THE LATEST THEORIES

Medical theories are so much a matter of fashion, and the most fertile

of them are modified so rapidly by medical practice and biological

research, which are international activities, that the play which

furnishes the pretext for this preface is already slightly outmoded,

though I believe it may be taken as a faithful record for the year

(1906) in which it was begun. I must not expose any professional man to

ruin by connecting his name with the entire freedom of criticism which

I, as a layman, enjoy; but it will be evident to all experts that my

play could not have been written but for the work done by Sir Almroth

Wright in the theory and practice of securing immunization from

bacterial diseases by the inoculation of "vaccines" made of their own

bacteria: a practice incorrectly called vaccinetherapy (there is nothing

vaccine about it) apparently because it is what vaccination ought to be

and is not. Until Sir Almroth Wright, following up one of Metchnikoff's

most suggestive biological romances, discovered that the white

corpuscles or phagocytes which attack and devour disease germs for us do

their work only when we butter the disease germs appetizingly for them

with a natural sauce which Sir Almroth named opsonin, and that our

production of this condiment continually rises and falls rhythmically

from negligibility to the highest efficiency, nobody had been able

even to conjecture why the various serums that were from time to time

introduced as having effected marvellous cures, presently made such

direful havoc of some unfortunate patient that they had to be dropped

hastily. The quantity of sturdy lying that was necessary to save the

credit of inoculation in those days was prodigious; and had it not been

for the devotion shown by the military authorities throughout Europe,

who would order the entire disappearance of some disease from their

armies, and bring it about by the simple plan of changing the name

under which the cases were reported, or for our own Metropolitan Asylums

Board, which carefully suppressed all the medical reports that revealed

the sometimes quite appalling effects of epidemics of revaccination,

there is no saying what popular reaction might not have taken place

against the whole immunization movement in therapeutics.

The situation was saved when Sir Almroth Wright pointed out that if you

inoculated a patient with pathogenic germs at a moment when his powers

of cooking them for consumption by the phagocytes was receding to its

lowest point, you would certainly make him a good deal worse and perhaps

kill him, whereas if you made precisely the same inoculation when the

cooking power was rising to one of its periodical climaxes, you would

stimulate it to still further exertions and produce just the opposite

result. And he invented a technique for ascertaining in which phase the

patient happened to be at any given moment. The dramatic possibilities

of this discovery and invention will be found in my play. But it is one

thing to invent a technique: it is quite another to persuade the medical

profession to acquire it. Our general practitioners, I gather, simply

declined to acquire it, being mostly unable to afford either the

acquisition or the practice of it when acquired. Something simple,

cheap, and ready at all times for all comers, is, as I have shown, the

only thing that is economically possible in general practice, whatever

may be the case in Sir Almroth's famous laboratory in St. Mary's

Hospital. It would have become necessary to denounce opsonin in the

trade papers as a fad and Sir Almroth as a dangerous man if his practice

in the laboratory had not led him to the conclusion that the customary

inoculations were very much too powerful, and that a comparatively

infinitesimal dose would not precipitate a negative phase of cooking

activity, and might induce a positive one. And thus it happens that the

refusal of our general practitioners to acquire the new technique is

no longer quite so dangerous in practice as it was when The Doctor's

Dilemma was written: nay, that Sir Ralph Bloomfield Boningtons way of

administering inoculations as if they were spoonfuls of squills may

sometimes work fairly well. For all that, I find Sir Almroth Wright,

on the 23rd May, 1910, warning the Royal Society of Medicine that "the

clinician has not yet been prevailed upon to reconsider his position,"

which means that the general practitioner ("the doctor," as he is called

in our homes) is going on just as he did before, and could not afford

to learn or practice a new technique even if he had ever heard of it.

To the patient who does not know about it he will say nothing. To the

patient who does, he will ridicule it, and disparage Sir Almroth. What

else can he do, except confess his ignorance and starve?

But now please observe how "the whirligig of time brings its revenges."

