_Monday morning_.
I WONDER how I lived before I met Robert. I wonder what use were the
days. Oh! and I wonder, I wonder if the Duke continues to be obdurate
about me if I shall ever have the strength of mind to part from him so
as not to spoil his future.
Such a short time ago--not yet four weeks--since I was still at
Branches, and wondering what made the clock go round--the great big
clock of life.
Oh, now I know! It is being in love--frightfully in love like we are.
I must try to keep my head though, and remember all the remarks of
Lady Ver about things and men. Fighters all of them, and they must
never feel quite sure. It will be dreadfully difficult to tease Robert,
because he is so direct and simple; but I must try I suppose. Perhaps
being so very pretty as I am, and having all the male creatures looking
at me with interest will do, and be enough to keep him worried, and I
won’t have to be tiresome myself. I hope so, because I really do love
him so extremely, I would like to let myself go and be as sweet as I
want to.
I am doing all the things I thought perfectly silly to hear of before.
I kissed his letter, and slept with it on the pillow beside me, and
this morning woke at six and turned on the electric light to read it
again! The part where the “Darling” comes is quite blurry I see in
daylight; that is where I kissed most I know!
I seem to be numb to everything else. Whether Lady Ver is angry or not
does not bother me. I did play fair. She could not expect me to go on
pretending when Robert had said straight out he loved me. But I am sure
she will be angry, though, and probably rather spiteful about it.
I will write her the simple truth in a day or two, when we see how
things go. She will guess by Robert not going to Sedgwick.