That's a very sober view of things to take at your age, Miss Disbrow.'
'Yes, ma'am,' said the young lady, tittering. 'It is true.'
'Do you think it is true, Miss Jennings?'
There was a little hesitation. Miss Jennings said she did not know.
Miss Lawton was appealed to.
'Is there no happiness that is lasting, Miss Lawton?'
'Well, Miss Fairbairn, what we call happiness. One can't be married but
once,' the young lady hazarded.
That called forth a storm of laughter. Laughter well modulated and kept
within bounds, be it understood; no other was tolerated in Miss
Fairbairn's presence.
'I have _heard_ of people who had that happiness two or three times,'
the lady said demurely. 'Is there, then, no happiness short of being
married?'
'Oh, Miss Fairbairn! you know I do not mean that, but all the things
you read to us of: the diamonds, and the beautiful dresses, and the
lace, and the presents; and then the travelling, and doing whatever she
liked.'
'Very few people do whatever they like,' murmured Miss Fairbairn.
'I mean all that. And that does not last--only for a while. The
diamonds last, of course'--
'But the pleasure of wearing them might not. True. Quite right, Miss
Lawton. But I come back to my question. Is there _no_ happiness on
earth that lasts?'
There was silence.
'We are in a bad way, if that is our case. Miss Gainsborough, what do
you say? I come back to you again. Is there any such thing on earth as
happiness, according to your terms?--something that lasts?'
Esther was in doubt again how to answer.
'I think there is, ma'am,' she said, with a look up at her questioner.
'Pray what is it?'
Did she know? or did she not know? Esther was not certain; was not
certain that her words would find either understanding or sympathy in
all that tableful. Nevertheless, the time had come when they must be
spoken. Which words? for several Bible sayings were in her mind.
'"Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord: that walketh in His ways.
For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt them be, and
it shall be well with thee."'
The most profound silence followed this utterance. It had been made in
a steady and clear voice, heard well throughout the rooms, and then
there was silence. Esther fancied she discerned a little sympathetic
moisture in the eyes of Miss Fairbairn, but also that lady at first
said nothing. At last one voice in the distance was understood to
declare that its owner 'did not care about eating the labour of her
hands.'
'No, my dear, you would surely starve,' replied Miss Fairbairn. 'Is
that what the words mean, do you think, Miss Gainsborough?'
'I think not, ma'am.'
'What then? won't you explain?'
'There is a reference, ma'am, which I thought explained it. "Say ye to
the righteous that it shall be well with him: for they shall eat the
fruit of their doings." And another word perhaps explains it. "Oh fear
the Lord, ye His saints; for there is no want to them that fear Him."'
'No want to them, hey?' repeated Miss Fairbairn. 'That sounds very much
like happiness, I confess. What do you say, Miss Lawton?--Miss Disbrow?
People that have no want unsatisfied must be happy, I should say.'
Silence. Then one young lady was heard to suggest that there were no
such people in the world.
'The Bible says so, Miss Baines. What can you do against that?'
'Miss Fairbairn, there is an old woman that lives near us in the
country--very poor; she is an old Christian,--at least so they
say,--and she is _very_ poor. She has lost all her children and
grandchildren; she cannot work any more, and she lives upon charity.
That is, if you call it living. I know she often has very little indeed
to live upon, and that very poor, and she is quite alone; nobody to
take the least care for her, or of her.'
'So you think she _does_ want some things. Miss Gainsborough, what have
you to say to that?'
'What does _she_ think about it?' Esther asked.
She looked as she spoke at the young lady who had given the instance,
but the latter took no notice, until Miss Fairbairn said,
'Miss Baines, a question was put to you.'
'I am sure I don't know,' Miss Baines replied. 'They _say_ she is a
very happy old woman.'
'You doubt it?'
'I should not be happy in her place, ma'am. I don't see, for my part,
how it is possible. And it seems to me certainly she wants a great many
things.'
'What do you think, Miss Gainsborough.'
'I think the Bible must be true, ma'am.'
'That is Faith's answer.'
'And then, the word is, "Blessed is every one that _feareth the Lord;_"
it is true of nobody else, I suppose.'
'My dear, is that the answer of Experience?'
'I do not know, ma'am.' But Esther's smile gave a very convincing
affirmative. 'But the promise is, "No good thing will He withhold from
them that walk uprightly."'
'There you have it. "No good thing;" and, "from them that walk
uprightly." Miss Disbrow, when you were getting well of that fever, did
your mother let you eat everything?'
'Oh no, ma'am; not at all.'
'What did she keep from you?'
'Nearly everything I liked, ma'am.'
'Was it cruelty, or kindness?'
'Kindness, of course. What I liked would have killed me.'
'Then she withheld from you "no good thing," hey? while she kept from
you nearly everything you liked.'
There was silence all round the table. Then Miss Baines spoke again.
'But, ma'am, that old woman has not a fever, and she don't get any nice
things to eat.'
'It is quite likely she enjoys her meals more than you do yours. But
granting she does not, are you the physician to know what is good for
her?'
'She does not want any physician, ma'am.'
A laugh ran round the table, and Miss Fairbairn let the subject drop.
When dinner was nearly over, however, she remarked:
'You want light for your practising. I will excuse you, Miss
Gainsborough, if you wish to go.'
Esther went, very willingly. Then Miss Fairbairn held one of her little
discourses, with which now and then she endeavoured to edify her pupils.
'Young ladies, I am going to ask you to take pattern by Miss
Gainsborough. Did you notice her movements when she went to do that
little errand for me?'
Silence. Then murmurs of assent were heard, not very loud, nor
enthusiastic. Miss Fairbairn did not expect that, nor care. What she
wanted was to give her lesson.
'Did you observe how she moved? She went like a swan'--
'On land' her keen ears heard somebody say under breath.
'No, not on the land; like a swan on the water; with that smooth,
gliding, noiseless movement which is the very way a true lady goes.
There was the cat lying directly in her way; Miss Gainsborough went
round her gracefully, without stopping or stumbling. The servant came
right against her with a tray full; Miss Gainsborough stood still and
waited composedly till the obstacle was removed. You could not hear her
open or shut the door; you could not hear her foot on the stairs, and
yet she went quick. And when she came back, she did not rustle and
bustle with her newspaper, but laid it nicely folded beside me, and
went back to her seat as quietly as she had left it. Young ladies, that
is good breeding in motion.'