This latest discovery of the remedial virtue of a very, very tiny

hair of the dog that bit you reminds us, not only of Arndt's law of

protoplasmic reaction to stimuli, according to which weak and strong

stimuli provoke opposite reactions, but of Hahnemann's homeopathy, which

was founded on the fact alleged by Hahnemann that drugs which produce

certain symptoms when taken in ordinary perceptible quantities, will,

when taken in infinitesimally small quantities, provoke just the

opposite symptoms; so that the drug that gives you a headache will

also cure a headache if you take little enough of it. I have already

explained that the savage opposition which homeopathy encountered from

the medical profession was not a scientific opposition; for nobody seems

to deny that some drugs act in the alleged manner. It was opposed simply

because doctors and apothecaries lived by selling bottles and boxes of

doctor's stuff to be taken in spoonfuls or in pellets as large as peas;

and people would not pay as much for drops and globules no bigger than

pins' heads. Nowadays, however, the more cultivated folk are beginning

to be so suspicious of drugs, and the incorrigibly superstitious people

so profusely supplied with patent medicines (the medical advice to take

them being wrapped round the bottle and thrown in for nothing) that

homeopathy has become a way of rehabilitating the trade of prescription

compounding, and is consequently coming into professional credit. At

which point the theory of opsonins comes very opportunely to shake hands

with it.

Add to the newly triumphant homeopathist and the opsonist that other

remarkable innovator, the Swedish masseur, who does not theorize about

you, but probes you all over with his powerful thumbs until he finds out

your sore spots and rubs them away, besides cheating you into a little

wholesome exercise; and you have nearly everything in medical practice

to-day that is not flat witchcraft or pure commercial exploitation of

human credulity and fear of death. Add to them a good deal of vegetarian

and teetotal controversy raging round a clamor for scientific eating

and drinking, and resulting in little so far except calling digestion

Metabolism and dividing the public between the eminent doctor who tells

us that we do not eat enough fish, and his equally eminent colleague

who warns us that a fish diet must end in leprosy, and you have all that

opposes with any sort of countenance the rise of Christian Science with

its cathedrals and congregations and zealots and miracles and cures:

all very silly, no doubt, but sane and sensible, poetic and hopeful,

compared to the pseudo science of the commercial general practitioner,

who foolishly clamors for the prosecution and even the execution of the

Christian Scientists when their patients die, forgetting the long death

roll of his own patients.

By the time this preface is in print the kaleidoscope may have had

another shake; and opsonin may have gone the way of phlogiston at the

hands of its own restless discoverer. I will not say that Hahnemann may

have gone the way of Diafoirus; for Diafoirus we have always with us.

But we shall still pick up all our knowledge in pursuit of some Will o'

the Wisp or other. What is called science has always pursued the Elixir

of Life and the Philosopher's Stone, and is just as busy after them

to-day as ever it was in the days of Paracelsus. We call them by

different names: Immunization or Radiology or what not; but the dreams

which lure us into the adventures from which we learn are always at

bottom the same. Science becomes dangerous only when it imagines that

it has reached its goal. What is wrong with priests and popes is that

instead of being apostles and saints, they are nothing but empirics

who say "I know" instead of "I am learning," and pray for credulity and

inertia as wise men pray for scepticism and activity. Such abominations

as the Inquisition and the Vaccination Acts are possible only in the

famine years of the soul, when the great vital dogmas of honor, liberty,

courage, the kinship of all life, faith that the unknown is greater than

the known and is only the As Yet Unknown, and resolution to find a

manly highway to it, have been forgotten in a paroxysm of littleness and

terror in which nothing is active except concupiscence and the fear of

death, playing on which any trader can filch a fortune, any blackguard

gratify his cruelty, and any tyrant make us his slaves.

Lest this should seem too rhetorical a conclusion for our professional

men of science, who are mostly trained not to believe anything unless it

is worded in the jargon of those writers who, because they never really

understand what they are trying to say, cannot find familiar words for

it, and are therefore compelled to invent a new language of nonsense

for every book they write, let me sum up my conclusions as dryly as is

consistent with accurate thought and live conviction.

1. Nothing is more dangerous than a poor doctor: not even a poor

employer or a poor landlord.

2. Of all the anti-social vested interests the worst is the vested

interest in ill-health.

3. Remember that an illness is a misdemeanor; and treat the doctor as an

accessory unless he notifies every case to the Public Health authority.

4. Treat every death as a possible and under our present system a

probable murder, by making it the subject of a reasonably conducted

inquest; and execute the doctor, if necessary, as a doctor, by striking

him off the register.

5. Make up your mind how many doctors the community needs to keep

it well. Do not register more or less than this number; and let

registration constitute the doctor a civil servant with a dignified

living wage paid out of public funds.

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