Thomas Gradgrind was proud of himself. He was a
"self-made" man who attributed his own successes in
life to his mastery of Facts. He is here
represented as officially testing a school upon its
knowledge of his favorite Facts.
"Now what I want is Facts. Teach these boys and
girls nothing but Facts. Facts alone are wanted
in life. You can only form the minds of reasoning animals
upon Facts; nothing else will ever be of any service to
them. This is the principle on which I bring up my own 5
children. Stick to Facts, sir; nothing but Facts."
The speaker, and the schoolmaster, and the third grown
person present, all backed a little and swept with their eyes
the inclined plane of little vessels then and there arranged
in order, ready to have gallons of facts poured into them 10
until they were full to the brim.
Thomas Gradgrind, sir. A man of realities. A man of
facts and calculations. A man who proceeds upon the
principle that two and two are four and nothing over,
and who is not to be talked into allowing for anything over. 15
Thomas Gradgrind, sir, with a rule and a pair of scales
and the multiplication table always in his pocket, sir,
ready to weigh and measure any parcel of human nature
and tell you exactly what it comes to.
It is a mere question of figures, a case of simple arithmetic. 20
You might hope to get some other nonsensical
belief into the head of George Gradgrind, or Augustus
Gradgrind, or John Gradgrind, or Joseph Gradgrind; but
into the head of Thomas Gradgrind--no, sir!
Indeed, he seemed to be a kind of cannon loaded to the
muzzle with facts.
"Girl number twenty," said Mr. Gradgrind, squarely 5
pointing with his square forefinger. "I don't know that
girl. Who is that girl?"
"Sissy Jupe, sir," explained number twenty, blushing,
standing up, and curtsying.
"Sissy is not a name," said Mr. Gradgrind. "Don't 10
call yourself Sissy. Call yourself Cecilia."
"Father calls me Sissy, sir," returned the young girl in a
trembling voice and with another curtsy.
"Then he has no business to do it," said Mr. Gradgrind.
"Tell him he mustn't. Cecilia Jupe. Let me see. What 15
is your father?"
"He belongs to the horse riding, if you please, sir."
Mr. Gradgrind frowned, and waved off the objectionable
calling with his hand.
"We don't want to know anything about that, here. 20
You mustn't tell us about that, here. Your father breaks
horses, don't he?"
"If you please, sir, when they can get any to break, they
do break horses in the ring, sir."
"You mustn't tell us about the ring, here. Very well, 25
then. Describe your father as a horse breaker. He
doctors sick horses, I dare say."
"Oh, yes, sir!"
"Very well, then. He is a veterinary surgeon, a farrier,
and a horse breaker. Give me your definition of a horse." 30
Sissy Jupe was thrown into the greatest alarm by this
demand.
"Girl number twenty unable to define a horse!" said
Mr. Gradgrind. "Girl number twenty possessed of no
facts in reference to one of the commonest of animals!
Some boy's definition of a horse. Bitzer, yours."
The square finger, moving here and there, lighted suddenly 5
on Bitzer, perhaps because he chanced to sit in the
same ray of sunlight which irradiated Sissy.
"Bitzer," said Thomas Gradgrind, "your definition of a
horse."
"Quadruped. Graminivorous. Forty teeth: namely, 10
twenty-four grinders, four eyeteeth, and twelve incisors.
Sheds coat in the spring; in marshy countries, sheds hoofs
too. Hoofs hard, but requiring to be shod with iron.
Age known by marks in the mouth."
"Now, girl number twenty," said Mr. Gradgrind, "you 15
know what a horse is."
She curtsied again and would have blushed deeper, if she
could have blushed deeper than she had blushed all this
time.
The third gentleman now stepped forth. A mighty man at 20
cutting and drying, was he; a government officer; always
in training, always with a system to force down the general
throat, always to be heard of at the bar of his little public
office.
"Very well," said this gentleman briskly, smiling and 25
folding his arms. "That's a horse. Now, let me ask you,
girls and boys, would you paper a room with representations
of horses?"
After a pause, one half the children cried in a chorus,
"Yes, sir!" Upon which the other half, seeing in the 30
gentleman's face that "yes" was wrong, cried out in a
chorus, "No, sir!"--as the custom is in these examinations.
"Of course not. Why wouldn't you?"
A pause. One corpulent slow boy, with a wheezy manner
of breathing, ventured to answer, "Because I wouldn't
paper a room at all; I'd paint it."
"You _must_ paper it," said the gentleman rather warmly. 5
"Yes, you must paper it," said Thomas Gradgrind,
"whether you like it or not. Don't tell _us_ you wouldn't
paper it. What do you mean, boy?"
"I'll explain to you, then," said the gentleman, after a
dismal pause, "why you wouldn't paper a room with representations 10
of horses. Do you ever see horses walking
up and down the sides of a room in reality--in fact?
Do you?"
"Yes, sir!" from one half. "No, sir!" from the other.
"Of course not," said the gentleman, with an indignant 15
look at the wrong half. "Why, then, you are not to see
anywhere what you don't see in fact; you are not to have
anywhere what you don't have in fact. What is called
taste is only another name for fact. This is a new principle,
a discovery, a great discovery," said the gentleman. "Now 20
I'll try you again. Suppose you were going to carpet a
room, would you use a carpet having a representation of
flowers upon it?"
There being a general conviction by this time that "No,
sir!" was always the right answer to this gentleman, the 25
chorus of "No," was very strong. Only a few feeble
stragglers said, "Yes"; among them Sissy Jupe.
"Girl number twenty," said the gentleman, smiling in
the calm strength of knowledge.