"What! Don't you know your Roman History better than that?"
"No," he answers--"do you?" Then a sudden thought strikes him. "Oh,
I'll ask Miss MYRTLE" (Miss MYRTLE is the Governess)--"_she_'ll be
sure to know. _She_ isn't a muff."
_Query_--What is the best line to take with a remark like that?
Before I decide the point, HERBIE rushes out into the garden, and
is immediately sent spinning into a cucumber-frame by his kind elder
brother, who then disappears into the house.
Yells from HERBIE. Go in and send the Governess to him. Relief from
children for about ten minutes.
_At Breakfast_.--Mother cross. Seems to think that _I_ ought to have
prevented ERNIE from mutilating HERBIE. HERBIE appears with head
bandaged, still sobbing. French again, thank Heaven!--so children
silent. Never felt the advantage of foreign languages till now.
Mamma, with a courage worthy of a better cause, asks me, "What time
lessons will begin?" I reply, evasively, "that I shall be in the
library, and that I will ring for _ERNEST_ (I lay stress on the word
ERNEST, as excluding the two others) when I am ready for him."
I do, after a good preliminary smoke. HERBIE and JACK present
themselves at the same time. I send them off to the Governess, and
lock the door; Governess sends them back to me; result is, that they
play about outside library all morning, so that we (ERNEST and I) can
hardly hear ourselves speak.
Put ERNIE through his paces. Ask him what he knows. Process (I
fear) incidentally reveals to him what _I_ know. Hear him at lunch
explaining to HERBIE (with whom he has made friends again) that I am
"not bad at sums, but a shocking duffer at Latin." Pretend not to hear
the remark.
_Afternoon_.--Find the three boys, _and two girls_, all
waiting--apparently--to go out for a country walk with me!
What! Two-and-two! Never!
"But--er--" I say, addressing the little girls, in a pleasant tone,
"aren't you going out with your Governess?"
"Oh, yes"--they both exclaim at once--"_she's coming too_!"
The situation is becoming more and more embarrassing. I can't, in
politeness, refuse the Governess's society for a walk. I solve the
problem, temporarily, by telling all five children to run up to Miss
MYRTLE, and ask her which way she thinks we had better go.
They perform the commission with alacrity, which gives me the
opportunity of slipping out at back-door, and taking quiet ramble by
myself. _When_ will Paterfamilias himself turn up? I have not seen or
heard from Mr. BRISTOL MERCHANT yet.
I am fated, however, to hear from him pretty soon; and, when I do,
his communication is surprising. It comes in the form of a telegram,
addressed to me. It runs thus:--
"Just heard President asked you to take tutorship. Misunderstanding.
Very sorry, but have myself engaged another tutor. He will arrive this
evening. Shall I tell him not to come? Awkward! Wire reply."
Awkward! On the contrary, I feel it to be almost providential. Mamma
doesn't apologise, but says, frankly--"Why, if he comes, there'll be
two tutors--and _one is quite enough_!"
I telegraph briefly to the effect, that, under the circumstances, I
will go at once.
Bid good-bye (after lunch) to ERNIE, in hall. He says--"I knew _you_
would never do for the place," and ought to have his ears boxed by his
fond Mamma, but hasn't. As I go down front walk, see him and HERBIE
and JACK all putting out what I think I may appropriately call their
"mother tongues" at me from a top window!
_Moral_--for my own consumption: Never go to an uncultivated family
again.
So ends my Tutorship! And I've never once set eyes on my employer all
through!
After this _fiasco_, the President certainly ought to do something
handsome for me.
He does! Writes and says how sorry he is to hear of the stupid mistake
that has been made. He knows of another very nice family, in Cheshire,
who want a Private Tutor. Shall he mention my name to _them_? Not for
worlds!
* * * * *
[Illustration: WHO WOULD NOT BE A TENOR?
_The Fair Bohemian Girl_:--
"I HAD RICHES TOO GREAT TO COUNT, COULD BOAST
OF A HIGH ANCESTRAL NAME;...
BUT I ALSO DREAMT, WHICH CHARMED ME MOST,
THAT YOU LOVED ME STILL THE SAME--
THAT YOU LOVED ME, YOU LOVED ME STI-ILL THE SAME!"
(_Sketched from a Provincial Pit._)]
* * * * *